pretty-alright

anonymous asked:

I guess the long answer, cause I'm pretty curious

alright. let me take you back, anon. let me take you back to a time that was nearly precisely 5 years ago - back to March 2nd, 2012. on this date, the movie The Lorax came out. it was an adaptation of the classic dr. suess story, albeit with heavy creative liberties taken and an arguably much less poignant environmental message.

but that’s not what you need to know.

what you need to know is, the main character of the original book, the Once-ler, was given a face in this movie - the face of a young, skinny, baby-faced man with the voice of Ed Helms.

for reasons still unknown to me, the internet at the time developed an incredibly deep and immediate fixation on him - most likely due to his nonthreatening, attractive appearance and voice. a fandom began to develop around the movie, but most specifically, around this character. the most prevalent place of operation this fandom took to was tumblr, in the wake of the rapidly receding superwholock fandom.

as with most fandoms comprised of sexually frustrated teenage girls, there was a heavy emphasis on shipping. however, this movie’s main cast aside from the once-ler were either vaguely off-putting, too young, or had absolutely no interaction with the object of their desires - the once-ler. their solution to this was the most surreal and bizarre fandom uroboros that many innocent souls have ever witnessed.

they started shipping him with himself.

later in the movie, the once-ler adopts this appearance while singing the only significant musical number from this movie, How Bad Can I Be? and undergoes a pretty striking character shift as he’s blinded by his own greed. hence, the fandom began to view this green suit-wearing once-ler as a completely separate entity than the previous, innocent, vest-wearing once-ler. they subsequently dubbed this double as The Greed-ler.

past that, things began to spiral quickly and violently out of control.

how many different ways are there to cook an egg? you can ponder on this for a very, very long time - but eventually, you’ll just get bored of the taste of eggs. how many different ways are there to ship someone with themselves? if you ask the once-ler fandom, they wouldn’t be able to tell you. because they tried literally every way imaginable.

there were high school AUs. there were wolf AUs. there were countless different ways to ship this character with his own self, in every single way you could possibly stretch it, to the point of absolute unrecognizability from the source material.

and even that became tiring.

they began to ship individual body parts with each other. they began to ship articles of clothing. there were RP blogs for each and every single AU and scenario, and then some. there was an RP blog dedicated to playing AS the once-ler’s semen.

here is a list on the once-ler fandom fucking wiki of but a fraction of the number of once-ler ask/rp blogs there were. it’s endless.

for a time, the blue hellsite was the green hellsite. the green man was inescapable. after a time, it eventually faded and died down over the course of these 5 long years - active once-ler blogs are now considered cryptids. rightfully so.

the idea of shipping junkrat skins with each other is a disturbing echo of the hellish period that was once-ler fandom. best we nip it in the bud now before we enter a new era.

then again, we’ll never reach heights like this again, right? we could never even come close to doing this all over again…

how bad can we possibly be?

Another Old Weather Joke

Sugawara: I’m cold..
Daichi: You could wear my jacket
Sugawara: No it’s ok Daichi
Daichi: *takes off his jacket and put it on Sugawara as a gentleman he is*
Sugawara: Dai—
Daichi: Better? *smile*
Sugawara: *blushing* *slowly getting close and then kissed gently ok basically being shoujo manga fluff sweet and stuff u know typical daisuga so much sugar


Hinata: IT’S SO COLD
Kageyama: YEAH IT IS
Hinata: DO YOU WANNA RACE TO SEE WHO COULD GET INTO THE NEAREST STORE AND BUY A WARM MEAT BUN FIRST
Kageyama: YOU BET
(and then later the two of them caught flu)


Yamaguchi: It’s cold!
Tsukishima: Indeed.
Yamaguchi:
Tsukishima:
Yamaguchi:
Tsukishima: Do you need my jacket?
Yamaguchi: N-no it’s fine besides you would be the one that cold if yo—
Tsukishima: Shut up, Yamaguchi *put his jacket on Yamaguchi*
Yamaguchi: ..Sorry, Tsukki. *avert his gaze somewhere and blushing*


Noya: Can I get into your jacket
Asahi:….I-I’m sorry what?
Noya: It’s pretty cold!!
Asahi: A-alright come here is it comfortable enough can you breathe is it stuffed there are you okay i—


Kuroo: *Put his jacket on Kenma*
Kenma: What
Kuroo: I thought you’re cold
Kenma: I didn’t say anything
Kuroo: I knew it I could read your mind
Kenma:
Kuroo:
Kenma:
Kuroo: Stop looking at me like I just stole your favorite game, kitten. I’m sincere


Oikawa: Iwa-chan I’m cold
Iwaizumi: Hello cold I’m Iwaizumi Hajime
Oikawa:
Iwaizumi:
Oikawa:
Iwaizumi:
Oikawa:
Iwaizumi:
Oikawa:
Iwaizumi:
Oikawa: Why are you like this


Bokuto: akAAAASHE ARE YOU COLD I CAN’T CONTROL THE WEATHER BUT HERE TAKE MY JACKET OR DO YOU PREFER MY WARM BODY AND EMBRACE
Akaashi: Bokuto-san, please refrain from doing something a little bit too much I’m perfectly fine.


Yachi: …
Kiyoko: Hitoka-chan are you feeling cold?
Yachi: A-ah? A bit! How about you senpai?
Kiyoko: I’m alright, let’s go to the nearest cafe and get a warm tea *put her scarf around Yachi and holds her hand*
Yachi: *blusHES A LOT,,,,,,


Ushijima: *Put his jacket on Shirabu*
Shirabu: Thank you.
Ushijima: No problem.


Hanamaki and Matsukawa, in sync: I’m cold
Hanamaki and Matsukawa, in sync, again: Dude
Matsukawa: Bro
Hanamaki: Bro

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: The stars say he future will be full of steam. Hey, steam is pretty alright.

Taurus: What is useful is a question of scale. Assassination would fix the deeper problem but a bucket of fried chicken would solve the more immedeate one.

Gemini: Topologically speaking, you are a sphere. Provided you keep your mouth shut. This information will save your life.

Cancer: Seek the loud child and stare at him for as long as you can.

Leo: it’s all fun and games until matter itself begins to decay and the universe unravels into frozen nothing.

Virgo: Rose bushes ward off evil. They are naturally enchanted. They are also pointy.

Libra: Carefully consider your actions and decide for yourself if you should be ashamed.

Scorpio: Leave everyone you meet feeling confused and aroused.

Ophiuchus: No part of you is useless, even the grossest of body parts make the tastiest of sausages. Get to grinding my friend.

Sagittarius: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It matters little, it needs to get the hell out of your house.

Capricorn: Your time is running out into the rain. Follow it outside and enjoy the cool air on your face for a moment.

Aquarius: Think of the power at your fingertips. The sheer amount of energy in your hands as you sit there and poop.

Pisces: Bare floors are a possibility.

2

logos for schoolwork…. that’s also stealth mchanzo, let’s be real

my project is basically to produce a LOT of restaurant graphics/material, for two imaginary restaurants and i’ve been having bad motivation for schoolwork lately so in order to make myself invested in this project I made it an AU in my head. It’s working pretty alright :b

Jesse’s is a Mexican American steakhouse, started by Gabe who renamed it after Jesse when he was born/adopted, couple o decades later Jesse decides to take the helm as head chef :b family resto with a lot of history and the tenderest steaks around.

But then the Shimada brothers open up shop, like, across the street, boasting the richest spiciest ramen. New kids on the block, first ever venture, but it makes it big. And though their main target crowds are different, well, all those rave reviews make Jesse nervous :b so he gets curious about head chef Hanzo Shimada.

(genji won out on making the logo dragon green, though, but hehe most of the resto colors are blue)

tl;dr they do the thing where they sneak into the others restos and spy and scope out their techniques and flavors, rivals to lovers, u can imagine the rest, heck yeah

[leave a tip]

Imagine Jeff being scared to take your virginity

Originally posted by knightlley

WARNINGS: Fluff, light smut

Jeff Atkins x reader

A/N (I can take any request from anything you guys want, message me, lmk!)


“Hey babe!”

Jeff kisses me as I opened the door for him to my house. My parents are out of town and I promised him l’ll help him study for his midterm. Not that my parents would care, they practically love him since we’ve been dating.

“Hey hot stuff, you can just through your stuff in my room while I get us something to eat”

As he jogs upstairs I quickly fix my hair and adjust my pajama shorts. I usually don’t care how I look around my boyfriend, but we’ve been dating for 5 months now and hasn’t even mentioned the thought of having sex with me. I pick up some chips and go upstairs where he is already laying out his textbooks.

“So we can start with World War 1 then go from there” he says as he’s looking at his book.

“Yeah sure, we can probably get through a few wars tonight.”

I jump on the bed and lay close to him. He looks up at me and smiles.

“You seem like your in a good mood, what’s up?”

“I can’t be happy to see my boyfriend?”

“You see me everyday baby”

“So you aren’t happy to see me” I fake pout.

“Shut up babe, you know I am.” He says as he pecks my lips.

“Yeah yeah” I smile. “let’s start with studying before we get tired”


“So that is what started the war?”

“Yes, but don’t forget how long the world ended”

“Yeah it lasted for 4 years.”

“Good, I’m actually a pretty good teacher”

“Your alright”

“Shut up” I laugh as I lightly punch him in the arm.

He laughs as he looks down at me. He glances down at my lips then quickly averts back to my eyes. I do the same, but make it known I’m looking at his beautiful lips. 

“Okay” he coughs. “at this rate we can g-”

I cut Jeff off by grabbing his face and smashing my lips on his. He seemed surprised at first then slowly closed his eyes. I slowly moved my hands around his neck as he put his on my leg and waist. As he deepened the kiss, he swung one of my legs on the other side of him so that I was now cradling him. As the kiss got more intense, I felt him moan against my lips. I needed air so I took that chance to take my shirt and bra off. His eyes were intensely locked on my chest and I couldn’t help but flush.

“You’re so beautiful y/n”

With that Jeff swung us over and pulled off his shirt. He went to my neck and chest and started planting soft kisses. As I slid my hands up and down his bare back, he started sucking harshly on my sweet spot. His hands started roaming my bare chest as he lightly squeezed. 

“Jeeeff” I moaned.

He looked down at me biting his lip as I started tugging his pants down. He threw them off and went back to kissing me. He kissed me so slow and passionately and I loved it. I started to kiss his neck and lightly grabbed him through his underwear feeling how extremely hard he was. he groaned at my touch and that made me crazy. I just wanted him already. I needed him.

“Jeff” I asked in between our kisses as he went back to my neck.

“Yes princess”

“Do you have a…you know….a-a” I slightly moaned.

“A…a condom?” 

“Yes” I said kind of embarrassed. 

He then stopped and slowly got off of me. Confused I sat up and pulled the sheets up to cover myself. 

“Did I say something wrong?” 

His back was faced towards me as he slouched over the edge of my bed.

“No, I’m sorry I just can’t do this right now” 

I’d be lying if I say that didn’t kind of hurt coming from him. I mean I thought it but I didn’t think he’d say it.

“You don’t want to have sex with me” my voice cracking as I put back on my shirt.

He snaps his head around and climbs back on the bed grabbing my hand.

“No no, god no, that’s not even close trust me.”

“Then why? I don’t understand” I look down.

He grabs my face and sighs.

“I’m scared okay”

“Scared?” I say kind of amused.

“Yes, don’t laugh, I’m the scared one. I’m scared to take something so precious from you. Scared to let you down after and I’m scared that you’ll regret it.”

He lets go of my face and focuses his gaze to the wall to hide his embarrassment. It’s now my turn to grab his face.

“Jeffrey, you don’t get it do you? you’re the precious one to me. I want you to be the one to take it because I love you”

He looks up at me and cheeses.

“I love you more princess.”

“So what does this mean now?”

“Well right now, nothing cause I have to go the bathroom to handle a little mess in my pants cause of you”

I try to hold in my laugh as he runs to the bathroom in my room 

“Sorry babe!”

Halloween Party

requested by @kickthhepj

tags: punk!richie, slight make-out session i guess

A/N: i got this request and i had to write this!!! also the kids in this are around 17 so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Word Count: 1,638

Richie takes Eddie to a Halloween party. Girls try to flirt with Richie. Eddie is hurt. You get the gist of it. 

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