prepackaging

The Mortar and Pestle

I can think of no tool in a witches’ arsenal which requires more finesse than the mortar and pestle. So often people will pick one up, looking forward to pounding and grinding, not realizing it takes so much more than brute force. Resins will gum up, herbs will be stirred with little to no effect, roots will refuse to powder, all causing a great deal of frustration to those who so looked forward to using this marvelous set. But here’s the secret to using a mortar and pestle: brute force is rarely ever needed, and will not work well in most cases.

Working with resins, herbs, spices, flowers, and more can be maddening with a mortar and pestle, as each of these requires different ways of grinding and working. You cannot approach each the same, as each is entirely different. Simply pounding away at everything will not produce the fine powders so often hoped for. In some cases, a powder is simply not attainable. But, with a little patience and cunning, the tool will serve you well. But before we get to any of that, it’s important to note that if you’re having excessive trouble with working with a mortar and pestle, and the set came from a specialty occult shop, it might just be best to toss it aside. Most of the time these sets are too smooth, not having what it takes to actually grind the materials down. A mortar and pestle made for culinary use is usually the best way to go. Such sets are generally not expensive, and will last you a lifetime.

With that in mind, left’s get right to it! Below are a few examples of the different grinding methods I use.

Resins- Resins can be notoriously difficult to powder properly, often succumbing to the friction between the mortar and pestle and gumming up. Even pounding the resinous chunks too hard will result in sticky pieces. When it comes to tree resins, you must consider what it is you are grinding. Don’t pound the chunks with all your might, or try to grind them with force. No, resins require a delicate touch. Use the pestle to gently hit the chunks until they crack apart. Then use the pestle smoothly, gently, with patience. Resins will take time to powder, giving you plenty of chance to focus your will as you work. Before you know, the gently circular grinding motion will produce a fine powder for any use. Be aware, though, that you cannot use one technique for all resins. Copal powders easier than Dragon’s Blood, which powders far easier than Myrrh.

Dried Herbs and Flowers- Another example of a place where brute force will not serve you, though dried herbs and flowers are much more forgiving. Rosemary, jasmine, lavender, and vervain are all good examples here. Simply stamping at these will not be enough. Often times it takes a gentle grinding of these ti create a suitable material for a powder. Some dried herbs, like mugwort, simply will not powder, whereas Jasmine flowers will be reduced to a fine powder in mere seconds. As with resins, take your time. Be gentle. When you grind dried herbs, you’re either working with botanicals you have dried yourself, or that come prepackaged. If you’ve dried them yourself, you’ll have a much easier time. Prepackaged herbs, while useful at times, are very difficult to grind down any further than the state in which they are purchased. It’s possible to do though with yet more patience.

Dried Roots, Barks, and Berries- Don’t let anyone tell you these are easy to grind because holy mother, that is a lie. Dried roots, bark, and berries are prbably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to grind in my life, and these botanicals are some of the only ones where brute force is your friend. Each of them requires a great deal of power to break down. However, once you’ve pounded them apart, the force is no longer needed. You’ll still have to give it some welly, but it won’t require near as much effort once you’ve broken the materials down. Mandrake root is a good example of this. When dried, mandrake becomes wood-like. It’s very difficult to break down. However, once you’ve got it worked down, you can powder it as you would anything else. Other roots are not so forgiving which is why, if you pull your iwn roots, I encourage you to slice the root pieces into disks. These are much more managable than even small pieces, as the larger surface area gives you more to work with. Bark should be handled much the same. As far as berries, you have to be sure they’re comoletely dry before attempting to work then down. Some berries are far easier to powder than others. Juniper berries (not being real berries) will give you hell. But, as always, keep your patience. It will serve you well.

Fresh Botanicals- This is where you’ll want to forget about powdering. When it comes to fresh botanicals, it’s often only feasable to draw out the juices via stamping and bruising of leaves and flowers, or making a paste by the addition of warm water. Roots will create a paste of their own, as will mucilagenous plants like aloe-vera and marshmallow. Berries will simply muddle down. If you’re trying to get seeds from fruits or berries, you can use a mortar and pestle to (gently) muddle the materials, then add water. After some time, the seeds will sink to the bottom while the body of the fruit/berry floats. Using fresh botanicals in a mortar and pestle can create a great poultice, as well as helping release the volatile oils and constituents of a plants for an infusion or decoction.

However you choose to use your mortar and pestle, remember that it will take time to really understand the tool, and longer to get the hang of it. However, the nortar and pestle is, I feel, and integral part of witchcraft practice. One can learn so much from working their botanicals down, smelling them, hearing them, feong what it takes to break them down, and more. While the mortar and pestle have a great deal of uses beyond just grinding, it’s a great place to start. Happy grinding!

anonymous asked:

pleaseee could you write drabble, Emma saying to Killian "I didn't know you could sing"

unrelated to the upcoming musical ep, but here ya go. sorry it’s rather messy. drabble became ficlet.

~1.3k

Emma has never really lived with a guy before. Well, she supposes that she and Neal did kind of live together in the Bug all those years ago, but this is different.

This is sharing a home.

And with that comes a few adjustments. Neither of them have ever owned very many possessions aside from their full wardrobes, but now they have this big house and it’s being slowly but surely filled with… things. Stuff. Books and trinkets on their shelves, an array of colorful toiletries and pretty things in their bathrooms, an admittedly overly stocked cabinet of alcohol, blankets and pillows meant not just for function but also for decoration.

She’s a bit disorganized and messy. Killian is kind of a neat freak after having run his own ship for so long.

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In the Heart of the Storm (Part 4)

Bucky x Reader

Summary – You are house-sitting for some friends on the Chesapeake Bay in the middle of a hurricane. Unbeknownst to you, you’re not alone. Takes place immediately following the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 

Warnings – None

Word Count – 1,215

Notes – It feels so good to be writing again!  This is such a fun fic to write, lots of angst and drama.  I don’t know about you, but Bucky at this point in his timeline makes me a bit nervous. We know what he’s like at the beginning of CA:CW, but right now he’s still raw from the memory wipe and the fight with Steve.  As they said in CA:TWS, he’s “erratic and unstable.”  Who knows what he’s capable of, or what he’s going to do next!  I hope you’re enjoying this one and as always, I appreciate all of your feedback and questions!!!

Part 1  

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Previously:

When he’d finished, his hand went back to your bicep to lead you out of the room, but now that feeling had returned to your arms, the bruised flesh under his fingers was tender to the touch. You drew in a sharp breath as his eyebrows crinkled in confusion.  His left hand pulled your sleeve up as he stared at the bruises on your arm.  His right hand circled your arm again, this time just under the bruises as he brushed his thumb over the marks he’d left on your skin.  

The tenderness of the gesture had your eyes darting to his.  He was still studying the marks that he’d left on your skin, but when he felt your gaze on him, he lifted his eyes to meet yours.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He didn’t mean to hurt you? Those few words had hope billowing up inside of you.  If he didn’t want to hurt you, maybe you might just make it out of this ordeal alive.


 

He unlocked the door and instead of grabbing your arm, he placed a hand at the small of your back to lead you from the room.  The gesture was oddly intimate and had an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach. You couldn’t quite describe what you were feeling, but you knew it wasn’t fear.  After the way he’d cleaned and bandaged the cuts on your wrists, you were starting to think that maybe he wasn’t as dangerous as he’d appeared to be last night.

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anonymous asked:

No offense but gladio reminds me of a power fantasy for white men and is a complete asshole. I had a hard time really liking him.

It’s fine if that’s your opinion, but I think overall I personally liked him. My issue with him was that it seemed like the writers were more concerned with keeping him macho and manly feeling than making sure he was a consistent character. Like, getting in your face and yelling at you to get your princely shit together, then dipping out for a little solo mission action for an entire chapter of the game? What the hell! And a lot of his lines didn’t feel like writers going, “Hey, what would Gladio, the character, say about this?” and were a lot more “What would a tough character say here?” One of his most endearing character traits is his love of cup fucking noodles, but even that was kinda just there for product placement that fell to him by process of elimination, like “We need one of the boys to promote this product…Ignis would never admit to liking prepackaged, sodium-bomb food like that…it’d be too obvious to pick Noctis or Prompto to be the one who loved it…so who does that leave? Gladio.” At the end of the game, I felt really close to Noctis and Ignis after seeing all that they had suffered and lost along the way of this quest, and Prompto was always really open and let us see his struggles and fears so it felt like we really got to know him. And then it’s just like…Gladio, that crazy son of a gun. He loved him some cup noodles and talkin all deep. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(that’s a bit hyperbolic and I did really generally find him likable enough as a character, but I’m trying to level with you here, lol)

Tsunami, Part 2

Title: Tsunami, Part 2
Author: @piecesofscully
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Spoilers: Amor Fati
A/N: Same as Part 1, this sucker is definitely NSFW.  Don’t open it at work (and if you do, don’t blame me if your boss catches you reading smut).  You’ll need to read the two that come before this to understand wtf is going on.  They’re listed below.  This part also qualifies for the “doggystyle” AND “spooning’ boxes for the @xfficchallenges Bingo Challenge! Woot! 

Lastly, HUGE thanks to @bohoartist for offering copious amounts of support as I continue writing this series, the beta x3, and kicking my ass when needed, and to @kateyes224 for being the bae in my beta and the unconditional love. 

That of Which Cannot Be Undone

Tsunami, Part 1


A few weeks later
8:07 A.M.

With the clunky ease of an old building whose charm lay within its outdated facade, the elevator doors open to reveal the hallway, deep set and wide just like the smile that’s been plastered to his face since he dropped off Scully at her apartment.    

 “You’re coming over tonight, right?” he’d asked as he pulled her small black duffle from the trunk of the rental car.

 She nodded and slung the bag over her shoulder.  “I’ll be over in a few hours.”

 “And-”

 “And,” she continued with a grin, “I’m staying the entire weekend.”

The smile had spread across his face then, and became a permanent fixture as he watched her disappear behind the main entrance of her building, during the twenty-seven minute drive to his parking space, and remained in place as he slid the key into the deadbolt of apartment 42.

It was a rare occasion that they were afforded an entire weekend free from the confines of their basement office or the cabin of another airplane.  For the first weekend in what felt like months they were swapping their office chairs for his leather couch, stale coffee and prepackaged snacks from the vending machine for cold beer and Scully’s favorite veggie delight pizza.  He would happily pick off the black olives if it meant having her legs slung over his lap while the latest comedy drones on in the background.    

He makes a mental note to run to Blockbuster as he closes and locks the door behind him.

“Hello, Fox,” a familiar voice purrs behind him.

He spins on his heels to face his living room, his gaze landing immediately on the visitor occupying the far end of his couch.  “Diana.”

She chuckles.  “Were you expecting someone else?”

“No, but least of all you.”  His response comes as slow as his gaze that trails over her, taking in her appearance.  It’s been weeks since he’s heard from her, let alone seen her.  He forces himself to take his eyes off of her round belly and look at her face when he adds,  “We went through a lot of trouble to help you disappear, Diana, but you keep coming back.  Is everything ok?  Is the baby ok?”

“Are you going to come in?” She counters.

He hesitates for a moment before crossing to the couch and sitting at the opposite end.  “You didn’t answer my question.  Is the baby ok?”

“You can sit closer, Fox,” she says with a snicker as she pats the cushion next to her.  “What’s the worst that could happen?  I’m already pregnant.”

A look of shock brushes across his face, but is quickly masked with indifference. “Diana…”

Her brunette hair tumbles across her shoulders as she tips her head back and smiles widely in response, satisfied in the fact that she still has the power to make him feel something.  She hums quietly and places her hand over her swollen belly.  “The baby is just fine.  Healthy, good heartbeat, measuring about the size of a banana.”

A smile twitches at the corners of his mouth as he nods.  “That’s good.  That’s really good.”

Diana shifts her weight on the cushion, turning towards him.  “I have something for you.”

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Anyway since it’s one of those days where I’m on the topic who remembers when Lena Dunham said prepackaged sushi was cultural appropriation

Bababu Daldada (Yondu x Reader)

You picked up a pair of dirty pants from the kitchen floor and gave a loud sigh. This place was an absolute mess. Sure you’d figured things wouldn’t be clean on the ship. A crew of a bunch of dirty loudmouths couldn’t make anything but a mess. Throwing the pants down onto the ground you walked over to the pantry. Opening the first drawer you say nothing but disgusting prepackaged food. You had had enough of this. Things needed to change. You shut the pantry door turning to go find Yondu.

Finding him in your room reading something you put on a serious face. You walked over to him watching him for a moment. He glanced over at you a curious look on his face.

“Yondu. This place is a mess! No one cleans up after themselves! There are pants in the..” you started but he cut you off.

“Blabe de da.” He was looking right at you.

“Yondu! I mean it! There’s dirty clothes, dishes, bottles! Everywhere! Not to mention..” you kept going trying to keep a straight face.

“Dabla.. bee boo dabada.” His face was serious as you kept talking.

“Yondu stop. I’m being serious! The food is atrocious! I don’t think any of us should be eating it. Especially not Peter! All of that prepackaged…” you were fighting to keep the grin off your face.

“Beepbla hmnama dedoo shama.” He didn’t break as he watched you struggling.

“Okay. Okay. Stop!” You laughed pushing his shoulder a little.

He grinned up at you wrapping a hand around your wrist. He pulled you down to his lap continuing to make those noises. You couldn’t stop laughing even as you buried your head in his neck. When he finally stopped he rubbed your back a little.

“I’ll make me clean up. And when we dock ya can get whatever ya want to eat. You and Kraglin can do the supply run.” He agreed giving in to your whining.

“Thank you.” You smiled kissing him once.

tygermama  asked:

Number 6 their vices with Obi Wan please

Obi-Wan’s vices…

Obi-Wan Kenobi will tell you that he has vices just like everyone else in the GAR.

Sleep.

Good food.

Properly brewed tea. Not this prepackaged nonsense that tastes like chemicals.

Sleep.

Silence.

A comfortable meditation cushion.

Sleep.

Dry boots.

A week without visiting the healers or needing any kind of bacta.

Did he mention sleep because he really enjoys sleeping?

What Obi-Wan will not tell you is that his vices are more intimate and emotional than physical.

He craves danger, craves the momentary release of the straight jacket he’s tied himself into. He craves the blessed mental stillness of the battlefield, where the hum of his lightsaber and the rushing white-hot river of the Force combine into the purest and sweetest symphony that only he can hear.

He craves the hit of adrenaline when things go sideways, when all of his mental faculties are called into service of the Problem and the search for a Solution. He is smart, clever and so quick with a quip, an answer, a theory and a hypothesis and he loves to be presented with a challenge, something that will give him pause. Something to examine and ponder over because there is so much boring noise and mental clutter in his day-to-day world.

He craves… well… there’s no real way around it. He craves Anakin’s company, his easy laughter and smiles, the casual way the younger man drapes his arm around Obi-Wan. When they are together the world is brighter, funnier and sharper. Music is prettier, food smells better and Obi-Wan doesn’t feel cold and hollow. He craves Anakin’s trust and friendship much in the same way the other man craves Obi-Wan’s approval and demonstrative affection. They are a star and its favorite planet, forever dancing together through life, through battle and through time and space.

But the deepest, darkest and most secret vice that Obi-Wan craves? The one thing he could never admit to? Not even to himself?

He craves honesty. Obi-Wan wants so desperate to be honest, to tell the world how he feels, to wear his heart on his sleeve like Anakin and Ahsoka. To weep for his dead master, to have confessed his love to Satine all those years ago, to tell Anakin how proud he is of him and how much he loves him now. There are so many secrets, harmless, gentle truths kept locked in the depths of Obi-Wan’s soul because he is a Jedi and Jedi do not have attachments and so Obi-Wan lies.

To his men. He is so proud of them. They deserve so much better and he mourns the loss of each of them like he was his own brother.

To his friends. He cannot believe they stay around but he is thankful for them and will support them, even the slightly dodgy ones like Hondo and Quinlan.

To his family. He loves them, so, so much. He is so proud of Ahsoka, so very proud of her improvement and her tenacity. She is such a bright light. And Anakin. Oh how he loves Anakin. He loves and he loves Anakin and would do anything Anakin asked of him. If he were allowed to be honest.

To himself. You love them and you want to tell them how you feel.


Want to ask Auntie Fishy about her headcanons? Click here and pick a number!

what about Zelda Link and Ganondorf deciding to start living together? like the triforce bros they never got to be!

have a bunch of idiotic headcanons! (I could consider drawing some of them if you ask me to lol)

  • Zelda runs on alcohol. Both Link and Ganondorf think it’s super scary;
  • Ganondorf is the one who spends hours in the bathroom to fix his hair;
  • Link is the shorter and younger than the other two. Also the most spoiled;
  • Link likes to eat. Too bad Zelda and Ganondorf are both bad at cooking. He had to learn doing it by himself in order not to eat prepackaged food for the rest of his life. Zelda and Ganny are really proud of their personal chef;When Ganondorf or Zelda have to works long hours Link stops by to bring them homemade dinner. Both are really grateful (especially Ganondorf since his job requires a lot of physical effort. Zelda is happy to eat something warm too of course); 
  • Ganondorf is Link’s pillow;
  • Link is very ticklish;
  • Ganondorf is a pro in houseworks;
  • Zelda is a genius of domestic economy. The Triforce of Wisdom provides her the power to save enough money to pay all of the bills and also rent. Link isn’t allowed to go shopping by himself because he’s too much of a spendthrift;
  • Link is a pizza delivery boy;
  • Zelda is employed in a famous business company (major degree in statistics and economy? idk);
  • Ganondorf is a construction worker;
  • They go jogging together on their free days;
  • Link is a cat-magnet. He feeds a stray cat whom he had named Gan. Ganondorf is not amused;
  • Zelda and Ganondorf both have a driving licence but Ganny prefers to travel by bicycle. Link rides a motorbike (wich he mostly uses for deliveries). When they’re travelling together Ganondorf is usually the one who drives because Zelda is busy revising her work presentations. Link gets to sit on the front passenger seat and spends the time being annoying to Ganondorf;
  • Link plays guitar and Zelda plays cello. Ganny has a fine singing voice and they sometimes play something together;
  • they’re so happy together, even if Link and Ganondorf sometimes bicker on silly stuff. The real problems are quarrels between Zelda and Ganondorf. It’s just scary and Link always goes taking a walk, buys an ice cream tub and comes back home so they can eat together and make peace. Link still hasn’t got that Zelda and Ganny calm down more because of Link’s puppy eyes than because of ice cream but whatever;
  • When Zelda is out on business trips Link and Ganondorf order chinese takeaway and play video games lazying around in their underwear;
  • Sometimes Ganny has big works and has to spend the night out of town. Link and Zelda watch old photos together and play board games (Zelda always loses);
  • When Link goes out with his friends Zelda and Ganondorf just feel lonely and melancholic and just start drinking together till they fall asleep on the kitchen table. Link always finds them like this and brings them blankets;
  • Link can’t hold his alcohol and dislikes coffee. His favourite drink is “LON LON strawberry milkshake”;
  • Ganondorf loves red wine;
  • Zelda is a whiskey person;
  • Link once got drunk while at home alone with Ganny. Zelda was so angry at them;i wrote too many things ok. I just love this idea lol
Productivity Hacks

Get More Done with Less

Despite all the prepackaged stuff n endless science that we are given to make us more “ efficient ” interestingly enough we’re overloaded & busier by the day - more robotic like if you ask me, what even is enough time ???? 

So from the top of my head these few hacks have helped me a heap in getting shit done ((i’ll add more as I remember)) 

  • 100% Attention = 100% Performance - say you have 2 favourite songs (both 10/10) but if they were to be played together at the same time  however they just become noise. Think that with distractions, what are you focusing on 
  • Prioritise - what is urgent and legit needs to be done right now (assignment due tomorrow or walk your dog, obviously the puppy but you get the idea) 
  • Do nothing - this seems so against the “gotta grind, work till yo ded” but trust me chilling out for a while allows you to come back to what needs to be done with a much clearer head 

sal-reblogs  asked:

Do you have any head canons?

I have literally written 2000 words on the mogami arc alone. If I posted every single one of my headcanons i’d kill everybody’s dash but here are some of my favorites:

-Autistic Mob!!!!

-Autistic Reigen!!!

-Autistic Tome!!!

-Ritsu is afraid of thunder (The sound reminds him of ???% explosion)

See also: Ritsu has seriously sensitive ears and he can hear lightbulbs going out, he can hear dog whistles, and literally a third of the reason why he doesn’t like Reigen is because Reigen has a plug in roach killer in his wall and it makes the most annoying ‘buzzing’ sound ever.

-RITSU CAN SING

-Shou bribes Ritsu with candy to be his art model among other things

-Shou is very, v e r y touch deprived so he’s constantly trying to hug his friends

-Shou never realizes when he’s actually really fucking sick. He could vomit and still blame it on his allergies making him queasy.

-When Dimple was alive, alive he was a B-List actor who never made it truly big and he’s salty that he never got the recognition he deserved so thats what fueled the ‘i wanna be a god’ thing

See also: Reigen owns…every single one of his movies because thats Reigen’s favorite type of movie….Dimple will never e v e r tell Reigen that hes in all of them.

-Shou is afraid of the dark because bad things happen in the dark. (suprise attacks, bugs, ect…) and he sleeps with a nightlight

-REIGEN!!!! CAN!!!! SING!!!! (three separate links) and he wanted to become a singer when he grew up, but because children are awful little shits he stopped liking his own voice….buuuut….when Mob was getting sleepy on the way back from exorcisms Reigen would hum him a little lullaby so he could sleep easier!!!

-Shou has never ever been to school. Hes had some tutors before but He never got the chance to go to an actual school with actual people and sometimes he spies on Ritsu in his school because he’s kinda interested in the school life.

-Shou has no idea how to interact with kids his age. He talks about kids like hes an adult but really hes a kid too.

-Teru cannot dance. If he says he can hes lying. He can DDR but he c a n n o t d a n c e

-Mob still hangs out with that ghost fam!!!! Also the Saint hoshino girls!!!!

-Teruki never got the talk…..He accidentally saw an ecchi and was so traumatized he avoided girls for a month before he actually tried to figure out ‘wHA  T THE FUC K DID I JUST WATCH’

-Teruki’s favorite series is ____ Precure. He thinks magical girls are cute and he used to want to be one. (He also watched the magical boy anime)

-RITSU WATCHES J DRAMA AND K DRAMA

-Shou never got taken to the fucking eye doctor and he needs glasses, and the first time he gets glasses hes like ‘oh…..vision isn’t supposed to be all fuzzy?’

-Teru is a theatre gay™

-When asked what dances he knew Seri did the caramelldansen and asked if it was still relevant….Reigen lost 10 years off of his life because of that.

-Shou doesn’t eat food unless hes has either watched it being made, or made it himself. This behavior concerns Reigen. He’ll eat prepackaged foods but only if he himself buys them or Ritsu or somebody else he trusts gives it to him.

-During the Mogami arc Mob had to eat his food fast or risk it be taken away, and also He didn’t have food at home very often so he’d often be very hungry…This causes him to eat really fast in the real world. He’ll eat an entire plateful of food in less than 5 minutes because hes subconsciously afraid it might get taken away again…

-Seri and Shou have an odd relationship. Sho had a mild distaste for Seri because he was his father’s lapdog…but also Seri has patched him up and cared for him a great number of times….Their relationship improves tenfold once Seri leaves Shou’s father

-Shou hates being in his actual house because its too large and too empty to be a home. 

-Shou started art because it was like therapy.

-mob got into baking and cooking during the mogami arc because he felt like it was something he could do and profit from; however, mogami made sure none of it turned out great. it was always just half decent. but when he tries again out of the arc its actually really freaking good. it isn’t perfect. but its great and everybody who eats it is like ‘holy shit’ where’d you learn this but mob doesn’t know, because everything he’s ever made has been shit

-TSUBOMI IS ACE/DEMIROMANTIC. 

-she’s impressed with muscles because she respects the hard work and determination behind gaining them. and everybody can get muscles right?That’s why she stopped caring about mob’s powers because it really was like impossible for other people to get it and so it grew boring to her-she doesn’t think just 'being great at something’ without the hard work behind being great is great at all idk

-She doesn’t like being forced into situations that’s why she’s so reluctant to be a dimple follower because 'what the fuck, who even is this guy. it’s just a tree. chill.

-hc that she thinks muscles are so cool that she actually decides to work out herself and she does judo 

#secretlyablackbelt jkjk

but she’s pretty good and she likes the productivity of working hard for a goal.

-Tsubomi wears shorts under her skirts.


-Tsubomi is super touchy feely with her friends and she’s always holding hands or leaning on them or hugging them and sometimes she even kisses them!

-somebody asks her out randomly and her response is 'why’ because she’s never even met the dude before

[THIS POST IS GETTING TOO LONG PM ME IF YOU WANT MORE OF MY HCS LAMO]

Let's talk about 2doc....

Let’s PLEASE not forget that the gorillaz are FICTIONAL characters. Nobody is actually getting hurt.

The moment murdoc sticks his big stupid grinch hands through your computer screen and punches you in the mouth feel free to tell me otherwise.

Until then yall can chill the fuck out and let people ship what they want. Believe it or not the world doesn’t come prepackaged with a trigger warning. Grow some tits and get off it will ya.

atratum replied to your post “flint: *tells silver about thomas* silver: before today, I knew of…”

i will be super interested to read your silver/flint thoughts! i really dislike it and it’s hard to put my finger on why.

I don’t dislike it, exactly–I can see the pull of it–but it’s one of the rare pieces of friction that I’m feeling between fandom and canon impulses in the show so far? 

Like, the relationships in Black Sails are fandom-style relationships, almost universally. Like, they’re the kind of relationships you see all the time in fic, but almost never in canon–or at least almost never textually in canon. I’m a multishipper with a weak spot for dysfunctional romantic threesomes, and most of my favorite dysfunctional threesome ships are born out of canon relationships clearly textually intended to be read as boring heterosexual love triangles. Black Sails has two textual dysfunctional romantic threesomes–and the way both relationships develop is something I’m more familiar with from fandom than from published media. Because fandom is often taking up a presumed-heterosexual world and peeling back a layer to reveal the underlying queerness, a lot of fanfic ot3 plots start out with a heterosexual couple and then adds in a third. (A lot of the threesomes I’ve seen in published media, by comparison, either signal their queerness early on, or homophobically treat the threesome as primarily sexual and not romantic.) 

Fandom is also used to reading in bisexual subtext to characters who are clearly romantically and sexually involved with opposite-sex partners but who have deep emotional relationships with same-sex characters (see: Steve Rogers), but Black Sails made that canon, too: there are two canon bisexual protagonists in Flint and Eleanor, both romantically as well as sexually involved with same-sex partners.

Even in a lot of the “straight” relationships, though, there’s something fandom-y about the development, I am pretty sure? I’ve read the Vane/Eleanor fic before (albeit with a different ending.) Jack and Anne’s mututal pining for each other, even absent a third person in their relationship, feels fanficcy to me. 

Basically this is all to say that I think Black Sails is unusual in that most of its canon relationships operate via rules and dynamics I’m most familiar with from fandom (Anne isn’t jealous of Max, she wants Max. Jack has only ever wanted Anne to be happy, and is jealous of her emotional closeness with Max, not their sexual relationship. Miranda isn’t just seducing James for herself, and their terrible sex isn’t just about guilt, the way we’re led to think it is, but about loss. Eleanor isn’t just using Charles, she really does love him, and vice versa, etc.) 

Pretty much the only outlier, as far as I can see, is John Silver. 

John Silver screams fandom favorite. He comes dressed in like fifty prepackaged fandom tropes, and unlike literally everybody else, these are the old tropes, the subtext-dependent tropes. He’s the amoral rogue with a secret heart of gold (but can you really trust him??? who can tell!), he’s pretty heavily weighted with the mythos/characterization of Stevenson’s Long John Silver, probably the most famous pirate in the show, despite being one of the only ones to be entirely fictional. So he’s laden with our associations with that John Silver, as well as our associations with Jack Sparrow, because Jack Sparrow is probably Long John Silver’s most famous direct descendent, and that’s a LOT of associations to lace around a character’s neck. His relationship with Flint is pretty damn shippy–using the same dynamics that made me say “oh, yeah, Will Turner/Jack Sparrow is pretty shippy” back in 2003, when I was thirteen years old. Stevenson’s Long John Silver’s main narrative thing is convincing us that he really does have feelings, and he really is emotionally attached to Jim Hawkins, despite also being ruthless and willing to do whatever it takes to win. His whole deal is being beloved while also fucking everybody over, or maybe at the last minute NOT fucking everybody over because of the aforementioned Heart Of Gold, and fandom has historically eaten that deal up with a spoon. 

Flint and Silver: 
-start out as enemies, but Silver says almost immediately that maybe in the future they’ll be friends
-become friends, but Silver says almost immediately after they’ve acknowledged their friendship that maybe in the future they’ll be enemies
-have a lot of that ‘unlikely allies bantering’ thing 
-silver spends a LOT of time interrogating flint’s emotions, flint’s emotions about him, and his own emotions about flint, all for plausibly Scheme-y Reasons
-silver directly compares himself to flint’s past lovers, again for plausibly schemey reasons 
-flint tells silver things like “I need you” for plot reasons
-grudging trust and mutual respect grows between them, etc 

these are the pieces of subtext I’m used to reading in straight texts–most usually attached to a Long John Silver archetype character, who draws this kind of subtext to himself because again, his whole thing is wondering how much of his feelings are genuine, and suspecting some of his feelings of Transgressing, and emotional language and Scheming language being the same thing. Flint/Silver is a classic slash ship born out of a straight text. 

BUT BLACK SAILS IS NOT A STRAIGHT TEXT. 

Black Sails is queer as fuck. Where are the straight relationships in this show? The ones where nobody is a confirmed bi???? I’m coming up with three, and that’s Silver/Madi, Mr. Scott/The Queen, and That One Red Bearded Pirate Turned Cravat Wearing Guy/Adele. Every major romantic relationship in the show is queer. 

the fact that Silver is a classic Subtext Queer is scraping up against the unavoidable truth that Flint is a Post-Subtext Queer, and he’s involved in a totally different queer romance. Flint/Silver is a slash ship straight out of 2007. Flint/Thomas/(Miranda) is a queer tragic slowburn romance that could only exist in canon in 2017. 

Now, I’m a multishipper, and I have a lot of real love for the John Silver archetype and a lot of nostalgic love for this particular kind of subtextual reading against the grain slash ship. I see the appeal of Flint/Silver, and I can dig it and Flint/Thomas/(Miranda) at the same time. But it also feels WEIRD to feel that while immersed in the show, because going against the grain of Black Sails isn’t like going against the grain of Pirates of the Caribbean–with this show it feels like the friction is scraping away stuff I value about the show, juicy stuff, intriguing character stuff, stuff I love. That, I think, is where the weirdness lies for me. 

*goes to start season four, where all of this will undoubtedly be jossed* 

Ugh...why lady?

So I work in the bakery department of a Brogers store and it’s pretty alright but sometimes…..×-×
My story; This Friday is national donut day and even tho we stocked and made extra, we still ran out of the gross prepackaged glazed dozen donut that come to the store in the freezer and the self service display was pretty bare. EVERYONE. WANTED. DONUTS. I’m sorry but I’m working the closing shift and we are O.U.T. Like five people wanted the gross dozen but had no idea its donut day, but this one lady man….This middle aged lady wanted the prepackaged dozen. I say we’re out, offer chocolate. “We don’t eat THOSE!” Okay. Direct her 2 steps to the self service display, show her the dozen box, mention that it’s after like 6 and they are all half off now. SHE MAKES ME FILL HER BOX AND PICKS OUT EVERY SINGLE DONUT?!? IT’S SELF SERVE?!? I’M ALREADY AN HOUR LATE ON MY TASK LIST?!? “No not THAT one it’s not round!” JESUS crimey lady, she’s still mad about them being a buck fifty more than the prepackaged donuts and snatches the box from my hands and storms off to find a manager. Pls don’t bother me again ;-;

THE POWERPUFF GIRLS MOVIE SENTENCE STARTERS

  • They are utterly helpless and in desperate need of a true hero!
  • Sugar, spice, and everything nice. Who would have guessed that’s what little girls are actually made of?
  • Note to self–good parents don’t leave their kids home alone.
  • They’re really special. I mean really special and I just want to make sure they’ll be okay so what do you think? Do you think they’ll be okay?
  • What’s the point of this game anyway?
  • Oh, no! I’ve been infected!
  • I’m gonna tag you guys now!
  • What are you doing? We’re in a serious pickle!
  • The game is over and it’s your bedtime.
  • Unfortunately, people often get scared or angry when they don’t understand something special or unique.
  • People here are nice. Things will be fine!
  • And a broken refrigerator means snack time is out.
  • He’s in cahoots with the evil pickle cob killers!
  • He hates us. He totally hates us!
  • Should the manufacturing of super powered children be illegal?
  • I was reaching down between my legs to ease the seat back when this atomic bug buzzed in, with no fair warning!
  • They are little freaks, aren’t they?
  • Well, it’s official. I have no idea where we are.
  • Maybe there’s a box we can get in around back!
  • Go away. Please. Do not look at me.
  • You’re no monster, mister. You’re just really dirty.
  • How could you know what it’s like for people to fear and despise you for the very things that make you special?
  • This brain is full of brilliant ideas, but will anyone listen? No.
  • Jump in, take this device and build it into the volcano. We need to harness the energy of the earth’s core for power!
  • Your powers are great! You just gotta believe in yourself!
  • You did very good. Very good indeed.
  • Well, there is one last, teeny tiny, itsy bitsy thing we still need.
  • I thought the zoo kept all the animals in cages.
  • I’m a terrible, terrible parent!
  • But jail? Lawsuits? Angry mobs? What’s next?
  • I’d like to take this moment to thank the little people who helped make this day a smashing success.
  • This isn’t making the town a better place!
  • Do not continue with the ramblings, for my ramblings are the ramblings to be obeyed!
  • That big fat dumb jerk! He duped us! He planned it all along and we fell for it!
  • What does it look like I’m doing? I’m building a house ‘cause now we have to live here!
  • I don’t wanna sleep on a rock!
  • Well maybe if someone hadn’t insisted on walking home from school so we could run into the biggest liar in the universe!
  • Ugh, never mind! I’m not fighting with you and I’m not talking to you, EVER!
  • GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU DARN DIRTY APE!
  • I didn’t mean it! It was an accident! And he wouldn’t let go! And then the dog! That stupid dog! And then the monkeys!
  • Come on, let’s put an end to this gorilla warfare!
  • We’ve got one last monkey to get off our backs!
  • It’s good you little freaks know when you’re beaten.
  • I have to seize control of an area and force its inhabitants to follow my way of thinking.
  • Now let’s get out of this town and find a new, safe place to live!
  • You said to give everyone a little time to understand our specialness. Well, now it’s time for everyone to understand.
  • Oh, my! You’re actual trying to stop me? That’s so cute!
  • Who are you calling cute?
  • None of them will ever understand you as I can.
  • Maybe everyone would like us more if we were just normal little girls.
  • I was wondering if maybe sometime we could like call you to save the day or…whatever.