presidents and problems

Renamed Musicals
  • The Last Five Years: We were happy for ten minutes
  • Bring It On: just like the movies but better because Lin-Manuel Miranda
  • Dogfight: All My Friends Are Dead by: Eddie Birdlace
  • American Psycho: Benjamin Walker's abs ft. Jennifer Damiano
  • Spring Awakening: horny German teenagers make me cry thirty times
  • Gypsy: Broadway dance moms
  • In the Heights: remember Lin Manuel Miranda before Hamilton?
  • Jersey Boys: we're all shitty people but at least we're shitty people who can sing
  • How to Succeed in Business: life is good if you can lie
  • Matilda: Carrie Jr.
  • Daddy Long Legs: haha she said "daddy"
  • Children of Eden: the bible ft. belting
  • Tick, Tick...Boom: Remember Jonathan Larson before Rent?
  • Urinetown: urine jokes and Hunter Foster
  • A Chorus Line: we're all suffering so we cover up our emotions with dancing
  • Newsies: hot gay teenage boys stomp a lot
  • The Book of Mormon: we're all suffering so we cover up our emotions with religion
  • Footloose: let hiM BE A DANCER!!!1!!
  • Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown: crazy women take lots of Valium
  • Next to Normal: crazy woman takes a lots of Valium
  • Avenue Q: ruining your childhood one song at a time
  • Bullets Over Broadway: Zach Braff can sing?
  • If/Then: Elphaba marries Roger
  • Parade: JRB can't write anything happy
  • Honeymoon in Vegas: JRB finally writes something happy
  • Ragtime: everyone's a little bit racist but it's okay because it's 1910
  • The Full Monty: suicide and strippers
  • Jekyll and Hyde: Frank Wildhorn needs to chill
  • Wonderland: Frank Wildhorn really needs to chill
  • Bonnie and Clyde: Frank Wildhorn finally finds his chill
  • Catch Me if You Can: Aaron Tveit ignores his feelings with jazz numbers
  • Merrily We Roll Along: we were all happy for like ten minutes
  • Cats: what?
  • Spelling Bee: guy from Modern Family ft. erection song
  • [title of show]: what musical theatre majors go through after college
  • Calvin Berger: Cyrano with horny teenagers
  • Legally Blonde: Laura Bell Bundy can belt my face off
  • Little Women: Jo isn't straight but alright whatever
  • Assassins: kill a president and all your problems will be solved
  • Clinton the Musical: the best thing to come out of Broadway in 50 years
  • Carrie: Matilda with murder
  • Rent: we're all dead inside but it's alright
  • Jasper in Deadland: we're all dead inside but it's not alright
  • Falsettos: family is important ft. the guy from into the woods
  • Company: love is stupid and so are all of you
  • Evening Primrose: literally wh a t the fuck
  • The Frogs: literALLY WH A T THE FUCK
  • School of Rock: these kids have more talent in their left pinkies than you ever will
  • The Addams Family: she's being pulled in a new direction
  • Aladdin: seriously SO much better than the movie
  • Bare: horny American teenagers make me cry thirty times
  • Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: everyone hates Andrew Jackson boo hoo
  • The Bridges of Madison County: Kelli O'Hara needs to stop being perfect immediately
  • Finding Neverland: somebody wrote fanfiction about J.M. Barrie
  • Fun Home: you're gonna cry a lot
  • Heathers: literally fuckin chill
  • Hamilton: literally fuckin chill (reprise)
  • Love's Labour's Lost: horny college students are horny college students
  • Meet John Doe: Heidi Blickenstaff can belt my face off
  • Pippin: sad gay circus boy
  • Shrek: everyone makes fun of this musical but it's seriously amazing????
  • Something Rotten: 16th century fanfiction
  • Tuck Everlasting: become best friends with your kidnappers
  • Waitress: Deep Dish Blueberry Pie
  • Sweeney Todd: Deep Shit Blueberry Pie
  • West Side Story: MARIA!
  • Zombie Prom: lol why

you know what I’m fucking sick to death of politicians and pundits saying we as a nation are too divided and need to work together. that everyone is sad when their side loses, and tomorrow we have to pull together. that it is our responsibility to be more open-minded to those with whom we disagree.

it’s a nice thought, but when one side advocates for the violent oppression of the other, reaching across the aisle is meaningless. when one side fears the other because they’re different and one side fears the other because they don’t want to be killed, there is a bigger problem.

so here’s a different message: you don’t have to be kind to people who want you dead. you don’t have to pull together with those who hate you. you are not responsible for the government’s inability to function. when someone hates your entire being, the bedrock of what you are and what you stand for, when someone is so frightened of your inner light they want to snuff you out you do not have to be kind to them.

Democratic Nomination 2020

so I figured I’d give my hot take on 2020 Democratic nomination because why not?

No Country for Old Men:

Jerry Brown: Brown’s name, to my shock, has come up a few times. The first a most major problem is that Jerry is ALREADY 79 years old, and will be in his 80s by 2020. Not to be grim, but it’s mathematically unlikely for a man who is 82 on taking office to live to serve two full terms, even one term would be a gamble. Past the mathematical issue, Jerry is a household name in California politics but over 40 years has never managed to build up a base of support outside is home state. Best known as “Moonbeam” two flopped runs for President hint how round 3 would go even if he was 10 years younger.

Bernie Sanders: It’s pretty clear that Bernie is at least thinking about another run at the Presidency. His problem is in the same as Brown, if slightly less intense. He’s 75 right now meaning he’ll be 79 election day 2020 asking people to vote for a President who will be in his 80s in office is a tall order. I realize that age for whatever reason didn’t hunt the 70 year who eats trash, never sleeps and hates work outs, but I feel like a nearly 80 year old can’t get away with it. I’ve heard many of his supports saying he should run on age alone. Past this Bernie failed to connect with black and latino voters in 2016 and has made a few notable missteps since becoming a mega political figure. More and younger progressives are interested in running and the fandom around Bernie is unlikely to relight with the same flame in 2020, even if it did, it was not enough in 2016, he needs to widen his support outside of white liberals and college kids to win the primary.

Joe Biden: again age is the biggest single problem he’ll be 78 years old on election day 2020, and like Bernie it’s pretty clear Joe is at least thinking about it. Again I think asking voters to have a President in his 80s is a bridge too far. Though the health of the sitting President might be a factor, if Trump very unhealthy lifestyle plus the horrible stress of being President leads to Trump looking sick, weak and unhealthy after 4 years, even a older man who was slim and fit and sharp might benefit next to a fat slow unhealthy mess. Though it might also serve to highlight the risks of an older President. Past age Joe has no geographic or Ideological base. While remembered with a level of fondness by Democrats, his image is as something of a drunk uncle (I know he does not drink) who’s fun and says what we’re all thinking. I’m unsure that translates and the warm fuzzy feeling people have about him as a member of the Obama team I don’t think boost him much. His last two tries to run for President were total failures and his 2015 non-run didn’t show very impressive polling for a sitting VP

Hillary Clinton: While much younger than the 3 other people in this camp (she’ll be a youthful 72 come 2020) and younger than Trump, she’s a woman and as we saw in this campaign women are badly punished for showing signs of age. It seems fairly clear Hillary does not want to run. Her running would set all the former Bernie people’s hair on fire and generally the press would have a field day printing nasty stories and playing the 2016 primary all over again along with “have the Democrats learned nothing?” all pretending that Hillary didn’t win the popular vote and is super out of touch, blah blah blah. What’s more many of her hardcore supporters suffered a soul crushing loss and might not have the energy to gear up for a 3rd bitter battle to the nomination, while many feminists who like Hillary but aren’t worshipers likely feel it’s time for a new younger woman to try to take down the glass ceiling

When you’re famous, they let you do it:

Kanye West: he said he will run for President, if he means it, or remembers saying it, who knows. A lot of people will say in the age of Trump we should count out any rich or famous person. However this over looks that the Republican Primary voter and the Democratic Primary voter are very different. The later is more likely to be college educated for one thing, as well as ethnically diverse and think experience is important. Getting back to West, he’s generally seen as a huge egomaniacal crazy person. His troubles with mental health are public record with his very public break down in November 2016 (and some other things). His ego and weird need to pick a fight with the First couple of hip hop Jay Z and Beyonce has made him a messy and controversial character even with-in Hip Hop and the black community. What’s more is November trip to Trump Tower and on stage weird pro-Trump rant are unlikely to go away. Also there’s the in-laws, his wife is someone a lot of people love to hate, and his step-mother-in-law Caitlyn Jenner has gotten a lot of well earned stick for being a Republican Trump supporter and rather tone deaf on most issues.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: He has a history, low key granted, as a Republican, has not really voiced any support for any policies or issues. On the plus side he’s handsome, can laugh at himself and seems generally likable and well liked. That said there’s no proof he’s smart in any way and much of his history has been playing over the top characters and then over the top characters making fun of the fact that he’s the Rock. All of which might give Democratic votes Trump flashbacks. If he can speak clearly on issues and takes progressive stands on things he’ll have an outside shot, but if he can’t sound like an adult and draw a line under the guy who stars in the Baywatch remake he has no hope

Mark Cuban: As boorish and bullying as Trump, with vague political ideas that mostly circle around Ayn Rand and discount libertarianism Cuban is unlikely to get Democratic voters hot. Voters will likely also dislike his early softening on Trump after the election. That said Cuban has clearly made a lot of money, a lot of Democratic Primary voters loath Trump and might wish for a candidate who only bullies, attacks, and mocks the object of their hate, his money and experience with politics before now puts him above Johnson or West but behind the next guy

Mark Zuckerberg: One of the handful of business people in the 21st century to be a household name. Young, tech friendly he and his company seem the very embodiment of white millennial ideas of diversity and inclusion. Sadly for the Zuck the place one might expect him to most popular, with people under 35 who are on-line a lot is the place he’s the least popular. Justified or not a lot of people get a creepy big brother vibe from Facebook and Zuckerberg has become something of a Hollywood stock villain type, with Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor just being a retread of his performance from The Social Network. indeed that movie is a major problem for Zuckerberg, he’s a villain and a creep in a hugely popular movie all about him. Zuckerberg is and always has been a slightly awkward, slightly off nerd, and lacks the charm to fight off attacks that he stole Facebook from someone, he’s too California tech kid to be relatable for much of America. That said weirdly Zuckerberg might play well with older voters who didn’t see the Social Network, don’t understand the problems people have with Facebook and see a young, fairly good looking young man who built a company they know and likely use, who’s used his money to do good stuff, who has a charming and beautiful wife and a multi-ethnic family, basically a kind of anti-Trump. Outside of the story of how Facebook started I’ve never heard any stories of him being a jerk on a personal level, and while we laugh at him feeding cows, some people like when the big city liberals come out and get their hands dirty.

The (White) Dude abides:

Steve Bullock: Freshly re-elected in a bad year for Dems out of a Red state. All sounds good, but the state is Montana, who’s Democratic party is hardly reflective of the national party. In a party headed to the left it’s unlikely a western conservative will get people off. past this he has no national name recognition, and his last name is a British slang term for a testicle, something the internet will love

John Hickenlooper: a two term governor of a key swing state that Democrats need to win, Hickenlooper has a fairly progressive record, will likely make stoners and college students happy because his state has legal pot (even though he didn’t support it, that’s likely to be a detail glossed over by 2020). counting against him is that he’s largely unknown outside his state and political nerd circles, and he has a frankly ridicules name and is skinny and odd looking. A strange looking man with a very weird lass name, politics can be piety that way.

Terry McAuliffe: another governor from a key swing state, but like Bullock and Hickenlooper with very little name recognition outside is own state. Past this McAuliffe will have been out of office for 3 years, the 2017 race is likely to get far more attention than his race and if Tom Perriello replaces him, he’ll have been beaten in what looks and feels like a Clinton Bernie rematch, with Perriello as Bernie, close links to the Clintons will likely get him tarred as a corporate Democrat.

Still feeling the Bern:

Tulsi Gabbard: A lot of ink has been spilled about Gabbard, but she’s young, very pretty, multi-ethnic from a minority majority state with a military record. Her support for Bernie endears her to a block of his voters. However, she’s just a Representative, no one since Garfield has jumped from the House to the Presidency. Again remember Democratic Primary voters different from Republican ones. Her support for Assad has won her alt-right fans, but both those facts will likely be horrifying to most Democratic voters. It’s unclear if she’ll be able to use her status as a minority and woman to hide from attacks based on past homophobia and islamophobia. Finally her early meetings with Trump, her statements about Russia and Putin and the bridges she burned down with non-Bernie supporters in the party are all likely to hurt her badly

Elizabeth Warren: Likely the only person the American Left liked more than Bernie going into 2016, and her being a lady and feminist well known for forcefully speaking her mind warmed her to one group Bernie struggled with, Feminists. That said Warren likely suffered damage by sitting out the 2016 primary as long as she did, hardcore Bernie supporters feel betrayed and did nothing to win the hearts of Clinton fans. Past that Warren’s tone and attacking passion has made her a hate figure for Republicans but not widened her appeal past the left of her own party.

The Senator from somewhere

Sherrod Brown: A populist leftie in a key swing state. Downsides being he sided strongly and early with Hillary, thus is “no longer a progressive” to Bernie supporters. Much ride on if Brown can be re-elected in a state that is getting redder all the time, his raspy voice has never lent itself to rising oration, and it’s a little unclear what he brings to the table, despite his best efforts he’s never captured the left of the party’s hearts and minds the way Sanders and to an even greater degree Warren did before 2015.

Chris Murphy: having been in room with Chris Murphy, Chris Murphy thinks he should be President. He’s young, good looking and has laser focus on one easy to understand policy idea that is fairly popular with base Democrats. Sadly for him, that policy is gun control. While nothing he’s saying is radical the NRA will do anything to stop him, and his campaign will likely get attacked early and often by Newtown truers fueled by Alex Jones. bluntly Murphy is not a great speaker or a very interesting guy, nice enough but likely to struggle in any state without be cities with gun crime problems, like say Iowa or New Hampshire.

Cory Booker: He’s young, he’s black, he’s hot. Sadly for Cory every time he opens his mouth people want to hear Obama. Booker lacks Obama’s speaking skills and has failed to impress basically every time he’s gotten a prime time shot at the mic. Past that he doesn’t have a lot of accomplishments to his name, For whatever Reason Bernie supporters went after him hard early in the year for voting against Bernie, if this is a sign of the progressive reaction to him or not is hard to say. Booker seems to be skating on Street Fight 15 years later. Past that Booker is a single man, in politics being young, handsome, and always single makes people talk

Mark Warner: Senator from a key swing state, looks like he was sent from casting to play the President some time between 1940 and 1964. This hinges a lot on what the next 4 years looks like, Warner is not the fire breathing Trump slayer a lot of Democrats want right now, but will they still want that in 2020? Will Warner slowly become a national figure based off being the face of the Congressional inquiry into all things shady Russian and Trump? who can say, if not Warner is too bland and boring, if he’s the claiming face of justice slowly wading toward the truth, thats a leg up

Al Franken: Funny, witty, and good on the attack. Al is the kinda guy millions of liberals are turning to every week, the grandfather of political humor in the style of the Daily Show, as well as of left wing TV (MSNBC’s Maddow got her start with Franken on Air-America Radio) It’s the world he help build that’s keeping millions of Democrats sane. However most of them don’t know this, Al’s more or less been on ice since getting elected though his first book in 12 years might help people rediscover him. Another problem is Franken has been in comedy for 40 years, jokes that were funny and/or off color in the 1970s are surely offensive now, so there are surely hours of clips of Al saying racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic things as joke on SNL and later stand up and in his often crassly funny political books from the 1990s and 2000s

The Ladies doing it for themselves

Tammy Duckworth: A lot of women were put out and also made spitting mad that a sexist monster beat a woman for the Presidency and want a woman badly. Duckworth is a war hero with an inspiring story, a fresh and new face in the Senate. Sadly for her, her disability will surely be an issue, it wasn’t in her Senate race because she was running in a deep blue state, against someone who also had a disability and couldn’t walk well. However a FIT President is important and the standard to be a fit woman President was clearly higher, people won’t be comfortable with a President who has to sit to talk to world leaders. Past that she’s never been a great public speaker and would face “well she’s been a senator for what? 15 minutes?” criticisms

Tammy Baldwin: A strongly feminist Democrat from a state Democrats normally win but lost in 2016 and want back badly. Having heard her speak she’s not amazing but pays the bills. Sadly for her she’s a lesbian, her sexuality, the electability of same, would likely take over her campaign, with people gun shy about “identity politics” it would likely handicap her against more well known candidates.

Amy Klobuchar: One of the longer serving Democratic Women in the Senate, Al Franken’s other half, a well established member of the establishment liberal wing of the party. She likely will suffer by not being as well known as others, she’s also awkward both physically and in speech, funny she’s just a little big too nerdy, to nasally, plus as an establishment woman she’s likely to rub Progressives the wrong way

Kirsten Gillibrand: Young, beautiful, experienced in the Senate and having built on a rock hard anti-Trump record, one of the one’s to watch, the connections to Hillary (a blonde NY Senator holding Hill’s old seat) likely will get those hardcore Hillary supporters behind her, but also runs the risks of setting off progressives, her hardcore anti-Trump stand and not having jumped into the Clinton campaign as forcefully as some may help

Kamala Harris: A lot of people see her as grown in a lab as an admixture of Obama and Hillary. Young, Beautiful, smart, well spoken, black multiethnic and coming out of the State that is framing itself as the anti-Trumpland. Kamala has downsides of course, first being no one is gonna know how to say her first name, but if Obama got over it so will she, second the “what she’s a been a senator for 5 minutes?” her race is likely to get people talking about “identity politics” though she’s managed to make a good case on that, likely her time as Cali AG will bring the wrath of some parts of BLM but we’ll see how much that matters

Too Slick by half

Andrew Cuomo: Governor of a major anti-Trump strong hold, managed to score some out of state progressive brownie points with a very public free college plan that had both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton next to him. However Cuomo is loathed by the progressive base of his state’s party and is seen by basically everyone in the know as a low-key political mobster, his New York sleaze factor is unlikely to go over well in Iowa or New Hampshire (just ask Chris Christie)

Gavin Newsom: Still young, still pretty Newsom has waited a long time to get from “rising star” to Star but he’s almost there, just has to manage to win the California governorship, but that seems pretty likely. Newsom has the record of granting gay marriages at the unthinkable time of 2004 which likely will buy him support of the LGBT community (or at least it’s professional activists) likewise he’s been pro-pot something likely to endear him to college students, much will depend on what he does with real power once Governor, and many will say that he’s only been in high office a year. Past that many again see Newsom as “establishment” making him not very popular with the left of his state party, how much this will be translated outside of Cali, if his slick California air and style will play poorly in eastern rural early primary states is hard to say

My mom asked me what I want for my birthday, and in the middle of talking to me, reached over and grabbed my Lucille necklace and was like “What is this?!!

And then after studying it for a few seconds she sighed and went “Of course.”

My family even knows about my thirsty ass. 

And side note… is it okay to ask your mother to get you Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a birthday present? Asking for a friend….

INTP as president

Solved all the nations problems in the first week, procrastinate until the 4th year to implement them.

Use Air Force One and it’s pilots to mess with the AF, pretend to be a UFO, dive bomb to 200 feet before pulling up, stalk commercial jets and make faces out the windows.

Turn the entire oval office into a “cat room” explain to the press that kitty doesn’t like rooms with corners.

Create a bunch of new national holidays. “Star wars dress up day” “Learn Cell Biology day” “Be a mime day”. Insist that everyone must take off work/school for each one. Especially Congress.

Walk with the white house tour group incognito, mumble complaints about the president until secret service comes to remove me. Photo bomb everyone.

Only ever Pageant wave at the press. Answer their questions with questions. Learn to throw my voice without moving my lips, make rude statements, act shocked.

Say “Off with their heads!” every single chance I get.

Lock myself in my room until there’s at least 5 people begging me to come out.

Jump scare the secret service as often as possible. Hide under furniture so they think they’ve lost me. Play paintball with them. (Inside)

Bring “talking” dinosaur figurines to important meetings. Make people use them if they want to speak to me. Pretend to not understand human.

Make weed legal everywhere so anyone can get the medicine they need, yay!

Astrological Evaluation of Charles Manson

This is a simple analytical case study of Charles Manson in which I will focus primarily on the astrological explanation behind certain quotes of his. You may need basic knowledge of Manson’s life and crimes in order to understand what he’s saying. (It’s a pretty long post so I put it under the cut.)

Keep reading

Imagine having an argument with Alexander

“You’re wrong!” you shouted, waving your hands in the air. “Why can’t you just accept that?”

“Because I’m not wrong!” he responded angrily. “You are!”

“No, I’m not!” You were about to add a colorful word to the sentence, but you were interrupted by the arrival of President Washington.

“What’s the problem this time?” he asked tiredly, glancing between you and Alexander.

“He’s wr–” you started.

“No, she–” he interrupted. 

“He’s claiming that–” you butted in, flinging an arm in front of him.

“Well she said that–” He ducked under your arm and glared at you, trying to keep going.

“You’re looking good today, Hamilton,” Jefferson commented as he walked by, smirking. “If you were going for ‘angry hobgoblin’.”

Both you and Alex turned around and started shouting at him. The two of you took off after the man, yelling curses and death threats.

“Sorry, Mr. President!” you called over your shoulder. “We’ll be right back!”

“Come back here, Jefferson!” Alex screeched, face as red as a tomato. “You look like a… fuchsia tall guy! Who’s stupid!” 

SasuSaku Month - Day 1: First Love || [Fanfic] Prospective Partners I (Sasuke)

Title: Prospective Partners I (Sasuke)

Rating: K/G

Notes: First revision done. I’ll probably re-read it again a few times just to make sure there are no more mistakes ^^ Also, I forgot to clarify a couple of Japanese terms that I used. They’re at the end of the story. I hope you like it :)

Words: 1794

PROSPECTIVE PARTNERS I (SASUKE)

Tired after a long day of meetings, Uchiha Sasuke, President of the Uchiha Corporation threw his briefcase onto the enormous desk of his office and sighed, pulling at his tie while plopping down unceremoniously on his chair. His head was throbbing uncomfortably, the prelude of a massive headache.

Keep reading

2

“Never question a man’s patriotism by the blood that runs in his veins, or by the nationality of his ancestors; we should judge a man by what he is, rather than where his forefathers came…” ~ Manuel L. Quezon


(( So maybe a few of our half-blooded Filipino brothers and sisters are insecure about being a Filipino just because they’re not pure or are teased that they should go back to wherever they are stereotyped to have belonged to because of their looks even if they themselves know deep inside that they are Filipinos who love the Philippines and all. Well don’t be insecure, friends! If you have that Filipino blood, then you are Filipino! If you’re a naturalized Filipino, don’t be insecure! You’re still a Filipino! -just be sure you’re a legal Filipino peep ok, so that problems with the law will be avoided ;;w;“- Even though there are some bad or not so good things with being a Filipino, well, isn’t that the same with other nationalities as well? So don’t let those petty words put you down, stand proud; be proud to be a Filipino! ^_^b ))



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MANUEL L. QUEZON

-was a Filipino statesman, soldier, and politician who served as president of the Commonwealth of the Philippines from 1935 to 1944. He was the first Filipino to head a government of the entire Philippines (as opposed to the government of previous Philippine states), and is considered to have been the second president of the Philippines, after Emilio Aguinaldo (1899–1901). Quezon was a Spanish Filipino, with both his parents being Filipino mestizos.


In 1907, he resigned from the governorship and tried for a seat in the First Philippine Assembly, and he won by the largest  majority, for he was popular with the masses as well as the ilustrados. He became floor leader of the Assembly and distinguished himself with oratory, delivered in flowery Spanish phrases.


During his presidency, Quezon tackled the problem of landless peasants in the countryside. His other major decisions include the reorganization of the islands’ military defense, approval of a recommendation for government reorganization, the promotion of settlement and development in Mindanao, dealing with the foreign stranglehold on Philippine trade and commerce, proposals for land reform, and opposing graft and corruption within the government.
Credit must also go to Quezon who used diplomacy to convince Americans that Filipinos were prepared in governing their own sovereign government.

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REFERENCE/S:

> Based on Aida Rivera Ford’s HEROES IN LOVE [Four Plays], published by Anvil Publishing, Inc.

> McArthur, Douglas (1964). Reminiscences.> Quezon, Manuel L. (1946). The Good Fight.

> Perret, Geoffrey (1996). Old Soldiers Never Die: The Life of Douglas MacArthur.

> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manuel_L._Quezon

(( Yes, Quezon Province was previously known as Tayabas, although it had lots of other names before too. <XD ))