Can you fucking imagine if Michelle Obama lied about her college education and wanted to remain in Chicago for “her kids”?

White privilege at its finest. Michelle and her TWO kids moved to DC when the time called and adjusted. Republicans have been bitching about her security for years. Melania Trump can’t make her ONE (TEN YEAR OLD) kid change prep schools and is going to cost us all a fortune as a result. Trump spent years claiming Obama wasn’t even American, meanwhile his wife worked here illegally. And she lied about her education. Yet everyone insists on treating her with kid gloves while her husband preaches anti-immigration and paints immigrants as moochers and criminals. BUT SHE IS LITERALLY GOING TO COST THE TAX PAYERS A SHIT LOAD TO REMAIN IN HER LITERAL FUCKING GOLD TOWER. SHE EVEN SPONGES HER FUCKING SPEECHES OFF AMERICANS.

The Obamas literally had to turn in multiple birth certificates to prove Barack is an American. Meanwhile, there’s all this ACTUAL EVIDENCE that Melania came and worked here illegally. And she just removed any mention of her claims of having a degree from her bio (you know, because contrary to her prior claims, she never got a degree).


whisker up and prepare for another eightxciting year of weird tweets and weirder vid! 

can you believe its already a year after pinof 7 im not ready

Do you think there was ever a time, before the beatings started, when Maxon looked up to his dad? Was there ever a time Maxon told Amberely he wanted to be as good of a king as his dad? Was there ever a time Maxon longed for his dad spending time with him, and when it happened, it was the only thing he thought about for weeks? Do you think there was ever a time when Clarkson softened on a 5 year old Maxon and spent time with him? Do you think there was a time when Clarkson hadn’t broken his son? Do you think I’ll ever stop crying over this??


Requested by anon:

You were one of the Auradon Prep kids, meaning your mother was a princess and your father a prince, but that didn’t stop you from hanging out with the four from the Isle of the Lost and playing a game of truth or dare with them. How bad could the dares possibly be? Carlos didn’t even have it in him to hurt a fly and Evie was just a sweetheart along with Mal and Jay proving how kind they actually are underneath the facade. 

“Alright Carlos, truth or dare?” Mal asked starting up the game as Carlos choose truth. “Out of all of us here, who do you find the most attractive?” She questioned as Carlos and Jay shot each other quick and panicked glances as Jay bit his lip, secretly hoping no one took notice in that. 

“Um, I have to say y/n. Who’s next?” Carlos clearly lied and did his best to move the game along. It was already obvious that the two of them had a thing for each other but no one decided to mention it until they were ready to admit that. 

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Jay asked and being that you didn’t want to be outed on who you liked, you chose dare without hesitation. 

 “Okay goody two shoes, I dare you to go steal something out of Charming’s room. Anything big or small, doesn’t matter, try not to get caught though,” he told you with a smug look on his face knowing you weren’t one to do anything of the sort but you were dared and you couldn’t back down from that. 

“Simple I’ll be back in a minute,” you answered him standing up and heading to Chad’s room praying he wasn’t there. Stealing a comb from someone was way easier than having to admit your crush on Evie, thankfully you chose dare. 

The TOP 5 reasons you should be happy about getting a colonoscopy

(fun version)

1. You’re practically getting a colonic/cleanse/detox covered by your insurance while some people pay $60+ for it! You’ll feel so light and detoxified after it you won’t even believe it.
And remember: For free.

2. You’re one of the privileged people having a chance of saying “hallo!” to your intestines or to look at some nice photographs of your insides after you wake up. (Or discuss all the things from “eye to gut” you always wanted to tell them! Like: “Hey there Colon, there’s a thing I always wanted to tell you: Stop being an asshole!”)

3. In case you’re going to get anaesthesia: You can sleep while other people have to work without feeling bad about it! Truly guiltless.

4. You’ll be the NUMBER ONE at every birthday party of your older family members (grandparents, aunt, uncle, parents…) because you know all the secrets about colonoscopies and know all the prep hacks while they’re 50+ years old and have no idea…

5. You can drink as much clear fluids as you want. No limit. Drink all the lemonade, Gatorade, vegetable broth, tea and water you always wanted to drink. Let’s say it again: UNLIMITED! When the prep starts the limit will come to an end.

Maddy’s birthday is next Saturday, and we decided to have her party on her actual birthday this year. We usually have the family over for her actual birthday, and then a party for her and her friends the following weekend, but this year we’re gonna do a big party, with family and her friends all at our house. It’s gonna be really busy around here, but I’m excited and so is she!

I’m hoping that the weather stays nice (it’s been pretty sunny the past few days) and we can do an outside party, and the kids can run around in the backyard and stuff. Hopefully it gets warmer though.

I just can’t believe my baby is going to be EIGHT in less than two weeks!