Dick: Who the hell picked Rainbow Road? All these damn colors are making my eyes hurt–and that’s the second time I’ve fallen into space!
Jason: Damian did.
Damian: It’s better than the Haunted Mansion Tim wanted. The roads in that place are all edges!
Tim: At least that Chomp thing isn’t there. I’ve run into that guy every time I’ve seen him!
Jason: That’s because you suck. Shit! Not another bomb!
Dick: I was playing this before you guys were even born. I am a god at this game.
Jason: Dick, shut up. You’re in last place.*gets a question mark* *question mark gives him a golden mushroom* This has to be the most useless fucking one. *repeatedly presses the ‘Z’ button* All it does it is jump me back and forth like I’m fucking glitching!
Dick: You just don’t know how to use it.
Jason: Strong words from someone playing as Yoshi. *gold mushroom launches him over the edge and into space* Well fuck you too, Wario,
Dick: Yoshi is lovable just like me. Besides, everyone knows Wario is just the asshole reject of the family. *gasps* Did you do that on purpose?
Tim: Dammit, Damian. Quit with the fucking turtle shells!
Damian: That wasn’t me!
Tim: I can see your screen!
Damian: STOP SCREEN CHEATING!
Tim: STOP HITTING ME WITH RED TURTLE SHELLS!
Damian: THE GAME KEEPS GIVING THEM TO ME!
Jason: Which one of you fuckers hit me with a red turtle shell?
Tim: That would be Princess Peach over there with her endless fucking supply.
Damian: I picked the wrong player! You three douchebags wouldn’t let me change it!
Tim: Oh, but this suits you so much better.
Damian: Whatever, Mario.
Tim: This game exists because of Mario.
Damian: This game exists for you to be anyone but Mario.
Dick: I got a star! Eat dust bitches! *passes everyone up* *falls off the edge into space* *gets put back in last* God dammit.
Tim: What’s with all the fucking banana peels, Jason?
Jason: You tell me, Mr. “I strategically placed upside down question marks everywhere to inflict maximum casualties.”
Tim: You have no proof that was me.
Jason: I saw you on your screen!
Tim: You screen cheated?
Damian: Doesn’t feel so good does it?
Tim:Can it, Peach.
Damian: Wow, what a clever pun. Did you strategically place that too?
Tim: I’m gonna strategically punch you in the face.
Dick: It’s so nice and drama free in last place.*laughs evilly to himself*
Damian: Have fun trying to hit me while I’m pelting you with red turtle shells!
Tim: *gets a question mark* Not if I have some turtle shells of my own. *question mark gives him the squid that puts an ink blot on his screen* Aw hell.
Damian: *laughs loudly* That’s some defense you got there.
Tim: I can’t see shit! *slips on Jason’s banana peels*
Jason: *is in 1st place* *hears a blue turtle shell coming* Is that a blue turtle shell? Tim and Damian, shut the hell up. I said, is that a blue turtle shell?
Tim and Damian: *both get out of the way of the blue turtle shell*
Jason: *gets hit the blue turtle shell* WHO THE FUCK SENT A BLUE TURTLE SHELL?
Dick: *more evil laughter*
Tim: It was Dick.
Damian: Did you screen cheat to find that out too?
Tim: This is Mario Kart. They literally show you where everyone is on a map! THERE IS NO SCREEN CHEATING!
Damian: YOU WEREN’T SAYING THAT WHEN JASON DID IT TO YOU!
Dick: I’m coming for you Jason.
Jason: Get the fuck away from me, Dick. Take your blue turtle shells, and get. The fuck. Away.
Jason, Tim and Damian: *get electrocuted*
Dick: *passes them all up*
Tim: Damian, I swear to God, if that question mark gives you a red turtle shell–
Damian: Let me pass you, and this won’t be a problem.
Damian: Then feel my red, fiery wrath! *shoots more red turtle shells at Tim*
Tim: You sadistic little–
Dick:Told you I was a god at this game. *is seconds away from winning in 1st place*
Jason: *presses ‘start’ and ‘restart race’ a millisecond before Dick crosses the finish line*
Dick: *gasps* YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! *throws his controller at Jason*
Tim: *gets hit by the controller*
Damian: Too bad you couldn’t have screen cheated to know that was coming.
Tim: *attacks Damian*
Dick: *attacks Jason*
*10 minutes later*
Bruce: You were playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart, boys. Grand Theft Auto doesn’t even make you this violent. Why is Tim’s nose bleeding?
Dick: It’s Monopoly all over again. It all started because Jason cheated.
Tim: *holding a tissue to his nose* Dick threw a controller at me–well, at Jason, but it hit me.
Damian: Serves you right, screen cheater.
Tim: I will bleed on you.
Jason: You shot a blue turtle shell at me. What was I supposed to do?
Dick: Take it like a man is what you’re supposed to do! You want to know what you’re not supposed to do? RESTART THE RACE JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE LOSING!
Bruce: Why is this my life?
This is pretty much exactly what happens when my fam plays Mario Kart. We get everyone together for a nice, friendly game of racing with funny attack methods, and it turns into a bloodbath. I’ve been every one of these. I’ve come close to killing most of my siblings–ESPECIALLY when they screen cheat. I hate that crap. I just ruins the game. And of course I’ve been a sore loser and either restarted the race or turned the console off before someone else won. I’ve bitten my brother before for hitting me with a blue turtle shell, and he once shattered our tv screen by humming his controller at it because he was playing against the CPU and Peach kept hitting him with red turtle shells. Good times.
Just little Antisepticeye and Darkiplier plot bunnies (okay, one giant plot bunny):
- Anti is the leader of a cult and Dark is his right-hand man. Watch from 4:00 to 4:30 on this video to get a sense of how I’d expect it to work.
- Anti needs attention from people to continue surviving. When people say his name, spread his image, and especially sacrifice themselves or others for him, it gives him energy and makes him stronger and unable to die. (”You all said my name. I am here now.”) The only way to get rid of him for good is for no one to acknowledge his existence.
- Dark thus helps Anti survive by helping to bring people close to him. And in turn, Anti makes damn sure to protect Dark at all costs. Some of the people they brainwash become bodyguards for Dark. Sometimes Dark simply impersonates Mark and infiltrates his friend group. And as a last resort, Dark can loop back time.
- Anti never shows up in person. He’s only ever seen in computers and other screened devices. No one can pinpoint exactly where he is, because his apparent location changes in an instant.
- Anti can see the world through Dark’s eyes. Like visual telepathy, if you will. This is his main method of gathering information about the outside world, since, you know, he never leaves his hiding hole.
- They have Jack and Mark held hostage, by the way.
roarkjames Today’s work with @samheughan : 30 rounds of: - 30 work 90 rest row increasing by 1 meter each round (start at 141 meters end at 170 for a total of 5000) - Odd rounds: 10 push up and 10 barbell bicep curl (total of 150 each) - Even rounds: 10 ‘Z Press’ (total of 150) | April 5, 2017