pretending to know what i'm doing

people have no idea what its like to be 14 and have everyone telling you that you’re faking and pretending to be ill for attention or to skip art class and the doctor’s telling you you’re ‘just being a teenager’ when you actually had a serious kidney disease

if someone hadn’t eventually listened to me i would have died

Please, please support self-diagnosed teenagers, don’t pretend they’re not really disabled, don’t belittle or mock them, don’t exclude them from disabled spaces and for the love of god don’t pretend you know more about them than they do

The signs as I know them

Aries: a fiercely protective lover, continuing an argument when you know you’re wrong, passionate loyalty, pushing past your comfort zone, fights that turn into sex, standing outside in the rain and screaming. Freedom. impulsive behavior. Loud and intense. Home.

Taurus: comfort food. Staying in bed on a rainy day. Smart but stubborn. Quiet calculations. Staying up all night talking. Outer space. Lazy days.

Gemini: books and coffee. Friendship tattoos. Smart and resilient. Beautiful. Making friends wherever you go. Two types; either wildly successful and organized like Pinterest in real life or a chaotic mess. Prone to addiction. Living art.

Cancer: musically inclined. Long walks downtown. Deep intellectual talks that leave you feeling calm but exhausted. Ambition. Second chances.

Leo: Staying up too late and drinking too much. Laughing until you can’t breathe. Doing your makeup drunk. Irresponsible decisions that make for good stories. Platonic kissing. Being held when you’re sad. Loyal friendships. Loud and exciting. Not talking for months and picking up where you left off.

Virgo: White furniture. Homemade Halloween costumes and holiday crafts. Careful and calculated. Cleaning for fun. Alphabetized book cases. Never saying ‘I told you so’ even when you’re always right. Motherly. Nurturing.

Libra: memes. Vibrant and super friendly. Always smiling. Eager to please and doesn’t like to disappoint. Goal oriented, and unstoppable once they have an idea. Surprise parties. Pretending you aren’t in love when you are.


Scorpio: staying up all night watching horror movies. Secretive and endearing. Will hold a grudge forever. Cemetery dates. Rough sex. The sound of a thunderstorm outside of your window. Feeling warm in a cold room. Extreme emotional intelligence.


Sagittarius: wanderlust. Forgetting to text back for days at a time. Always somewhere far away; unreachable. Feeing alone in a crowded room. Getting stoned and cuddling in bed all day. Japanese art. Staying out past curfew. Singing like nobody’s around. Inconsistent and deeply conflicted. Anime. Saying we’d still be friends.


Capricorn: Pretending to not like people but being really lonely. Cold. Immaculate attention to detail. Ambitious and unyielding. I haven’t met that many Capricorns.

Aquarius: Talking about alchemy and aliens all night. Doing drugs because I felt sad and you’re a good friend. Listening to me cry about a boy you told me was bad for me. Feels a lot more than they pretend to. Fireball whiskey. Marijuana.

Pisces: Knowing things before you’re told. Crystals. Tarot cards. Your life is a wreck but you always know what to say to help others. Die hard loyalty. Organized mess. Daydreaming all day. Boxed wine. Drunken yoga. A warm hug and a feeling of security. Selfless love.

the signs as ways i've answered "are you a boy or a girl?"
  • Aries: fuck if i know
  • Taurus: i am groot
  • Gemini: what are my other options?
  • Cancer: i am a train wreck and train wrecks do not have genders, they only have pain
  • Leo: go ask a magic eight ball, you'll get an easier answer
  • Virgo: the gender binary is a lie and i'm too busy saving $15 or more on my car insurance to talk about it
  • Libra: i'm fine, how are you?
  • Scorpio: *doesn't answer, pretends they never asked*
  • Sagittarius: i'm a racoon living in your attic
  • Capricorn: are you professor oak?
  • Aquarius: bitch i might be
  • Pisces: no. no, no, no....no.
Batfam as things my coworkers have said
  • Bruce, overheard on the phone as he's leaving WE: Wait, your brother is at work? (...) Oh thank god, that means I can sleep when I get home.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, giving Duke a tour of the Batcave: I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Everyone's really nice here. Except for Jason.
  • Jason, from across the cave: That's messed up!
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie: *sees Cass's hand is bandaged up* Oh my god, are you okay?
  • Cass: Yeah, I just stabbed myself. It's fine.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: What, you think that because you're bootylicious, you can do whatever you want?
  • Jason, nodding: Yeah, pretty much.
  • ---------------
  • Damian: Alfred knows everything, he just pretends that he doesn't.
  • Alfred: Well, somebody needs to know something around here.
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie, inspecting Tim's under-eye circles: You need some makeup, fam. That shit is unsettling.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, to Roy: I hereby name you an official member of the family!
  • Jason: It's a trap, dude. You don't wanna be part of this family.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: Has anyone seen my coffee?
  • All: No.
  • Tim: Looks like it sucks to be Steph today. *picks up Stephanie's coffee and walks away*
  • ---------------
  • Duke: You've gotta be crazy to work here.
  • Jason: You don't HAVE to be crazy. We can always train you.
  • ---------------
  • WE Employee: *walks into Bruce's office to hear a loud alarm coming from his computer while Bruce fills out paperwork, seemingly unperturbed*
  • WE Employee: How can you just sit there and listen to that?
  • Bruce: Do you have any idea how many kids I have?

Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but if I was hiding a lost special, and I had planted a billboard-sized clue in one of my episodes with the words “on March 8th the secret will be unleashed,” I would almost certainly release a teaser on BBC One featuring a glitching Moriarty saying “You didn’t think that was the whole story, did you?” and if not that I would definitely put a surprise minisode on YouTube with the announcement for the upcoming lost special at the end… either one would get lots of buzz and people reassessing their impressions of series 4 and going back to do what all of us have been doing all along, looking for clues and playing the game they’ve laid out for us within the show itself… get everybody intrigued and excited again for this history-making insane wish fulfillment etc etc… who knows about Mofftiss I’m just saying that’s what I’D do…

anonymous asked:

Okay this is super random (and not technically fan fiction) but if yuri on ice was a live action show, who would you want to play the main characters? I know this is random and not related (but technically it's fan fiction-y related) however I'm curious what you think!!

(This is going to be a REALLY long post, sorry hahaha)
I LOVE this question! I’m only going to put actors/models on here, but I do know many skaters who would be amazing as well! (Yuzuru Hanyu, Michael Christian Martinez, Evgeni Plushenko are a few! I could make another list for that if you’d like!) 


Yuuri Katsuki: Kento Yamazaki

(Japanese actor)

I mean??? LOOK AT THIS MAN

SO PERFECT I’M IN LOVE

So cute!!

UM OKAY I’LL JUST PRETEND I’M ALIVE YEP THAT’S FINE I’M FINE

Kento Yamazaki + Flowers = 😍

When I watched YOI, this is who I thought of instantly (besides Yuzuru Hanyu, of course!)


Victor Nikiforov: Vasiliy Stepanov 

(Russian Actor)

(I know Kubo said she used John Cameron Mitchell as a visual reference and I think he’d be awesome as Victor, but I also think that this actor would be great as well! And I know what you’re thinking, “Hailey this doesn’t look like Victor!” I KNOW!! Victor is too perfect to be compared to any mere mortal, BUT hear me out! Imagine this man with the platinum hair, swoopy bangs, and straight eyebrows… *dies* 😍)

UMMMMMMMM HELLO THERE, SIR!!!! 

*faints*

I’ll just leave this here… 😍

I DIDN’T KNOW V-NECK TSHIRTS COULD BE LIFE-THREATENING BUT NOW I KNOW


Yuri Plisetsky: Emil Andersson 

(Model)
(I couldn’t find anyone younger, so just imagine this is an aged-up Yurio haha)

The hair!

Look at that expression! Is this Emil or moody Yurio???


Minako Okukawa: Yukie Nakama

(Japanese actress, singer and former idol)

She’s beautiful!


Christophe Giacometti: Gaspard Ulliel

(French Actor)

The green eyes! The scruff!! I’m in love!!!

HE EVEN HAS THE SAME GLASSES I’M YELLING


Phichit Chulanont: Jirayu La-Ongmanee

(Thai actor)

SO CUTE OMG!

HE’S HOLDING A PLANT LOVE HIM

He needs to be protected at all costs!!! 💙


Mila Babiceva: Natalya Rudakova

(Russian-American actress)

She looks exactly like Mila??? I’m SHOOK


Jean-Jacques Leroy: Brant Daugherty

(American Actor)

The eyebrows… the eyes!


Yuuko Nishigori: Saki Aibu

(Japanese Actress)

So pretty!


Otabek Altin: Sanzhar Madiyev

(Kazakhstani Actor)

Just shave off the ‘stache and he’s Otabek!


Those are my picks, what are yours? Let me know in the replies!

How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:
  1. go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
  2. tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
  3. pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
    1. you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
    2. you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
    3. you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
    4. you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
    5. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.
tfc characters as things i've heard at college
  • dan: "you know, when i applied to college i didn't realize i was selling my soul to the devil"
  • kevin: "i'm a athletic"
  • andrew: "i was like, who the FUCK touched me"
  • matt: "oh jesus fucking christ what am i doing?"
  • aaron: "megan, stop. no one likes you"
  • seth: "dude it's not even 9 in the morning shut the fuck up. please."
  • allison: "i had to blow dry my hair bc i walked outside and it froze"
  • nicky: *professor says something* "that was bullshit"
  • renee: "hey, god? end this"
  • neil: "do u think if i just pretend to drop dead right now or faint she'll move the test back?"
  • riko: "i have no life by the way"
  • jean: "i cried until i fell asleep last night"

[Slow, dramatic standoff music plays in background. Screen is dark. A white light flashes from the left side of the screen to the right with a sharp SHING sound, and the screen turns bright. Eyes open between thick black bars at the top and bottom of the screen, comic-like.]

Artist: “So…”

[Eyes narrow.]

Artist: “… we meet again.”

[Cut to back of Artist. Artist pans to the right as camera rotates to the left, revealing the rectangular silhouettes of the opponents. Music intensifies.]

Artist: “My nemeses.”

[Cut to Artist’s hand gripping hard on a pencil. Quickly cut to Artist’s mouth tightening in a grin. Voice low and strained.]

Artist: “Background and Perspective.”

[Dramatically zoom in on the two rectangles that turn into open PS documents filled with lines and blotches of colour.]

Let me tell you a secret. No one is ever ready for anything. Everyone is just stumbling along, pretending that they know what they’re doing and where they’re going, because if they can convince everyone else that they have a plan, they’re one step closer to convincing themselves.
—  from an unfinished story #741

anonymous asked:

Do you think jimin notices when kookie is staring? (i think he does but just pretends he's oblivious, this little sexy mochi shit knows what he's doing omg) Like legit someone else could be talking but then you see kookie turning his head and staring at jimin and when jimin finally looks at back him kookie looks away. I'm so weak for this stuff ghjfcvxv (btw you made me ship kook/min)

I would be really worried if he doesn’t notice something this:

Originally posted by sugutie

Or this:

Especially since JK like.. doesn’t blink sometimes. But for real, Jimin knows. Oh, he knows..

^ Source.

^ Source. That’s the look of a manggae who knows he’s got it all, okay.

If I was in charge of the Batman movie, I’d make the trailer go like this:

We see Gotham City. Dramatic music plays as the camera pans over the city. You see Wayne Manor, the Batmobile. You see Wonder Woman, Flash, Cyborg, and Superman, standing in a line as Batman walks away. Diana asks, “Have you ever had a team before?” and Bruce doesn’t respond.

Then the music changes to something sadder, nostalgic on Bruce’s face as he turns away from the JL and walks out of the room. A booming voice-over says “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Flying Graysons!” 

A little boy’s voice says, “Try and catch me, you big boob!”

Ryan Potter says, “Batman needs a Robin, Bruce.”

A girl, “I missed this.”

A cheerful girl says, “Enemy of crime and people who don’t like purple.”

Another girl says, “I’d like to see you try and stop me from being Batgirl.”

And a boy says “Tt. You’re shorter than I expected.”

Bruce says, as he is almost completely covered in shadows, “I work alone.”

There is then a montage of someone pulling on purple gloves, pushing on glasses, pulling on a cowl, blue and black fingers grabbing an eskrima stick, a yellow cape being put on, someone’s black mask over her black hair, a gun being loaded.

Then it shows the six of them standing on a roof, just a quick shot, then it goes to the title card. 

BATMAN, BATGIRL AND ROBIN: THE LEGACY

then it shows Bruce in civilian clothes, pushing open a door while he’s calling someone on his phone. He freezes, and it shows Dick doing a handstand with Damian balanced on his feet while Tim and Cass are filming it. Bruce sighs. 

“You know what, Selina, I’m gonna have to call you back.” 

angry angsty memes
  • "Stop PRETENDING that I matter to you! Stop looking at me like I mean something - this! Stop THIS!"
  • "I know. Okay? I know, but you keep looking at me like I'm some sort of wounded animal."
  • "Since WHEN?! Since when has it been okay to go behind each other's backs like that?"
  • "I thought we were friends."
  • "Oh, you really led me into that one, didn't you?"
  • "What, did you think it was funny? Making me care?"
  • "This isn't going to be okay just because you APOLOGISE!"
  • "I don't WANT our friendship! I don't WANT to work for it, I don't want ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"
  • "Is that it? Do I SCARE you? You think I'd HURT you - are you AFRAID?"
  • "Believe me, you don't want to make me mad."
  • "Get out of my way."
  • "Were you planning on telling me? Not now! It didn't even have to be now, but EVER?"
  • "WHERE WERE YOU? Where were you - the ONE TIME I need you, the ONE TIME I ask for help and you can't be bothered to show up?"
  • "What, and you think that this is enough for me? You think that this - whatever this is, you think this is always going to be enough?"
  • "Don't talk to me."
  • "Get out of my house."
  • Bucky: (side-eyeing Sam) (speaking in Russian) So Natasha, what am I supposed to do with this Sriracha stuff?
  • Natasha: (in Russian) It's spicy, put it on anything, it's really good. Why are you glaring at Sam like that?
  • Bucky: (in Russian) I'm pretending to talk shit about him. Is it good on eggs?
  • Natasha: (in Russian) Oh, fantastic. I'm going to glare at Steve and pretend to talk shit. Yes, it's great on eggs.
  • Bucky and Natasha: (scowling at Sam and Steve)
  • Sam: The fuck is going on over there.
  • Steve: I don't know but I don't like it.
  • Bucky: (in Russian) This is the most fun I've had since 1944.
  • Natasha: (high-fives Bucky)
  • sasuke: ugh, you're so sweaty dobe, go take a bath
  • naruto: okay
  • naruto: want to join me?
  • sasuke: no
  • naruto: fine
  • naruto: I guess I'll just pretend you're in there with me
  • sasuke: what-
  • naruto: kidding, bastard, it was just a little, uh...
  • sasuke: joke?
  • naruto: yeah, one of those... you know how I am... always, uh, joking around...
  • sasuke: ...
  • naruto: I mean, why would I be thinking about you when I'm in there, naked
  • naruto: that's just weird
  • naruto: ne sasuke, I told you, remember?
  • naruto: you're like a brother to me
  • sasuke: ...
  • naruto: but, I mean, we're not actually related
  • naruto: I've always wondered how it is between real siblings, like...
  • naruto: do you ever think of your brother when you-
  • sasuke: no
  • naruto: but you didn't even-
  • sasuke: no

anonymous asked:

I really want to come out as nonbinary, but I feel like I'll never have the courage. I've been putting it off for years. I'm sick of hiding my identity from everyone, but the idea of telling even close friends is terrifying. what if they don't understand? what if they're dismissive? i just really don't know how to do this. do you have any advice?

My advice is this: WAIT.
I know, I’m supposed to say Bust that closet door open, be bold, tell the world!
But that doesn’t work for everybody. If you’re terrified, just wait. It’s ok to wait.

What you’re waiting for, is the moment when being closeted and pretending feels LESS SAFE than anything that could happen when you tell people. 💛💛💛💛

Fake Chats #166
  • Jungkook: hey, so I was thinking-
  • Taehyung: no.
  • Jungkook: I didn't even say what I was thinking yet!
  • Taehyung: I know what you're thinking and I also know what Jimin's answer is and I'm answering for him: no.
  • Jungkook: that's his answer?
  • Taehyung: Jimin was gonna say yes, but I'm vetoing that.
  • Jungkook: why?
  • Taehyung: because. I can. Best friend rights.
  • Jungkook:
  • Taehyung: best friend and soulmate and 5-liner rights.
  • Jimin: I can speak for myself, you know.
  • Taehyung:
  • Jimin: I do not!
  • Jungkook: actually, you do always give in to me.
  • Taehyung: bug off, Kookie. You weren't invited to this party.
  • Jungkook: there's a maknae line wavelength too, guys.
  • Jimin: do I really think that loudly?
  • Yoongi: yes.
  • Taehyung: Kookie thinks louder.
  • Jungkook: you think the loudest.
  • Taehyung: yeah? What do I think all the time?
  • Jungkook: who even knows. Just because we can hear you doesn't mean we actually know what you're thinking. It takes a best friend soulmate sort of person to know that.
  • Yoongi: Jimin's really smug about that.
  • Jungkook: stop pretending you're tuned into our wavelength, hyung. We can all see the smugness on his face.
  • Yoongi: yeah, well, you don't know what I think about Hopi.
  • Taehyung: sure we do.
  • Yoongi: you do?
  • Jungkook: it's a really loud wavelength.

we tried hard to stand it. we

were barely human. we were bodies

stacked with pain. we never said sorry,
didn’t wanna. you were always drunk
& sad & too far gone for that. I was
terrible & I didn’t care about being better.
but now you’re standing in my bedroom.
now you’re scared & you say you
wanna get into heaven. you wanna

stand in some form of light that isn’t
filtered through clouds of crude smoke.
good luck, & who knows, maybe god
will forgive us for all of this. the stones
we threw, the ankles we bit, the people
we kissed. showing up at the gates
with our tails between our legs.

starved & mad, two dogs who missed
their last meal, licking our wounds &
itching for a fair fight.

there so much to get mad about.
go ahead pick something. imagine
if it helped. imagine if mattered.
I didn’t cry when you left. I just
circled ‘round the block & waited
for you to come back. because
you always do. because I know
how this goes. we pretend we
aren’t the same & then we realize
we are & we pretend we don’t care.
we need each other & that’s all we do.

it’s crazy the things you do for a friend.

it’s crazy the way you’ll act for love.