priest story

  • *in a cab; on the way to the christening*
  • Molly: *happily* Oh isn't this exciting? I bet she looks lovely. And John and Mary are wonderful parents...
  • Sherlock: *on his phone* Mmm.
  • Molly: *sighs* Oh, her name is just beautiful *giggles* I always wanted to name my daughter Persephone.
  • Sherlock: *glances at her*
  • Molly: *rolls her eyes* Hey, I was eleven at the time and really into all that mythology stuff.
  • Sherlock: *still typing* There are worse names for a child than Persephone Holmes.
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly: *raises an eyebrow* Why would it be Holmes?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* I always assumed you'd take your husband's name.
  • Molly: *scoffs* Yeah, well, I'm not going to marry Mycroft!
  • Sherlock: *confused* We've been sleeping together and you think-
  • Molly: *giggles* No, I mean, I just thought you weren't the marrying kind.
  • Sherlock: *sighs* Sex, Molly. I don't do that with just anyone.
  • Molly: *raises an eyebrow* You love me?
  • Sherlock: Obviously.
  • Molly: *smirks* I'm sorry? I didn't catch that.
  • Sherlock: *smiles* I love you.
  • Molly: *takes his hand* I love you too.
  • Sherlock: *coughs* So you'll...marry me, then?
  • Molly: *kisses his cheek* Of course I will.

Space chess?

You’d be forgiven for thinking that some giants had set up this flatter space in the Selkirk Hills of northern Idaho for some complex game and removed the pieces after finishing their match. What we’re seeing is an area of agricultural forest divided into 400 metre squares, with some areas harvested and covered by a recent snowfall while the rest reveal the dark green crowns of trees of dense forests. The nearby Priest River was once used to carry logs, but is now protected from development, with a status officially entitledn as a “wild and scenic river”.

Loz

Image credit: NASA

[Above] is a character sheet for a comix story I wrote in 1978. The script, if there was one, is long gone. It was a spoof of a hard-boiled detective story, ala Chandler or Spillane, and all the characters were based on my friends.

The character here that really pops out, of course, is “Father Dahmer,” the neighborhood priest! I discovered this long-forgotten piece in a box of high school drawings stashed under my mother’s basement stairs, as I was engaged in the herculean task of cleaning out her basement of 50 years of accumulation. I thought I had uncovered all my Dahmer artifacts years earlier, but here was a trove of drawings and memorabilia. Like all these discoveries, chills ran up and down my spine as I looked through this stuff.
When I saw this drawing, I burst out laughing in disbelief. Father Dahmer???? Good gawd. It was just a goofball riff when I drew it, but now it was creepy and surreal. Keep in mind, this is likely drawn from life, too. I’m sure I was staring at him as I drew his face.

-Derf Backderf’s My Friend Dahmer Blog

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on private vs public adoption agencies? I've been looking for jobs and have been thinking about working in adoption. Private agencies pay better obviously lol

(This is going to be my LEAST popular post) When I first started actually looking into adoption I was looking at all the wrong places. I was looking at adoption agencies, mainly private ones. I was reading stores about how families that had adopted babies or children, how happy and wonderful their lives were to have children because they were infertile or just because they felt called to adopt. I had heard all these wonderful stories from adopted children, how much they loved their parents who adopted them and how grateful they were to have families. It seemed like the perfect, most pure and good thing to do was adopt, especially as a prolife person, some unwanted baby who had escaped the possibility of abortion by people like me who wanted that baby.

A couple years ago I was scrolling on Facebook in my favorite Facebook group, a Catholic Homeschooling group. It was such a good place to go for comfort and prayers, from the daily struggle of being a Catholic Mother and Wife. I felt the urge to pray for some of these women who I considered my friends, and I came across a photo of a beautiful newborn baby with beautiful black skin and thick black hair over his little head, laying in the hospital bed just so tiny. “PRAYER REQUEST” it read. The first few sentences was about the babies health problems, as he was a few weeks premature, but the writer assured us that he would make it, being the strong little guy he is. She gave us a little background, how badly she had been wanting this baby for so long, she had children herself, but had always felt called to adopt. “Over 30,000” she began to explain, she spent on adoption fees and hospital costs! On and on she went. Then came the real prayer request. The biological mother and father wanted to keep the baby. After all this money she spent, after months of preparing the nursery, “he’s already mine” she yelled into the screen and into the many hearts of mothers reading who gasped at the idea of someone tearing their infant from their arms! The post went on about the biological mother and father, who clearly were “unfit” do to their age and financial instability.

“They aren’t able to take care of the baby, the world doesn’t need more thugs and drug addicts, the baby is already yours I will pray immediately that the laws are in your favor have faith!!!” That was the general voice of the over 300 women in the comments. Every single one of them busted out their rosaries and prayed with their whole hearts that this baby would be delivered into the arms of the adopted mother who so clearly loved this baby more than the biological parents, after all, she was the one that paid the hospital fees, the adoption costs, “Tell her she will have to pay back all the fees! That will make her change her mind! She just wants to use the baby to live off the government!!!” More and more similar comments came in.

I sat down myself, saddened by the situation and started to pray. At first I also began to pray that the adopted mother would win the child, but something didn’t feel right.

At what point does someone have the right to take an infant from the arms of their mother? After they have paid 30,000 dollars? After they have had the lawyers for their private adoption agency protect the adopted mother by packet of papers with laws and signatures? After finding out that the biological mother was a poor scared young woman? Who deserves their own child then? By most those terms certainly not me.

For a while I thought this situation was rare. I thought generally most women who gave up their infants were happy, or even grateful their children were adopted by warm wealthy families. I was wrong.

I started researching birth mothers, I listened to their stories, their stories of immense regret, loss, pain that only a woman who’s infant was living but not in her arms could feel. As a mother myself, I can’t even fathom the pain. I mean that from the very moment I hold my child, the bond is something you simply cannot understand unless you are a mother yourself.

See, in government ran agencies there are no lawyers. The primary concern is the best interest of the child, which professionals, psychologists, even our Catholic theology all agree over and over the best interest of the child is it’s biological parents, second choice being other blood relatives. I won’t go into detail on this, you’re welcome to research yourself.

If it was up to me, private adoption agencies would be illegal. That’s right. Illegal. In order for their doors to stay open, they need to make money. Their best interest is NOT for the child, although they may tell themselves that they are doing God’s work by “rescuing” the infant from the arms of a poor teen mom and into the arms of wealthy infertile parents. The fact is, the concern is not for the infant, the mother, or anyone. It’s for the paying customer, and the financial gain for the doors to stay wide open. Most of them with the loving intention of saving babies from abortion, completing families with infertile parents. Women (birth mothers) come to these agencies scared out of their minds, they don’t want an abortion, and they honestly believe (thanks to society) that an unwed mother, a teen, a poor woman, is undeserving of her own child. They go to these agencies and are are coerced. Lawyers work for these companies and are paid big money to work on behalf of the adoption company and the client-the adoption parents. The birth mother has absolutely zero protection herself. These businesses profit by taking children from the wombs scared hopeless young birthmothers and into the arms of paying customers. There is no turning back, once the money is paid, the baby is no longer belongs to the birth mother. At this point she is reduced to as the prochoice people say “an incubator”. We can deny it all you want, but in this business, is she anything else?

Did you know that government agencies almost never have infants available up for adoption? Do you know why? Because they aren’t making any profit adopting children out. They are working for the best interest of the birth parents and the child. Mothers are directed to help, and get the help they need to keep their children, or a biological family member is able to care for the child, because that’s the best interest of the child. The mother is also legally able to have her child returned to her, as long as she is not an addict, or has ever been charged with child abuse. In private adoption, this is absolutely never an option, unless of course the lawyers didn’t cover the company and the adoption parents well enough.

Slowly I began to uncover the real face of most infant-relinquishing adoptions, children desperate to know who they really are, forbidden by laws or their adopted parents to find the mother and father that they were created by to be loved and cared for them. Forbidden to have relationships with their birth parents. Then you see the birth mothers, who morn the loss of their child who’s still alive for the rest of their lives, shamed, guilty, hopeless. Look up their blogs. Read their stories, face their pain.

The worst part is, because this has a lot to do with religious, particularly Christian and prolife groups, we turn our cheeks and close our eyes to the pain. We tell ourselves that it isn’t our problem and we’ve done our part. I don’t believe that, and I’ll stand on whatever side against what is the best interest of both the mother/father and the child. I’ll never choose one or the other. And never on the side of profit, especially profit off human beings.

There was a story my priest told me about the importance in our Catholic faith about the relationship between a mother and child, being as were Catholics and we don’t dismiss the importance of Mary in the life of Christ like other Christians might. He said in Yakima there were many Latino immigrants who were there illegally, and were being deported. The problem is, the children they had, one in particular only days old, were legal citizens of the United States. In situations like this the children are actually forced to remain in the Untied States as citizens. The Bishop of Yakima, stepped in, firmly planted in the truth that a child should never be separated for a mother. The children were then able to be processed, released, and returned to the parents.

If we look at Mother Mary, a teen, unmarried (betrothed, but unmarried), she would probably be deemed an “unfit” mother by our society. We gasp in horror when prochoice people say heinous things about Mary aborting Christ, but we would support Christ being raised by any other woman than the Mother of Christ?

Why are we okay with signs at clinics where scared women go to have abortions that read, “don’t kill your baby we want it!” Why are we so obsessed with “choose adoption!!!”

Where is the rally for the “alternative” true and holy nature of keeping a mother with her children? Why is adoption seen as the solution to abortion? There are programs in place to help these women, in our country how is it possible that a woman is so scared she feels the need to abort or give away for her child? How is this still a normal mentality? Because both prolife and prochoice people feed the fear. Neither of us apparently has any faith or respect for the nature of human beings. We have those who are prochoice who stand solely on the side of the mother, and those who are prolife who stand solely on the side of the baby, but who protects the family? Isn’t that the divine nature, the most important structure of our entire society? Unfortunately even pregnancy crisis centers are required to educate mothers who have already chosen to keep and raise their baby, on the topic of adoption and how much better it is for their baby, before giving any sort of services.

So, is there a need for adoption? Yes there is. There is a need for adoption because although God has designed us to be raised by our mother and father there are still evil and sin in this world. Sin that abuses children, causes parents to become sick with addictions, and creating broken family and children who have not a single blood family member to turn too. This is where the need is, not in the wombs of scared women or young mothers.

Now, we can tell ourselves, as prolife or proadoption people, that “we’ve never done that!!” Or “I’ve never strictly advocated for a woman to adopt without pointing her to help as well!” But honestly that isn’t good enough to wash our hands free of guilt. If we aren’t actively seeking and speaking out about stuff like this, we feed the same mentality that feeds abortion. That an unwed, poor, scared, mother is unworthy of her own child. I see hundreds of prolife people state that “we need less adoption laws to make adoption easier!!” Easier for who? Adopted parents? Through the state adoption IS easy, for parents who are qualified based on the best interest for the child. It’s also little to no COST. Yep. You heard that right. What’s easier than that?

Since I’m not a birth parent, I would like if we could all actually read what the birth parents have to say about adoption.

Here’s a pamphlet created by birth parents on how adoption has affected them. In order for a woman to properly and willfully choose adoption as a choice for her, she needs to know these facts, she needs to hear the good and the bad in order to make an informed decision. I beg all people especially prolife people, to read the pamphlet and inform yourselves please! If we want to really protect woman and children we need to protect the family!

(Sorry for any grammar, spelling mistakes)

http://www.cubirthparents.org/docs/39%20What%20You%20Should%20Know%20if%20Youre%20Considering%20Adoption.pdf

Igbo Water Divinities

River gods and goddesses are found wherever a significant river or waterbody is found in Igboland, some of the more powerful cults cover larger areas and command more respect and followers by the importance of the waterbodies. Often of fluid gender, the water spirits are powerful ‘images’ of sexuality, fertility, beauty, and wealth and power. The most powerful water spirits are listed.

[Map of major rivers linked to divinities within Igboland]

Ńjābá

Ńjābá is so powerful among southern and specifically southwestern Igbo communities that he outranks Àlà, the Earth Mother, in these communities. Ńjābá is usually male and is the guardian of the river of the same name that is a major tributary of Ụ́gwụ́tá (Oguta) Lake in Imo State, Nigeria. Éké, the royal python, is sacred to Ńjābá and surrounding communities consider them messengers and manifestations of Ńjābá and somewhat of a totem animal of which it is forbidden to harm or eat; serious fines and the responsibility of funding a human-sized burial for the snakes befalls anyone who harms pythons. [Interview about Ńjābá+]


Ímò Ḿmírí

Ímò Ḿmírí is the spirit of the Imo River [pictured] which runs between present day Imo State (which is named after the river) and Abia State and runs into the Atlantic between a section of Rivers State and Akwa Ibom State in Nigeria. She is usually feminine and was associated with the  Ibinukpabi oracle or “Long Juju” of Arochukwu, the most powerful oracle in southeastern Nigeria during the Atlantic Slave Trade, and she is considered as its female counterpart. Ímò Ḿmírí is a largely benevolent fertility spirit. In myth, the Imo is the river that rushed between the Ngwa people of Abia State and their relatives in Imo State creating a permanent cut-off between them. [More+]


Óshìmírí

Also: Ósìmírí / Órìmílí / Órìmírí / Ósìmílí - the female spirit of the Niger River which is named after her in Igbo. As is usual to feminine water spirits she is a fertility goddess. Èzù nà Ómáḿbálá, the confluence of the Anambra and Niger Rivers, is the site where Èrì’s band, the primogenitor of the Umuleri and Umunri Igbo people, migrated from the north to and settled.


Ìdèmílí

Ìdèmílí is the female spirit of the river of the same name that runs through the local government area of the same name in Anambra State, Nigeria. Ìdèmílí means ‘the pillar of waters’ referring to the spiritual force of the water spirit preventing rain-clouds in the sky from falling [ídè also means flood, and water spirit forces are known to punish through floods or other sorts of water-logging]. Like most water spirits Ìdèmílí is a fertility goddess. Éké, royal pythons, are also sacred to Ìdèmílí and to communities that depend on her and are also known as Éké Ìdèmílí. Ìdèmílí’s story also involves appearing to mortals as a maiden. [The Ìdèmílí story+] [Priest of the Ìdèmílí shrine+]


Ụ̀háḿmírí 

Also: Ụ̀hámírí - The ambivalent feminine spirit of Ụ́gwụ́tá Lake of which she owns, she is paired with Ńjābá and she is also known as Ògbúìdè meaning ‘deep floodwater’ and her husband is Okita. Ụ̀háḿmírí roughly translates from Igbo as ‘the shining beauty of the waters’; Ụ̀háḿmírí is beautiful and wealthy and happy and childless. She is a powerful spirit among women in Ụ́gwụ́tá and is considered as somewhat of a spirit of achievement among women; successful women in Ụ́gwụ́tá especially were said to mostly be devotees of Ụ̀háḿmírí.


Ụ́ràshị̀

Also: Ụ́làsị̀ / Ụ́ràsị̀ - The spirit of the Ụ́ràshị̀ (Orashi) River which runs through Imo State and Rivers State. A male, Ụ́ràshị̀’s sacred grove, like Ògbúìdè’s, was marked primarily by the red and white pieces of cloth.


Ọ́máḿbárá

Also: Ọ́máḿbálá - The spirit of the Ọ́máḿbárá (Anambra) River which runs through northern Anambra State in Anam-Igbo land and then into the Niger River.


Ọ̀tá Ḿmírí

Of the Ọ̀tá Ḿmírí (Otamiri) River which runs through Imo State and particularly Ụ́ràtà-Igbo communities where the Ḿbárí votive shrines are dedicated to his mother, Àlà the Earth Mother, and where he plays a significant role.

Forgive me Father - Priest!Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Forgive me Father

Pairing: Priest!Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: About 5,750 

Warnings: Angst, Breaking of Vows, Priest!Dean (that says a lot), implied smut, heated moments

Prompt: Reader is the daughter of a preacher herself but she finds herself unable to stop all those sinful thoughts when she meets the newest priest in town. And it all gets so much worse when it turns into love. Will it be the kind of love that will destroy her or not? 

Your eyes were shut as your hands were clasped in front of you. Your lips were in a tight line as you willed yourself so hard to focus, to not think about anything else, only because you wanted to mean this forgiveness you were asking. As if you would ever get it with all those thoughts and feelings you had for him.

Him. Father Dean Winchester.

And the mere word that you had to call him with made these feelings wrong on every level. Back then when your mother talked to you about meeting your true love you thought that it would be an amazing feeling. The skipping heartbeats, the sweaty palms and the stuttering would be only a few of the traits. And the moment you locked eyes, it sounded cheesy, it would feel like the word had stopped spinning. But with you there was one more thing. It felt like your word had comecrumbling down the moment you locked eyes with his.

You had always thought that when it came to true love that you would feel amazing and not like… this. Plagued by guilt, oh so much guilt, for feeling the way you did for him and utter fear of what could come out of that. Because you were scared beyond belief, not so much at the feelings but… at who the person you felt so for was. Especially when you knew you shouldn’t see him in that way. And the fear mixed with the guilt and it all came rushing to you and you felt so overwhelmed that the only thing you wanted to do was cry all day and night, not that you partially weren’t already, for feeling the way you did. You wanted to plead for forgiveness but other than doubting anybody was listening you knew you didn’t deserve it.

“Don’t try to pressure yourself.” a soothing yet rough voice broke the silence and you opened your eyes, turning your head to look at who it was. Not that you would expect anybody else at this time and when the church was actually empty.

Keep reading

Babysitting Jobs

Word count: 919
Pairing: Uncle!Crowley/Child!Reader
Warnings: none?
Note: I just have all these feels and don’t know what to do with them
Tags: @aaron–hotchner
Idk if you even like Crowley but this was the fluff I spoke of.

The king of Hell walks into a church.
Sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it? But here he was, babysitting the brat Moose and Squirrel call their sister. Though only ten, the child was an absolute horror. She was polite, compassionate, and downright adorable.
It disgusted him.
But, much as he was disgusted, he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for her. The way she discouraged traps, the names she gave his dogs (“Her name is Anna, cause she’s just as mean.”). Once, when she was seven, she asked for information from his demon, and ever so nicely added a ‘please’ at the end of the sentence. When he refused to give it to her, she toddled off to find someone who would, rather than hurting the black-eyed boy.
At the moment, he was seated next to her at Christmas mass. She was watching with shining eyes as the priest explained the story of Jesus. The man could’ve fallen asleep because of how boring it was.
The only reason he was even here was because those two idiots she called brothers and their little angel friend forgot to take her with them. They begged him to watch her until they got back later that evening, and he could do nothing but agree. And of course the brat wanted to go to church!
“Uncle Cas says God always likes to see his children there!” She explained.
The little old lady next to him seemed to be staring him down; her gaze constantly switched between the two of them, as if she was questioning his guardian skills. Kids weren’t much different than dogs, right?
That evening, he took her home draped over his shoulder. She had fallen asleep mid-mass. No doubt it was way past her bedtime, anyways. It was a shame, really. She had been all dressed up in her child-sized red dress and shoes.
“It’s cause they match your eyes!” She said, squishing his cheeks a bit.
He was hardly amused when the boys returned, covered in blood and sweat. This was no place to raise a child, even Hell would be better for her! And that’s exactly what he told them.
“She should not have to grow up with so much pressure!” He seethed, shoving Dean backwards.

“Oh? And what do you suggest? Hell would hardly be better!” The man yelled back. The group didn’t notice little tear filled eyes watching from the stairs. (Y/n) listened to them fight about her care until Crowley flashed himself out. She tucked herself back into bed, said a prayer, and drifted into a nightmare filled sleep, something about a man in a cage?
In the end, she stayed with the boys. Crowley was in no way related to her, had no leverage over the boys. He couldn’t technically take her, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t babysit now and again.
Today happened to be one of those days.

“Tell me, Peabody,” Crowley said, taking a sip from his tiny plastic tea cup. “Have you been getting enough sleep? You look tired.” She hadn’t. The nightmares had gotten worse and she was almost afraid to sleep now. Dark bags, the kind that shouldn’t be found on any ten year old, had formed under her droopy eyes.

“Mhm.” She hummed. There was no reason to worry her favorite uncle, was there? The door to the bunker opened and closed, alerting the king that her guardians were back. He ruffled her hair, said goodbye, and flashed out. The minute he was gone, (Y/n) laid her head on the table, ready for a short nap.


“What in God’s name did you two do?” Crowley snarled. (Y/n) was currently leaning against him, sobbing her heart out. It had to be their fault, obviously! What else could make her cry like this?

“Nothing! She woke up and wanted you, that’s all we know.” Sam insisted. Crowley muttered something about ‘being more of a Peabody than a moose’ and continued to comfort her, urging her to reveal the problem.

“Come now, Peabody, what’s got you so down? Nothing we can’t fix, yes?”

“Make him s-stop!” She cried. Were you talking about him? “He h-hurt Sam! Put him back, make h-him stop!”

“Put who back?” Crowley inquired. But the boys had a good idea of what she meant, and they were not at all shocked by what she said next.

“The m-man with the w-hite wings.” Handing you over to Dean, Crowley stood. A scowl adorned his face, as did bright red eyes. Someone would die tonight, and though it wouldn’t be Lucifer, they had a feeling he would get what was coming for messing with Crowley’s favorite Winchester.
Under the agreement that he got to speak with Sam and Dean, Lucifer stopped his tormenting. How he could even reach (Y/n) from the cage was a mystery. But she was sleeping easy and had no clue that those dreams had happened in real life, that was what mattered.
And that brings us right back to…
“But I want to see the puppies!” (Y/n) pouted angrily. Crowley stood behind her with an amused smirk.

“Hellhounds. They’re fucking hellhounds! You can’t even see them unless you’re a demon!” Dean replied. There was a long pause before she turned to look up at Crowley.

“Uncle Crowley, can I have my birthday wish early?”

“You are not wishing to be a demon!” Sam screeched. Ah, the joys of childhood.

*priest in high school* “Let me tell you a story. Once there was a callous rich man. He did evil crap all his life. But he kept saying: ‘It’s fine. I will repent on my death bed and I’ll go to Heaven.’ So he’s dying. He calls for the priest. And the priest gets out of the car and runs to the house. But the house keeps getting farther and farther away. It’s rather strange. He keeps running towards it. But it does nothing. The priest exhausts himself and eventually gives up. The callous rich man dies, unsaved.”

*Me* “Man, my school priest does better horror stories than Stephen frigging King.” 

After decades of political manoeuvring, potent occult workings and social manipulation, you are finally ascending to the invisible clergy! Except you miss and instead ascended to the visible clergy. 
You don’t find giving sermons and hearing confessions quite as fulfilling as godlike powers, but you have one hell of a “how I became a priest” story.

Wanna know my favourite kiss in all of TV history?

It’s this kiss

It’s the most adorable kiss. And the context only makes it cuter.

anonymous asked:

Would you mind sharing your vocation story? God bless

Simple…without getting too personal

I was a horrible sinner. 
Then when I was 15 God called me the first time.
I came and followed him in the Protestant Tradition (heretical tradition, Calvinism, Jansenism, Arianism, universalism….so many crappy theologies I believed)
I fell away when I was 18 to modernism, feminism, lgbt rights, liberalism, relativism, and existentialism for 3 years—-the college years….anyone surprised? State education.

Then when I was 22 God called me again, This time to Catholicism.
It was a big shock, big change, and it didn’t happen all at once.
I had to go through purgatory.
Depression, anxiety, a rebirth of consciousness.

At 23 I entered into full communion with the Catholic Church. I am 24 now.
Since 15 I knew I was the Lord’s. For 3 years (and my youth) 0-18 I practiced chastity and obedience.
I always knew I was kept for this purpose: to be a handmaid of the Lord. To be used for him…body and soul. I am his vessel. He can use me as He likes. He is God, everything belongs to him and will go back to him, and will be glorified and give Him the glory.
I am submitting to His will and the will of the Church and it’s Pope.
Amen.

If any of this resonated with anyone…you might have a vocation! Do not be afraid. Discern it. Explore it. God doesn’t just want the “chaste virgins”—-he wants people, and He will use you if you surrender to Him. 

Amen. Pray for Priests and religious! 

2

First of hi tumblr. Let me explain whats going on here. So for my final in my Concept Art class I had to do a book cover and a scene from the book. So i chose Ghost Story by Avoidingavodance because i am trash and i really love that story so very much.

Oh yeah and Zoe-bug made it so much better with a podfic. God i srsly cant stress how much these two mean to me djhvihvfbvjoij .///. <3

Link: Ghost Story

Link: Ghost Story Podfic

shit that teachers have said, the starter edition.

ft. things that came out of the mouths of my own college professors or the professors of other friends part 1 of god knows how many, because college profs are hilarious


❛ you don’t get to talk about books you haven’t read. that makes you, what’s the word I’m looking for - a jackass. ❜
❛ where are my two wastrels? ❜
❛ poetry scares me, i do not understand it. ❜
❛ i’m gonna have to separate you. & by separate, i mean throw one of you out the window. ❜
❛ you want to write novels? welcome to the dark side. ❜ 
❛ well, we didn’t have a class about _____ when i was in college, so we all just had to flounder about. ❜ 
❛ ___, that’s your name, right? well, it’s your name now. ❜ 
❛ listen, teachers really like it when students come to visit in office hours, we get lonely, too. ❜
❛ as you can see, researchers have some questionable methods. ❜ 
❛ when you get high, a lot of things can happen. you could be tired, you could be disoriented, you could lose your pants, you know. ❜ 
❛ why is that experiment even in this book? it was terrible. ❜ 
❛ oh good, you’re my favorite! ❜
❛ i was wondering when you’d say a swear word, thank god you’re a normal person. ❜
❛ well, fuck that, your parents don’t run your life. ❜
❛ degrees of freedom, huh…. you know, that would be a really good novel title, but at the same time it’s so biomechanic-y….. ❜    
❛ 30% won’t answer, those are the dicks. ❜
❛ they switched everything over to online systems; they didn’t account for old people. ❜ 
❛ so, we have a teacher’s assistant to do all the things i can’t figure out. like powerpoints. ❜ 
❛ this projector’s broken, so either we end the class here, or we all suffer. ❜
❛ it’s the circle of life, i’ll hold up simba ❜
❛ i feel like i’m in jail looking at this resume ❜ 
❛ that symbol is a telephone that doesn’t exist anymore ❜
❛ don’t do the whale dance when it comes to job applications. ❜
❛ any time I hear violins & french horns in the background, it’s too much. ❜
❛ good luck to the person who teaches in here after this. it’s me. ❜
❛ check, brilliant, i don’t know what you’re talking about. ❜
❛ suddenly i’m with a burrito-making priest. ❜
❛ look, the long story short, his hobbies were self destructive behavior & sinning. ❜ 
❛ it was great, in a “i’ll never get those two hours back” kind of way. ❜
❛ i don’t want to be in the same room with that sentence. ❜


dungeons, priest pov
  • priest: so guys I'm gonna pop some cha-
  • party: *already halfway in*
  • priest: ...
  • priest: okay no charms then
  • priest: now can you wait so I can at least BUFF you?
  • one party member: *stays behind and gets one of the buffs*
  • priest:
  • party: *killing mobs*
  • party: *goes for the boss and locks the priest out*
  • party: *blames the priest for being a noob because everyone dies at the boss they ran ahead too instead of waiting*
  • priest:
  • priest:
  • priest:
  • priest:
  • party: fucking noob priest
  • priest: are you... are you serious

Everyone should watch Pure Genius, because the main dude is a geek and genius with some sort of autistic traits who for once wears suits and has chub instead of muscles (because literally every genius on TV is jacked???) There’s a technician who’s smart as fuck who’s asian but she’s awkward as fuck and also a hacker who likes spying on facebook. A former priest/still priest (his story hasnt been explained much) who’s also a doctor. And everyone respects each other’s ideas? Even if they’re really OUT there???!!! LIKE BEST DOCTOR SHOW EVER. 

Also Augustus Prew (Genius with chub) plays the main dude, and I will have you know that he once looked like this in a movie. 

Originally posted by sadolivegirl

And now he looks like this. 

Originally posted by bonaldea

Cheer Up Post #1455 - Men of the Cloth Edition

Forgive me, Father, but I have sinned. A lot. 

Supernatural Masterpost

***Disclaimer: Most of the images used do not belong to me. If you see one that’s yours, and you would like credit or to have it removed/replaced, please just ask.

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