pretending to know what i'm doing

people have no idea what its like to be 14 and have everyone telling you that you’re faking and pretending to be ill for attention or to skip art class and the doctor’s telling you you’re ‘just being a teenager’ when you actually had a serious kidney disease

if someone hadn’t eventually listened to me i would have died

Please, please support self-diagnosed teenagers, don’t pretend they’re not really disabled, don’t belittle or mock them, don’t exclude them from disabled spaces and for the love of god don’t pretend you know more about them than they do

get you a musical who can do both
  • Hamilton: I catch a glimpse of the other side. Laurens leads a soldier's chorus on the other side, my son is on the other side! He's with my mother on the other side! Washington is watching from the other side! Teach me how to say goodbye, rise up, rise up, rise up, Eliza... My love, take your time. I'll see you on the other side.
  • also Hamilton: I'm a general! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!
  • Spring Awakening: All things he ever lived are left behind. All the fears that ever flickered through his mind, all the sadness that he'd come to own.
  • also Spring Awakening: Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. Totally fucked
  • Spelling Bee: I think Dad is angry, Mom, and I do not know what to do... I think he takes out on me what he wants to take out on you. Mama, Mama, Mama! How I wish you were home.
  • also Spelling Bee: My unfortunate erection is destroying my perfection
  • Next to Normal: Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head? Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead? It's like living on a cliffside, not knowing when you'll dive. Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?
  • also Next to Normal: Valium is my favorite color
  • Dear Evan Hansen: I guess I wanted to believe, 'cause if I just believe, then I don't have to see what's really there. No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts. Pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am, 'cause then I don't have to look at it.
  • also Dear Evan Hansen: iF i sTOP SmOKInG CrACK-
  • Falsettos: What more can I say? How am I to face tomorrow, after being screwed out of today? Tell me what's in store. Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow if I could hold you for one hour more.
  • also Falsettos: I'm bitching, he's bitching, they're bitching, we're bitching, bitch bitch bitch bitch funny funny funny funny bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
  • Great Comet: So easy to close off, place the blame outside. Hiding in my room at night, so terrified. All the things I could have been, but I never had the nerve. Life and love I don't deserve!
  • also Great Comet: says the mean old man in his underthings
  • In the Heights: "Alabanza" means to raise this thing to God’s face and to sing, quite literally, “Praise to this.” When she was here, the path was clear. And she was just here! She was just here...
  • also In the Heights: he's packing a stretch limousine
  • Groundhog Day: I thought the only way to better days was through tomorrow, but I know now, I know. Yes, I know now that I know... nothing.
  • also Groundhog Day: suck my balls i'm out
The signs as I know them

Aries: a fiercely protective lover, continuing an argument when you know you’re wrong, passionate loyalty, pushing past your comfort zone, fights that turn into sex, standing outside in the rain and screaming. Freedom. impulsive behavior. Loud and intense. Home.

Taurus: comfort food. Staying in bed on a rainy day. Smart but stubborn. Quiet calculations. Staying up all night talking. Outer space. Lazy days.

Gemini: books and coffee. Friendship tattoos. Smart and resilient. Beautiful. Making friends wherever you go. Two types; either wildly successful and organized like Pinterest in real life or a chaotic mess. Prone to addiction. Living art.

Cancer: musically inclined. Long walks downtown. Deep intellectual talks that leave you feeling calm but exhausted. Ambition. Second chances.

Leo: Staying up too late and drinking too much. Laughing until you can’t breathe. Doing your makeup drunk. Irresponsible decisions that make for good stories. Platonic kissing. Being held when you’re sad. Loyal friendships. Loud and exciting. Not talking for months and picking up where you left off.

Virgo: White furniture. Homemade Halloween costumes and holiday crafts. Careful and calculated. Cleaning for fun. Alphabetized book cases. Never saying ‘I told you so’ even when you’re always right. Motherly. Nurturing.

Libra: memes. Vibrant and super friendly. Always smiling. Eager to please and doesn’t like to disappoint. Goal oriented, and unstoppable once they have an idea. Surprise parties. Pretending you aren’t in love when you are.


Scorpio: staying up all night watching horror movies. Secretive and endearing. Will hold a grudge forever. Cemetery dates. Rough sex. The sound of a thunderstorm outside of your window. Feeling warm in a cold room. Extreme emotional intelligence.


Sagittarius: wanderlust. Forgetting to text back for days at a time. Always somewhere far away; unreachable. Feeing alone in a crowded room. Getting stoned and cuddling in bed all day. Japanese art. Staying out past curfew. Singing like nobody’s around. Inconsistent and deeply conflicted. Anime. Saying we’d still be friends.


Capricorn: Pretending to not like people but being really lonely. Cold. Immaculate attention to detail. Ambitious and unyielding. I haven’t met that many Capricorns.

Aquarius: Talking about alchemy and aliens all night. Doing drugs because I felt sad and you’re a good friend. Listening to me cry about a boy you told me was bad for me. Feels a lot more than they pretend to. Fireball whiskey. Marijuana.

Pisces: Knowing things before you’re told. Crystals. Tarot cards. Your life is a wreck but you always know what to say to help others. Die hard loyalty. Organized mess. Daydreaming all day. Boxed wine. Drunken yoga. A warm hug and a feeling of security. Selfless love.

the signs as ways i've answered "are you a boy or a girl?"
  • Aries: fuck if i know
  • Taurus: i am groot
  • Gemini: what are my other options?
  • Cancer: i am a train wreck and train wrecks do not have genders, they only have pain
  • Leo: go ask a magic eight ball, you'll get an easier answer
  • Virgo: the gender binary is a lie and i'm too busy saving $15 or more on my car insurance to talk about it
  • Libra: i'm fine, how are you?
  • Scorpio: *doesn't answer, pretends they never asked*
  • Sagittarius: i'm a racoon living in your attic
  • Capricorn: are you professor oak?
  • Aquarius: bitch i might be
  • Pisces: no. no, no, no....no.
What ur fav PKMN region says about you
  • Kanto: Likes animals, underestimated, but extremely determined. Strong morals.
  • Johto: Unpopular opinions, petty, but usually right. Don't test them because they have Receipts on u from before u started talking.
  • Hoenn: Mom friend, sends sweet texts to friends, helps u when ur down. Takes bad things in stride (even if they are salty).
  • Sinnoh: Either the best or worst person. No in between. If you think you're one, you're probably the other.
  • Unova: You don't know what's going on really but that's ok, you either pretend you do or you just dip. Loud and proud though.
  • Kalos: You try not to complain too much and usually don't talk a lot in groupchats. The sting of rejection is a common feeling.
  • Alola: Super Extra™ (and probably won't admit it) but nice. Usually butts heads with other fans & has to get the last word in.
Batfam as things my coworkers have said
  • Bruce, overheard on the phone as he's leaving WE: Wait, your brother is at work? (...) Oh thank god, that means I can sleep when I get home.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, giving Duke a tour of the Batcave: I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Everyone's really nice here. Except for Jason.
  • Jason, from across the cave: That's messed up!
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie: *sees Cass's hand is bandaged up* Oh my god, are you okay?
  • Cass: Yeah, I just stabbed myself. It's fine.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: What, you think that because you're bootylicious, you can do whatever you want?
  • Jason, nodding: Yeah, pretty much.
  • ---------------
  • Damian: Alfred knows everything, he just pretends that he doesn't.
  • Alfred: Well, somebody needs to know something around here.
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie, inspecting Tim's under-eye circles: You need some makeup, fam. That shit is unsettling.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, to Roy: I hereby name you an official member of the family!
  • Jason: It's a trap, dude. You don't wanna be part of this family.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: Has anyone seen my coffee?
  • All: No.
  • Tim: Looks like it sucks to be Steph today. *picks up Stephanie's coffee and walks away*
  • ---------------
  • Duke: You've gotta be crazy to work here.
  • Jason: You don't HAVE to be crazy. We can always train you.
  • ---------------
  • WE Employee: *walks into Bruce's office to hear a loud alarm coming from his computer while Bruce fills out paperwork, seemingly unperturbed*
  • WE Employee: How can you just sit there and listen to that?
  • Bruce: Do you have any idea how many kids I have?

Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but if I was hiding a lost special, and I had planted a billboard-sized clue in one of my episodes with the words “on March 8th the secret will be unleashed,” I would almost certainly release a teaser on BBC One featuring a glitching Moriarty saying “You didn’t think that was the whole story, did you?” and if not that I would definitely put a surprise minisode on YouTube with the announcement for the upcoming lost special at the end… either one would get lots of buzz and people reassessing their impressions of series 4 and going back to do what all of us have been doing all along, looking for clues and playing the game they’ve laid out for us within the show itself… get everybody intrigued and excited again for this history-making insane wish fulfillment etc etc… who knows about Mofftiss I’m just saying that’s what I’D do…

How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:
  1. go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
  2. tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
  3. pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
    1. you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
    2. you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
    3. you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
    4. you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
    5. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.

anonymous asked:

Okay this is super random (and not technically fan fiction) but if yuri on ice was a live action show, who would you want to play the main characters? I know this is random and not related (but technically it's fan fiction-y related) however I'm curious what you think!!

(This is going to be a REALLY long post, sorry hahaha)
I LOVE this question! I’m only going to put actors/models on here, but I do know many skaters who would be amazing as well! (Yuzuru Hanyu, Michael Christian Martinez, Evgeni Plushenko are a few! I could make another list for that if you’d like!) 


Yuuri Katsuki: Kento Yamazaki

(Japanese actor)

I mean??? LOOK AT THIS MAN

SO PERFECT I’M IN LOVE

So cute!!

UM OKAY I’LL JUST PRETEND I’M ALIVE YEP THAT’S FINE I’M FINE

Kento Yamazaki + Flowers = 😍

When I watched YOI, this is who I thought of instantly (besides Yuzuru Hanyu, of course!)


Victor Nikiforov: Vasiliy Stepanov 

(Russian Actor)

(I know Kubo said she used John Cameron Mitchell as a visual reference and I think he’d be awesome as Victor, but I also think that this actor would be great as well! And I know what you’re thinking, “Hailey this doesn’t look like Victor!” I KNOW!! Victor is too perfect to be compared to any mere mortal, BUT hear me out! Imagine this man with the platinum hair, swoopy bangs, and straight eyebrows… *dies* 😍)

UMMMMMMMM HELLO THERE, SIR!!!! 

*faints*

I’ll just leave this here… 😍

I DIDN’T KNOW V-NECK TSHIRTS COULD BE LIFE-THREATENING BUT NOW I KNOW


Yuri Plisetsky: Emil Andersson 

(Model)
(I couldn’t find anyone younger, so just imagine this is an aged-up Yurio haha)

The hair!

Look at that expression! Is this Emil or moody Yurio???


Minako Okukawa: Yukie Nakama

(Japanese actress, singer and former idol)

She’s beautiful!


Christophe Giacometti: Gaspard Ulliel

(French Actor)

The green eyes! The scruff!! I’m in love!!!

HE EVEN HAS THE SAME GLASSES I’M YELLING


Phichit Chulanont: Jirayu La-Ongmanee

(Thai actor)

SO CUTE OMG!

HE’S HOLDING A PLANT LOVE HIM

He needs to be protected at all costs!!! 💙


Mila Babiceva: Natalya Rudakova

(Russian-American actress)

She looks exactly like Mila??? I’m SHOOK


Jean-Jacques Leroy: Brant Daugherty

(American Actor)

The eyebrows… the eyes!


Yuuko Nishigori: Saki Aibu

(Japanese Actress)

So pretty!


Otabek Altin: Sanzhar Madiyev

(Kazakhstani Actor)

Just shave off the ‘stache and he’s Otabek!


Those are my picks, what are yours? Let me know in the replies!

anonymous asked:

So do you ship klance? Couldn't tell

i know it’s kind of hard to tell…………… 

but like……..

if you look…… really closely………….. 

really really closely…… 

you’ll notice that maybe…. 

just maybe…………. 

i might… kind of have a soft spot for them,,,,,,,,,, 

it’s rlly hard to see tho so I understand that you had to ask :’)

tfc characters as things i've heard at college
  • dan: "you know, when i applied to college i didn't realize i was selling my soul to the devil"
  • kevin: "i'm a athletic"
  • andrew: "i was like, who the FUCK touched me"
  • matt: "oh jesus fucking christ what am i doing?"
  • aaron: "megan, stop. no one likes you"
  • seth: "dude it's not even 9 in the morning shut the fuck up. please."
  • allison: "i had to blow dry my hair bc i walked outside and it froze"
  • nicky: *professor says something* "that was bullshit"
  • renee: "hey, god? end this"
  • neil: "do u think if i just pretend to drop dead right now or faint she'll move the test back?"
  • riko: "i have no life by the way"
  • jean: "i cried until i fell asleep last night"

If I was in charge of the Batman movie, I’d make the trailer go like this:

We see Gotham City. Dramatic music plays as the camera pans over the city. You see Wayne Manor, the Batmobile. You see Wonder Woman, Flash, Cyborg, and Superman, standing in a line as Batman walks away. Diana asks, “Have you ever had a team before?” and Bruce doesn’t respond.

Then the music changes to something sadder, nostalgic on Bruce’s face as he turns away from the JL and walks out of the room. A booming voice-over says “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Flying Graysons!” 

A little boy’s voice says, “Try and catch me, you big boob!”

Ryan Potter says, “Batman needs a Robin, Bruce.”

A girl, “I missed this.”

A cheerful girl says, “Enemy of crime and people who don’t like purple.”

Another girl says, “I’d like to see you try and stop me from being Batgirl.”

And a boy says “Tt. You’re shorter than I expected.”

Bruce says, as he is almost completely covered in shadows, “I work alone.”

There is then a montage of someone pulling on purple gloves, pushing on glasses, pulling on a cowl, blue and black fingers grabbing an eskrima stick, a yellow cape being put on, someone’s black mask over her black hair, a gun being loaded.

Then it shows the six of them standing on a roof, just a quick shot, then it goes to the title card. 

BATMAN, BATGIRL AND ROBIN: THE LEGACY

then it shows Bruce in civilian clothes, pushing open a door while he’s calling someone on his phone. He freezes, and it shows Dick doing a handstand with Damian balanced on his feet while Tim and Cass are filming it. Bruce sighs. 

“You know what, Selina, I’m gonna have to call you back.” 

[Slow, dramatic standoff music plays in background. Screen is dark. A white light flashes from the left side of the screen to the right with a sharp SHING sound, and the screen turns bright. Eyes open between thick black bars at the top and bottom of the screen, comic-like.]

Artist: “So…”

[Eyes narrow.]

Artist: “… we meet again.”

[Cut to back of Artist. Artist pans to the right as camera rotates to the left, revealing the rectangular silhouettes of the opponents. Music intensifies.]

Artist: “My nemeses.”

[Cut to Artist’s hand gripping hard on a pencil. Quickly cut to Artist’s mouth tightening in a grin. Voice low and strained.]

Artist: “Background and Perspective.”

[Dramatically zoom in on the two rectangles that turn into open PS documents filled with lines and blotches of colour.]

Climb up the H of the Hollywood sign, yeah
In these stolen moments, the world is mine 
There’s nobody here, just us together 
Keepin’ it hot, like July forever

  • Bucky: (side-eyeing Sam) (speaking in Russian) So Natasha, what am I supposed to do with this Sriracha stuff?
  • Natasha: (in Russian) It's spicy, put it on anything, it's really good. Why are you glaring at Sam like that?
  • Bucky: (in Russian) I'm pretending to talk shit about him. Is it good on eggs?
  • Natasha: (in Russian) Oh, fantastic. I'm going to glare at Steve and pretend to talk shit. Yes, it's great on eggs.
  • Bucky and Natasha: (scowling at Sam and Steve)
  • Sam: The fuck is going on over there.
  • Steve: I don't know but I don't like it.
  • Bucky: (in Russian) This is the most fun I've had since 1944.
  • Natasha: (high-fives Bucky)
the mars signs, basically
  • mars in aries: "u know what. FUCk everything. why doesnt life just give me what i want!!! life is so SLOW and BORING and i want ADVENTURE why can't things just HAPPEN MY WAY for ONCE!!!" *someone tells them to chill* "who tf are you??? are you trying to fight me????? ok i dare you FIGHT ME"
  • mars in taurus: *bad stuff happens* "lol im fine" *more bad stuff happens* "@ life are u trying to provoke me...try harder it aint working" *the worst thing that could possibly happen happens* "OK THATS IT IM AT MY LIMIT. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN THINK WTF WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME. anyways im actually totally chill haha let me just suppress my feelings it'll be ok :)"
  • mars in gemini: "oh, i see! you think i'm wrong. i'm truly sorry to hear that some pitiful creatures like you find my beautiful mind so complex that you can't comprehend anything i'm saying. i'm sure that, for SOME people, it is indeed a bit too complex hahah lmao (:"
  • mars in cancer: "fine, whatever. u may have said something rude but it's ok im just gonna ignore that" *later* "that fUkcin bitch...i'll show them later, trust me. i'll just wait for the right moment and destroy them when they least expect it"
  • mars in leo: "??? did u just insult me or one of my interests ??? lmao first of all, HOW DARE YOU. second of all, YOU ARE WRONG. i am so beautiful and awesome and such a great friend and THIS is how u repay me??? i'm worth so much more than this. you are disgraceful. i am disgusted"
  • mars in virgo: "i hate everything. NOTHING is going right and i am FALLING APART. honestly i don't even remember the last time something good happened in this world. why are people always annoying me? why is school always annoying me??? why is LIFE always annoying me????? can everyone just STOP"
  • mars in libra: *someone points out that they need to get their life together* "bitch...what? i'm fine...what are you talking about.....my life is 100% under control!!!" *procrastinates everything* "wtf why do i have so much work??? i am dying under all the pressure i hate everything NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL"
  • mars in scorpio: *on the outside* "okay you know what fuck you im so over this it's over" *on the inside* "i know all ur weaknesses, honey...and trust me, you will regret it. you think i'm over this but i'm definitely not lmao watch ur back"
  • mars in sagittarius: "wtf bitch i hate u, what do you think of yourself??? how dare u disagree with me and say rude stuff to me ugh don't talk to me ever again" *after like 8 minutes max* "omfg the other day i was listening to the duck song and i was thinking about how much you'd like it i mean i bet you've already heard it but it's absolutely hilarious u should watch the video it went viral on youtube hahaha" *someone asks if they've gotten over their anger* "what anger? ...oh thAT. lmao whatever who cares about that, have you heard the duck song?"
  • mars in capricorn: "yeah i'm pretty fucking upset right now, things definitely did not go the way i expected them to. anyways that's just life. i'm over it. i'm just gonna...try and distract myself.....and pretend nothing happened...because that'll help me stop thinking about my shitty life...probably"
  • mars in aquarius: *on the outside* "i guess ur right. maybe what ur saying is the right thing to do :) :) :)" *on the inside* "...excuse me hoe.....ur wrong, i'm right. u can't tell me what to do. i'm well-aware of what i'm doing, if u think i'm gonna listen to anything u tell me to do ur 100% wrong bye"
  • mars in pisces: *accidentally offends someone, someone asks why they're mad* "honestly i'm not totally sure why i'm mad. i didn't even know i was mad until you pointed it out. i mean there are the usual reasons for being mad...people are horrible, life just generally sucks. so yeah im probably just generally mad lmao no worries"
Things the Signs are thinking the most
  • Aries: I want to be accepted by people. I need approval.
  • Taurus: I want to be known as more than just a person.
  • Gemini: I am not just some backstabbing bitch. If someone would just connect with me.
  • Cancer: I have a serious problem and I don't know how to handle it.
  • Leo: I don't want people to worry about me, but I hate pretending I'm okay all the time.
  • Virgo: I play it cool, but I'm really NOT okay right now. I need someone to know that without me telling them.
  • Libra: I really miss you. I doubt any of it matters to you anymore but I miss you.
  • Scorpio: I'm conflicted. I don't want to be known as the asshole. I'm a kind and true person
  • Sagittarius: I am no longer in control anymore. I feel confused and I don't know what to do.
  • Capricorn: I fucked up and I don't know how to fix it.
  • Aquarius: I have to talk to someone but I don't trust anyone to talk to.
  • Pisces: Why do people like me? How can you like someone who doesn't even like who they are?