pretty sure i'm dead and this is what heaven looks like

“It was an angel, I really saw an angel”

requested // yes

requests are open // request here

AN // I’m so sorry this took so long, it’s been a weird week.

TW // smut, profanity

It was an angel, I really saw an angel

The most beautiful things are found where you least expect them. He found her sat on the pavement outside a liquor store in a skirt short enough to make even an atheist mother clutch a cross but she had eyes that could make flowers grow from places in you that you thought were long dead. Walking over and sitting next to her was almost instinct, like she was an old friend or a lost child, but talking to her until sunrise? Well that was just because her voice was like violins and it made him forget about time. She’s not left his side since you know, like he needs her with him constantly just to be sure she’s real. She’s his saving grace, she’s an earthbound angel and she doesn’t know it. She doesn’t believe in angels. But he does. He believes in her. Demons are so shy around her, other men stutter when she looks them in the eye and he can’t believe she’s his. 

He catches himself staring at her a lot but he can’t help it, watching her do anything makes him feel like he can do everything, and he can’t help but mirror her smile when she catches him too because I swear when that girl smiles so does the entire goddamn universe and her laugh could make him forgive her for thing she hasn’t even done yet. She would never confess, in her fine world, that she really preferred chaos but he knew and he thinks that’s why she’s with him. He’s sure she’s an angel and he doesn’t plan on letting her go because God has a whole choir and Harry only has her.

He’s her favourite sin, the only one who could get her on her knees with her wrists tied behind her back and her swollen cunt making unseemly suggestions. She’s his good girl and oh how he loves to ruin her, the image of tears and mascara running down her cheeks as she begs him to fuck her is constantly on repeat in his mind like his favourite movie scene. Touching her feels like euphoria. The arch in her back could cause a holy catastrophe and the only thing reassuring the devil of her angel stance in moments where she’s writhing is the chant of God and Harry’s name falling from her pretty lips.  He never knows what he’s saying when he’s moaning into her mouth. Is it her name? Is it gospel? He’s not entirely sure what the difference is but he is sure that the only heaven he wants to be in is her. He always has love dripping from him in everything he does with her, like when he kisses her wrists before he pins them above her head. The ecstasy they feel with one another is hedonistic and it’s nights like these, when she lays exhausted and filled with him on his chest, that he sings her to sleep just so she’ll dream about slow dancing with him. She’s an angel, his only angel.

3101 followers
General prompts;
  1. 1. ”You buried her?”
    ”I didn’t see the point of hanging around with a dead body any longer than I needed to.”
  2. If you are so angry that you shake, you are too angry. Go get coffee or something and come you are calm.
  3. The ones who mourn their inevitable death will be sent to an early grave
  4. And what I am I supposed to do if the thing starts to rip me apart?
  5. At this point it’s just killing to survive. Not for sport, not for habits, not for no other reason to stay alive and survive this mess.
  6. You are not to lay a hand on a wife of the last King of this land, or the guards will be forced behead you.
  7. May I remind you what the last time you left your eldest son in charge, your majesty. It can never happened again.
  8. And just how did you think I could defeat all the demons of hell?
  9. You don’t have the slightest idea what they have see or done. And I for one, don’t even want to think about it.
  10. We have enough shit going on here in one city, why would we expand?
  11. Every time your name flashes on the phone screen, I don’t want to answer it. Because I know you will get me in trouble.
  12. ”Just to clarify, do I lose or win if I choke to death?”
    ”I mean it’d be a personal lose, but…”
  13. Well even after everything… At least you have your door left intact
  14. ”How was I supposed to know she’s a kleptomaniac based on one conversation?”
    ”You caught her trying to take your wallet!”
  15. ”Who invited the fucking pyro! I don’t need to be charged with vandalisms too!”
    ”So assault is fine, but vandalisms goes over the line?”
  16. Stop laughing, you are supposed to be dead.
  17. I knew he had come back to the city when the warehouse was set on fire.
  18. You guys are all kinds of fucked, you know that right?
  19. We could just kick it in, right? If she can’t pick it open, I mean.
  20. Why is it that you are the nicest of us all, but look the shadiest.
  21. ”You cannot win this war!”
    ”I am not trying to! I just want to survive!”
  22. My job is to dig my thumb down your old wounds until you scream out the secrets and lies you hold
  23. ”And if he shoots me to the head?”
    ”Well then we are more fucked than before.”
  24. Betray me, and I’ll make sure I’m your biggest nightmare.
  25. “Why did you do this?”
    “Because you have more than stressful life already, and… I thought you’d appreciate st least the idea of this.”
  26. “Do you know where he went?”
    “Well he said that he was going for a walk, so I can only imagine that he’s outside.”
  27. He felt like a piece of hand me down clothing. That nobody wanted to take a responsibility for, that nobody wanted.
  28. Well, well, now I just know how much of a death wish you have, coming to me for help.
  29. He had woken up screaming for the first time in a long time, sweat burning his eyes, the clothes sticking against his skin
  30. I know she’s the reason I don’t feel the same anymore when I’m alone, the reason I feel like crying when she’s mad enough to not speak to me. She makes me happier than I have never been, happier than I thought I never was going to be.
  31. Even if those were pure intentions, you did do it at the end and in their eyes, it’s the only thing that matters
  32. The knife in your hand is still dripping blood, mate. You need help with the body or something? Or is there a more sinister reason you are ringing my doorbell at four am?
  33. “And how did you obtain this car, mom? And why do you smell like you were drenched in a gas?”
    “What about you mind your own goddamn business? And don’t say anything about this to dad, alright?”
  34. Did you just push a kid with crunches out of the way, just to get the last hotdog?
  35. “Keep your back straight.”
    ”It’s pretty hard when rest of you is gay.”
  36. These things never worked out in the movies, so why did I even think I could pull this off in real life was fucking idiotic.
  37. He felt like a piece of hand me down clothing. That nobody wanted to take a responsibility for, that nobody wanted.
  38. Torture will always produce some false confessions and lies, with our without information.
  39. The newspaper clippings were glued to the front door and the pocket watch tied around the door handle.
  40. ”We are not harboring a fugitive in our house!”
    ”He’s not a fugitive, he’s your godfather!”
  41. What a better way to find out that you are a immortal than wake up after a nuclear blast to find everybody dead?
  42. I know it’s not the healthy way to think about it, but.. To me he’s not dead, he’s just not here at the moment.
  43. Wait, what are you doing? You can’t nail your shoes to a skateboard! How are you going to move, like you need to kick to get momentum to get from point A to point B.
  44. Ignore the fucking stumble on the chairs. I’m still cool as fuck. 
  45. ”Okay, how am I supposed to open this door?”
    ”Just kick it on the middle and push. I think I fucked it up when I slammed it yesterday…”
  46. Stop starting at me, I feel like you will punch me…
  47. ”Hey –”
    ”Don’t spoil the silence, dear.”
  48. Just because I don’t know what I’m doing, doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do it.
  49. You motherfuckers are playing basketball and didn’t invite me?!
  50. It makes me feel so much better knowing you could severely hurt yourself doing this.
  51. “Why didn’t you try to stop me?!”
    “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was my job!”
  52. He has moments of bravery, more than I can say about you.
  53. “The road is ending, what do we do?”
    “Ditch the car! Save yourselves!”
    “Don’t jump out of the -”
  54. The boss wasn’t expecting you to survive.
  55. Is she expecting me to go after her? Because you know, my knee is pretty messed up and.. Alright, I’ll do.

chapter titles;
  1. No Death For The Cowardly
  2. Man With A Purpose Has To Be Feared
  3. Ticket To Heaven Or Hell
  4. The Pain That Happens In Love
  5. We Cannot Change The Past, Time Boy
  6. Loosing Fingers Left And Right
  7. We Will Always Question Did We Deserve It
  8. Don’t Be An Animal, Use The Doors
  9. If Resulting In Slight Stabbing
  10. We Aren’t Who They Think We Are

magnoliasam  asked:

So, since Alicia died and the doll Max made of her only has her heart and memories, does that mean Alicia is in heaven right now? I think maybe she and Max share a heaven since we know siblings can be soulmates, but Max will never share it with her because he gave his soul over to a demon. Or maybe being resurrected as a doll means she isn't fully dead and her soul can't go to heaven? I'm just very worried about my beautiful Banes twins.

Holy crap though this is the real question, isn’t it? The thing is, I’m not sure if the doll doesn’t have Alicia’s soul. The way the witch said it, the things the dolls had weren’t limited to their memories and feelings. For all intents and purposes (except when she commanded them to protect her) they seemed “real” enough. Tasha Banes didn’t look like she was just pretending to love her children. She seemed like the memories of her own death had been erased and she was just continuing on as she had been. I could be wrong, though.

Soulless!Sam had memories and some emotions but lacked empathy, and if the dolls were merely soulless duplicates, it seems like they’d be more like the soulless people we’ve seen. Maybe the witch’s methods transferred the soul or duplicated it? Powerful magic could probably stop a reaper from taking those souls. If her soul really is in heaven and her current self is a duplicate, then it seems like it’d be pretty hugely unfair when this Alicia dies, because she seems to have all the attributes the show gives to souls… minus a body.

Pretty much the exact opposite of Soulless!Sam. Oh wow. Unforgivable digression: Sam and Soulless!Sam could totally have coexisted and probably fought for custody of Sam’s actual body. Weird.

Anyway. Ack. I love all these questions you’re asking, and I wish the episode had tied some of them up. And maybe Max isn’t doomed to eternal torment: the Winchesters have broken contracts before or found loopholes. Considering all they’ve been through and all they know, dodging a contract seems relatively easy. So… maybe it’s not entirely hopeless? Max could also go darkside and pawn off the powers (and thus the contract on his soul) to a new owner like the original witch did.

I’m also worried about the adorable witch twins and creeped the heck out about the ending of 12.20. I’m just going to headcanon that Max’s promise to tell Alicia what had happened was in fact a promise to tell her everything. I can’t stomach the idea of their lives being a replay of the Gadreel situation.

I worry that the show won’t ever look in on the Banes twins again, so we may just have to headcanon ourselves to sleep. :(

Thanks for the lovely question and sorry I couldn’t answer it better!

An Old Photograph (Oneshot) // Seokmin

Originally posted by ldks

Synopsis: He never really died, not in your mind nor in your heart. But then again, that’s way different with him actually showing up in your life again.
Word count: 3.8k welp
A/N: To the anon from a long time ago: remember when you asked if I was going to write a continuation for the Old Photograph and I said no? Yeah. I thought so too.


The warmth of the sun kissing your skin, the light breath of cool air from the passing wind, even the soft song the rustling leaves of the surrounding trees were singing; it was probably the nicest weather you’ve ever seen. But it was out of place, a complete contrast, almost a mockery with the heavy clouds that were starting to form from within.

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DAY SEVEN: Hallways

WELL… i’m a little late on this one. but whatever! 

FINAL DAY! EXCEPT NOT REALLY! a story about a world where soulmates are connected through their dreams by hallways. soulmates can pass through these hallways, but to their mates, they’ll always appear invisible in this dreaming world unless they’ve met once in the waking world. max and johnny are in this one.

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Enough *Castiel*

(Another relationship revealed drabble. I thought that if anyone needed some fluff as much as the Lysander girls it would be the Castiel girls.)

It has been a couple days since my visit with Castiel to see Lysander. I hadn’t gone back but Castiel had and assured me that Lysander is remembering more everyday but anything pertaining me was still a blank. It made me feel bad to think that he had no idea who I was but not as bad as it would be if it had been Castiel in his place. To not have my own boyfriend remember me…I don’t know how I’d handle it.

He’s been doing better since he got to see Lysander but the initial blow of seeing his best friend bleeding on the pavement had shaken him. Still when we were at school together I made a point of staying by his side. I believe people started to suspect about us but I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if even my parents knew, which I think they might at this point. Castiel had also made it a point to walk me home everyday even though it was out of his way and I know my parents have seen him doing so. I had told them the first day he walked me home after our trip to the hospital it was because he’s Lysander’s best friend but it’s not holding much weight anymore.

After a bland week of school it was finally Friday and the weekend meant a well deserved break from the melancholy atmosphere of the school. We still had to go through that day’s classes but that shouldn’t have been too bad.

Eleven herbs and spices of wrong. Upon walking into school that morning it was pretty standard as mornings go. I was at my locker talking with Priya and Iris in between classes about some annoying math homework we got assigned over the weekend when he showed up.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite school cutie.” Dake grinned at me.

“Dake, what are you doing here? It’s the middle of a school day.” I wanted to shout at him why he was trying to flirt with me when it was made crystal clear the last time we saw each other that I have a boyfriend.

“Didn’t you hear? I transferred to Sweet Amoris.”

I felt the ground start to give out beneath me. He transferred to Sweet Amoris? This Sweet Amoris? Oh dear heaven above this was not happening.

While I was frozen in my spot Priya took up to talking to him. I got my wits about me and focused on the situation at hand. This was nothing major. Dake is a natural born flirt. He knows I have a boyfriend and I can only hope he will respect that and try to keep his remarks to himself.

“Well, it certainly makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only fairly new student.” Dake smiled at Priya. “Maybe you can show me around the school sometime.”

“With as many times as you’ve been here I’m not sure how much of a tour you need.” the words popped out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying.

“Aw, does someone else want to show me around?” he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Dake,” I warned, “Remember what happened last time you did that?”

“So what? Just because your boyfriend is easily jealous means that we can’t hang out?”

“Boyfriend?” Iris asked looking at the pair of us. “Candy, you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh they don’t know?” Dake pointed at Iris and Priya, “I guess it would be hard to tell seeing as how he doesn’t seem like the type of guy to actually show a girl that he’s interested in her.”

“Dake!”

“You have got to be kidding me!” A voice growled. Castiel was standing outside our little group watching the scene with furious eyes. “How many times do you have to be told to keep your hands to yourself pervert!”

“Castiel, please–” Iris tried to calm him down but with everything that had been going on as of recent with Lysander and then Nina and now Dake, there was no controlling him.

“Pervert? Just because I have my arm around her?” Dake gave an uneasy laugh, “You need to learn to chill. We were just having a friendly conversation about how lousy a boyfriend you make.”

“Dake! Quit it!” I yelled at him and pushed away from him freeing myself. “I don’t care if you flirt with me. I don’t care if you flirt with every girl in this school till the day you die. But you do not–do NOT–get to judge if my boyfriend is lousy or not!”

The students in the hall passing by had come to a dead halt as they surveyed the scene. “You wanna know why? Because while Castiel may drive me up a wall and seem emotionally distant and is no doubt the most stubborn person I have ever met–”

“Way to build me up, babe.” Castiel muttered.

“He is also one of my best friends. He has been there for me through so much and respects my boundaries when I create them unlike you. He knows when to leave me alone or when to chase after me. He knows what to say to make me smile when I’m having a bad day. Castiel, this tall, lean drink of dyed ginger goodness is the best boyfriend I could have hoped to get. Not because he kisses me all the time or does mushy flirty crap to try and woo me but because to him I am a friend first and a girl second.”

I walked next to Castiel and he immediately wrapped both his arms around my waist keeping me close. “So how about you move along and try respecting me for once.”

The hall stayed deadly quiet before I shot the passerbys a harsh glare and they continued on. Dake left with the crowd throwing Castiel and I half abashed half frightened looks before disappearing down the hall.

“I think he finally got the message.” Castiel rested his chin on top of my head.

“Hopefully. That boy isn’t all that bright.” I sighed turning around in his arms to look at him. I never really noticed just how much I loved those grey eyes of his, especially when they were this close.

“Now that that’s over I have got to ask,” he whispered, “Tall, lean drink of dyed ginger goodness? Is that really what you think of me?”

My face caught fire as I remembered exactly what I had said a minute ago. “W-Well that is–I just–I wasn’t really thinking while I was talking so–”

“Candy,” he leaned his face in closer, “You’re the best girlfriend I could have ever hoped to have.”

I started to smile back before he caught my lips. We stood there in the middle of the hallway making out until a loud wolf-whistle from Alexy made us pull apart. I held back a laugh at the sight of his cheeky smile and pulled on Castiel’s arm. “Come on, Cassie. We should be heading to class.”

“Screw class.” he kept an arm around me as he steered me toward the locker room. “If you think you can just initiate a make out like that and then quit you are dead wrong, ironing board.”

Trust Issues

Bucky x OFC

Summary: You have a phobia of heights which means being on a plane in the middle of the Atlantic was a bad idea. Yet, here you are.

Warnings: Language, I talk about phobias of heights and planes so if that stuff upsets some of you then maybe you should stay away, there are also slight mentions of panic attacks/anxiety so just another quick little FYI.

Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note: so this is my first one shot ever posted on here (so exciting!!) and idk I hope you guys enjoy it bc that would make me really happy??? I have a phobia of heights and just the thought of Bucky being so comforting and adorable makes me v happy so this was the result.


Originally posted by natpekis


I hated Bucky Barnes. I hated him more than anything on this entire fucking planet. And I made damn well sure he was aware of that.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” I muttered as I stared out of the cargo plane. “You told me this was intel gathering? In and out.”

“I know,” Bucky’s voice came through over the comm. “Which is what you’re doing. You’re going to be in and out.”

“Did you just happen to forget to mention the whole me jumping out of a plane portion of the mission?”

“A minor detail, really.”

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*breathes deeply*

Okay, here is the thing. I wrote this as a response to the debate with emeraldgreentrad and beautifullydisordered, for some reason, tumblr won’t allow me to reblog the post.

1. Mary is the new Ark. You know the big giant golden box that held the stone tablets (aka word of God) in? The ark that everyone bowed down to because it contains the word of God? Now they didn’t worship it, they were expressing reverence to what is inside. Okay, now, Jesus is the Word made Flesh. Mary is the vessel, the Ark, that contains the Word made Flesh. God is was and always will be, which means He isn’t 32 years old in Heaven right now. He is all times and all ages forever, and because of this Mary remains the Ark.

I’m not sure if you remeber, but in the bible they carried that Ark around all over the place, every where they took it kingdoms fell in the name of God. The Ark wasn’t even allowed to be touched except by a certain “ordained” if you would, person, and I can go more into that later.

2. Mary is the “new Eve”, and Jesus is the “new Adam”. Okay so, original sin as you know it was due to the fall of Adam and Eve. Eve said “no” to God when she ate the forbidden fruit, Mary said “Yes (aka Be it done to me according to Your Word)” to God by accepting God’s will, and being the Ark, the Tabernacle of God made Flesh (Jesus the Savior).

3. Mary is the Gebbirah. The wife of the King of those times was NOT the queen, the Mother of the King was the Queen, the Gebbirah, and she was the spokesman for the people. People would bring their petitions to the queen, and the queen would present them to the King. Mary is Queen of Heaven, because Jesus is King. Before Jesus was born every little Jewish girl wondered if she would be the Bearer of the Messiah, because she would also be the Gebbirah.

4. Jesus started His miracles after His Mother told Him to do so. Hello, honor thy Mother? Jesus may be God, but He is also the example of humility and exact example to follow the comandments of God. During the Wedding of Cana, Mary told Him to start, and He was like “but I’m not ready”, then Mary was like “DO AS HE TELLS YOU”. Every good son who loves his mom also honors her, considers her request, you really don’t think that Jesus wasn’t a lover of His own Mother?

5. “Every nation shall call me Blessed”, this is why we call her our blessed Mother.

6. None of the Saints are dead. Saint is a name of a person in heaven. People in heaven are alive, in fact they are MORE ALIVE THEN ANY ONE ON EARTH. If you can ask your friends to pray for you, you can ask your brothers and sisters in Christ who are literally in heaven all day every day praying and worshiping to God to pray for you too. We do pray to God directly, but when we ask our Mother and our Heavenly family to pray too, you can bet God hears our prayers even louder.

People who are Christian ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST. If people on earth are the hands of the Body of Christ, then the people on Earth are the HEAD OF THE BODY OF CHRIST. You don’t all the sudden stop becoming the body of Christ, and stop praising and worshiping God when you get to Heaven. Not to mention people in Heaven are like standing next to God????

7. The whole “don’t worship graven images”, thing refers to the law before Christ was made in the Flesh. It was blasphemy to create and image of God, before we knew what God the Son looked like. This is why it was blasphemous to make a darn cow of gold.

8. The Saints are our family, period. Blood may be thicker then water, but the waters of baptism are thicker then blood. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are your family. It is acceptable for you to have photos of your family, even those who are dead, how is it not acceptable to have images of your family in Christ??? Like it’s totally acceptable to have a image made by a MAN (art), hanging in your house, but God forbid we have an image of a Saint, a person who lived and died for God, hanging in our house? These are God’s artwork! Men and women who did His Holy work! And when we see them we see God, and thank God. Never mind when God ordered Moses to make a giant golden snake, I mean hello.

9. I’m not going to pick out little passages from the bible for you, you need to take it as a whole. The entire old testement is a parallel to the New testment. You can’t read it, and apply it’s terms to 2015, when you literally have no understanding what the writers meant.

10. We are called to imitate Christ. Christ put Himself in the arms of His Blessed Mother, if we wish to become like Christ so should we. The mocking of Mary is a mocking of Christ. And that’s why Catholics are so offended. You can’t pick and choose which parts of Christ to imitate, if He allowed Himself to be cared for in the arms of the Blessed Mother, shouldn’t you? If you want Christ as a brother, you need Mary as you Mother.

11. The very last words of Christ on the Cross was Him giving us His Mother. I’m pretty sure the dying words of Jesus should be taken seriously, I don’t know about you.

12. Now, to explain how we don’t worship Mary and the saints:

Latria-this is the honor we give to God alone
Dula - this is the honor we give to human beings who lived and died for love of God (like the saints)
Hyperdula-the honor due to her has Christ’s Mother. It is greater in degree to “dula”, then the other saints, but since she is a human being her honor is still completely different then the honor given to God alone.

anonymous asked:

Out of pure curiosity, what do you think of Sara Lance? And by extension her friendship// (acquaintance-ship?) with Len and Mick?

I fucking love Sara Lance.

When she was first introduced in Arrow, I was slight “wtf????” because I knew Laurel was supposed to be the Black Canary and I wasn’t sure what to make of her. But then she started protecting women (e.g., Sin) and didn’t make fun of Felicity for her obvious crush on Oliver, even when Sara was dating Oliver, and encouraged her to learn how to defend herself. And her pain and trying to hide the truth from her family was obvious and the sister feels really hit me because wow am I a sucker for sister feels (I am a younger sister and any media where sisters look out for sisters punches me right in the gut, I bawl like a baby at The Hunger Games, it’s embarrassing).

But then… woo boy, then I found out she was bisexual and it was like [pterodactyl screeches intensify]. Screaming ‘representation’ from the high heavens – a beautiful badass but gentle and loving bisexual female character? Could I be more in love? Oh I shipped Nyssara so hard – hard enough that I couldn’t even ship either of them with anyone else for the longest time, despite being multshipper trash.

And then, well you know, they fucking killed her. I was pretty pissed. I didn’t expect her to come back despite the fan outrage, but I was tired and just sort of… accepted it. Hated Malcolm Merlyn, felt for Thea, and slowly became less invested in Arrow. And then I heard the were bringing her back to life.

I’ll admit, there’s a lot about that narrative I didn’t like. My personal beliefs about death and grief are kind of that you shouldn’t interrupt it and bring people back from the dead, both in theory for irl, but also in any form of media – it lessens the impact of any death if you can start to bring people back to life, especially if you do it so long after they died (as opposed to having it an immediate thing so it’s not like anyone has grieved and the audience is in shock but not mourning, and we get that this was the plan all along). There are very few exceptions to this “don’t bring them back to life” mindset of mine, though I have run across a few. 

But anyway, I was a bit leary. As much as I loved her and identified with her, bringing her back left a slightly sour taste in my mouth, even though I knew it was for Legends. Glad she was alive, sad she had to die, frustrated at the way they told her story. I’m also exceedingly frustrated they gave her the mantle ‘White Canary’ instead of literally anything else, because The White Canary in the comics is a woman of color (a Chinese woman) and I detest whitewashing.

All that being said, I genuinely am glad to see her back on my screen and I do still love her as a character. I was worried they would mostly ignore her bisexuality in Legends but the opposite has been true so far and I’m very very glad about it. I couldn’t care less about the bloodlust “I’m a monster” bullshit or about the return to the League of Assassins (both of those things felt like lazy writing to me) but I love her interactions with all of the other characters so far – her ability to cut through Len’s bullshit, to connect with Mick in a way others seem afraid or reluctant to, to act as a teacher and mentor to Kendra (wish we got to see more of that tbh), to know what’s going on with Rip and where his head is at. 

She understands seemingly everyone on the team in this very deep but seemingly effortless way and it’s so good to see. It makes sense too – with her very intense experiences in her past, Sara has learned the value in cutting to the heart of matters and of being honest, both to others and to oneself, so she has brushed aside a lot of the inherent self-deception and illusions with with people prop up their lives. And I love that we see this intuitive and empathetic side to her, coupled with how badass and no-bullshit she is, because it makes her feel like this amazing rounded character and I live for it. I also freaking love that we get to see her freckles omg Caity Lotz is so gorgeous.

The Rogue Canary broT3 is probably one of my favorite things about the show but it’s not just that, it’s Sara herself and how she interacts with others. I do love and have almost always loved her.

anonymous asked:

Hi :) I want to ask you, if you don't know about some cute au destiel fics? It can be something longer and oneshot too,I don't mind. I'm not feeling very well and I know destiel is one of few things that will make feel better haha.

Aww I’m so sorry you feel bad, and sorry this took me so long to answer! I have a Destiel fic rec list that’s a WIP so let me copy you all the AUs. They’re all fantastic. :) Feel better!

(♥ is a favorite, * indicates that there is little to no smut)

  • Not Part of the Plan series by Annie D (scaramouche) | Dean/Castiel urban fantasy AU where Castiel and Dean are from neighbouring countries (Castiel from a kingdom, Dean from a republic), and romance happens. ♥
  • The face of heaven. by orange_crushed | Castiel is a fallen star. *
  • The Breath Of All Thingsby KismetJeska | Dean Winchester was twenty-six years old when a car accident killed his father and left him paralysed from the waist down. A year and a half later, Dean is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. It’s only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one. ♥ *
  • Ad Astra by nhixxie | “Stars died for you, Dean Winchester.” *
  • A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight | Dean is pretty sure he’s going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn’t started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that’s not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there’s no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom’s old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head. ♥ *
  • Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph | Dean’s done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake.
  • Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGabyriseofthefallenone | Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right? That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be. 
  • Carry On by TamrynEradani | When Sam gets into Stanford, Dean needs a bigger paycheck than Bobby’s garage can give him. Luckily, he knows a guy. | Dom!Cas, sub!Dean, BDSM, paid relationship that becomes romance. ♥
  • Autumn Hollow by shotgunsinlace | When tragedy strikes late one Californian night, author C.J. Novak searches for a place to start his life anew. The long road filled with shadows and doubts take him to Nires Island, a small fishing town off the coast of Maine where the food is good and the neighbors are polite. But when nightmares of drowning threaten the fragile threads of Castiel’s sanity, the picturesque shores of Autumn Hollow don’t look quite so pretty any more. The dead walk, the vengeful haunt, the darkness stalks, and Dean Winchester may be more than just the shady mechanic who somehow manages to destroy Castiel’s defenses.
  • The Ends of Earth by darkforetold | Dean Winchester should have died that Thursday. His murder would have started a civil war between the entitled rich and the starving poor. Equality, and the chance at food and clean water had been one throat-slit away. In the end, it only took one man to ruin it all. Tagged as a traitor for saving Dean’s life, Castiel’s world is torn apart by the vengeance of an unseen enemy. Little by little, he loses hope—until he himself is rescued by the kindness and love of one man. ♥
  • Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist | A/B/O verse, omega!Dean/alpha!Cas, mpreg, hurt/comfort, a lot of angst and a lot of fluff. Major trigger warnings.
  • Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies by almaasi | Dean’s roommate is not what anyone would call ordinary. Cas is asexual, and autistic, and he frustrates other people with his unrelentingly ‘childish’ ways – but it’s different with Dean: they have an exceptional bond, something truly profound. *
  • Convenient Husbands by Annie D (scaramouche) | “It’s only temporary, right?” Dean says. “Just until you’re healed up, and then we’ll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?” | Phoenix!Castiel
  • The Request by cloudyjenn | When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge. *
  • Hunting for Faith by Pappcaveriseofthefallenone | Fantastic reverse!verse epic, Castiel is a hunter/priest, Dean and Sam are angels trying to stop the apocalypse.
  • The Parts of Our Sum by Annie D (scaramouche) | Castiel, a former soldier, has worked for the Company his entire life. They’ve been good to him, providing clothes, shelter and new body parts whenever necessary. Now the Company’s gearing up for a space exploration voyage, and Castiel’s volunteered for the research team. During the preparation period, he meets Dean Winchester, who makes Castiel wonder about the things he’s missed out on.
  • Kingdom Come by cheesewithmy | Dean’s life is all work. He’s either at the bar that’s been left to him, serving drinks and cooking with his friend and partner Benny, or tinkering with prosthetic limbs. The rest of his life is one unhappy mess after another. Finding a stranger in the bathroom of his bar, after hours, doesn’t necessarily improve anything. | Some body horror related to Dean’s amputated arm, a lot of depressed and suicidal thoughts. ♥ *
  • Kiss You When It’s Dangerous by zoemathemata | When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. Discovering the world of the supernatural and learning about werewolves, wendigoes, vampires and things that go bump in the night also leads to learning more about Dean and the strange life he and his brother lead. The more he learns, the more Castiel finds himself drawn into Dean’s world and toward Dean himself. Until Uriel wants to complete the ritual he started.
Detailed 91 Days Ending Analysis [SPOILERS]

Okay so at the risk of spoiling people I shall be putting this all under a cut! This post will be quite lengthy, heavy in detail and feature lots of images! Buckle up your seat belts and have a pack of tissues at hand because I am sorry-not- sorry! (If you read all of this I applaud you!)

1,178 words

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How to build an entire season of Supernatural on Destiel becoming canon.

Let’s be honest here; Supernatural is nine seasons into what was supposed to be a five season run, and through no fault of the writers or the show itself, they are eventually going to hit a wall. There’s only a finite number of things you can do in this kind of fictional universe after your leading characters halt the goddamn Judaeo-Christian apocalypse. Eventually there’s going to be a point where the writers are sitting around a table going “What the fuck do we do now?”

The answer is hook up Cas and Dean. And if they’re clever, they can get an entire season worth of plot out of it. The idea is under the cut.

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anonymous asked:

How do I deal with the fact that I'm probably going to hell? There are tons of awesome Christians around me, I wish I knew God loved me like they do. But I'm such a massive screw up its unreal man, I hate sin so bad but I sin? I'm not trying to but it's like a freaking disease I can't get away from. Pretty sure I already messed up too much though. The bible even says if we keep messing up we don't have salvation so I'm just done now..

Hey, I’m so sorry to see that you’re suffering and going through this struggle..

The first thing I want to tell you is that you need to drop the “I’m probably going to hell” mentality. Whether someone told you that you’re probably going to hell or you have come to believe this on your own, this is the enemy whispering to you so that you continue to fall away from your faith and feel hopeless. The enemy wants you to believe you’re too far gone for God’s grace and mercy, which can wash you clean of your sins and give you the strength to resist the temptations of the flesh you are currently battling. Remember that God is the only Judge (James 4:12). Only He can make the decision of whether or not someone is going to hell. We have no right to tell someone they are conclusively going to hell, and we don’t have the right to say that about ourselves - because we aren’t the Judge. We can warn someone when they are doing something to endanger themselves spiritually and we can acknowledge when behaviors are ones that put people at risk of not entering the kingdom of God (for example, the behaviors listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Galatians 5:19-21), but we cannot conclusively say, “You’re going to hell” to anyone, not even ourselves. God alone is the Judge and only He can make that decision.

God does love you! That’s just a fact that will always be true, and it is not dependent upon how you feel and/or if you accept the truth that He loves you. However, you will live much more happily and peacefully if you do acknowledge and accept that He loves you. He loves each and every one of us beyond what our human minds could ever attempt to comprehend. He doesn’t love certain Christians more than others, since God has no favorites. And the Word also tells us that God loved us even while we were sinners, which is demonstrated by the fact that Christ was given as the perfect, living sacrifice to pay for the sins of all who accept Christ. Stop for a moment and really let that reality sink in - He loves every human being He created in His image so much that He made a way for every single one of us to saved if we accept Jesus Christ through faith and this was accomplished by God coming to this world in a body like ours and enduring slow, brutal, and torturous death for our sake. This is love beyond anything any human being could manage. So don’t ever doubt for a moment that you are loved.. because this reality applies to you. You aren’t an exception to the truth of the Gospel.

All this being said, it’s true that you can’t continue living in sin. As the Word tells us, living in sin without repenting and addressing it does endanger one spiritually and is something not to be taken lightly. However, it is never too late to repent/turn away from the sin you are struggling with and be made right with Him. The Bible continually demonstrates the theme of those lost in sin being given the chance to make themselves right and repent. The parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son emphasize this concept in Luke 15. I strongly suggest you read these! God is not just waiting and hoping for you to mess up so He can condemn you to hell. It’s the opposite - He is waiting for you to realize the fault in the sins you have been falling prey to (and it seems you have already reached the point of realizing the sin is a behavior that needs to stop - and it’s good that you realize this!) and waiting with open arms for you to come back to Him and seek His love, forgiveness, and guidance. Look at what the verses say in these parables - there is rejoicing in heaven when a sinner repents:

“…Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” - Luke 15:6-7


“And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” - Luke 15:9-11


“But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” - Luke 15:32


I’m guessing you are referring to Hebrews 10 when you are mention the idea of salvation loss. Many people misunderstand that chapter because they read isolated verses in the chapter and not reading the chapter in entirety to get the true context. Hebrews 10 demonstrates to us that people will be held accountable for choosing to live in sin without repentance, and a person who knows Christ’s message but chooses to reject Him and go back to the old sinful life they used to live and stay in that lifestyle without making themselves right with Him will be held to an even higher level of accountability than someone who sins and does not know Christ’s Good News. But the meaning behind the chapter isn’t actually saying that a person will be turned away after a certain point if they are genuinely repenting and seeking His forgiveness. If you read the entire chapter, Paul is urging the Hebrews (who are being addressed in the chapter for falling away from their faith in Christ and returning to sin) to turn away from their sin and return to Jesus with repentant hearts so that they can be made right again. I answered an ask about Hebrews 10 before and went into detail about it, maybe it will be helpful for you to read. You can find it here.

If a person chooses to have a hardened heart and rejects Him, there is nothing He can do about that because the person has made that choice with their freewill. However, God does not reject those who come with a repentant heart that is genuinely seeking forgiveness and the strength to overcome the temptation of the flesh.

I think it may also be helpful for you to read Romans 7:7-25, where Paul discusses the details of his struggles with sin/the flesh - even after He was saved and became a follower of Christ. Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that the temptation of the flesh magically vanishes and Paul’s account of his struggles with sin as a Christian is proof of that. However, because all things are possible with God, it is possible to overcome the temptation of the flesh with His strength and guidance, and for one to be forgiven through the blood of Jesus.

You’ve identified the sinful behavior you have been falling into and realize that this is something that can’t go on. That’s a big and important step you’ve taken. Now it’s time to press into Him and seek Him for guidance and strength. Shying away from Him out of shame and believing the enemy’s lies that you are too far gone and you’re done for is not going to help anything. You need to hold tight onto God now and ask Him for His help to overcome this because this is the only way you can defeat this struggle. You’re right - sin is like a disease, but sin is not bigger than He is. No sin is too much for the blood of Jesus. Jesus took every curse, every sin, every disease, every horrible thing you can imagine upon Himself on the cross. He became sin so that we could be set free. Death was defeated on the cross and now it’s a matter of trusting in His power to work in your life. Claim the victory that was made in Jesus’ name when He died on the cross and rose from the dead! The victory belongs to all who believe in Him and the power of His blood that was shed for us.

I hope this was helpful to you.. You may also want to check out my sin tag for other asks similar to your situation. If there’s anything else I can do to help you, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

anonymous asked:

Reasons why Graylu is awesome plz

Oh lord. Let’s go through everything then! I’ll just go through and analyze moments and make a conclusion paragraph, because GrayLu isn’t an obvious pairing like NaLu, so there’s a ton of subtext one has to think about in order to fully understand the pairing.

First off, there was something immediate there. When Gray first saw Lucy, he definitely wanted to talk to her, to say something as stupid as “Can I borrow some panties?” It was subtle, but Gray’s not the type to ask something so stupid so easily. He’s a serious kind of guy minus his stripping habit, so to act so out of character shows that he felt something different about Lucy, whether it was attraction or something else, we can figure out through the next few moments.

Then, there were silly moments like Lucy’s skirt flapping in the wind and Gray blushing and saying “Oi, oi…”, but then there were more serious ones like the one regarding Gray’s scar. When Gray said that impressive line about scars, Lucy winked and said “Well said”, some pretty obvious flirting. When Natsu comes back and interrupts him, Gray tells him off because he was “acting cool”, showing that Gray attempts to act cool in front of Lucy. That’s quite uncharacteristic of Gray, because he certainly hasn’t tried that for the other girls in the guild, besides maybe Erza a tiny bit.

Then there was the time when Gray snuck into Lucy’s house in order to tell Lucy about Natsu and Erza’s fight. Now people are gonna say, but Natsu does that all the time! The thing is, Natsu is quite eccentric. He doesn’t know much about social norms because he was raised by a damn dragon. Gray, however, knows it’s appropriate to go ahead and ring the doorbell before walking in, especially to someone new. But Gray goes ahead and sneaks in anyway, despite his better judgement. Why? To sneak a peek at Lucy’s house? Gray certainly has an interest in Lucy’s things as shown by him reading Lucy’s manuscript later on, which is odd considering Gray doesn’t seem to get interested in simple things very easily. The fact that when Gray snuck in, he was basically naked, also makes for a few fun predictions, but I won’t go into crazy conjecture.

When Lucy went to her father’s house and Team Natsu was looking for her, Gray’s immediate thought was walking into the bath. He has some sort of flashback of Lucy saying “Gray, you pervert”, implying that this has happened before. So Gray’s most likely walked in on Lucy in the bath before. Let’s draw our own conclusions here onto what that entails.

In that same episode, Happy opens a drawer full of Lucy’s underwear. Everyone was blushing at this, but Gray had SMOKE COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD. SMOKE. That’s some strong feelings about seeing Lucy’s underwear, and even though he wanted to respect Lucy’s things as best he could, he still stared for quite a bit with the others, ignoring his own morals.

Next, we have another silly moment where Aquarius basically beat Lucy’s butt and it’s sore, and Gray offers to cool it off with well… his hands. This is such a contrast from the childish Natsu who wants to burn Lucy to see her more hurt face. Gray again steps out of regular people boundaries in order to flirt with Lucy, just like the first time they met, showing he’s definitely attracted to her. When the play episode was going on, Gray blushed a ton when Lucy’s dress was cut up, but that’s to be expected, so I won’t elaborate on that.

One of my favourite GrayLu moments was in the Tower of Heaven arc, when they were waiting for Erza. Lucy was in a swimsuit and Virgo found it inapprorpiate to be eating in that, so she changes Lucy into another outfit. Gray’s reaction was priceless. He stops eating just to stare, unlike Natsu who doesn’t give two shits, and when she’s finished changing, he goes out of his way to tell her she looks cute. Gray clearly checked Lucy out, and told Lucy she looked cute. If that isn’t indicative of attraction, I don’t know what is, because damn, Gray had a bit of a crush at this point.

This is another small moment, but in the Tower of Heaven arc again, when Erza was “dead”, we see a split second of Lucy and Gray hugging. Since this was a “what if” scenario, if Erza had died in the Tower of Heaven, this would have happened, showing that Gray is someone Lucy can lean on, because that looked like a pretty tight hug, not one of those “one second” hugs. Of course, with a death everyone needs support, but the fact that Gray chose to comfort Lucy when he had only known her for a little bit shows something.

Another favourite moment of mine comes up when Gray follows Lucy home in order to protect her from whatever is creeping on her. It’s been shown multiple times that Gray is the “tsundere” type, so he does things like this without telling Lucy because he cares, but is too afraid to show it. It was really cute of him, and he was clearly embarrassed when Natsu and Happy found him out.

Next, one of the most concrete supports for GrayLu: when Gemini was in Gray’s mind. “Good looks… somewhat interested in her.” That’s completely self explanatory! You don’t say you’re somewhat interested in someone unless, y'know, you’ve got a crush or something similar. Lucy’s reaction was priceless as well, showing her more innocent side.

In the Edolas arc, when Gray was about to fight Sugarboy and Natsu and Lucy were about to fight Hughes, one of them dropped a ship on the three of them. Gray could have simply pushed Lucy out of the way, but he pushed her out of the way and protected her by staying on top of her in quite a compromising position. Later on, when Natsu’s on the roller coaster, Gray blushes before picking Lucy up and throwing her, because he was touching her quite a bit. Definitely some attraction shown in those moments.

Finally, one of the most famous GrayLu moments: when Gray pets Lucy in the celestial spirit world! He’s so proud of her for how much she’s grown with her spirits and acknowledges how strong the bond is with them, by doing something a bit out of the ordinary: petting her. It was mad cute, and shows not only their cute friendship, but possibly something more. Even Juvia saw that, as she got quite mad there.

And the last major GrayLu moment in the first series was Juvia’s imagination of Lucy confessing to Gray. I think the real moment here wasn’t even the imagination scene, because that was all fake, but more of Gray and Lucy’s reactions. They had a collective sigh there, for sure. But it shows how similar they really are. They’re both the “down to earth” members of Team Natsu, versus Natsu and Erza, who are a bit… eccentric. Though the moment was cute in itself with the fantasy, that’s all it was: a fantasy. The subtext behind the fantasy is more important.

So those are a few of the most important GrayLu moments (I skipped quite a few, and didn’t even mention fillers or the second series), and I think you guys should be able to see why I ship them now. There’s a clear attraction behind friendship (in my opinion) on Gray’s side, and I think Lucy’s side could definitely grow if Hiro would just develop it. Gray is mature enough for Lucy, unlike Natsu, who doesn’t seem mature enough for a relationship at all. So I love GrayLu because of not only how hot it is as a couple (which most people think is the only reason for loving GrayLu), but also because there’s romantic chemistry between the two that actually seems more like a real life relationship, rather than a sappy “manga shoujo” relationship that makes no sense.

anonymous asked:

[#my first ~novel~ was about a boy who was in love with his best friend and then he DIED and became his best friend's guardian angel] you can't say things like that and not mention the title of the book! that's just cruel!

IT’S INCREDIBLY FLATTERING THAT YOU CALLED MY WEIRD OLD STORY A BOOK! I don’t think it even had a proper title. it literally existed in my head/in a notebook on my shelf. 

I can actually still remember pretty much everything about that story and those characters (read: so I’m gonna fucking talk about it). I can ALSO remember how unbelievably trite and terrible it was. and blasphemous. and really, really queer. I loved it. it was so #me. 

according to the front of this 8ish-year-old notebook, it was called ‘A Boy, Lost’ which is exactly the kind of thing Young Me would have been infinitely into. I probably came up with half this shit while listening to Patrick Wolf’s Lycanthropy, being superior and misunderstood and staring out of the car window at the rolling mountains on the way to my auntie’s wishing I was a fucking faerie. (I can’t even bring myself to not spell faerie like that. I haven’t changed. I am still this trash child.)

LOOK AT THIS!!! WHAT THE HELL, @ME???

while I was flicking through this mortifying notebook I found a folded-up till sheet from one of my first jobs, on the back of which I had scribbled a bit of writing while I should have been cleaning out the minging coffee machine or something, and oh my god. it was long enough ago that I can actually put it up here for yous to laugh at with me, but I am just not chill enough to not hide it under a cut, because, again, oh my god:

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Angels Flocking to Cas (9x18)

So, ich-hab-etwas-was-du-brauchst sent an ask saying (x):

“Hi! After the last episode, I’m thinking about Hanna a lot - I’m drawing some very fast conclusions that I don’t like much… but I’m no pythoness (actually, I suck when I try to predict anything, including the weather conditions in thirty minutes…). Umm, do you have any thoughts on this? Or angels in general? I find it kind of… weird that there are so many of them suddenly following Cas. I mean, it took mer a lot of time to get mer free will, and ze had Dean…”

And I said I’d make a meta, so I am.

I find it a bit strange that angels keep believing in Cas after EVERYTHING.

I mean, I’m not sure if I could put my faith in the hands of a dude who committed genocide on my race when ze turned cray cray with pseudo-god powers.

Though, Cas keeps freaking coming back and everyone thinks ze’s Chuck’s favorite little nerdy angel. It’s like staking your odds with a more unintentionally deadly Jack Harkness who may or may not accidentally get you killed in the crossfire.

Cas seems to be the only hammer angel we’ve seen still alive. Everyone else has just been bandages, these healing angels. Gadreel’s greatest strength is to bring people back from the dead. Muriel watched over the plants and animals of the world. Ephraim took people’s pain away through death. It may be good to stack your odds with the only hammer who seems to be alive.

Though Cas has made A LOT of really bad choices in the recent past, everything ze has done with the Winchesters is a blimp in time in ze’s life. Cas probably did a lot of things that brought pride and respect to hir name before ze met the frigging Winchesters and started screwing up in the angel’s eyes.

Nobody really wants to be a leader. Why not place the person who’s the outcast in the least wanted space? Find a leader afterwards and use Cas as a scapegoat later? To many angels, Cas did break heaven.

I’m pretty sure the angels are running out of options. Many angels don’t have bodies that will hold them well and are probably running out of angel mojo just like Cas. They all need to rejuice soon, and teaming up with people who broke the Apocalypse is probably a good way to break into heaven.

Honestly, most angels are probably like what Dean suspected all those years ago - naive. They’re babies when it comes to the human plane of being and many just can’t handle living in a world filled with hunger and choice and pain. It may be easy for them to want to follow Cas because of Cas’ experience in the human world and they’re the type of people you could tap on the other shoulder and they’d look over there instead of at you every single frigging time.

Even if they don’t believe in Cas, would you rather stay with the guy who at least try to make a better heaven when ze was cray cray or the guy who’s killing angels willy nilly just ‘cause ze can?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BREE BREE BREAKDANCE

In honor of the 21st birthday of Miss BreeBreeBreakdance, I have written a tiny little thing as a token of friendly affection. Inspired by this lovely little strip she drew. I hope it isn’t terrible.

Also I apologize if anything is glaringly inaccurate, I’m drawing off vague memories of my time working in a preschool and I kind of just winged it.

Title: The Knight and His Prince

Synopsis: In which Nijimura probably doesn’t get paid enough for this shit, and Hanamiya Makoto is a bad influence.

AU: Preschool AU

Pairing: Kiddie Akashi/Furihata pre-slash; could be interpreted as hinted others

Word Count: 1,100+ (Sorry it’s not very long, BreeBree!)

Can be read under the cut. 

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jbt111886  asked:

Hi, delurking again. I'm actually cool with the recent Sam-spoilers. To me it makes sense that Sam acted one way at the end of S7 with Dick dead and Dean presumed dead/Heaven, versus now, when Sam KNOWS that Dean is missing, not dead, and that Crowley, who Sam finds responsible for it, is walking free. Especially once Sam realizes Dean, who he loves more than life, is now the monster he's always hated and feared. Not surprising at all that Sam would be screwed up and destructive.

jbt111886

said:

So it makes perfect sense to me that Sam would get pretty sketchy and stabby trying to get Dean back. I see him killing a lot of demons and being pretty obsessive and brutal in general. But yeah, I am concerned about JA’s bit about Dean being “a little upset.” I hope Dean is indeed just a little upset, and that this doesn’t turn into yet another Big Fight.

I’m combining your asks here. I don’t have issues with Sam doing some sketchy things to get Dean back. I really can’t have an issue with Sam getting obsessive and brutal. The thing is, killing lots of demons? He does that already on pretty much a weekly basis. Killing demons, when they aren’t smart enough to “go to sleep” and show the host is pretty much Sam’s job description. So that doesn’t fit into the way the spoilers have been worded. DemonDean might well be upset if Sam is killing demons. Returned to normal Dean (assuming that happens) isn’t going to cry over a few or even a hundred or a thousand demon deaths. As I said, that’s part of the job description. What bothers me are the statements that we will have to ask which one is the REAL monster, human Sam or demon Dean. Dean is not only a demon, he’s the successor to Cain. Cain founded the Knights of Hell, who by all accounts, were the biggest baddest demon force in the history of the world. They made Azazel and Lilith look like pikers. So for us to even THINK that Sam may be more of a monster than Dean means Sam has to wreak more destruction than Cain, or Azazel or Lilith. That bothers me. It bothers me because, if this is not misdirection, it smells of keep Dean better than Sam and always make sure Sam is the bad guy. From what Carver says, this will not be Dean stans spinning it. It will be the writers DELIBERATELY writing Sam to be evil. I don’t want to watch a show, where my favorite character, one I always thought was working from a moral POV, is deliberately being shown to never be good enough. I don’t want the show to decide that Sam really was never pure or clean and will always be darker than any demon ever dreamed of being. I just don’t want it! It bothers me for other reasons. I bought that Ruby was trying to stop the Apocalypse. I fell for it. After season four I had to listen to Kripke snidely telling the audience that anyone who ever, under any circumstance though a demon was good was a fool. It was actually a pretty crappy thing to say to the part of the audience that bought Ruby’s con. If now, Dean bearer of the MOC is, in fact, a good demon then it undercuts that underlying mythology as well. It means Sam wasn’t wrong about being able to trust a demon. He just has crappy judgement as to which demon to trust, while Dean, yet again!, has perfect judgement and is the perfect person. Finally, my impression is that some of this is to make sure Sam “understands what Dean did”. There is tons of meta out there explaining that Sam already knows why Dean did what he did. That Sam has lived through the same desperation as Dean did in 9.01. My issue is that no matter how fast they tap dance, Sam’s situation is 180 degrees away from Dean’s in season nine. Dean went against Sam’s expressed wishes, wishes that Sam stated before he was in the coma. Dean said outright that Sam would never accept possession by an angel. Sam will be honoring Dean’s wishes as expressed before he became a demon. Dean said he didn’t want to be what he was turning into. I haven’t seen anything to say that Sam will be happy to leave Dean a demon as long as that means Dean is breathing. So anything Sam does will be in accordance with Dean’s wishes before his soul was corrupted.  Also, both Sam and Dean were willing to die. Sam lived because Dean intervened via Gadreel possession. Dean “lives” not because of anything Sam did, but as a result of his OWN actions. Even if Sam was planning to summon Crowley to bring Dean back to life, he didn’t do it. It’s like planning to kill someone, going to their house and finding they dropped dead of a heart attack 10 minutes before you got there. No matter what you might have planned, you didn’t kill the person and you can go away with your soul unsullied and no threat of criminal charges. Sam going a little nuts and being a badass is fine. Sam becoming worse that a demon who CHOSE his own path is not fine for me.