primitive species

Special ops in space part 1

Decided to hop on the humans are space orcs band wagon. My take on how aliens contacted humans and how it went from there from a slightly more militaristic and scientific approach.
The day that the Intergalactic Alliance for Planetary Peace (jokingly called the APP by the younger generation, quoting an old saying “there’s an app for that”) was five years after all of the nations had declared world peace after the bloodiest war yet. Half of the human population had been decimated by everything but nuclear bomb, every world leader had decided that enough was enough.

They had showed up at one of the council meetings that take place on a different continent every month to discuss less pressing matters. It almost ended horribly, an unknown group of entities showing up where all of the world leaders had congregated, but through fast talking on the alien’s part and the vow to be more peaceful beings earlier made by the humans, everything ended up going well.

Which lead to the current situation. While they may claim to be more peaceful, humans are still wary of areas where none of them had been before. So, along with a team of top scientists and medical staff, there went a team of the top 6 military personnel. Three from assorted American special ops, one from Norway, one from Canada, and the last from Poland. When questioned by the members of the A.P.P, the leaders stated that there was absolutely no way in hell they were allowing their top people into an unknown area without protection. The warriors on the ship, when they heard this, laughed. How could a squishy group of mud covered savages that haven’t even reached outside of their own solar system could really do anything?

This was an opportunity for the researchers of the Alliance to study the surprisingly hardy species as well. They were surprised that these soft creatures were the top of the food chain, even with everything, including their own atmosphere, trying to kill them. So the ship of researchers set off into deep space to discover new planets and to discover more about each other.

The first meeting was terrifying. Three soldier were the first on the ship, no emotion showing on their faces, heavy exoskeleton like armor surrounding what they assumed covered their vital regions, and more sleek looking weapons than seemingly possible. Many were happy that the scientists did not look the same, though some did look just as serious while others were gaping in awe. Then, three more of the heavily armed men followed.

It was a tense two days on the ship for the aliens. The human soldiers inforced the fact that they were a predator species by prowling around the entirety of the ship minus the private chambers. Though they weren’t too sure that they haven’t been there but went when nobody was watching. Soon though, the soldier lessened the amount of firepower they had on them and lightened the amount of armor they had on. In the communal rations center they were seen slightly separated from the other humans, sitting in a tight group and bearing their teeth at one another, rapidly switching languages to communicate. The human designated Sara, specializing in chemistry, explained to Gumantal (a poor pronunciation of him true name, but the sounds needed to actually speak it would ruin a human throat so he allowed it) that the team came from different ‘countries’ that have different languages and sometime dialects, and that the entire team had learned each other’s and many other languages in order to communicate with other humans. When asked why not simply use a translator device, such as the one they were using right now, the human female bared her teeth and stated that it was better for them to do their jobs if they didn’t need one. She went on to explain that even if they couldn’t speak it, they were well on their way to learn each of the other species on the ship’s language.

Gumantal apologized afterwards for upsetting her with his questions, then asked what he did to offend her. Humans were an intricate species of primitive life form so they wanted to avoid any tensions early on. Sara and all of the other researchers bared their teeth this time, reassuring the brave many armed alien that they were not angry, the bared teeth was called a smile and it showed amusement or joy. The forest green alien walked away, bewildered.

It was sometime later that those on the ship learned that the soldiers were composed of both males and females. When asked why the males did not do everything in their power to protect the biologically weaker, less muscular birth givers, Human Victor bared his teeth for the first time and seemed to bark harshly.

“I dare you to ask Oliver that! She’d rip yer mandibles off and feed ‘em to ya! Lyne would as well, now that I think about it. One thing you need to learn about humans, women are supposedly weaker than us men but they can still kick ass.”

A shaking Xiloiy later learned from Human designation William, occupation physicist that the barking was laughter, and that yes, human females stand on equal ground to the males of the species. This puzzled him as he came from a race that protected the bearers of his species to ensure the continued survival. Human William barked, laughed, at this when he stated it, shaking his head. Xiloty is still perplexed as to why.

All aliens on the ship were confused by their new companions and were curious as to how they would handle being a foreign planet with life for the first time. This was also the time that Xiloiy began to make a journal on the habits and any other information on humans, fearing having his outer mandibles ripped off as they were crucial to attracting a mate.

The special ops team assigned to protect the crew as well as gathering intel on everything they could were anxious as well, packing everything they may need for a worst case scenario. The warrior species that were to protect the crew and ship originally were insulting them when they believed the humans were not paying attention, mocking the useless item that would only tire them out. The ops team knew though that if push came to shove that they would be the ones to survive. After all, they’ve had to survive worse than some unknown territory. They were all highly trained to be able to conquer situations like that. Colonel Victor Kelly would make damn sure his people made it through this.

The Author

A/N This is my attempt to set up a coherent posting schedule. I’ll try to keep a chapter posted every two weeks or so, we’ll see how it goes. 

Another important thing! This will be the fifth and final stand alone for this series. Everything afterward is gonna be in a continuous fic, with characters taking turns narrating. (Guess who’s next. Literally the only character whose POV I’ve been saving). 

Au by @doodledrawsthings, based on Flat Dreams by @pengychan.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Stanford couldn’t sleep. There had been worries before that this would happen: that Bill would somehow come back from the dead, throw another world-ending party, break reality as they knew it, and all because Stanford had let his guard down, to clueless to realize what was happening right under his nose. There were times where he woke up and saw his brother sporting those chilling, yellow eyes, the insane smile, the unnerving laugh, only to realize it was simply the aftereffects of the nightmare.

Stanford was by no means a superstitious man, but Bill Cipher was not superstition, he was fact. And as long as there was even a possibility of that monster coming back, Ford would keep his guard up, ready for the illusion of peace to be shattered.

And it happened, just like Ford had predicted. But not in the way he had thought.The scientist was expecting raining fire, cracks in the sky, demons raising hell on earth, and all other kinds of disturbing, over the top dramatics when it came to Bill Cipher. This was not what he got.

Having something to defeat was understandable, was clear and predictable and something he knew how to address. But here there was nothing left to defeat. Bill Cipher was crushed, downed, helpless and powerless. And Ford did not know what to do with an enemy like that.

So for once he stepped back and let his family decide. And apparently, the family decided to keep him.

Keep reading

klance mall visit

for @irllucyloud : Langst prompt: Lance and the rest of the crew go to a space mall. Lance wanders off and finds an alien who is the alien version of a psychic/therapist. They talk and Keith overhears/evasdrops.

keith literally follows lance in this one lol, i hope its not too ooc for you taste ;u; also this turned out way longer than i expected it to, so aaaah
also im posting this on mobile so sorry for no cut!! i’ll add it later, sorry!!!!


If Keith told someone he’d followed Lance without any background information, they’d probably think he was a creep.

Honestly, Keith wouldn’t blame them–After all, when Hunk told him that he and Lance had followed Pidge around to see Keith blow up the whole place, he was a little weirded out.

But Keith at least had a better reason than “wanting to hit the town”. In fact, he had two.

This was an entirely new space mall, despite the similarities from the original one they had been to, so it wasn’t like anybody knew where to go. Plus, he had just been checking in on Lance because they were teammates, and DEFINITELY not because Keith had a crippling crush on him, thank you very much.

So while Keith hid behind plants and couches, Lance was walking into multiple stores, coming out with two or more bags more than what he had walked in with.

Once Lance had collected around 19 bags and Keith had successfully hidden behind 6 weird plants and 3 deformed couches, the brunette dropped his bags into some weird Harry Potter-like enchanted bag that looked way too small to fit all of the things he’d purchased–Keith would have to ask Coran about it sometime.

Said raven-haired boy then watched, er, noticed Lance walk into some weird gypsy store.

Keith didn’t know Lance believed in that sort of stuff, but, you know. Whatever.

Keith crept up to the door, and making sure nobody could look at him and think he was eavesdropping, pulled out the galactic newspaper and stared while listening.

“-Uh, you know. I have a pretty sweet team. There’s Hunk, the mechanic and chef, a freaking genius who pretty much located the Blue Lion–my BFF. At least, I hope he feels the same. And then Pidge, who is your go-to person if you need something about computers. Hell, they’re 15 and they built a quiznaking computer that scanned up to the edge of our solar system!- Not that that’s extremely impressive to you guys, but, ya know. We’re a primitive species.

“Allura is a space princess! I know, right? And she’s beautiful, and I used to have a major crush on her, but now I like someone else, you know? But anyway, she lost her father and slept for 10,000 years and she still tries to be a part of Voltron. She’s amazing. And Coran, the closest guy I have to an uncle. His food kind of tastes terrible-” Keith snickered- “but he’s always there for me. Distracts me from being homesick and…stuff. He’s awesome.

“Shiro is my idol, and I’ve always looked up to him. He’s really nice, but also can take charge? I dunno. He’s our amazing leader. He keeps on disappearing, though. But that’s okay, ‘cause Keith’s always ready to step in and lead us.

“Keith’s my–our, our, best pilot and fighter. Perfect at everything. Great at hating me. I dunno. I guess we’re rivals, because I said we were, but I don’t want to put our relat–friendship into that position? I dunno. I mean, I don’t mind, but, I really really like him? In the…Never mind, sorry. He’s really smart, and he’s the reason Voltron is even active again, so…

"Then there’s me. Comic relief. I label myself as the sharpshooter, but nobody really cares. I don’t know. They didn’t even pay attention when I piloted Blue for the first time–just kinda called me out for my horrendous piloting. I…replaced Keith, as usual, the time Shiro disappeared. He’s always ahead of me, and whenever I catch up, he’s already another step forward.”

Keith gripped his newspaper harder. What did Lance mean by all of this?

He heard some alien with a clicky-accent speak next.

“Blue Paladin, you put all of these people on pedestals. Why?”

Lance coughed, then replied, “Well, uh…They’re important and deserve it. They all are kind of a clique and work together easily, but I just…don’t.”

The alien spoke again. “But did you not say they ignore you?”

Lance said, “I did, I guess, but they don’t…They don’t know they’re ignoring me, and that’s okay. Besides, I can only take so much attention, you know? Heh.”

“And…how much time do they pay attention to you?”

The blue-eyed boy sighed. “Maybe a few minutes, and that’s either if I’m flirting or being a mess-up in battle. Maybe an hour a day, tops.”

Keith shivered. Had they really ignored him that much?

“And you know, we’re teenagers fighting a war. I don’t expect them to kiss the ground I walk on…except I sure do still want it. I need constant validation and attention, if ya catch my drift. Haha! …Ha.” Lance then proceeded to cough for what was longer than normal, and it gave Keith a few moments to think.

Was Lance really suffering while they didn’t bat an eye at him? Did he have depression or something while they excluded him? Did–Did he mean to say relationship earlier instead of friendship?

Suddenly, Keith was coughing up his own mess with a tomato-red face.

He couldn’t take this anymore. He couldn’t just sit and listen.

So like Lance said, he stepped in.

“Lance,” he said, quiet but not wavering.

“–Uh, Keith! Ese! What ya doin’, man?” Lance stuttered out, whipping around and voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, but he needs to come with me. Come on, Lance, we need to go,” Keith commanded, grabbing Lance’s arm.

“I-uh–alright? Where are we going? Keith?” Lance hesitantly stepped up from his seat.

Keith did not respond, instead taking to rushing Lance out and into the nearest broom closet. As soon as he shoved Lance in, he looked him square in the face.

“Lance. What were you talking about?”

Lance fidgeted with Keith’s hands on his shoulders, and he sighed, saying, “I was just talking to a space therapist.” He looked up at Keith, then continued, “What does it matter to you?”

Keith could feel anger building up, but took a deep breath and said, “Lance…you know we care about you, right? At least, I care about you. I don’t know if I can convince you that the others feel the same way, but I know I can tell you that you’re my teammate and I’m just worried.”

Lance flushed. “Shit. I, uh, Keith, will you kiss me?”

Keith’s cheeks reddened and only took a second before moving his hands to pinning Lance on the wall and around his neck. It was slightly awkward due to the slight height difference between the two, but the kiss was sweet, chaste, and full of teeth. As soon as they parted, Lance was smiling like there was no tomorrow, and Keith could feel the smidgeon of a grin on his own face.

Once the team found them two hours later, they were curled up in each other’s arms, and stayed like that until they woke up back in the castle.

They didn’t know their places, but that was okay, as long as they had each other.

GOD that was rly rushed and im sorry this took so long to write ;0; im working on the others now!!!

  • Brother: you can't write a gay apocalypse
  • Me: I can and will
  • Brother: no you can't, cuz humanity can only go on with heterosexual couples to keep making babies
  • Me: but consider what that means brother
  • Me: you're suggesting all available males and females pair up to propagate the species
  • Me: but also consider that this is a calculated loveless decision to ensure the survival of the species
  • Me: humanity becomes no better than any other animal
  • Me: humanity is essentially dead
  • Me: along comes a cosmic being
  • Me: that doesn't care for lesser life forms and kills any he deems barbaric
  • Me: and he sees just one couple, one same sex couple
  • Me: and he thinks hm
  • Me: all of these people just having sex to fulfill a biological imperative like damn heathens
  • Me: but then there's this one couple...who are together why?
  • Me: I see no reason for their coupling and yet they seem attached to one another, how bizarre, how curious
  • Me: and then instead of rightfully wiping us all out as a primitive species, he decides to study us
  • Me: bam
  • Me: gays save the world
  • Me: love wins bitch
  • Brother: that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard
  • Me: not as stupid as every apocalypse needing a sufficiently hot female and sufficiently macho man to get together to keep the species alive when we all know that their babies would end up having incestuous relationships and essentially dooming us all to genetic deficiency

Stargate SG-1 meme: four quotes (4/4)

“The SGC may be the single most important human endeavor for the future of mankind.”  Jack O’Neill (quoting Daniel Jackson), Forever In a Day

Humans are born to live. From the moment you are thrown into the universe, you breathe, eat, drink, procreate. It is what we do as living organisms. But why would one procreate, let alone find a reason to stay alive, without something to stay alive for? Humans don’t stay alive for the sake of survival, but rather for the things that bring purpose; religion, art, music, love. In an endless oblivion of darkness and space, humans are the only species primitive enough to care. You must do what you love. The best things in life will always end in conflict, that is why humans are primitive. Fuck this planet, it is a piece of shit. Seriously, if I cannot return to space, I will snort coke until I die. 

Hear me out: Voltron time travel episode

Like, the team (or half the team) getting thrown waaaay back in time to the heyday of the previous Paladins.

Allura is like “Oh shoot, I was like six this year. I can’t be Allura right now.” And she disguises herself as “Romelle” (Allura’s cousin from the old series).

All the Altaen Paladins keep thinking the humans are Altaens who have had their ears shortened and they’re like “Omg who did this to you, you poor babies”. The Red Paladin is a little unfriendly, but the rest are very good natured and accept the cover story of “intergalactic refugees” pretty easily.

Pidge’s feet have barely touched the floor since they arrived. The Yellow Paladin (a young King Alfor) keeps carrying her on his shoulders and insisting that she meet his daughter Allura at some point.

Of course then Zarkon has to show up. Shiro’s panic attack is somewhat curtailed by the fact that Young Zarkon is nothing like the Zarkon he knows.
For one thing, he’s a huge nerd, making pop culture references that only the Retro Paladins understand, and giving nicknames to all the Lions.

“I am the Black Paladin, Zarkon! And this is my Lion, Boots. She is awful.”

Think Shiro with an almost Sokka sense of humor.

And the Paladins want to hate him. They know what he becomes, they know where it’s all going, but he’s so laid-back and friendly that they don’t know what to do.

It’s Hunk who has the uncomfortable realization that Young Zarkon is as much a Space Dad as Shiro is. Nobody really likes the idea. But then Zarkon does something utterly ridiculous while teasing the Green Paladin about their crush, and Shiro…laughs. He laughs like they haven’t seen in most of the time they’ve known him.
“Quiznak,” They think, “Now we really can’t hate him.”

Allura and Lance are both determined to change the past, to end Zarkon’s reign of terror before it begins. Hunk and Pidge are on the side of “You’ll create a paradox” and “You can’t change the past. We have to learn from it.”
Keith is more of the opinion that if they see things going south, they can always take Zarkon out before he gains too much power. The others are just a little freaked out by this, but Shiro reluctantly sides with Keith.

Eventually, Coran figures out how to get back to the future present day. Lance in an effort to be helpful, tells Zarkon before they leave, “Word to the wise: avoid Kerberos like the plague, dude.”

Zarkon and Alfor are like “O….kay…?” And agree that the refugees are odd birds.

But Zarkon remembers the name Kerberos. 10,000 years later he sends a patrol to the icy moon and discovers three primitive scientists, the same species as…something. He can’t quite remember, but they look familiar.



Solenodons (meaning “slotted-tooth”) are venomous, nocturnal, burrowing, insectivorous mammals belonging to the family Solenodontidae. Solenodontidae is interesting to phylogenetics researchers because of its retention of primitive mammal characteristics; their species resemble very closely those that lived near the end of the age of the dinosaurs. In 2016, solenodons were confirmed by genetic analysis as predating the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. The two living solenodon species are the Cuban solenodon (Solenodon cubanus), and the Hispaniolan solenodon (Solenodon paradoxus).

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Writing Aesthetics → Forest Witch

these witches are the most primitive of their species. having no books or accustomed spells, they rely solely on their instincts and adapt to their surroundings. they discover tonics and potions by experimentation of local herbs, and often have injuries because of so.

their specialty is shapeshifting into a variety of animals in order to survive and hunt. approach these beings with caution. they are prone to violence.


Captain’s log, stardate 2259.55. We’ve completed our survey of the newly discovered Class M planet designated Nibiru. Intelligent life was observed. The species is primitive; indications of early language and even religion were noted. I thought it wise to stay off the planet altogether lest we somehow interfere with their way of life. If there’s one word I would use to describe this mission, it would be “uneventful.”

alittlelesspain  asked:

General Danvers, Better Late Than Never, for the meme :D

As far as second chances went, Astra felt she’d gotten her fair share. A second chance to save a planet – which had also not gone according to plan. A second chance to choose her family over her devotion to saving said planets, and this time she’d chosen to fight with Kara instead of against.

This time, she would do right by her niece. A belief that had led to a whirlwind of joining the DEO on a trial basis, having all of her actions watched under a microscope, and being put on something called “preliminary house arrest” wherein she was placed in the custody of Alex Danvers. The sister of her niece, who has intrigued Astra since the first moment they met.

A woman who also happens to be her soulbond, despite the fact that she doesn’t appear to know it, given that humans are so primitive a species, they have yet to evolve to have soulbond indicators. It’s all quite exasperating, really, but Astra has always been a quick study; surely she can learn how to court Alex in the manner of humans.

Alex, meanwhile, just wants to know why the hell she’s found a stack of romance novels hidden in the hall closet.

Send me a title and a pairing and I will give you the summary of a fic I will never write.

“being trans/nonbinary/gay/bi/ace/etc isn’t Natural!”
my dude neither are cars or houses or clothing or smartphones or wearing fucking glasses or most of our life-saving medical procedures or preparing food instead of just eating it raw
humans are not some primitive species. we don’t typically do what’s natural and we haven’t for thousands of years; if we did we certainly wouldn’t be where we are today.
respect people’s identities and get over it


Please don’t try to read that wall of text in panel 2. What it says is right here:

When the imperial drone comes knocking, a troll must grab their matesprit and kismesis, or at least two trolls willing to claim to be their matesprit and kismesis, and expel miracidia into buckets with them. Said miracidia then form into a sporocist in each bucket. The sporocysts are fed to mothergrubs, wherupon they metamorph into rediae and travel to the mother grub’s gonads. Once there, they hijack them and start producing sperm and eggs, which find their way to the uterus where the sperm fertilizes the eggs. The mother grub then lays eggs, which hatch into cercariae, or troll grubs, which mature into trolls.

Troll sexes are not sexes as they exist on this planet, but the remnants of an insect-like caste system primitive troll-related species had. Given that the only reason a species would evolve sapience in the first place is that the world they live in is so chaotic that having a brain so biochemically-expensive that it requires a quarter of your entire caloric intake to sustain is evolutionarily justifiable, it’s something that just doesn’t mix with complex systems of highly specialized castes, so troll ancestors swiftly evolved towards having two semi-specialized castes, the sexes, instead.

In paleolithic troll society, troll females were the hunters, thus their lithe, leggy bodies (built for speed) with low centers of gravity (built for fighting) and the fact that the infrared sensory organs on their chests are on the ends of fatty protrusions. They also have a cavity between their legs wherein they stored sporocists until such time as they found wild ancestors of the mother grubs and tricked them into eating them, as buckets obviously haven’t been invented yet. Male trolls were the gatherers and the defenders of the nest, hence having a stockier build so that they could carry more fruit and shit. Between their legs, they have an ovipositor which allows them to insert their miracidia into female trolls’ storage cavity in front of a pair of organs that send out a psychic beacon that allowed newborn grubs to home in on their tribe.

These days mother grubs are domesticated, the whole process is automated to the point of a dreaded routine, and members of a large number of domesticated species serve the roll of lusus, of course, but I thought knowing where it all came from would be neat.

It’s basically an updated version of this theory. I decided that one bucket being for matespritship and one being for kismesitude is less a biological necessity and more societal norms and folk wisdom and that the real reason you need a kismesis and a matesprit is that an imperial drone has two arms. Of course, this can just be retconned (headretconned?) as Dad being misinformed or cynical and something like the original explanation for why that was necessary reinstated. :P

Eternal Shota: Kurvesa

Artwork done by: @xxmercurial-darknessxx

Here’s the latest Eternal Shota character drawn up by xxmercurial-darknessxx

A member of the Interplanetary Relations Bureau of the Galactic Federation, Agent Kurvesa Halxene takes it upon herself to monitor the Forgy’s activities, serving a duty somewhere between CIA Agent and Beleaguered Bureaucrat from the U.S. State Department, and hoping to make sure that the Forgy’s maverick activities don’t cause a disastrous Mass First Contact scenario with any new species they encounter - especially one particularly primitive species starting with “H” and ending with “Uman.”

As a member of the Preh'n species, Kurvesa possesses 13 prehensile appendages - 4 hands, 2 prehensile feet, a highly flexible tail with small thumb-like muscular hydrostats at the end, 5 more large hydrostats/tentacles on her scalp, and a prehensile tongue.

★  // Unicronian Society Crash Course  (part 1)

“This is a basic comprehension for the universe’s enlightenment of 
our culture and break down some of those stereotypes we live in. Hopefully.”
 - Bornsteller, Author of this codex                                                                        

Hierarchy -

Above all else, Unicron is the center of the unicronian world - both literally and figuratively. He is the de-facto leader, father, god (if one feels dramatic enough). None hold more influence or power over him. Below are the specially created Spawns*: born from Unicron himself, they are next in the line of power and often relay Unicron’s will to other followers. Underneath are Heralds*, who were drafted or sought out Unicron and successfully incorporated dark energon into their systems, making them deadly opponents on the battlefield. Below are lesser servants who have yet to be initiated and below that, slaves, test subjects and primitive species groomed to be unicron’s attack dogs. 

*Spawns and Heralds are two separate things.  A Spawn can be a Herald, but a Herald cannot be a Spawn

Power Struggle -

Many believe unicronians are more or less constantly creating chaos and fighting the rest of the universe. The fact of the matter is there is way more infighting between themselves than against other species. The fight for dominance among heralds, spawn and other followers is dark, bloody and overall a nasty thing to get caught up in. Often the results end up with a unicronian being devoured by another. Yes cannibalism is common among Unicron’s followers but for the most part, it is restricted between themselves and not outsiders. (power obtained from eating a spawn is beneficial. eating a random, pure energon cybertronian, is not)

Rules -

Here are a small glimpse of unicronian’s strict rules when being part of his society. Yes even “mindless monsters” like them have some standards…

(**roughly translated from unicronian dialect)
i. Unicron is lord and master. There must always be ‘Unicron’
ii. Do not deviate outside your station.
iii. Relations with Primes and other Primus-centered creatures is PROHIBITED
iv. Love is a weakness frowned upon but must be given. Not forced.

 Till all are undone

biomechanicalmush  asked:

I think now would be an excellent time to talk a little about gigantopithecus. That darn big ape.

Several weeks ago, the live-action remake of Disney’s The Jungle Book was released in theaters - and with it, the remake of King Louie, a character not present in the original stories, invented for the animated film.  The original King Louie was an orangutan, but orangutans don’t live in India, so the remake recast him as a late-surviving Gigantopithecus (voiced by no less than Christopher Walken).

Walken’s portrayal of King Louie was one of the best parts of the movie - equal parts hilarious and terrifying.  But what was the real Gigantopithecus like?

(Image source)

Gigantopithecus was the largest species of ape that ever lived.  It’s believed to have stood ten feet tall and weighed over 1,000 pounds.  I say “believed” because it’s known only from jaws and teeth; no other remains of Gigantopithecus have yet been found.  Based on the structure of its jaws, as well as the fact that it lived in Southeast Asia, it’s believed to have been related to orangutans, but its massive size and ground-dwelling lifestyle were more similar to gorillas.  As a result, it’s usually reconstructed as a sort of “mix” of the two animals.

Gigantopithecus’s jawbones are notable for widening in the back, more like human jawbones than those of apes.  The human jawbone widens in order to accommodate the windpipe and allow the skull to sit atop a vertical spinal column.  Some scientists have claimed that this implies bipedalism in Gigantopithecus.  However, a bipedal posture would have put massive stress on the animal’s hind legs, and a quadrupedal posture would have allowed its weight to be more evenly distributed.  (This doesn’t preclude Gigantopithecus from having been able to stand up for short periods, however.)

(Image by Julio Lacerda)

Gigantopithecus lived in Southeast Asia from 9 million to 100,000 years ago, making it a contemporary of several hominid species and primitive humans.  It was possibly hunted by Homo erectus, which lived in the same areas as it did.  Some cryptozoologists have claimed that human run-ins with Gigantopithecus are the basis of the Bigfoot legend, or even that Gigantopithecus survives today and is responsible for Bigfoot sightings.  Needless to say, this is probably not true; Gigantopithecus is fairly definitively extinct.

The cause of its demise is believed to have been the decline of forests and the expansion of grasslands during the Pleistocene period.  Gigantopithecus was a fruit and nut-eater, unable to survive on grass, and it died out when its food sources were depleted.

Humans are born to live. From the moment you are thrown into the universe, you breathe, eat, drink, procreate. It is what we do as living organisms. But why would one procreate, let alone find a reason to stay alive without something to stay alive for? Humans don’t stay alive for the sake of survival, but rather for the sake of things that bring purpose; religion, art, music, love. In an endless oblivion of darkness and space, humans are the only species primitive enough to care. You must do what you love. The best things in life will always end in conflict, that is why humans are primitive. Fuck this planet.
—  E.T in E.T. 2 by Filthy Frank
Alien Binary Genders/Sex

I had a post pop up on my dash recently lamenting the fact that aliens in a certain video game all conformed to the familiar human male/female arrangement, arguing that it is unlikely that such an arrangement would evolve on a completely different planet. Well, I don’t think it’s that unlikely to have the coevolution of ova and sperm, thus being able to define male and female, however the phenotypes are less likely to be the classic male and female that we recognize as mainstream human.

I will also tend to refer to male and female as sexes rather than gender, as I am talking about genetic and phenotypic differences and not how these species identify or perceive themselves in a society.

Please note I am making the following assumptions about these hypothetical, fictional, alien species.

  •  We are talking about physical beings made of molecules, no energy or light based aliens.
  • These aliens are also made of an arrangement of cells
  • These aliens have some method of genetic information storage, whether it be DNA or an alternative molecule that can replicate and be transmitted, thus allowing evolution to occur. Non-evolved species (eg those artificially created) may completely lack any method of genetic transfer and thus have no need for any sexes.
  • I refer to many of these hypothetical alien species as ‘animals’, meaning they are multi-cellular heterotrophs (they have to eat something for nutrition) and generally ambulatory, it is not a generalization about appearance or sentience.

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