prettier than you

why are ball jointed dolls so pretty i don’t even like dolls i want to punch myself in the eyes this isn’t fair stop being prettier than me you are made of plastic and the repurposed souls of dead poetry 

Headcanon that yuuri and mari used to get into yelling matches as kids and their parents would separate them only for yuuri to ALWAYS want the last word. He’s about to stomp away to his room in a huff, but then he pokes his head around the corner to have one more go at Mari with some backhanded comment like “mom loves me more because im prettier than you!” and mari chases him up the stairs, yuuri screaming.

hamilton characters as things my teammates have said
  • alexander hamilton: wait no that was a mistake i didn't mean to pass to you- I DONT LIKE YOU
  • hercules mulligan: why do our uniforms have to be this color im crying eternally
  • john laurens: my 100 year old turtle is prettier than you
  • eliza schuyler: okay so i brought cupcakes for the other team too but i didn't know how many people they were so i brought like fifty and i dropped them on the way here
  • angelica schuyler: some kid just gave my five bucks not to score ima keep the money and score
  • peggy schuyler: WHY DOES NO ONE PASS TO ME I KNOW IM SHORT BUT IM HERE
  • king george: whatever peasants help me up you hoes
  • george washington: did your parents raise you to sit around and eat Doritos all day? doritNO
  • maria reynolds: [going up to a random stranger] do you have three bucks for the vending machine
  • philip hamilton: ew sports what is sports why do i play a sport i should've stuck to poetry - I SUCK AT THAT TOO
jealous + jeff atkins

plot : y/n is jeff’s secret girlfriend but she gets jealous when other girls talk to him and has to show everyone/and him, who’s he is

word count : 1270

notes : jealous!reader

++++

Walking into school, your eyes searched for someone in particular.  You found him with his friends, leaning again his locker surrounded by his usual group of friends. He caught your eye, quickly looking away but a smile burst onto his face. You strode past him, moving to your own group of friends. You could feel a pair of eyes on you and you knew who they belonged to.

“Hey, Y/N’s here!” your best friend, Kat hollered.

Your other friends all turned and smiled at you. You returned it, but furrowed your eyebrows. They were acting odd.

“We have news” one of your other friends chorused.

“We think Jeff might be into you. You know the one on the baseball team? Hot Jeff?” another blurted.

You were stunned for a mere second before you regained your composure and laughed.

“Guys, there is no way Jeff Atkins is into me” you glanced at Kat, with a sly smile on your face.

Kat was the only one of your friends that knew about you and Jeff’s relationship. Kat tried to hide her smug smile,

“He’s been looking at for the past few weeks and you should’ve seen how he smiled when you walked in this morning”

You smacked her on the arm for feeding into this gossip and she put her hands up in surrender.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do something about that then” you winked at them playfully, making all of your friends laugh, unaware of the truth.

“Oh, better act fast then because, Tracy’s on the same mission”

You turned around to see a girl leaning against his locker. They were laughing about something. She was pretty, prettier than you in your opinion. You trusted Jeff, you knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of envy as you watched him openly laugh with that girl. You two had agreed to keep your relationship a secret until he got his grades up since his parents thought a relationship would distract him. But seeing him talk to that girl so freely, laughing and joking, you realized that could’ve been you instead. But you were used to this feeling so you brushed it off.

“No but Tracy and Jeff would be kinda cute, I mean they’ve been working on a chemistry project together for the past weeks and they’re adorable in class” one of the girls in your circle, thought out loud.

“Have they now?” you muttered.

“Yeah and I reckon they would be a pretty good couple”

You glared in their direction,

“I bet”

+

“Hey Y/N, so I have this chem- ”

Jeff yelped as you pulled him into your room by the front of his shirt, swiftly shutting the door behind you with your foot. You pushed him into the wall next to the door, pressing your body to his, trapping him between you and the wall. Jeff’s eyes widened at your position, looking at you questioningly with big eyes. 

“Y-Y/N what’s going on?”

You didn’t reply verbally, simply pressing your lips to his instead. He instantly reacted to the kiss, moving his hands to your waist, squeezing gently. You let your hand rest on the back of his neck while another sat on his shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent and you ignored it. You shoved your tongue into his mouth, but he pulled away as soon as you did.

“What’s up though?” he whispered, leaning his head back onto the wall. 

You dodged the question, answering with another question.

“You’re okay with this aren’t you?” you responded.

“Well yeah of course…” Jeff stopped for a second, gathering his words but you had already taken that opportunity.

You untangled yourself from him and lifted his shirt over his head, You smiled slyly at the sight of his bare body. You couldn’t help but smash your lips back onto his. He accepted you for a few heavenly seconds before pulling away again.

“No seriously, what’s going on?” Jeff asked, worry in his eyes.

“Does it matter?” you panted, looking up into his eyes, getting restless. 

“It does, I don’t want my girl- oh my god”

You had attacked his neck with kisses, sucking a bit longer than necessary with each. You ran your hand up the dips of his toned abs, getting a groan in return. You moved up to his jaw, pecking his lips before making a path down again. You hit just the right place, near the crook of his neck, making Jeff moan in response.

“Y/N”

You smirked at this, trailing your hand down to his belt buckle. You pulled him closer to you but before you could proceed to undoing it, Jeff pulled away for the third time.

“I’m serious, what’s going on with you? You’re not like this normally…” he muttered, breathlessly.

You took a deep breath, you didn’t want to tell him the real reason you were all fired up. You hated being the typical jealous girlfriend.  At your silence, Jeff spoke again.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s super hot but I just want to know if there’s anything wrong and I want to help if there is”

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, looking at you with those concerned eyes. Those adorable eyes that you fell in love with. Jeff was so different from the other jocks that he called his friends. A normal guy wouldn’t have questioned this but Jeff, being Jeff, was always thinking about your well being.

“I got jealous” you muttered.

You knew from the surprised look on his face that he heard you. You never really got jealous. Girls always flirted with him and you didn’t blame them.

“What was that?"he asked with a cheeky grin.

That little-

"I got freaking jealous okay?!”

And then he burst out laughing. The nerve of him. You looked away, anger bubbling in you.

“Of who?” he got out in between fits of laughter.

“That girl you’re doing the chemistry thing with”

You finally looked back into his amused eyes.

“Worried that we had chemistry?”

You slapped his chest at the terrible pun. That’s when you finally noticed the red and purple marks all over his neck and collarbone. It was your turn to laugh now.

“Well I won’t have to worry anymore” you smirked.

He eyed you suspiciously before following your gaze. You watched as his eyes widened dramatically and he looked to you like a gaping fish.

“Y/N, how the hell am I meant to cover this up? Everyone will notice!”

"Perfect”

BONUS

“Jeff, man it’s like 500 degrees out, take that scarf off” Jess groaned.

“Uh, no I’m okay” Jeff replied awkwardly.

“Well, I’m getting sick of it” Marcus stated, ripping it off Jeff’s neck before he could protest’

The whole group silenced. Why did Jeff have to wear a v-neck today?

“Oh look who got some last night” Bryce cheered.

“Aww, look at our little Jeffrey growing up. I thought you didn’t do one time things” Justin teased.

Jeff had turned a bright shade of red.

“Damn dude, do we know the girl? Because she’s pretty hardcore” Monty chuckled, eyeing the marks that covered a large portion of his neck and shoulder.

Jeff took a deep breath, playfully glaring at you from across courtyard. You caught his gaze, laughing and winked at him.

God, he loved you.

mermaid au sentence starters

HUMAN POV

“Are you poisonous?”
“Can I try to pick you up?”
“How is your hair so soft?”
“Why don’t you get pruney?”
“Can you be eaten like sashimi?”
“Have you ever fought off a shark?”
“You’re even prettier than legends say.”
“You speak our language surprisingly well.”
“I thought mermaids were supposed to be pretty.”
“Here, taste this. It’s a human drink called alcohol.”
“Is it true that you can erase memories with a kiss?”
“Wait! Please don’t leave! I’m not going to hurt you!”
“If I fall in love with you, does that mean I’m into zoophilia?”
“If you could get rid of your tail for legs and feet, would you?”
“So, like… were you hatched from an egg? Or born like a shark?”
“Should I build a house on the beach so we can always be together?”

MERMAID POV

“Do I scare you?”
“Your bathtub is too small…”
“Go ahead. You can touch me.”
“You have to stop coming here.”
“People are coming. I have to go.”
“Can you take me back to the ocean?”
“Why is there an eel between your legs?”
“Why is there a clam between your legs?”
“My scales are sharp. Please don’t touch them.”
“Did you really go out and buy me a kiddy pool to lay in?”
“I’m not just a fish. Stop treating me like I’m beneath you.”
“I’m getting dehydrated. Can you spray me with the hose?”
“Can you stop staring at me? You’re making me uncomfortable.”
“I cant live on land, and you cant live in the water. We cant be together.”
“If I leave the ocean for you, and you fall out of love with me, I’ll die. You have to know this.”
“That’s not a pool. That’s a deep hole with muddy water. You cant expect me to swim in that.”

Fun comp het things

“Um I’m definitely not gay I’m looking at that other girl’s boobs because I want my boobs to look like that haha”

“I’m not gay I love guys!! Just because I’ve never met a guy in real life that I have ever wanted to come into physical contact with ever doesn’t mean I’m not A MegaHet!!! I love Chris Evans”

“I’m just not in a position in my life where I want to date any guys right now… nor have I ever been in a position where I want to date guys but I’m Straight I Promise”

“Thinking about having sex with other girls? That’s just things all straight girls do haha… Because I’m thinking about stuff that guys would find hot, obviously”

“Theoretically I could see myself with a faceless and featureless man who has no discernible human characteristics in the future! Haha my dream man, you ask? Uh, we’ll he’s got hair, a face, eyes probably…”

“No I Don’t Only Get Crushes On Unattainable Guys Who Will Never Like Me Back Cara Shut Your Mouth”

“Girls are just prettier than boys, you know? Because like, girls can wear makeup and stuff. Even though girls without makeup are still prettier than boys. This Is Heterosexual And Science Trust Me”

“Um haha yeah I like him but I don’t want to be around him or talk to him or touch him ever haha what do you mean that IS normal haha”

“Listen,, me having 18 girl crushes is Normal and Heterosexual who doesn’t wanna fuck Kristen Stewart”

“Um straight girls can also like Hayley Kiyoko”

“I don’t really think I wanna get married because I don’t want to be tied down?? I definitely wanna live with my lady best friend when I’m older though we can have sleepovers every night and cook together and cuddle while we watch movies haha she’s the best and I love her and never want to be without her ever. But ew I definitely don’t want to get married I’m scared of commitment haha”

It’s not a compliment when you say a transwoman is “prettier than you omfg 😱” or

You’re saying that you can’t believe that she is beautiful even though she is trans, or that you assume a transwoman should be ugly and that this one individual is an exception