pretending to be deaf

A Perfectly Ordinary Ladynoir Story

In hindsight, falling into Chat Noir’s arms was usually a mistake.

“Are you sure you couldn’t see yourself falling for a guy like me?”  

Ladybug let out a snort, eyes rolling behind the black and red mask as Chat lowered the pair of them to the ground.

“Really?” Ladybug laughed, somewhat incredulously, nodding over Chat Noir’s shoulder. “We got a jilted tailor that’s got the city in stitches-”

“Nice one,” Chat said, tearing through the side streets as red thread chased after him.

“Thank you,” Ladybug said, yo-yo lashing out and batting away a needle zeroing in on Chat’s back. “You really want to bat those eyelashes at me now?”  

“Might be our last chance,” Chat said, leaping up and over the roof-tops and landing in a low crouch, depositing his partner on the rooftop. “Sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me? Maybe one last kiss before the icy hand of death envelops us both.”

“Later,” Ladybug said, throwing an arm out to shield Chat Noir as The Fashionista grappled up onto the ledge, needles clutched in her hands as she zeroed in on the pair before her. “Unless you want to find out what a pincushion feels like.”

“I’ll hold you to that later, Buggi,” Chat Noir said, extending his baton with a flick of his wrist.

“Somehow I knew you would,” Ladybug sighed, latching onto a weather vane and swinging out of the way of a hail of needles as Chat Noir flanked the akuma around the side.

Perched on the edge of the rooftop, Ladybug watched Chat drop the now de-evilized victim on the doorstep of her parent’s house, shooting a salute and a wink at her mother. He was, at his core, a corny little tomcat, who couldn’t miss an opportunity to act like he was auditioning for the remake of The Princess Bride.

Of course, that made it harder for Ladybug to take him seriously.

He was a tease, and part of Ladybug resented Chat for flirting like his words had no effect. Chat had winked, hand-kissed, and flirted his way through every girl they ran into. Even as he left the former Fashionista, he couldn’t part without offering her a kiss on the hand before springing up to the roof where Ladybug was waiting.

“She okay?” Ladybug asked.

“Fine, fine,” Chat said, rolling his shoulders with a small sigh. “Little rattled, of course, but I figured that much; not every day some weirdo brainwashes you and makes you his flunky.”

“That what the hand kiss was for?” Ladybug asked, brow arching in Chat’s direction.

“Was I really supposed to ignore a lady in distress?” Chat snorted, turning to his partner with a slowly spreading smile. “Jealous?”

“You wish, man,” Ladybug snorted.

“…maybe I do,” Chat Noir said, hands leaning on the top of his staff, glancing across at his partner with a small smile that made Ladybug’s heart skip a beat. “I wouldn’t mind if said you didn’t like me kissing other people.”

“You know…you do this thing where you almost look sincere when you say stuff like that,” Ladybug said, head cocking to one side. “I almost forget you’re joking.”

“…when did I ever say I was joking?” Chat replied, soft enough that Ladybug almost didn’t catch it. And it was easy for Ladybug to pretend that Chat’s confession fell on deaf ears; easier than confronting the truth that he might actually be sincere in his endless teasing. Easier than wondering how their relationship might change were Ladybug to call him on his bluff, pull him in by his bell collar, and kiss him so hard he never even dreamed about flirting with anyone ever again.

Instead, Ladybug opted for certainty, offering a fist for Chat to clumsily brush his knuckles against as though they didn’t each want a little more. 

The moment the transformation wore off, Tikki tore into the box of cookies on the desk in a hail of crumbs that scattered over the half-finished calculus homework.

“Hey, hey, watch it!” Nino said, picking the kwami up by her back and pulling her away from his desk. “I don’t think my teachers are going to buy the fact that my pocket-ladybug got food all over my homework!”

“Shorry,” Tikki said, swallowing a mouthful of chocolate chips. “Long day.”

“You’re telling me,” Nino said, flopping belly first onto his bed, the afternoon replaying in his head as Tikki floated over.

“…you know, you wouldn’t be the first Ladybug to fall in love with Chat Noir,” Tikki said, patting the back of Nino’s head as he buried his burning face in his pillows.

“Just…eat your cookies,” Nino groaned.

  • Anders: (out of absolutely fucking nowhere) I can't imagine what Hawke sees in you
  • Fenris: Stop. It's over between us.
  • Anders: Oh good, I always thought he had some sense.
  • Fenris: Don't make light of it, leaving Hawke was one of the hardest things ive ever done
  • Hawke and Varric: (both AGGRESSIVELY loot hurlock corpses and pretend to be deaf) MAN THE DEEP ROADS SURE ARE SPOOKY AMIRITE
She Can Hear You

Pairing: Sam x Reader
Words:  1078
Requested by Anonymous:  Can I please get a Sam oneshot where the reader temporarily goes deaf (though they al think it’s permanent) and Sam takes the opportunity to repeatedly tell her how he feels about her and then the deafness wears off but she doesn’t tell him because she likes hearing what he says, though he finds out somehow and is embarrassed before she tells him she loves him too? 

          The explosion was deafening. Literally. Your ears started ringing. And then there had been nothing.

           When Sam and Dean found you, you had tears rolling down your cheeks. You had somehow let them know you couldn’t hear. They looked almost as scared as you felt. What were you going to do?


Sam’s Point Of View

           It was terrible, really. The fact that Y/N couldn’t hear was terrifying for all of us. I hated seeing how distraught she was. Seeing her like that made me sad. She had been so full of life. Now, she was just sitting around, not doing anything.

           “I wish you could realize how amazing you are,” I sighed, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Y/N’s back was to me, so she couldn’t read my lips or see that I was talking to her. But for some reason, that helped me open up to her. I would have never had the courage if she actually had her hearing back.

           “That’s not fair, Sam,” Dean said from behind me, making me jump.

           I turned and looked at him, “What?”

           “You can’t confess your love to her when she can’t hear you. That’s not fair. To either of you,” he said.

           “Dean, I can’t really tell her.”

           “Coward,” Dean accused.

           “It’s just … it’s complicated.”


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I’m going to go with injury for this one! And a hint of Klance because I have no chill. 

When Keith stumbled during training, his ankle twisted awkwardly, and he fell to the ground with a sharp hiss.

He desperately called out for an end to the simulation he was fighting just before the robot swung a blade down on him.

The slightest jostle of his ankle left him wincing, but soon enough, he was positioned with his legs stretched out in front of him. He carefully tugged his pant leg up, and he could see the swelling and feel the heat without even removing his shoe. 

“Fuck,” he spit out, hands hovering above the obvious sprain, but when he heard footsteps echoing from the hall, he swallowed down the nausea stemmed from the pain and struggled to his feet just as Lance and Shiro walked in.

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things clint barton canonically does:

- shoots arrows in a subway tunnel until he passes out because he got dumped

- becomes more gleeful after buying arrows

- feels inferior to Captain America in the looks department 

- beats a bad guy purely through using a bow that NO ONE ELSE CAN DRAW

- deafens himself in order to not kill someone and then pretends he’s not deaf ‘cos he’s embarrassed

- marries someone AFTER A WEEK

INTJ Tip: Learn Sign Language

I started learning American Sign Language a few years ago, and it’s one of the best decisions I ever made. I suggest it to everyone, but if you’re a naturally unexpressive introverted night-owl (like many INTJs are) it comes even more highly recommended.

Here’s my reasons why…

1. If you learn it with other people you hang around with, you can use it when you really don’t feel like talking. This is great if you hate talking in the morning or just when you’re enjoying the silence and don’t want to break it, but still have something to say.

2. If you are naturally inexpressive person, and want to become more naturally expressive, sign language helps a lot. There’s nothing wrong with being inexpressive, but a lot of times it makes communicating with other people harder. (If you aren’t very expressive, you know what I mean.) Sign language forces the speaker to exaggerate their motions and facial expressions to properly covey their point. Thus you become comfortable expressing yourself more often and are more used to doing it.

3. Like any other language, you can talk about things and people in front of other people who don’t know the language.

4. You can easily talk through windows and across large or noisy spaces instead of trying to shout.

5. If you don’t want to talk to an extroverted random stranger who decides to strike up a conversation, pretend you’re deaf/mute and sign something to them. 9 times out of 10, they will drop the conversation.

6. If you’re sick and your throat hurts, you still have a painless way of communicating.

You want me to 

cover up my chest,

and my smile,

and my hands.

You want me to

be soft,

and quiet,

and small.

You want me to

give my freedom,

and my expression,

and my voice.

You want me to


and forget,

and surrender.

You want me to


and sacrifice, 

and compromise.

You want me to,

keep smiling,

and laughing,

and pretending.

I want you to

go blind,

and deaf,

and mute.

-Eliot Knight

Prisoner’s Dilemma

@godlingcaptainchristina, your wish is my command, though I admit that the ear infection is more of a minor plot device here than anything. Still, I think the fluff will (hopefully) make up for it.

E/R, Joly/Bossuet, Modern AU, shenanigans. All of the shenanigans. Also a fairly lengthy discussions of penises at one point. If you’re at all wondering how the Prisoner’s Dilemma, an ear infection and a discussion of penises tie together, this is the fic for you.

“Dare I even ask?” Enjolras sighed, rubbing his forehead and glaring at Joly, Bossuet and Grantaire, who were seated side-by-side in front of him and conspicuously avoiding looking at each other.

Joly let out what sounded like a hiccup and shrugged, holding the icepack over his eye, while Bossuet whistled under his breath and stared up towards the ceiling. Grantaire, on the other hand, was tugging on his ear and wincing. “I think there’s something wrong with my ear,” he said, his voice louder than normal.

Enjolras snorted. “There’s about to be something much more wrong with you than your ear,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You three–” He said three as though it was a dirty word. “–Come here today, the day we’re meant to be meeting as a group with several influential aldermen about city regulations on public protests, and Joly looks like he’s been decked in the face, Bossuet can’t appear to speak, and Grantaire can’t hear and whose ear also appears to be leaking.”

Grantaire looked horrified. “My ear is squeaking?”

“Leaking,” Joly said loudly. “And it’s nothing to worry about. Just a bit of discharge.”

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False Hope (Sleepless Part 2) [Hux x Reader]

Part 1

Summary: The reader is temporarily transferred to the Finalizer to oversee their maintenance department and unexpectedly runs into Hux, who she rejected just months before.

Warnings: None that I know of! Lmk if I missed anything!

Word Count: 6000+

“I can’t take her with me, Ohon. I can’t risk it.” You stood in Ohon’s quarters, holding a fidgety Millicent. Recently, she never seemed to want to stay in your arms.

Ohon furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sure that there aren’t any precautions you can take?” he questioned.

You sighed. “I’ve been taking precautions ever since I found her, but she seems to get everywhere she’s not supposed to. There’s not going to be anyone to help me keep her a secret on the Finalizer. I won’t be gone forever, and if anyone finds her, you can appeal to Hux.” You set the cat down and let her run around the apartment.

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★*゚‘゚・Blue Valentine (2010)

❝When’s she going to get back?❞
❝I’m sleeping!❞
❝Don’t laugh. Come on, don’t laugh!❞
❝C'mon, eat, you can’t be late today.❞
❝We gotta get a dishwasher…❞
❝I’ll do it. Come on let me do it.❞
❝I love you.❞
❝…love you❞
❝C'mon. What’s the big deal?❞
❝Cheer up man. God wants you to be happy.❞
❝God’s a woman and she’s pissed off at me.❞
❝Didn’t think you were gonna make it.❞
❝Is something wrong?❞
❝Why do you gotta make me beg? I know there’s something wrong. It’s gonna come out eventually. Just tell me.❞
❝Come on silly. Let’s go in and get dry.❞
❝Hey man… Can I have a slice of that pie?❞
❝Whoa whoa. You gonna break your neck homey. Look down.❞
❝Gonna happen to you someday too.❞
❝Look how handsome he was.❞
❝Wait up. We gotta do this right…❞
❝What are we going to tell her?❞
❝Here! Let’s get the fuck out of here.❞
❝ I don’t want to hear any excuses. We’re going. We deserve it. One night. Because we belong to each other. Pick a room.❞
❝You’re crazy….❞
❝Come on let’s go get drunk.❞
❝Pack our bags. We’re going to the moon!❞
❝…So, you been faithful to him?❞
❝That’s a strange question to ask someone you haven’t seen in forever.❞
❝I’m a strange person.❞
❝It’s hard to be faithful. I don’t know if monogamy is possible, especially if you’re a man…❞
❝To see yourself in your kid’s face… I never experienced anything like that.❞
❝That’s better. You’re right. It never gets to be just quiet. You know?❞
❝Did you get everything?❞
❝You look like your mom.❞
❝Get that fucking dog out of the kitchen!❞
❝Are you kidding me? How long does it take to make a meatloaf? Five minutes? You mean to tell me that you didn’t have five minutes to make a meatloaf? I been up since six this morning busting my fucking ass and you don’t have five minutes to make a meatloaf?❞
❝ Well, what gave you the idea that any of us needed a change? Did you ask for a change?❞
❝Sorry? What good is sorry now?❞
❝It looks like you have a new neighbor.❞
❝Can I have a cigarette?❞
❝I didn’t just steal that.❞
❝You think I just stole that money?❞
❝I have stolen money before… a lot of it. And I know what it feels like to have someone look at you like that…❞
❝Can I give you my number or something.❞
❝Who’s this? …How do you know I’m your father?❞
❝…Well, I love you more. Sleep tight.❞
❝You’re crazy you know…❞
❝Hasn’t anyone ever been nice to you?❞
❝Don’t make me give up on you…❞
❝I just keep replaying it in my head. Thinking about other things I coulda done. Other things I coulda said.❞
❝…And you have all these ideas in your head about how you’ll act and what you’ll say and what you’ll do, who you’ll be……And then the opportunity comes, it presents itself to you, living and breathing in the flesh, and you puss out.❞
❝It’s okay, I mean, I get it. It’s not your fault.❞
❝Can I walk with you?❞
❝What are you gonna be when you grow up?❞ 
❝You going to be a doctor?❞
❝You’re gonna be a good doctor. I can tell.❞
❝I wanna smell like you. Can I?❞
❝Mmm. Your lips must taste good.❞
❝Are you fucking with me?❞
❝You are just gonna stay up all night?❞
❝Where’d you grow up?❞
❝Where do you want to go? I mean, if you could go anywhere..❞
❝Sometimes you don’t make any sense. You might as well be speaking Chinese.❞
❝I’m her father. She isn’t there for me…I’m there for her. That’s the way I look at it.❞
❝You have so many things you could do. You’re good at everything. You could do anything you wanted.❞
❝You think that’s good that we’re different?❞
❝You know, we rarely sit down and have a conversation. An adult conversation. Because every time we do, you turn something that I say around and make it mean something that I didn’t mean to say. You just blab. Blab.❞
❝If you’re not interested in hearing what I think I just won’t say anything.❞
❝OK. I’m going to say something. And what I’m about to say I’ve thought long and hard about. I’m the luckiest person alive because I’m living my dream - you, her, this, us, all of it.❞
❝That’s going straight to your tits.❞
❝I could still kick yer ass.❞
❝Shiiit. I bet you a nickel you can’t even beat me at arm wrestling.❞
❝Drink up. We haven’t gotten loaded together in years.❞
❝  Hey…that’s not funny? How come you don’t think I’m funny any more? I tell you something funny. You laugh. I see you laugh. But you don’t really laugh so much. You don’t laugh anymore _______.❞
❝You’re drunk.❞
❝No, I’m just still in love with you.❞
❝Do you… you want to have another baby?… I want another child.❞
❝What!? I can’t have sex with my wife!?❞
❝I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…❞
❝You let that asshole knock you up?❞
❝You’re not in this alone. This baby is ours. It’s us. Let’s start a family.❞
❝…And I got nothing better to do than destroy you both. If you think I’m being evil, you have no idea, no idea at all… I’m growing very impatient and I really don’t give a fuck anymore…❞
❝Think I’m dumb? Think I’m that dumb?❞
❝I think you’re a fucking idiot.❞
❝I don’t remember asking you for help❞
❝How could you look at yourself in the mirror and pretend it’s not there? How long have you been pretending?❞
❝Where’s my wife?❞
❝There’s nothing wrong with me.❞
❝Yeah, are you deaf or are you just dumb?❞
❝I was going out of my mind. I didn’t know if there’s an emergency. I didn’t know if ________ was hurt. Did you think about that?❞
❝Live your life.❞
❝Please don’t make me be alone.❞
❝Are you drunk?❞
❝You don’t think about anyone but yourself. Do you?❞
❝You got no time for me anymore.❞
❝You give it all to them. All these people who don’t give a shit about you. They get the beautiful version of you. What does your family get? Nothing. You come home and you’re empty. You think I don’t notice?❞
❝You! What about me? I gave up everything for you.❞ 
❝Take what? What can’t you take… The truth? I know you can’t… You never could.❞
❝I don’t love you anymore… Why can’t you stop loving me?❞
❝Oh my god. Call 911. I’m going to call 911.❞
❝I stole these for you.❞
❝Promise me one thing… you’ll never let me become an adult.❞
❝Don’t love each other? I’ve only ever loved you.❞

I really do not think it is too much to demand an apology/some acknowledgement of biases from everyone who publicly dropped Zayn last year over a few (over exaggerated) mistakes while remaining mum on Harry Styles who, just in the past week, promoted his music off the back of Brexit, BLM, and Trump, pretty much called a fan he injured a liar, and participated in slut shaming his ex on national television (and don’t even get me started on the “hard candy” lyrics in Kiwi). 

Like, stan who you want, obviously, but you’re an asshole and absolutely complicit in racism if you can drag the brown man for making an ignorant comment but pretend to be deaf, dumb, and blind to all the shit the white man is pulling.

iKON REACT: To another idol flirting with you

This was so much fun NGL. xD

Scene: There’s an idol that has been increasingly showing interest in you, and getting bolder each time.

B.I.: He wouldn’t be able to contain himself. *cue smexy/PO-ed/sassy Hanbin* “WTF do you think you’re doing you lil b**ch, get out of her face, your voice sucks, it’ll make her go deaf.”

Originally posted by junhwe-koo

Jinhwan: Pretends to be fine and even flashes a fake smile. But really he’s pretty pissed. That little piece of ish thinks he’s so damn clever with those cheesy pick-up lines.

Originally posted by lyrikon

Bobby: Enough was enough. “Oh no you didn’t just wink at her bud.” *must be restrained by Chanwoo*

Originally posted by yooneroos

Yunhyeong: Although he’s laughing and smiling, don’t be fooled. He’s angry and ready to rip the other idol to shreds. *must be restrained by Donghyuk*

Originally posted by taehyunss

Later to you: “If he does anything like that again…” *gif*

Originally posted by teambgasm

Junhoe: *rolling his eyes every time the other idol spoke* Oh please…someone make him shut up.

Originally posted by junhwe-koo

Later to you: *sassy Junhoe mode full blown* “Did you hear him? What was he even saying? His pronunciation sucked and his vocals were all over the place.” *gif*

Originally posted by f-yeahdonghyuk

Donghyuk: I don’t think Donghyuk would ever be super easily pissed off at anyone, but when that idol crosses the line by hugging you really tightly. Nope, nope, nope.

Originally posted by vinegarboy

Chanwoo: He’d imitate the idol to embarrass them, cause no one touches you so freely. *cue sassy maknae whilst unni-Junhoe watches proudly* “Great job Y/N-ah! You were amazing!”

Originally posted by ikonis