princes hours

  • Me: sees queen Elizabeth is trending
  • Me: hasn't had an emergency news alert from the BBC
  • Me: is confused

Person: “Sure I like Captain Kirk!”

Me:

Person: “He’s like Han Solo! That devil-may-care hero trope is my favorite!”

Me:

Person: “Plus, talk about a ladies’ man!”

Me:

3

THIS IS WHAT I WANT FROM MYSTERY PERSON AAAAAA

Will was busy cutting his toast into thin strips and forming rude pictographs out of them.

“What is that supposed to be?” Jem asked curiously. “It looks almost like a -” He glanced up, saw Tessa, and broke off with a grin. “Good morning.

—  Clockwork Prince, the chapter where Jem was about to say dick.
Daedric Princes, Loosely Interpreted
  • Molag Bal: Prince of bosses who call their employees "family" when they're in a good mood but exploit and underpay them consistently
  • Nocturnal: Prince of greasy goth dudes who only come out of their house at night to go to underground speakeasy bars
  • Peryite: Prince of peak hour train passengers who smell bad and not being able to sleep because there's a mosquito hovering around somewhere (or maybe it's just tinnitus??)
  • Mephala: Prince of kinks you didn't know existed and Deep Web drug dealing
  • Sheogorath: Prince of neurotypicals who think mental illness is quirky and at some point in their life had a "random" phase
  • Jyggalag: Prince of DM's who insist on players following the narrative they decided on in advance that get mad when players attempt to circumvent their rules creatively
  • Namira: Prince of making people profoundly uncomfortable by telling them things about you they really don't want to know
  • Hermaeus Mora: Prince of Sapiosexuality, Lovecraft's better known works and Deviantart
  • Azura: Prince of being so out of touch you don't see what's wrong with constantly spending money on clothes, wearing them once, then throwing them out
  • Mehrunes Dagon: Prince of temper tantrums in public because the manager won't refund the item you bought at a different store over a year and a half ago
  • Sanguine: Prince of Goon Sacks pegged on the washing line and a long cycle of snacking while you wait for other snacks to cook
  • Meridia: Prince of university political groups that have similar ideals to you but thrive on creating petty drama and are really only involved for what it can do for their resume
  • Hircine: Prince of having pay tv but only the sport channels and believing that killing animals is a good, character building exercise for boys
  • Vaermina: Prince of using drugs in the hopes of having a life changing epiphany only for it to reduce you to a twitching heap of regret
  • Clavicus Vile: Prince of taking advantage of new players in MMO's by befriending them and convincing them to give you all their good loot and ripping them off when trading
  • Boethiah: Prince of smirking and sneering alternatively as you scroll through social media of people who Wronged you in high school
  • Malacath: Prince of overcompensating for loneliness by being outwardly cynical, standoffish and aggressive