today in gaming
what I’ve learned so far playing FFXV:
Noctis: demisexual introvert, prefers animals to people, babytalks a stray cat he goes out of his way to feed but turns into Sullen Emo Child when forced to interact with adult humans. lowkey aware that Dino is hitting on him but has a -103 buff on flirting and a -50 buff on having his shit together in general. was probably Squall Leonhart in a former life, but has Rinoa’s dog. gay.
Prompto: confused bisexual puppy, why is everyone so pretty he cannot handle??? consistently distracted in battle because Gladio refuses to wear people shirts. will develop a crush on anyone if they stand still long enough. a Tidus/Zidane hybrid minus the tail and daddy issues. smol.
Ignis: highkey a Tired Gay, has no fucks left to give. why are his friends like this. runs on a potent mixture of snark, caffeine and exasperation. daydreams about putting Prompto in a child safety harness. talk shit get hit. doesn’t mind a few dings in his car, but touch his music presets and you’re a dead man. looks like Balthier, acts like Auron.
Gladio: aggressively pansexual but chivalrous as fuck. dedicated InstaGay. secret romance addict. instigator of bad puns, terrible car games and poor decisions made under the influence of alcohol. looks like Auron, acts like Balthier, and probably fucks like the Iron Bull minus the horns.
Conclusion: this game is ridiculous garbage, and I love it.