The Bitch is here, you can all stop obsessing over my old content and start fantasizing about the new right quick. I just got back from a hot date with a woman that makes Mila Kunis look like Morgan Freeman; who’s gonna pony up the dough to comp our meals and pre-date prep? We went out together for a spa day, bikini waxes included. Give your life purpose, those of you losers out there with your fingers itching towards your paypal buttons or grabbing your credit cards know that the only way you can please a superior woman like me is with muchos dinero. I don’t even laugh at the broke.
To my fellow bloggers, don’t be afraid to come at me if you aren’t stunned into slack-jawed silence by my presence. I only play with the prettiest, but I might still give you the time of day, even if you’re an uggo. I’m feeling super generous and charity, like everything else, looks good on a Goddess.