and Prince Charles
during his Bad Tour at Wembley Stadium in London on July 16, 1988.
Jackson presented Britain’s Prince and Princess of Wales with gifts before his third sell-out concert. Princess Diana is holding one of the gifts, a Bad tour jacket. He also donated $450,000 dollars to the Prince’s Trust.
It shouldn’t be that surprising really. It wasn’t like the others spent that much time around him. (He couldn’t really blame them for that, it wasn’t like he was the most pleasant person in the world to spend time with).
And aside from them, who else was there? There weren’t that many people in the mindscape. So yeah, it shouldn’t be that surprising that Anxiety had never been hugged before.
And yet, even Logic, who was normally better about seeing the obvious, had seemed startled earlier, and maybe even concerned. Anxiety didn’t get it. It wasn’t like it was a big deal or anything. So he hadn’t ever been hugged before, so what? He got on perfectly fine without any unnecessary physical contact. Really.
The whole thing had come out over breakfast. Morality, in an attempt to get the others to open up and talk more, had asked Logic what he’d been studying recently. More than eager to show off his knowledge, Logic had enthusiastically described in detail the articles he had been reading about scientific studies on physical contact.
“It has now been definitively proven that we need physical contact to stay healthy,” Logic had babbled, leaning forward to engage Morality, who was listening in what seemed like genuine interest.
“So what you’re saying is that hugs are good for you?” Morality had asked excitedly.
“Yes, actually they’re extremely beneficial,” Logic had replied. “They’re the exact kind of positive contact needed to maintain emotional and physical well-being.”
That was when Anxiety had snorted, getting the attention of not only Morality and Logic, but Prince as well, looking up from his cereal.
“Is there something you find funny, Anxiety?” Logic had asked, one hand going to adjust his glasses.
Anxiety had rolled his eyes.
“I just find it all a bit ridiculous,” he had drawled. “I mean, really? We need hugs to survive? That just sounds like bullshit. And besides, even if it were true, it’s not like it applies to us. We’re not exactly normal humans.”
“Awww, c’mon, kiddo,” Morality had pouted. “Even you have to admit that hugs make you feel good, all warm and safe.”
Anxiety had huffed. “I don’t need to try out that touchy-feely stuff to know that this theory’s bullshit.”
“You can’t just dismiss the science behind this!” Logic had sputtered, having looked more and more outraged as Anxiety spoke. But before Anxiety could reply to that, he had been cut off by Prince.
“Try it out… Anxiety, have you ever been hugged before?”
The question had hung in the air, the other three turning to look at Anxiety.
Feeling uncomfortable under the scrutiny, Anxiety had just shrugged. “It’s how I knew this whole thing was bullshit, I seem to be doing just fine.”
“Oh, kiddo,” Morality had whispered, sounding heart-broken for some reason.
Not wanting to stick around and deal with the weird atmosphere that has settled over them, Anxiety had just muttered, “It’s not a big deal, Morality,” and ducked out.
He still didn’t get why the others had seemed so horrified. It wasn’t a big deal. Still he was sure they’d get over it. Hell, they’d probably already dismissed it. And by this time tomorrow, it would be forgotten entirely.
Back in the kitchen
“He’s never been hugged before. How did we not know that?” Logan asked, stunned.
“Well he does tend to kept to himself,” Prince pointed out, sounding uneasy. “I-I can’t say I ever really thought about this whole thing really, but I suppose I just assumed that Morality had hugged him at some point.”
“I should have” Morality whimpered, his head in his hands. “I noticed that he tended to shy away from me, and I decided to wait for him to come to me. But that was a mistake. I should have been the one to reach out.”
“We all should have,” Logan sighed. Then with a disturbing thought beginning to form in his mind, he continued, slowly. “Actually, just setting aside the hug matter for now, when was the last time you can remember Anxiety getting any form of physical contact? A handshake, a pat on the back, anything?”
The other two paused, obviously thinking hard.
“I, well, I remember clapping him on the shoulder a few weeks ago,” Morality replied, now sounding even more horrified than before. “He’d fetched something for me, but I can’t really remember anything else.”
“We held hands in the Valentine’s Day video,” Prince said hesitantly. “That’s about it though.”
A frown formed on Logan’s face. “Then it’s as I feared,” he said gravely. “Anxiety is likely extremely touch-starved at this point.” Seeing that Morality looked to be on the verge of tears, he hastily continued, “But that can be fixed!”
“Of course we’ll fix it,” Prince stated confidently, “Princess Pessimism and I may not always get along that well, but that doesn’t mean I wish him harm, and from what you were saying earlier, Logic, this is doing him harm.”
“You’re right,” Morality sniffed, sounding a little better. “We will make this better. I’m going to give him all the hugs.”
“That might not be the best idea just yet,” Logan cautioned sharply. “Given the severity and duration of Anxiety’s touch-starvation, even a small amount of physical contact may seem overwhelming right now. It’s better to start small and work our way up to larger gestures of physical affection such as hugs.”
Morality nodded. “Okay, I can do that.”
“What do we do if he pulls away?” Prince broke in, “Should we let him?”
“Yes, I think so,” Logan replied. “We don’t want to make him uncomfortable. If he pulls away, let him, just be prepared to keep offering the physical contact. Once he starts relaxing and accepting the smaller gestures, we will start offering larger ones, and so on.”
“It’s a plan.” Morality replied, looking more determined than Logan had seem him in a long while. Yes, they had made a terrible mistake in overlooking the youngest of the sides, but they were going to fix it.
The next morning, Anxiety slipped into the kitchen. He had ended up spending the previous day hanging out in his room and watching Netflix, which had been fun, but he was also pretty hungry at this point.
“Good morning, kiddo,” Morality called out cheerfully. “Logan’s making omelets, so can you help me set the table?”
“Sure,” Anxiety mumbled, wanting to get at the food as quickly as possible. He was starving.
Silently, he began to lay out silverware, as Morality got the plates and cups. It didn’t take them long to finish.
“Thanks, Anxiety,” Morality said, and then reached out and ruffled his hair?
A little startled, Anxiety moved back, staring at Morality in bewilderment. But the other side seemed oblivious to his confusion, only humming cheerfully as he sat down. He didn’t have too long to dwell on it though, as Logic came out of the kitchen with the food.
Once Prince had finally deigned to join them, they began eating. Anxiety ate silently, letting the others do the talking. When he was finished he went and put his plate in the sink, but before he could leave the kitchen completely, Logic grabbed his hand.
“Wait, before you go,” he said, pulling Anxiety closer, “I was wondering if you’d be willing to help me troubleshoot some plans for working on the next videos. You have a knack for spotting potential problems.”
“Uhhh,” Anxiety was having trouble responding. Did-did Logic realize he was still holding Anxiety’s hand? “Um, sure,” he finally stammered out.
Logic gave him a small smile. “Excellent,” he said briskly. “I have the plans laid out in my room.”
With that he tugged on their joined hands once more, towing Anxiety behind him. Anxiety could only follow along helplessly, still not really sure what was going on.
At the end of the day, Anxiety was ready to crawl under the covers and hope the world made more sense in the morning. Things had been slightly off all day. It wasn’t anything drastic, but Morality and Logic seemed to be paying slightly more attention to him than usual. It was just different enough to throw him off balance. He hadn’t seen Prince though, so that at least was normal.
But apparently he’d spoken too soon, because that was when Prince popped up.
“Ah, Anxiety, excellent. I was just looking for you.”
Anxiety only looked at him in askance. Why?
Prince seemed to catch his silent question because he elaborated. “I need you to help me convince Morality and Logic to host a Disney movie marathon tonight.”
“And you wanted my help” Anxiety said flatly. “Really?”
Prince rolled his eyes. “If we work together and both request it, it will surprise them enough to agree. Also I promise we’ll watch The Black Cauldron first if you help.”
“….Fine,” Anxiety replied after a moment of silence. It wasn’t a terrible deal.
“Fantastic,” Prince cheered, and then hooked his arm through Anxiety’s. “Come, I believe they’re in the common area.”
Anxiety moved on autopilot, his brain hyper-focused on the fact that Prince was rightthere. In his personal space. He could feel their shoulders pressed together. He couldn’t figure out Prince’s intentions though. He was chattering on and on about the movie marathon, not seeming care about their closeness in the slightest. Anxiety let it go. It didn’t mean anything. He was just getting paranoid.
Anxiety enjoyed the movie night, but he made sure to sit in an armchair away from the others, still slightly wary of their intentions. But nothing else seemed to be happening that night, so he relaxed and enjoyed the movies, even allowing himself to sing a little under his breath.
But then the next morning, the weirdness was back. While Anxiety still had time and space to himself, it felt like every other moment one of the others was there, pulling him along to go and do something. Eventually, he snapped.
“What the fuck is going on.” he snarled at Logic, who had asked to him to help with the grading of papers of all things.
“What do you mean, Anxiety?” Logic said, tilting his head. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“You and the others have been acting all,” here Anxiety flailed, looking for the appropriate word. “Weird,” he finally said, looking suspiciously at Logic. “Seriously, what are you trying to do?”
The other side raised an eyebrow. “I would have thought it was obvious,” he replied.
“Very well,” Logan said. “We, as a group, have recently become aware of a problem we had previously overlooked and are now endeavoring to fix it. Namely, your touch-starvation.”
Anxiety’s face grew hot. He’d thought they’d forgotten about that. “I don’t have a problem,” he said, “And I don’t need you trying to hug me.”
“Don’t worry,” Logic replied, infuriatingly calm. “We have no intention of trying to hug you right now. We can tell you’re not ready for that level of physical affection.”
Anxiety’s face felt like it was on fire now. Who the hell did he think he was saying stuff like this. But before he could tell Logic off, the other side stepped forward, and much to Anxiety’s astonishment, placed a kiss on his forehead.
“Don’t worry, Anxiety,” he said gently, one of his hands coming up to cradle Anxiety’s head. “I know it seems like a lot right now, but that’s why we’re taking it slow.”
Anxiety couldn’t reply, all of his thoughts were centered on the fingers now scritching at his scalp. It didn’t feel bad, it was kind of soothing actually. But at the same time, it was overwhelming. Logic seemed to understand though, as after one last scritch, he pulled his hand back.
“We’re going to fix this,” he said, holding Anxiety’s gaze. “I promise.“
Not knowing how to reply to that, Anxiety fled, but he could still feel Logic’s eyes following him as he went, and the ghost of Logic’s fingers running through his hair, burning like fire.
Apocrypha is the plane of Oblivion inhabited and ruled by Hermaeus Mora. It is an endless library of forbidden knowledge, resting between a sickly green sky and a writhing black ocean. It is said that if one reads any of the books, they will become attached to the realm, forever hungry for more knowledge, never leaving.
How does one get to Apocrypha?
Of course, not a literal Black Book. Any item that grants new knowledge can act as a portal to Apocrypha. These portals are called Black Books.
Examples of Black Books:
Once you have a Black Book:
Hold it or touch it.
Meditate- Close your eyes. Take deep breaths in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Focus on Apocrypha and Hermaeus Mora.
Visualize a green-black void opening up, and tentacles coming out of it. Let the tentacles pull you into the darkness.
Obviously you won’t physically be in Apocrypha at this point, but you should be projecting or traveling there astrally. Don’t expect to see everything with your physical eyes (though that is a possibility).
Explore the halls. Do not look in any of the books. If you see any spirits/creatures floating around, do not worry. They are only there to guard the forbidden knowledge in the books. If you ever do feel threatened, immediately follow step 6.
I don’t recommend staying too long your first time, as it may exhaust you or put a strain on you. To leave, visualize the tentacles pulling you back out of Apocrypha. Keep breathing deeply, then open your eyes.
Shake yourself off, stretch, eat a snack, get a drink. Ground yourself.
I’ll eventually make a post about the inhabitants of Apocrypha, but I hope you enjoyed this!
If you have any questions, my ask box is always open!
Cinders to Castles - A spell for a royal confidence/recovery boost
A quick and easy spell inspired by Cinderella’s transformation, it is meant to help the caster experience a positive change in confidence, both mentally and physically. This can also be used to help you recover from a bad experience!
Water (preferably river, moon, or vase water - but any cleansed water will do)
Incense (preferably related to the intent, like pine. Sandalwood is a good general replacement too - but any will do!)
Sea glass and/or clear quartz
Set the sea glass and/or quartz in the water
Focus on your strengths, whether it be things you know about yourself, or strengths others have pointed out in you, let that fuel the fire that burns away your weaknesses (or negative experiences)
Begin burning the incense, watch the smoke wind upwards, and send your weaknesses
(or negative experiences)
with it, letting them dissipate
Let the incense burn out - or put it out when you feel ready
Take the ashes from the burnt out incense, rub your hands together, covering your hands in the ashes. If you want, you can also smear some on your face and arms (do not put near eyes, mouth, or nose!)
If you have the optional glitter, mix it in to your water
Finally, use the water to wash away the ashes, while saying the following:
“Cinders and ashes are but a disguise,
from out of these ashes, a [ * ] will rise!”
*Traditionally “Princess” but can be replaced with any 2 syllable phrase (ex: ”new Prince”, “Princex”, “new me”)
Prince wrote his 1979 hit “I Wanna Be Your Lover” and “I Feel For You” for and about his crush
pianist/R&B singer Patrice Rushen. Rushen known for her 1982 single, “Forget Me Nots” rejected both songs. Chaka Khan’s cover of “I Feel for You” became a hit in 1984. Prince, as songwriter, won the 1985 Grammy Award for Best R&B Song.