pretend i did it right!

I think what probably gets me deeply into my feelings about this “JKR should have just made her students Of Color to start with, she can’t ret-con and pretend she did it right the first time” is that I grew up with Anne Rice and Anne McCaffery, two female fantasy writers who hated headcanons and fandom and sued people for deviating from their original vision or doing any kinds of derivative works without their express contractual permission.

I feel like people who get irritated with her about defending black!Hermione don’t appreciate how much healthier JKR’s attitude toward the inclusivity movement in her fandom is than theirs was. Or Moffat’s is. Or Gatiss’s. Or Whedon’s. Or Green’s. Or even, until very recently, Lucas’s.

She’s not a PCR, but goddamn, at least she’s passing us the milk rather than pissing in our cornflakes.


Honestly though Riza he’s got a point >w<

I’m so sorry @theishvalanalchemist your text post deserved a much better comic ;_;


Josephine/ Adaar fuels my life, enough to make a comic and draw sketches of them all the goddamn time.

Also I MIGHT have exagerated Adaar’s size but oh well, the bigger size difference the better am I right?

anonymous asked:

Anon because gfdi is not my main about some good old-fashioned friends to more? Or fake relationships. Dealer's choice. <3

For @gfdisterek who has asked for literally one of my favorite tropes. So here is a favorite trope for a favorite mutual, thanks for being a homie

It started out just a bro helping his bro, honestly. He and Derek had gone to the supermarket around the corner from the loft to pick up some drinks and candy for pack movie night. He never knew why is was always them having to run the snack run, but he didn’t mind too much - at least this way he could bother Derek into buying him extra of his favorites.

He had just finished grabbing the various sodas that had been requested (buying an entire liter of Sprite after the fiasco of last time) and started to head towards where he could see Derek’s prince hair over the aisles. He turns the corner, ready to spout off his usual spiel that earns him one or two extra packets of Reese’s Pieces, when he stops in his tracks. An unfamiliar head of dark curls is all up in Derek’s personal bubble and cocking a pleated-skirt clad hip out where a manicured hand rested.

It was pretty damn obvious that the alpha was uncomfortable and Stiles could tell that he was having a hard time figuring a way out of the situation. Before the thought even fully formed in his mind, Stiles was marching over and sidling up next to Derek and leaning his shoulder back against his chest.

“Hey, babe, did you get everything?” He looks up at Derek with batted eyelashes and hopes that their friendship level is at the point of mostly silent communication.

“Almost, I still need Allison’s Starbursts.” He responds jerking his chin to the stand that the girl in front of them is oh so unhelpfully blocking. He also tentatively wraps an arm around Stiles’ waist while he’s at it. Heck yeah, silent communication for the win!

Stiles,without dislodging Derek’s hand on his hip, darts around the girl who is glaring quite unimpressively, to grab a package of the necessary candy.

“Oh, sorry, hi. I’m Stiles, Derek’s boyfriend.” Stiles says with a smile as he returns to Derek’s hold.


“Old friend?”

“No, new acquaintance.” Stiles raises his eyebrows at this, making a very clear statement with his eyes alone ‘then I guess you’re not necessary’.

“Well, we have to go. Movie date night, ya know.” With that he grabs Derek’s wrist and tugs him towards the check out. If he happens to feel smugly proud of himself when Derek’s grabs not two but three extra Reese’s Pieces, no one has to know.

It spirals from there. It becomes a thing, a really effective thing. Whenever they hang out, if Derek is cornered by someone, Stiles swoops in with the boyfriend card to rescue him. It’s a system that works for them and lets Derek relax in public knowing Stiles will be there to save the day.

It happens at the movie theatre with a tall, athletic man when Stiles comes and grabs Derek’s hand to guide him to their movie. It happens at the mall with a dainty blond in a Lana Del Rey t-shirt and Stiles pecks Derek on the cheek because his hands are full of the shopping bags that he’s helping Lydia and Allison carry. It happens at the park with a man who’s walking his dog in a pair of skimpy running shorts and Derek wraps his arms around Stiles’ shoulders from behind and Stiles puts his hands in Derek’s front pockets when the runner doesn’t seem to get the idea.

It’s just so easy to slip into this persona, become the Stiles that dates Derek and holds him possessively. The Stiles that is allowed to hold him around the waist and plant smacking kisses on his cheek, put his hands in Derek’s jacket pockets and lean against him while staring pushy people down. He, true to his typical luck, he doesn’t realize something very important until it’s far too late. It hits him quite suddenly, while his fingers run over the edges of the Camaro keys in Derek’s pocket, that it really isn’t all that hard to play his part. Maybe ‘cause he’s not playing anymore.

It’s been rattling around in his head for days now. In retrospect, he should have noticed sooner. Should have questioned why his blood actually burned under his skin when he saw someone try to make a move on his bo- Derek. Should have wondered why it seemed to come so naturally to just squeeze up next to him and stare down the one who tried to flirt. Should have recognized the swelling in his chest when Derek reciprocated and the acid in his gaze being all too real when the flatterers continued their advances. But he hadn’t, it felt far too natural to question such a thing.

Stiles walks to the loft that afternoon, needing a quiet place to study before the weekly pack meeting/dinner together. He’s lost in thought as he walks in and slips off his shoes. Brain too occupied as he swoops down to absent mindedly peck Derek’s cheek on his way to the dining room table to set up his laptop. Lost to the world when Derek approaches slowly, a flush high above his soft-looking beard.


“Hmm?” He looks up from his work, now nicely laid out to spot the mug of coffee Derek has set down. He hums happily as he sips it, sweetened just the way he likes it.

“You kissed me.” He freezes, coffee still lapping at his upper lip, highlighter poised in his other hand and his gaze snapped up to where Derek is sitting at his left.

“I, uh, I guess I did.”

“You know there’s no one here to pretend for, right?” Derek asks slowly, holding his own mug of tea, watching Stiles carefully.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” He nods, watching Derek stand and his heart sinking. But his heart may as well have hit a trampoline with the way it lift right back up as Derek pulls his mug away and leans down to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Good, tell me if you need help with your homework.”

“You don’t have to talk to me, you know. They can’t see me. It’s like you’re talking to yourself.”

“I am painfully aware.”

“Then why’re we having this conversation?”

“Because I - I don’t know, fuck. I like talking to you. And people already think I’m insane. Really, what eighteen-year-old guy in his right mind owns a flower shop?”

“You like talking to me?”

“Did I say that?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Right, well, pretend I didn’t.”

Keep reading

I'm in a good place right now, mentally, emotionally, socially. like i genuinely think i haven’t been in such a good headspace since pre-school lmfao. i feel loved and supported, i’m more aware of my struggles and therefore know how to ask for help and meet my needs, i feel confident in my own abilities and am willing to accept my limitations, i feel hopeful about the future. life is…. good??? 

It Just Takes Some Time

Dallas Winston Imagine (The Outsiders)

Anon asked, “;-; could you write a callas imagine for me pls?? it can be like some angsty shiz and then it can have fluff again- thank you ilysm bb -totally not caroline”

A/N: Of coursee. Although this is an imagine for my dear amazing friend Caroline, I hope others still read and enjoy it. I got inspired by the song Celebrity Skin by Hole, and also, Girlfriend by Avril Lavgine so if you wanna listen to it, go ahead! (link for Celebrity Skin) (link for Girlfriend) Hope you enjoy! / even though it sucks. the songs have almost nothing to the imagine but it inspired me so-/

Today was the day I’d break up with her. I was getting too attached and it’d be dangerous to stay. It’d hurt the both of us, breaking up, but she deserved someone better anyway. Not saying I ain’t the best already, but…fuck it, of course I ain’t the best.

Me? Nervous? It’s more likely than you think. Sure I act like nothin’ is wrong, but shit, sometimes it just feels like everything is wrong, I’m just good at pretending.

I lit up a cigarette as I walked over to the Dingo. One thumb hooked in my pocket and the other holding the cancer stick. She worked at the Dingo currently. It’s the best she can get. Now don’t think I’mma break up with her while she’s working, that’d just be horrible. The plan is to do it after.

I walk inside and a few people turned my way, due to the bell giving a ring when I opened the door. Sitting down at a table now, I see Caroline walking over quickly with a smile on her face. Gosh I’d miss that smile…

“Hey, did you come to visit me?” she asks nudging my arm before she slips into the seat. “Kinda.” I mumble and put the cigarette out on the ash tray there. “When your shift is over we need’a talk. And just grab me a Coke or somethin’ so no one actually thinks I just came to visit you.”

“I’ll bring the Coke then, but what’s the talk about?…I didn’t do anything right?” she asks, her tone sounded worried and I just shrug. “Just meet me at Bucks’ when your shift is done. That’s where I’ll be.” She just nods and slips back out to get the Coke I asked for. 

I had to keep reminding myself that this was all out of love. Right? Pretending like I never did love her so she could hopefully fall for someone else…someone better… The thought was fucking disgusting. If I ever explained this to someone else, they’d think I’m crazy, but no one understands.

The Coke was placed in front of me and I give her a smile as a thank you kinda thing. She walks off and I grab some cash out of my pocket, placing it at the table before leaving with the Coke in hand.

This never wen’t as planned. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her, it kinda just happened. A few months into the relationship she told me she loved me after we had a good fuck. It caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to reply. I never did say I loved her back and I wasn’t planning on it. 

This is a month after. Now I know I fell into this deep shit hole of love. It took a while to actually know if I loved her or not, but the thing is that I know. I can’t love her. It’ll make me all soft and my rep won’t even matter anymore.

Soon enough the moment I would most likely regret came around. A faint knock at the door made me get up and open it. It’s not like anyone else came to visit, so I knew it was her. Seeing her there with a smile on her face made me wanna forget about this whole plan, but I couldn’t…

“Hey, you said you wanted to talk.” she mumbles and I nod, letting her come inside before I shut the door and plop down on my bed now. “Yup, that’s what I said.” I nod and look at her. “Right, well what did you wanna talk about?” she asks. Her voice was soft, just like her hair, and her skin, and her gaze towards me, and gosh just everything.

Fuck, stop thinking… I just shrug at her and bite my lip. “I can’t keep goin’ like this.” I say looking into her eyes now. “What do you mean?…” she sounded both confused and worried. “You know what I mean. Don’t act like you don’t.” I scoff.

Sure I was acting like an asshole, but that’s just what I am to everyone and I can’t let them think otherwise. Her lip was quivering now and I had to look away. “Why?” she lets out, her voice extra quiet now. “I’ve got my reasons that you don’t gotta really know. We’re over, just go and find someone better. I’m sure you’ve been waiting for this moment anyway.”

She was crying by now, but she looked pissed too. Last time I saw her like this, wasn’t because of me so now it wasn’t so fun to watch. “Fuck you Dallas. Why the hell would I be waiting on this moment, huh?! You know I love you, and you stayed after I said that so I thought you did too, but now I know I was wrong…”

I just move my gaze to the bed covers and shrug as if to act like I didn’t care. “Well yeah, you were wrong. I don’t love anyone, Caroline. You should know that. Especially after being with me for this long.” 

“Your full of shit Winston.” I heard her say before a sob came out from her lips. I didn’t reply, just looked up at her again. Fuckin’ hell, now I feel worse. She looked like a mess since her makeup was runny due to the tears. I run a hand through my hair and sigh. “Off you go.” I mumble and wave her off.

“Why are you breaking up with me…” she mumbles, I glance over at her and she was looking down at her lap, sitting on the edge of my bed. “I told ya, I’ve got my reasons.”

“Yeah, so I wanna know what the reasons are.” she sniffled and wiped her tears away, groaning a bit when she saw black ink on her hand due to the runny mascara. “You deserve someone better.” I say quickly and really quietly. 

There was a party going on downstairs so maybe she didn’t hear what I said. “What?” she asks looking at me, and I look away, not wanting to meet her gaze. “You. Deserve. Someone. Better.” I say more clearly now before sighing and getting up off my bed. “Just fuck off. Leave.”

I grab her hand and lead her to my door and she jerked her hand away now. “I ain’t leaving until you fucking explain yourself. You’re not making sense.” I sigh and go back over to my bed, reaching over to the nightstand, I pull a box of cigarettes out. “Want one?” I ask lighting one up with the lighter there.

“I’ll pass. It reminds me of your old broad Sylvia.” she mumbled and I nod. “Right, Sylvia.” I sigh. “Was it her? Does she have something to do with this?” she asks, sitting down by the door now on the floor. I shake my head. “Sylvia’s a bitch, but this is all me.”

I was looking at her now and she was calming down, tears still falling from her eyes, but no sobs raking through her body. That was a relief… She was fidgeting with her hands now and I couldn’t help but stare. Caroline snapped me out of that when she said, “Can you explain what you said earlier?”

Her voice was so soft…like she felt sorry for me. She actually cared and wanted an explanation. Meanwhile the other small flings I had never had much communication after I’d break up, but then again this was a more serious relationship. Caroline wouldn’t take my shit excuses and I had to accept that, which I did, it just took some time to get used to.

“I’m Dallas Winston, remember? I can’t seem to treat ya right, so you deserve someone better. So I’m telling you to fuck off before I hurt ya even more than I probably already have.” I shrug and take a drag from the cigarette, leaning my head against the bed frame. 

“You’ve never hurt me physically…you have emotionally, but we talk it out and get through it. We always have. Why is this any different? Why do you wanna break up all of a sudden?” she asks, obviously pain in her voice. “It’s not like I can buy you shit someone else can, or bring you to places, or even promise to stay out of the cooler…someone else can do that. So just leave, I’ll be fine. I always have been.”

“You may be find, but why do you think I’ll magically fall in love with someone else?… I’m in love with you Dallas. I can’t seem to even look at another person because you’re the only one that matters. I don’t care about fucking gifts or to go to places, and the cooler thing? We’ll work on it.” she sighs.

I was kinda shocked to hear all this, I was bumming the cigarette now. “Wait…what?” I ask confused. “Shut up Dallas, we’re not breaking up. I won’t allow it. Just because you think you’re not good enough is a shit excuse.”

“What? No, just leave Caroline, remember? We’re breaking up? That’s why I called ya over before.” I say shaking my head and burning the cigarette out. She stands up and walks over to the bed, hovering over me. “Yeah and I refuse to break up with you.” she mumbles. I just look up at her, into her eyes.

“You’re an idiot, you don’t just break up with someone because you think you’re not good enough for ‘em.” she says poking my cheek and I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” I mutter.

I didn’t wanna argue it. If she refused, I didn’t want to insist on us breaking up…I loved her too much. Breaking up would cause the both of us way too much pain. Who the hell knows what I’d do if she wasn’t in my life. 

I flip us over and sigh. “I guess I should apologize now, right?” I say hovering over her and she nods. I wipe the streaks of tears off her face before smiling a bit and moving some hair away from her face too. “Alright. I’m sorry.” I mumble. She smiled now and poked my nose. “And you’re forgiven. Like always…”

I roll my eyes but lean down and press my lips against hers deeply. That night I’d finally tell her. She probably already knew, but either way, I’d finally say those three words.

Just in case y’all wanna be smart, the words will be, “I love you.” not some stupid shit.

Birthday fic for Alinajames

So here’s my birthday present for @alinajames. I hope this Gallirei first kiss will please you, you are really nice and sweet, thank you for all the things you do for us, and special thanks to @kaschy who helped me.

Two months. It was exactly two months since the war between Marley and the Middle East came to an end. The Marleyans won, and the Eldians returned to Rebellio.
To be honest, Porco, who had slipped into the habit of sleeping with Reiner during these war years, felt a little empty. After returning to their own homes, sleeping in their respective beds, he no longer heard Reiner moving restlessly in his sleep, talking and apologizing.
Apologizing for what? What happened on Paradise? What happened to his brother? That during those years he pretended to be Marcel? Reiner has too many things to apologize for.
But Porco noticed that something was wrong. When they were children, Reiner defended himself. Now, Reiner just let Porco insult and belittle him without saying anything. Porco pitied him. He was not the only one who lost someone. He noticed that Reiner had lost weight. At the same time, without eating properly, it wasn’t surprising.
He knew Reiner was hiding things from him. And today he wanted to make things clear. So he took advantage of the opportunity when he saw Reiner and the cadets talking. He grabbed him by the arm and took him away without a word. It was only once the cadets were out of sight that Porco finally decided to speak.

“I really can’t figure out what’s wrong with you, Braun.”
“Seriously, you’re not like before, it’s not even funny to laugh at you.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“You know very well what I’m talking about. You think we haven’t noticed that you’ve lost weight, that you always seem to be tired, that you don’t take care of yourself? You think your little smiles aren’t noticed when you talk about them. You’re making your family worry. I know there are things you don’t want to tell us, Braun. And I understood it more the other day, when I told you  what I saw, that you pretended to be my brother, and you replied that I had seen the memories right. And what did I see right? That you pretended to be Marcel willingly?”
“It’s not you..”
“What do you mean, it’s not me!?”
“It wasn’t you who should have stayed here. It was me. You should have received the armor instead of me. But Marcel wanted to protect you from Ymir’s curse.”

Everything became clear to Porco. Why Marcel was constantly apologizing to Reiner, why Reiner dared not reply despite his many insults. It was because he felt responsible for Marcel’s death of course, but not only that. Porco realized that in addition to losing his dearest friends, Reiner felt guilty for having separated him from his brother.
For once, Porco was understanding. He knew that Reiner had to carry this weight on his shoulders all these years. Marcel was old enough to know what he was doing. It was his choice. And he realized. Porco realized why he was worried about Reiner’s condition. He realized when Reiner lowered his face, where Porco could guess the shame. He realized that he didn’t just feel hatred. But something much stronger. Love.
Thunderstruck by these revelations and the struggle that was taking place in his mind, Porco didn’t react immediately. And Reiner didn’t dare to raise his head. The strawberry blond took the lead and passed his arms around Reiner. He did everything in his power to not to let Reiner see his expression; Porco’s face betrayed his feelings. Now, he felt guilty of dragging Reiner down all those years. He felt guilty that he hadn’t understood Marcel’s sacrifice. He felt guilty for not realizing the feelings he had for Reiner. It was therefore quite natural that his lips made their way towards those of a completely frozen Reiner, who didn’t understand what was happening to him.
Slowly, their lips met, and Porco tightened his embrace around Reiner who had relaxed in his arms. Even if Porco’s natural aggressiveness wanted to take the upper hand, he did the opposite, gently kissing Reiner. After a few moments Porco moved away, his cheeks slightly red. The two warriors looked into each other’s eyes and Porco spoke:

“Do this one more time, and I’ll kick your ass.”


Deux mois. Cela faisait exactement deux mois que la guerre entre Mahr et le Moyen-Orient est arrivée à son terme. Les Mahrs ont gagné, et les Eldiens sont retournés au camp de Rebellio.
Pour être honnête, Porco qui avait pris l’habitude de dormir avec Reiner pendant ces années de guerre ressentait un petit vide. Il n’entendait plus Reiner bouger dans son sommeil, parler et s’excuser. S’excuser de quoi d’ailleurs ? Ce ce qu’il s’est passé sur Paradis ? Ce qui est arrivé à son frère ? Que pendant ces années, il s’est fait passer pour Marcel ? Il a de quoi s’excuser.
Mais Porco avait bien compris que quelque chose n’allait pas. Quand ils étaient enfants, Reiner se défendait. Maintenant, il laissait juste Porco l’insulter et le rabaisser, sans rien dire. Porco se sentait mal pour lui. Il n’était pas le seul à avoir perdu quelqu’un. Il avait bien remarqué que Reiner avait perdu du poids, en même temps, sans se nourrir correctement, ce n’était pas étonnant.
Il savait que Reiner lui cachait des choses. Et aujourd’hui, il voulait tirer les choses au clair. C’est donc ainsi qu’il profita de l’occasion lorsqu’il vit Reiner et les cadets parler. Il l’attrapa par le bras et l’emmena sans un mot. Ce n’est qu’une fois à l’abri des regards que Porco se décida enfin à parler :

«J’arrive vraiment pas à savoir ce qui ne va pas avec toi, Braun.
-Pardon ?
-Sérieusement, t’es plus comme avant, c’est même plus drôle de se moquer de toi.
-Mais de quoi tu parles à la fin ?!
-Tu sais très bien de quoi je parle. Tu crois qu’on a pas remarqué que t’avais perdu du poids, que t’as toujours l’air crevé, que tu prends même plus soin de toi. Tu crois qu’on pas remarqué tes petits sourires en coin quand tu parles d’eux, tu inquiètes toute ta famille. Je sais qu’il s’est passé des choses que tu ne veux pas nous dire Braun. Et ça je l’ai compris l’autre jour quand je t’ai dit que tu te prenais carrément pour mon frère, que tu m’as répondu que j’avais vu juste. Et qu’est-ce que j’ai vu juste ? Que t’es fait passer pour Marcel volontairement ?
-C’est pas toi..
-C’est pas moi quoi ?
-C’est pas toi qui aurais dû rester ici.. C’est moi. Tu aurais dû recevoir le cuirassé à ma place. Mais Marcel voulait que tu restes loin de la malédiction d’Ymir..»

Tout devint clair pour Porco. Pourquoi Marcel s’excusait sans arrêt auprès de Reiner, pourquoi Reiner n’osait répliquer malgré ses nombreuses insultes. C’était parce qu’il se sentait responsable de la mort de Marcel bien sûr, mais pas que. Porco comprit qu’en plus d’avoir perdu ses amis les plus chers, Reiner se sentait coupable de l’avoir séparé de son frère.
Pour une fois, Porco était compréhensif. Il savait que Reiner avait dû porter ce poids sur ses épaules toutes ces années. Marcel était assez grand pour savoir ce qu’il faisait. C’était son choix. Et il comprit. Porco comprit pourquoi il s’inquiétait de l’état de Reiner. Il comprit lorsque Reiner baissa son visage, où Porco pouvait y deviner la honte. Il comprit qu’il ne ressentait pas uniquement de la haine. Mais quelque chose de bien plus fort. L’amour.
Ahuri par ces révélations et le combat qui se menait dans sa tête, Porco ne réagit pas immédiatement. Et Reiner lui n’osait toujours pas lever le regard. Le roux prit alors les devants et passa ses bras autour de Reiner. Il faisait tout pour que ce dernier ne voit pas ses expressions. Car le visage de Porco trahissait ses sentiments. Désormais il se sentait coupable d’avoir traîné Reiner plus bas que terre. Il se sentait coupable de ne pas avoir compris plus tôt le sacrifice de Marcel. Il se sentait coupable de ne pas avoir réalisé les sentiments qu’il avait envers Reiner. C’est donc tout naturellement que ses lèvres firent leur chemin vers celles d’un Reiner complètement tétanisé, qui ne comprenait pas ce qu’il lui arrivait.
Tout doucement, leurs lèvres rencontrèrent celles de l’autre, et Porco resserra son étreinte autour de Reiner qui s’était détendu. Même si la naturelle violence de Porco voulait prendre le dessus, il s’éfforça du contraire. Après quelques instants Porco s’éloigna, les joues légèrement rouges. Les deux guerriers se regardèrent dans les yeux et Porco prit la parole :

«Refais-moi encore une fois un coup pareil, et je te botte le cul.»

  • me from years past: i just... idk i really think i want to have a relationship built on a strong and affectionate friendship! I just don't feel comfortable jumping into romance right away
  • me now: ur aromantic
  • me from years past: friendships are so undervalued!! there's no reason a dear friend can't be the most important person in your life!! marriage should be a union where your partner is ur best friend forever
  • me now: you're aro
  • me from years past: i just don't know why but i feel so much comfortable around people after we've broken up and can still be friends!! all that pressure to perform romance is gone
  • me now: fuCKKING HONESTLY-