so, sorry if someone has mentioned this before, but i saw a post about how humans were apex predators a little while ago, and one of the points it mentioned was that it’s cause humans have such a wide diet you don’t find in a lot of other animals. plus, we’re pretty poison resistant to things that would hurt/kill most other animals (we’re the only species that is lactose tolerant as the norm, chocolate isn’t poison to us, plus other things that surprised me and i wish i had kept the post :c)
what if most aliens have limited things they can eat? the Susutians can only eat plant matter of a specific color, or Luttans can only eat certain meats from certain types of insects on their planet. so, when they come to earth they’re all like ‘on so what do you eat?’ and they’re thrown through a loop at what choices we have! and they find out that a LOT of the food we eat on the regular is super poisonous to a majority of the known universe!
like, “oh hey, human-steve, thank you for visiting my planet. we’re about to eat the meal of the tirid sun, will you join us?”
“o yeah cool what’s the apple looking thing on that tree?”
“apple….. oh, you mean the highly poison and deadly Punnadix Fruit? those are a scourge of my peopl- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
“uh….. eating it? it’s delicious?”
cue an alien having a heart attack, or whatever the equivalent is. on top of all the other weird shit they’re known for, this makes then rise higher in the list of ‘creatures we are REALLY glad are on our side’.
On a bleak wintry day, a cyclist journeying through Saddleworth Moor made an unusual discovery. Down the embankment lay the corpse of a man who looked like he could be asleep. “At first, I thought he might have been lying down enjoying the view.” His eyes were open and his arms were lying across his chest in a relaxed manner. However, it was the cold weather and torrential rain that struck Stuart Crowther as unusual. It wasn’t until he got closer, that he realised that the man was dead.
Pathologists who worked on the case have taken to calling him “Neil Dovestone” after the name of the reservoir on Saddleworth Moor near to where he was found. He had no personal possessions on his body when he was found, apart from £130 in his pocket. This suggests that, if he committed suicide, he didn't want anybody knowing his identity. He has certainly succeeded in that, as nobody can work out where he came from, or who he is. It has been determined that Neil caught a train from London to Manchester and then travelled to the Moors from there. The last person who spoke to him was the landlord of a local pub. Neil had asked him for directions to the top of the mountain: “I told him there’s not enough daylight for him to get there and back today. He just thanked me and asked me again for the directions, which I repeated to him. And he just set off.” 21 hours later, his body was found. But why did he travel 200 miles to die in this particular spot?
Recently, high traces of Strychnine (A pretty rare poison) have been found in his body following a third autopsy. Police had previously found a bottle of this substance by his body, so they traced the batch. It was made in Pakistan, as it’s no longer legal in the UK. Now this is where it gets interesting: Neil also had a plate fitted in his leg, probably following an injury. The plate was manufactured and fitted in Pakistan. It seemed unusual that he would have connections to the country, but he had evidently travelled there to have the operation. Someone suggested that he had lived there and had travelled over to the UK, but demographically, this is highly unlikely as Neil was a Caucasian man in his mid-sixties to early seventies:
Police have been appealing for information since December, but have no strong leads. Those desperate to solve the case live in hope that even people who wish never to be found will always leave clues behind. But for now, all the answers stay hidden with the body called Neil Dovestone, still lying in the Oldham hospital morgue.