pretending to be a salad

“I would like, stare at my salad, and that was like really the first time I ever really had like flashes of the whole world like falling apart of collapsing. Like, the salad just didn’t make any sense at all, if that makes any sense. Like, ‘what the hell is happening, why is there like, little pieces of plants on a plate? Like, what is going on?’ and it’s like this little moments when like nothing makes any sense at all.”

Andrew VanWyngarden.

That Got Away: A Criminal Minds Fanfiction  1/?

Inspiration: Katy Perry’s Song “The One That Got Away”

Rating: Mature      Setting: Season 4       Featuring: Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader

A/N:

I am loving all the requests and song inspired fics out there. Please let me know what you all think! Warnings: Loss of a parent (the reader is a victim’s daughter), teenage angst and sexual awakenings. I do not own any of the characters or lyrics. Enjoy the fluff, stay for the smut, sorry for the tears. xoxo Stu


You hadn’t been home to visit your dad since last summer, having taken your students to Bulgaria to study the ancient city of Mesembria over your January term. His sprawling driveway was cleared and inviting, despite the wind that had followed you from the airport. You entered the security code on the side gate, your low heels clicking on the decorative stone walkway. The entry way to the kitchen was floor to ceiling glass doors that sparkled in the morning sun. You glance inside, expecting to see your dad tinkering with his espresso machine, or maybe making a smoothie with the juicer you got him one Fathers’ Day, after he declared he was going to lose some weight that summer.

Instead, you see an empty room, the sunlight barely penetrating the stone walled room. You cautiously step through the door, keeping your left hand on the brass handle. “Dad? Are you there?”

Silence answers. You drop your bag on the table, your footfalls echoing through the cavernous room. You check your phone, verifying that your Dad hadn’t left you a message while your were in airplane mode. No calls or texts. You went around the counter and through the main hall of the house. Now panic was holding your stomach hostage, gripping your insides the further you ventured in to the unlit house.

“Dad! I know you are not asleep, where are you?” You ditch your heels and climb the winding staircase up towards the bedrooms and offices. You found him at his desk, papers on every inch of the wooden surface. His head down, you thought he was correcting papers, or absorbed in a new research endeavor. When you take a step closer, you see the pool of blood around the rollers of the chair’s feet. You scream.


Derek Morgan was on the fourth mile on his course around Locust Shade Park when the case came through. He grudgingly huffed it back to his car, hoping he could get a shower in at the locker room before making it to the conference room. The drive to the office was quick, Agent Morgan scanned the parking lot for his fellow BAU members’ vehicles. Smirking as he found that Hotch’s and JJ’s cars were the only ones in parking spaces.

After a refreshingly hot shower, Derek secured his locker throwing his ‘GO BAG’ over his shoulder, to take it with to the case briefing. He passed through the bullpen nodding to Reid and Prentiss, both nursing fresh coffees. “Any word on the case?” Derek asks in passing.

“Something about Pasadena,” Prentiss answered noncommittally.

“Pasadena?” Reid asked alerted.

“What’s up pretty boy?” Morgan asked, surprised at the younger man’s alarm.

“Cal Tech is in Pasadena, Morgan.” Prentiss answered, leading the guys to the conference room.

“Right, so you going to dial up your old honeys once we get our unsub?” Morgan teased.

Luckily for Reid, the team was assembled and JJ was set to deliver the case. On the evidence screen a wizened face was peering back at the agents. Reid fumbled in his seat.

“Professor Graham Y/L/N was found dead in his Pasadena estate this morning. C.O.D is blood loss from being stabbed by an unknown object, numerous times.” JJ began.

“Who found Dr. Y/L/N?” Reid asked before Hotch could get a word in.

JJ glanced down at her notes. “His daughter Y/N, was visiting over spring break from Columbia.”

“Is she okay?” Reid followed, which gave everyone around the table pause.

“Reid, I am guessing she is pretty shaken up. But she is cooperating with the investigation, so chances are you can ask her yourself.” Hotch stood, attempting to steer the focus back to the case. “What is this about?”

Reid was pale, even more so than usual. He cleared his throat and looked down at the file put in front of him. He closed the folder and squinted his eyes closed for a moment. “Um, you see, Dr. Y/L/N was my first graduate school advisor while at Cal Tech. He is, well, was a very good man.”

“Reid, I am so sorry.” Emily Prentiss cooed at the grieving genius.

“It’s alright,” Reid sniffed, but his eyes remained clear.”Let’s just get the unsub.”

“Wheels up in 20, it is a long flight.” Hotch added quietly.


You sat in the police station fidgeting. The recycled air, chilled your already shaken frame. The detectives had asked you questions on and off for what seemed like years. You had your carry on bag with you, since it held some exams you wanted to read over. Your eyes continuously lost focus on the size 12 font, double spaced pages. You didn’t want to think about what you looked like to the other people in that crammed hall near the front doors of the station.

Rising, you approached the reception counter. You then left a note for the lead Detective, reminding him of your cell number and that you just went out for a quick bite. It had been six hours since you had made it home, 5 hours and 52 minutes since you became an orphan. Well, technically it had been nearing twelve hours since you had become an orphan, but it was 5 hours and 52 minutes since you knew you were one. Even inside your head, you rambled. One of those eccentric things you got from your dad, the socially awkward professor. Your heart tore just a little more.


He was sixteen when he first saw you. You were seventeen, fresh from graduating from your prep school out of state. Spencer had been invited over for dinner at Dr. Y/L/N’s house after a long day as a TA. He knew the professor’s daughter was home, he was just surprised that she would look like this.

At 16, Spencer had finally grown enough to not get stares from students and faculty around campus. His intelligent eyes and thin frame were agile in avoiding direct eye contact and much physical interaction from his academic peers. He purposely dressed like the professors, which actually made him look younger. He came off as a young man in a school uniform, instead of the scholar he was. He was animatedly speaking with Dr. Y/L/N, who had given him a ride, then suddenly there was a girl in the driveway.

Her long Y/H/C locks, were thrown up in a messy bun. Her legs were bare, save for the ragged denim cut offs she wore. Spencer stared, he was frozen in place in the passenger seat of your dad’s Volkswagen. He would never forget your smile that day, even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory.

*snap snap*

Agent Morgan had shaken Spencer out of his memories.

“So you were pretty close with this guy, huh?” Derek prodded.

“He was a good friend.” Spencer nodded.

“Do you know his daughter, Y/N well?” Derek asked over his file folder.

“We’ve met, “ Spencer added, “I was taken under Graham’s wing, being such a young candidate, he was very fatherly toward me.”

“So you had a sibling-like relationship with his daughter?” Derek mused, surprised that he hadn’t heard of you before.

“What? No, “ Spencer flustered, “She was in private school when I started working with Dr. Y/L/N, she was only home for the summers.”

“Awwww, we have a princess on our hands,” Morgan assumed.

“If you know many princesses who speak four languages and can recited the Odyssey and Illiad from memory,” Spencer snipped at Derek under his breath. “But she was her father’s whole world, so in that way I suppose you are correct.”

Derek looked over at JJ and Prentiss, his eyebrows raised. The women stifled their laughter in their coffees. He decided to let this reunion pan out before prodding Reid for anymore details.


You strolled back to the precinct with a mountain of whipped cream in a cup, pretending to yourself that this sugary monstrosity was actually coffee. You couldn’t stomach the salad you had ordered for your afternoon meal, but you could stomach some comfort calories from the corner cafe. You knew the FBI was aiding in the investigation of your father’s murder, so you mentally prepared yourself for another battery of questioning.

Your cell chirped at you, it was Detective Chang, “Dr. Y/L/N,” you answered habitually.

“The FBI’s BAU is here, if we could go over it with you again, we really appreciate it.” The gruff man informed you.

“Of course, Detective, I will be right in,” You answered, closing your phone with a satisfactory snap. You sniff and pull your chin up, your professor face was on.


Spencer was squirrelly, he could not sit still. He had bumped into JJ, twice since entering the Pasadena precinct and spilled Prentiss’ coffee while rearranging files. Hotch was at a loss. Rossi and Morgan were in fits. Once the evidence photos were up, everyone grew more sober and focused on the details of the case. Professor Y/L/N was a world-renowned scholar, he had been published in numerous journals annually since receiving his doctorate. He was a widow and lived in a large home alone, but there was no signs of forced entry or robbery.

The reason the BAU had been called in was because he had received a suspicious letter a month prior to being killed. Dr. Olivia Madison, his research partner had told the Pasadena PD. That coupled with the international influence of the victim, they wanted to ensure they utilized every resource.

A knock on the borrowed office’s door, signaled Detective Chang, “The victim’s daughter is back, whenever you are ready.”

Hotch looked around. “Alright, Reid, I am going to let you in there, but Rossi is going to be there to keep you focused.”

Reid nodded, wiping his clammy hands on his trousers. “Got it, Hotch”.

Rossi held the door open for the young ball of nerves, making eye contact with Hotch a cross the room.

“Do you think that was a good idea, letting him into her questioning like that?” Prentiss asked Hotch brassily.

“Was there anyway I could have stopped him?” Hotch countered.

“Hotch, we have a meeting with the President of Cal Tech in ten minutes.” JJ informed the unit chief.

That left Morgan and Prentiss to establish a timeline, build a geographic profile and continue to question anyone in Y/L/N’s department.


You absentmindedly played with your hair, the room was so stuffy. You pictured frescoes on the stone walls instead of layers of primer and acrylic. The grating opening of the door spun you in your seat. Suddenly your jaw became unattached from your skull. Spencer Reid stood before you, all cheek bones and long legs.

“Sir Sir!” You sang, leaping to your feet to tackle the thin genius. He had grown since you had seen him last, he rocks with your embrace. “What are you doing here?” You demanded, pulling back from him, but keeping his sides in your hands, you barely felt his ribs through his layers of clothes.

“Well, actually, I am with the FBI.” Spencer cleared his throat. “How are you doing, Y/N/N?” His big heart pouring through his eyes.

You retreat slightly, knowing you are being observed by his partner and whomever was on the other side of the faux mirror. Nodding, “As good as can be expected.”

Rossi holds out his hand to you, “Miss, it is nice to meet you, I am SSA Rossi with the BAU.”

You look over at the older agent, shaking his hand firmly, “Actually, its Doctor.” In the corner of your eye you can see Spencer smirk.

“Well, of course, Doctor.” Rossi continues, sitting opposite you. “What can you tell us about your father’s house when you arrived this morning?”

Keep reading

Puppy Love - Part 2

Pairing: neighbor!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,371

Summary: The reader’s dog wanders off and she finds him hanging out inside of an Impala that belongs to her gorgeous new neighbor.

Part 1


“What do you do for work?” Dean asks before taking a big bite of his hot dog.

“I’m an event planner.” You say with a smile.

“That sounds fun.”

“What about you?” You wonder with a mouth full of corn on the cob. Real attractive.

“I’m a cop.”

No fucking way. You didn’t think he could get any hotter but now you’re picturing him in his uniform.

Keep reading

Utah Gothic

-The stores are closed on Sunday. Everything is closed on Sunday. Do not leave your home. Do not answer your phone. Do not answer the door. 

-In the mountains, offerings are left at your cabin door. Bicycles and hiking boots in the summer. Snowboards and mittens in the winter. 

-The lakes are deep and silent, even when there is a drought, the lakes have no end, no matter how far the shoreline may retreat.

-Always offer a portion of your meal to the seagulls. Give them the choicest morsels. Thank them for their protection.

-The desert sands are red. The desert is still and waiting. You can hear the laughter of tourists echoing off the canyon walls. You can hear the screams of tourists echoing off the canyon walls. 

-There is a church on every corner, a funeral every weekend. If you go inside, there is a meal laid out for the mourners. Do not eat. Do not drink. Compliment the ladies on their meal, pretend to eat your Jell-O salad and funeral potatoes, then hide it under your cold slice of ham. 

-Do not ask about fry sauce. Asking will expose you as an outsider. If your meal did not come with fry sauce, it is a test. Make your own fry sauce. Prick your finger and mix the blood with a little paper cup of mayo. 

-There are no ghosts in the ghost towns. The ghosts linger in places still known by the living. In quilt shops and diners and schools.

-At night, you can hear the sad horns of trains. You do not live near the train tracks. 

-The mines are treacherous. On the ground are foot prints of miners trying to find the exit. The air is heavy and warm and you can hear the miners working, always working, harvesting precious resources from the earth. 

-The land is ancient and filled with the bones of creatures long dead but not forgotten. If you go out you can still find the fossils of trilobites and take them home with you. Set them on your windowsill and they will guard you through the night.

-The state has many national parks and monuments. They are protected.  If you must take more than photographs, go to the gift shop and buy a little bag of fool’s gold. Keep it in your pocket, always.

Part Two

Part Three

Workspace: Part Two

Part One

A/N: I’m currently working pt 3. I took my time with this one because I wanted it to be good ! Love ya babez.

“Then I had to go to Warren in accounting and he stared at me for fifteen minutes while I sent a fax.” Lydia groaned.

“Gross!” Kira shuttered.

It was 12:30 and I sat in the break room with the girls, Lydia, Kira, and Malia. So far my first day had been uneventful, besides the whole Stilinski thing. As much as I didn’t like first days, this one had to be the best. Just a normal, average day.

“He’s so disgusting. How did he even get hired?” Malia asked interrupting my thoughts.

“Seriously! He’s like ancient. He’s been here forever.” This came from the same boy I had seen before Stilinski in the copy room, the guy with the crooked jaw. He’d just walked in holding a small brown paper bag and a water bottle. He was very handsome now that I had a proper look at him. Maybe not my type but handsome.

“Scotty!” Kira practically squealed. He smiled warmly at her and they awkwardly stared at each other until someone cleared their throat kicking them back to reality. Kira pulled a chair from a table behind us and squeezed it between her and I. She patted the seat and smiled, gesturing him to sit next to her. He smiled back and obliged. The whole interaction was awkward at best and strange at worst. But no one seemed to noticed or at least they pretended not too. Conversation started up again and I sat back quietly eating my tuna salad pretending to listen to them. All the while I was observing the people coming in and out of the break room mentally forming an opinion on them all. As I watched a petite blonde women exited the room I saw the Stilinski guy standing a few feet away from the break room entrance talking to some girl. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she wore a long black maxi skirt with a plain white shirt. I couldn’t see her face from the angle I sat but I could that she had HUGE BOOBS. Which is the only reason that stupid Stilinski boy was probably even talking to her. At first I thought it was casual encounter, he moved his hands around a lot and she nodded her head in agreement. But then she gently placed her hand on his arm,

Changing everything!

Stilinski licked his bottom lip and blushed. Actually fucking blushed. Like he was human or something.

“Stiles!” Scotty yelled startling me out of the death glare I was sending…

Stiles?

Stilinski wasn’t his actual name? But honestly Stiles wasn’t much better. No wander he was such an ass, his name was terrible.

Stiles looked over at us and smiled, obviously not to me, giving us a wave then raising his pointer finger to signal he’d be there in a second. He turned his focus back to the girl and pulled out his phone. I couldn’t see what he was doing but I could only guess his was getting her number. I rolled my eyes and let out any annoyed deep breath.

“That dog.” Malia chuckled lightly and everyone nodded they’re head in agreement. Looks like his charade has caught everyone’s attention.

“So anyways Y/N, what do you think?” Lydia smiled leaning in closer to me from across the table.

Shit. I hadn’t been paying attention ! What had she said to me?

“Yeah, cool.” I said playing off the fact that I wasn’t listening.

“Perf. We’re all going to go around 8.”

“You don’t have to come. Lydia has a way of being very pushy.” Scotty joked.

Lydia shot him a look.

“Scott’s right. It’s just a bar and you just met us.” Kira offered with a sweet smile.

Ahhhhhhhh, so his name was just Scott. Man, I wish these people would stop using nicknames. It was getting hard to keep up.

“Yeah, you probably don’t even like us.” Malia said flatly. I hoped she was kidding but had a feeling she wasn’t.

“Fine. I guess I’ll come.” I said with fake angst trying to lighten the mood.

“Sorted.” Lydia beamed triumphantly.

“She coming?” Stiles said finally joining the group. He sat down next to Malia and draped his arm around her shoulders.

“You know on second thought-” I started with grit in my voice but was interrupted.

“Don’t mind him,” Scott said shooting Stiles a look. “You’re coming.” I nodded but stood up grabbing my lunch.

“See you at 8.” I waved and stormed out of the room.

Stiles. Such an ass.


I stood outside of the bar for almost twenty minutes before actually entering. The place couldn’t really be called a bar. It’s was very much a new age Irish pub. There were tall tables with equally tall chairs scattered around, where people either stood or sat. The whole room was warm contrasting the cold outside and everyone was close to one another. There was a bar but as I looked it over I was sure it only served beer. I was still at the door when Lydia spotted me.

“Y/N!” She shouted over the music and chatter. “Over here! Hurry.” With her sat Kira, Maila, and Scott.

I waved over to them with a smile and stripped myself of my coat, hanging it up on the rack next to the door. I squeezed through the crowd trying to get to my group. Accidentally, I bumped into someone and heard their drink slosh onto the floor followed by a few choice profanities.

“I’m so sorry.” I apologised sweetly stopping to make sure I hadn’t done too much damage.

The stranger turned to me anger striking his face which quickly changed into a smile when he saw me.

“No, you’re okay.” He chuckled. He was taller than me so I had to look up to see him. He smelled vaguely of peppermint and honey and I noticed his green eyes where glued on me. It wasn’t in a creepy way, though. It’s like something about me transfixed his self to me. His eyes gave me a once over, briefly stopping at my lips then flicking back to meet my hazel ones.

Nothing was said for a long moment, so I smiled apologetically and turned to pushed back through the crowd but I could feel his eyes watching me as I went. Finally I was at the table and my pack all greeted me with smiles and a raise of their glasses.

“This place is packed.” I said scooting on to one of the tall stools.

“You came just in time! We need another player.” Kira said and I could see a slight glossiness in her eyes.

“Player?” I pulled my brows together questioningly.

“Trivia.” Malia explained for Kira. “Lydia usually answers all the questions and we just sit back and look pretty.”

Scott laughed and raised a finger at the pretty waitress behind me in attempt to catch her attention. She took notice and walked over.

“What can I get you guys?” She said only to Scott, batting her lashes at him.

“Another round of beers, two for her,” he nodded at me. “She needs to catch up.” He whispered loudly to the waitress earning a chuckle from me. “And a round of shots too, please.”

“Shots too?” Malia giggled.

“Hell yes!” He practically shouted.

“Comin’ right up.” She smirked looking at Scott brightly before turning and leaving. Kira let out something that resembled a grunt mixed with snort. I giggled to myself, Scott and Kira sure didn’t try to be inconspicuous out their feelings for each other. The pair started whispering to one another and I looked around trying not to ease drop.

I surveyed the packed pub. We were towards the back of the place near a small stage and dance floor that had no occupants, from here I could see almost the entire room. My eyes wandered across the faces and fell upon a familiar one. Stiles’s. He was leaning on the with with one arm his head tilted in to hear the girl in front of him better. I rolled my eyes. Another girl? I never took Stiles as much of a player. But as I examined the girl closer I realised she was the same girl from the office. Now I could see her features better and I was very confused because she wasn’t all that pretty. She wore thick rimmed glasses and the same slicked back ponytail was before. She was, in my humble opinion, too skinny with not a lot of curves to fill out her jeans. She was wearing a neon pink shirt that made her big boobs ten times more noticeable. I watched as her and Stiles talked and it was obvious she was drunk. She swayed a little when she moved her hands too much and she laughed too hard when it seemed Stiles hadn’t said anything all that funny. I couldn’t hear them of course but he seemed bored or was he just drunk too. The bartender slid him a bottled beer and he raised it to the girl and began walking away. As he did, he caught me staring and I whipped around in my chair so fast I was sure I’d given myself whip lash. I could see Malia eyeing me. I blushed hard feeling my whole body heat up, why was I even looking at him in the first place, I asked myself. I don’t care what he does. Then, a burly man with a long beard and long hair tied behind his head into a bun stepped on the tiny stage with a microphone.

“Welcome Ladies and Gents to this weeks Trivia Showdownn.” He announced over pronouncing the word down. “I’m sure you all know how this works. But for the newbies here I’ll explain it.” The crowd groaned, making me grin.

As he began explaining the rules, Stiles joined us then. The only spot available was next to me, and to my surprise Stiles took it without complaint. I glanced over to him nonchalantly and he was…glaring?

No, looking?

No, admiring?

Honestly, I couldn’t tell. He seemed to be pretty drunk and it was really hard to read his expression. I noticed now he wasn’t wearing his glasses and his caramel coloured eyes pierced into me.

“Want a picture?” I asked challengingly perking up a brow.

“Depends on the picture.” A twitch of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

The sudden change of character caught me by surprise. I felt my body warm up and I was sure I must be crimson but I hoped I wasn’t.

“You couldn’t be so lucky.” I said coolly recovering quickly.

Stiles lips disappeared into a straight line as he tried to stifle his smile that dared to break through. This was very strange Stiles had showed me nothing but animosity not a day before and now he’s flirting? What a change of events. But was this permanent or was he just tipsy with clouded judgement? The pretty waitress from before reached over me and set down two beers, I hadn’t even noticed she’d been there. She also distributed the tiny glasses full of clear liquid. The shots.

“To winning.” Lydia whisper shouted trying not to interrupt the announcer on stage who was still going over the rules.

“To winning!” We all said in the same tone lifting our small glasses to one another’s allowing them to clink, then drinking the alcohol. We all laughed watching the faces we all made. Stiles’s was the funniest, he looked like he was calmingly thinking about throwing up. I laughed extra hard and he shot me a playful look sticking his tongue out. The action making him look almost sweet, and I wasn’t yet convinced that he was.

Trivia started and as promised Lydia answered all the questions for us. Surprisingly enough, Stiles and I were teaming up within our team and answering a few.

“The largest volcano ever discovered in our solar system is located on which planet?” The burly man, Nade, asked the teams.

“Mars!” Stiles quickly shouted out.

“Mars is correct! Another point for Team Wolf.” Nade noted with a humorous expression.

“That’s another one!” I yelled raising my hand for Stiles to high five something we’d taken up doing every time our team scored a point. He bypassed the high five for the first and enveloped me into a huge hug. I was caught off guard and did not return the motion. Stiles stepped back quickly, eyes wide, registering his mistake and immediately withdrew. We looked at each other awkwardly before being brought back by Nade’s voice.

“All right Trivists. Last question this is for drinks on the house they’re next visit.”

This caused the crowd to cheer wildly.

“Okay guys! We got this! Let’s think before we answer and win this shit!” Malia coached her words slightly slurred. We all nodded or smiled in acknowledgement. The room fell into erie silence, everyone trying to concentrate and after as many beers as I’ve had so was I.

“Who is credited to be the first person to circumnavigate the globe?” Nade quizzed looking over the crowd for someone to answer.

Instantly, I knew the answer, I’d written a whole term paper on it in high school. I looked around at my group and they all seemed a bit stumped. Even Lydia, which was a bit odd but I understood why when I saw her downing another shot. I whirled my head around to Stiles, who jumped doing some weird karate move.

“I know the answer.” I whispered with a wicked smile.

“Are you sure?” He challenged but seemed amused.

“Oh ye of little faith.” I pouted gaining a smirk from him.

“Well answer, before you cause me free drinks.” He scolded playfully.

I rolled my eyes and turned to the pack grabbing their attention. I nodded at them my way of wordlessly telling them that I had it. Though warily, they nudged me to on. I took a deep breathe before answering.

“Ferdinand Magellan!” I shouted and for a second all eyes were on me. Quickly, they all turned to Nade as the whole room wonder whether or not I was right.

Nade was quiet for a beat, and left the room swelling with tension and anticipation.

“Sorry Team Wolf,” he paused giving us a dejected look. My whole team slumped down disappointed that, although so close, we hadn’t won. I was very confused, that was the right answer. I contemplated in my head if I had actually said the right answer out loud or only thought I did. My head was a bit fuzzy making me unsure.

“Sorry that…the other teams won’t be drinking for free!” He yelled smiling into the microphone.

It only took us a second to digest his words until we erupted into cheers. I ran around the table to hug Lydia, who squeezed me tightly. Immediately after, Kira and Malia pulled me into a double hug, jumping up and down throwing me slightly off balance. Scott and I bear hugged and he peck my cheek adding a overly excited ‘thank you’ with it. Stiles just finished doing a weird handshake with Kira, when his eyes lite up at the sight of me and inthralled me into yet another hug. This time I hugged back. His arms snaked around my waist and mine around his neck. I noticed he smelled of cigarettes and something else I couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was warm and sweet and I got lost in it.

He pulled back from the embrace but our arms stayed in place. He gave me that same look as before, the confusing one, and I searched his eyes for some kind of clarity. But all at once, I watched the beautiful amber color in his eyes turn dark and cold and felt the tension radiate through his body. He ripped his hands away from me and stepped back, frowning. My eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment. Stiles called out Scott’s name, who was wrapped around Kira buy quickly released her to aid his friend. I watched as the pair headed out of the now seemingly suffocating bar. As the door shut behind them, my mind raced. What was his fucking problem? First he hates me for no apparent reason then he’s flirting with me, and now he hates me again. He was so exhausting. The alcohol taking its toll I felt my blood begin to boil and fit of rage course through me. Malia walked over to ask me something, but I didn’t even acknowledge her as I moved through the cramped room. Finally reaching the door, I snatched my coat from its perch on the rack and bustled out the door. I whipped my head in every direction looking for the two boys. I caught sight of them half way down the block. Stiles hadn’t brought a jacket, and he had his hands stuffed in his pockets with a cigarette lazily between his lips. Him and Scott seemed to be in an intense conversation but I didn’t care. I was going to find out what his problem was.

“Stiles!” I shouted stomping towards them. They both turned around surprised and I assumed it was from the angry tone in which the name was being shouted. Stiles rolled his eyes and spit out his cigarette stomping it out on the ground. I was to them in seconds and I was huffing out of breath but more from my anger then the walk over.

“What do you want, Y/N?” Stiles groaned as if I was a pest he couldn’t get rid of.

“What do I want? What I want is for you to tell me what your fucking problem is. I’ve worked with you for all of a five minutes and you hate me. I don’t know what I could have possibly done for you to treat me with such disrespect but I’m truly sorry and hope you get over it very fast. Because like it or not we have mutual friends now and I’m not going anywhere. So straighten up or ship out.” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder for emphasis. I was a bit winded after my rant not remembering taking a breath, and I forgotten Scott was standing there. After a beat of no one saying anything, I spun on my heels and retreated opposite of them towards my apartment. I was fuming, mad with rage and in my hast I realised I was walking the wrong way. To get to my apartment I had to walk back in there direction. I knew there was no way I was getting back to my apartment this walking in my current direction. So, reluctantly and, admittedly embarrassed, I turned not meeting there’s gazes as I pushed past them heading in the correct way.

“Godddamn,” I heard Stiles say in an almost impressed sort of way. “Aren’t you something else?”

And it may have been my imagination but I swear I could almost hear his smile.

anonymous asked:

Any tips on how to get birds to eat their fresh fruits and veggies? My parrotlet refuses absolutely everything besides her pellets and I'm not sure what to do. I've tried introducing her to a few different things, but I haven't had much luck so far.

You’ve come to the right place! Mia was the pickiest eater when she was a baby, got so bad that regardless of what I tried she ended up developing fatty liver disease.

After years of trying I ended up establishing a recipe that worked for her, maybe it will for you too!

you can find all my parrot nutrition information here

Examples of what I feed my birds

recipe 1 (4 different balls)

a previous ask

askbirdbloggers FAQ

a good recipe site

Make sure you try a variety of things, birds are super suspicious of things they’ve never tried before so you need to find a way to present it that intrigues your p’let.  For Mia, I had to heat all the foods slightly,  and put them in direct sunlight before she would try them out!  Typically foods that birds try out first are corn, broccoli and kiwi as they all simulate seeds which makes the bird associate it as food a lot faster. 

Really the way you present the food is key, if it doesn’t look yummy they won’t touch it.  There’s all sorts of ways to serve food: warm, cool, frozen, mashed, sliced, grated, coated in seed, mixed, diced, whole try a whole variety of things!  Even if all she does is chew it up and throw it around it is still a good start gradually she will realize that it tastes good and will try to eat it.  You can also pretend to eat the veggies (or have a salad one day) to get your p’let interested in what you’re having, if she sees that you’re having something super delicious she may just want some of what you’ve got!

Things like birdie bread and other recipes from the site linked above are really good, healthy, ways to get a bird used to the taste of veggies.  Eventually you can increase the size of the veggies in the chop, recipe or whatever and they will begin to eat solid veggies on their own.  Another way that works is playing a video of another parrotlet eating veggies and have the same veggies on their dish, this can jumpstart a few psychological responses and get them more interested in trying out the foods.

One good food to start with is sprouts, whether you just sprout typical seeds like flax or chia or go for bean sprouts.  Most birds will take to sprouts really well, they’re very nutritious and can help get them some extra nutrition during this period of not eating anything.  The taste of fresh sprouts may also cause them to be more interested in fresh veggies, especially greens, which could help the conversion process move along a bit better.

They can and will be VERY stubborn, they will make you want to give up, you will get frustrated but please do not give up!  Your little one will live a much healthier life once she is able to see just how delicious these foods are!

I hope she starts eating her fresh foods soon, best of luck to the both of you. Do not hesitate to send me more questions or updates! 

Royals Pt. 8 (Michael)

PART 1| PART 2| PART 3| PART 4 | PART 5| PART 6| PART 7

Originally posted by mcliffordmadness

|| in which you are royalty but michael is not|| 

MASTERLIST

//

You woke up to soft moonlight streaming in through your window. You reached up to rub the sleep out of your eyes, but realised it was futile. Your eyes were already shutting closed as soon as your legs swung off the bed. You found your head drooping back to the pillow and immediately straightened up again as  you let out a massive yawn.

Was this side effects of the pregnancy? You immediately reached down and patted your stomach protectively.

Everything was so new and unexpected to you. You still couldn’t decide whether you were happy or not to have Michael’s child. On one hand, you loved him, you loved him so much and you imagined a future together anyway , but that never changed  the fact that you were both still so young.. and reckless.

You stood up to head to the bathroom to wash your face.    You immediately felt rejuvenated as soon as the cold water touched your  skin,making you feel refreshed and  more alert. You assumed that it would be almost dinner time at this point, and a servant would probably call you down for dinner.

You stripped off your old dress and immediately went to the closet, skimming through all the different colors before  deciding on a black one, dark enough to reflect your mood.

You went into the bathroom to change again when you felt it. The unmistakable cramping you knew so well.

A soft groan escapes your lips as you hold your stomach and collapse on the bathroom floor. Your knees hit the cold wooden  tiles  and you lean your head against the bathroom wall as you try to steady your  breathing.

You feel another surge of pain shoot up your body  like a hot hand clenching around you and you felt  silent tears prickling the back of your eyes as you tried to compose yourself.

It couldn’t be. The sensation was so familiar yet you could hardly accept it.

Keep reading

youtube

This is “La Big 3” a very adorable group of chubby Japanese signers. This video have been criticized by some ‘health experts’ because “it tells girls bad eating habits”

Ok people let´s clarify something here, this song and video is about being body positive and about not being ashamed of eat what you like. It’s not telling you to eat junk food until you get health problems and die, ok? it’s a very happy and positive video where girls can be their selves without worrying about the shape of their bodies. 

Why it’s such a big deal for a woman to eat a pancake or a big ice cream? Why do we have to pretend we only like salad or fruits? Why are we criticized because we crave Pizza or French fries?. This video is about enjoying what you eat and not being ashamed of it.

It’s not teaching girls bad habits, come on, we all know that junk food once in a while won’t kill you. We should stop this obsession of counting calories in very dish and start enjoying food without regrets.

GOT7 Reaction - You Being Vegetarian

Hey! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it! <3

______________________________________________________________

Youngjae - *He’d probably join in and see if it was actually easy to be a vegetarian though he’d have temptations for meat in which you’ll give him for trying*

JB - *As long as this boy gets his chicken, he wouldn’t give two shits*

BamBam - *Still stuffs face with a shit ton of meat while you eat your salad*

Jinyoung - *He’d pretend to be highly offended that you don’t eat meat but he’d show that he doesn’t mind*

Yugyeom - *He’d be slightly confused on how you can live without meat in your meals but he’d be okay if it didn’t affect him*

Mark - *He’d be completely fine with it aslong as he’s not taken away from his meat*

Jackson - *He’d give your a death glare as he’d think you’d pull his precious meat away from him but he’d be fine when you reassure him you won’t*

~

Mobile masterlists -

Reactions

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As

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.
She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”

—Why do we constantly do this to our children? / r.i.d. aka inkskinned

artwork by Gus Hughes

youtube

On one hand, I feel a great deal of vindication in seeing one of these racist fuckin “pranksters” get busted. On the other, who the fuck are these coons helping son make black people look bad for Trumpsters? They’re fired, canceled, expelled.

I tried to find a gif of the doppelgänger of the evolution of the arm saying “NON-EXIST-ENT!” from Twin Peaks to go here, to talk about how we should look at these clowns when invites go out for barbecues and family reunions, but I couldn’t find one, so just pretend that’s what’s in this space.

Anyway.

Fuck whoever Joey Salads is (give me Joey French Fries every time) and fuck whoever his Tomcomplices are.

Originally posted by heartofdevastation

It seems like it has been forever since I wrote a Jai one shot. Here is some fluff that came into my head when I saw a pic of Jai in the grocery store (looking rather interesting). Hope you enjoy.


Whole Foods

You sighed as you pushed your cart down the grocery aisle. You were sore and tired from the yoga class you just left. You should have went straight home as you knew you looked a hot mess from sweating hard in class but you needed to pick up a few essentials before heading home. You bent down to check the prices on a few cans of olives you wanted to have with your salad you planned to make later.

That is when Jai first saw you. His eyes trained in on your ample bottom in tight yoga pants and the sun tattoo on the small of your back, which showed as your yoga shirt had lifted a little as you bent over. When you lifted upright Jai quickly looked away and pretended he was looking for salad dressing.  You looked over at the tall figure that was in your peripheral vision and he looked over at you and smiled the sexist smile at you. You recognized him instantly. Jai Courtney was a few feet away from you in a grocery store aisle and you looked like shit. You had no makeup on and you just knew your loose afro puff on the top of your head was probably lopsided by now from all the poses you did in class. Should you say something? You can’t let the opportunity of getting a selfie with him, no matter how bad you looked, pass by.

“Hi.” You mustered out and gave him your best smile.

“Hi back.”

Oh my God his accent sounded so sexy.

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

Jai walked up to you. He was wearing brown shorts and a white t-shirt that showed off his muscular chest.

“Now why would you want a selfie with me?” he asked teasing.  You shifted on your feet, as you were getting nervous under his penetrating gaze.

“Now why would I not want a picture with the handsome Jai Courtney.” You looked up at him innocently and you were rewarded with another sexy smile.

“Well who can say no to your beautiful face. What’s your name?”

“Y/N” You extended your hand for a handshake but was shocked when he lifted your hand and kissed it. What a sweetheart you thought. Clearing the fog from your brain, you hesitantly tore your eyes away from him to grab your phone out your purse. As you position your phone for a selfie Jai scooted closer you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You started to tremble. God he smelled good! Looking at yourself on your phone next to him you realized you didn’t look as bad as you thought. You took several pictures and almost fell out when you snapped the last picture and Jai had kissed your cheek.

“Jai!” you mock gasped. He laughed and you noticed he did not remove his arm from around your waist.

“If you put those on Instagram make sure you tag me. You do have Instagram right?”

“Yes I do and I follow you. I can’t put the last picture up there.”

“Why not?” Jai asked as he finally let go of your waist.

“I don’t want your girlfriend coming after me. What is her name Becky or something.”

Jai chuckled. “Oh you throwing shade huh? Becky with the good hair? If you follow me you know that’s not her name and it’s ex now.”

Originally posted by simonsayswhatnow

You raised your eyebrows. So he was single now.

“How you know what shade even means or whether I was throwing it or not?”

“I have been in America long enough to pick up on a few things.”

“So……ex-girlfriend huh? You are single now?”

Jai moved closer to you again.

“Yep…..but maybe not for long.” He said looking you up and down slowly. You just felt your core clench with desire.  Jai took out his phone. “What’s your phone number?”

“What gives you the assumption that I don’t have a boyfriend?”

“He won’t be for long. What’s your number?” he asked again. His cockiness turned you on and you gave him your number. Hell, you were single anyway and in the back of your head, you knew you would have given him your number even if you weren’t. “Can I call you tonight? Maybe we can go out to eat and eat some real food.” Jai said as he noticed all your vegan products in your cart.

“Sure.”

Jai’s smile widen.

Originally posted by finnbalcr

“Tonight it is then.”

“Then it is.” You smiled back just before turning around to your cart and heading down the aisle to the fruits and fresh vegetable section.

Jai watched you walk away. His eyes trained on your ass again. He smiled to himself as he thought how much he could not wait to see your sexy body outside of your yoga clothes. He wondered just how flexible you were and he was determined to find out.

Fic: Good Cop, Bad Cop

A Chris Evans One-shot (featuring daddy!chris)

Thanks for reading!! xx

——————————————————

“Daaaaddyyyy…”

And there it was. Natalia refrained from sighing, hearing her daughter use her sugary sweet voice in order to properly persuade her husband into giving in. She had just told her no, for her to go wash up for dinner instead of giving permission for her and her siblings to use the markers on their new coloring books. This was a reoccurring thing. Whenever she had denied one of the kids’ requests, they then turned to Chris, as if what she had said meant nothing at all.

“What’s up, baby girl?” Chris asked, grabbing the stack of dishes from the cupboard to set the dinner table.

Hadley bounced from foot to foot and twisted her fingers together. “Can we, um, use the good markers to color?”

Natalia waited in silence, pretending to be engrossed with the salad she was tossing together. She knew where this was going, expecting the same outcome as always from years and years of parenting with him. He was the good cop and she was the bad cop.

“I don’t know, babe,” he said, counting the six plates before reiterating what Natalia had told their daughter moments prior. “Dinner’s going to be ready soon.”

Hadley folded her bottom lip over her top. “Pleeeeeease.”

Chris chuckled, looking down at her adorable face. How could he say no? Playfully tugging on her french braid with his free hand, he asked with raised brows, “Well, are they the washable ones?”

Keep reading

Puppy Love

Summary: Vision gave Wanda a Havanese puppy to help her cope with the loss of her brother. But then Pietro came back to life thanks to Helen Cho and SHIELD and is very annoyed with this cute little dog that is stealing his sister’s attention away from him. But then one day when all the Avengers go to the mall they split up to find food and Pietro is stuck watching Wanda’s dog. The other guys tease him about it and he gets even more annoyed at the dog until this very cute dog attracts a very cute you to him…*wink wink*

Warnings: Mild swearing but nothing major. LOADS OF TWIN FLUFF! No twincest but the platonic sibling bond is strong with this fic :)

A/N: Sorry I haven’t been working on more parts for the fics I’ve already written but I just had this really cute idea and I wanted to write it! I’ve been having those a lot lately. So sorry for the delays on the other fics but I hope you guys like this one! If you want a part two to this let me know. The picture is not mine! Credit is given in the picture :)


“Oh  my God Vision it’s adorable!” Wanda squealed and got down from the couch in the living room of the Avengers tower and onto her knees when she saw the cute little puppy running towards her, barking and its ears flapping in the wind she was making as she rushed over to Wanda. She made it to Wanda’s arms and crawled onto her lap and pressed her front paws onto her chest and stood on her hind legs so she could get up closer to Wanda’s face. But she was very small so she has some trouble reaching it. But soon Wanda scooped up the puppy and kissed its face while it licked hers while Vision smiled at Wanda’s content state. Pietro’s death had been very hard on her. She was often depressed and it has started to affect her powers. He had done the best he could but he knew that nothing could ever replace her brother. But this was the first time he had seen her smile in a while. So he knew that this would at least help make some progress. 

“Yes I can see by the way that you react to her presence that she is indeed quite adorable.” He says and smiles as the puppy licks Wanda’s face. “She is of the Havanese breed and will look like this and be this small most of her life.” Tony then walks in and sees the dog. His eyes go wide and he’s about to open his mouth to say something but Vision quickly silences him. “And she is hypoallergenic so Mr. Stark will not be uncomfortable in her presence.” He informs him and then turns back to Wanda cuddling the dog. 

“She’s beautiful. I love her.” Wanda says holding the puppy out in front of her face and smiling at it. 

“What will you name her?” Vision asks. Wanda thinks for a minute and looks over the dog. Its ears and little patches on it’s body were a slightly reddish color.

“I’m going to name her Scarlet.” Wanda declares. “And she’s going to be my best friend.” Vision’s face falls and he looks at the ground. “Because I think of you as something a lot more.” She tells him and his face lights up again. 

“Why the hell are you dating an Android! And why the hell is there a little rat jumping on my legs!” Pietro complains and tries to kick Scarlet away from him but she just keeps running towards him, barking to try to get him to pick her up so she can smell more of him.

Keep reading

“A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.
A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.
She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner. 
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”