“Prim, honey, I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to drive, the airport was shut down from the storm. Your father is on the way.”


“She’s not doing well.”

“Thank you for calling me- Lily?”

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you…I’m sorry it was like this.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’m…not really. I can’t believe he’s…gone.”

“No, Cadence, you aren’t taking him. She’s just not feeling well, she just needs time to recover.”

“Look at her, she’s not going to recover, Pearl.”

“Of course she is. And this really isn’t the time to be talking about this.”

“That’s Prel-…Her mother in law?”

“Yes. She’s something else. I don’t know why she’s so obsessed with prying her kid away from her. None of us have even seen him.”

Dear Future Law Student,

Congratulations on your acceptance into law school. Enjoy this moment in your life. Enjoy the endorphins. Law school is hard. I would only wish the last 3years of my life on my enemies. But, please, do not let that deter you from celebrating this accomplishment. I welcome you with open arms to this convoluted elitist society. Misery loves company. Are you scanning the internet (like I did) and trying to figure out ways to prepare for 1L? Please stop.I could go on and on with “useful” tips about professionalism and what books to read, but, if you’re looking for that on Tumblr, you should probably re-evaluate your entire thought process. Nothing you do right now, besides winning the lottery, will make 1L or law school  easier. Do yourself a favor: enjoy sanity. Enjoy guilt free internet surfing, shopping, playing sports, traveling etc. Because, from August 2013 to August 2017(after the Bar Exam), you will always feel guilty for having fun. Prepare to constantly feel inadequate (regardless of whether you are #1 or #233 out of 233 in class). Law school is about a lot more than getting an overpriced education. It’s a mind fuck of epic proportions. There are three things you can do this summer: 1) prepare yourself for a mental gangbang- no lube; 2) prepare your liver for total demolition; and 3) if you must do something “productive” (typical ‘type A’ douchebaggery*) write down a list of things you love about yourself, and your life. Laminate** it, and put it in your wallet. It’ll come in handy in November when you are sleep-deprived, and feeling overwhelmed, incompetent & terrified…. among other things.  BONUS: If you win the lottery, or one of the lucky few with wealthy parents who are supportive, splurge for a lobotomy. Find a surgeon who can somehow implant a photographic memory chip into your brain. If you already have a photographic memory, don’t get to excited… It’s the equivalent of KY(refer to # 1 above). The railing we get in law school is not optional.  I know that this is an exciting time in your life, and I hate to ruin it with my jaded attitude. But don’t let me be your only person you hear this from. Please, do yourself a favor and google “first semester of law school tumblr”. Count the number of positive and uplifting links your google search yields…. (fyi, it’s going to be zero). Soon enough you’ll be one of us. We were all young, bright-eyed beauties once upon a time. In fact, I wrote a post about the evolution of my legal education a few months ago. You can find it here. You’ve already survived the first 5 stages. Can you relate to any of them? If you can relate to some or most, chances are you’re going to be able to relate to the other stages once law school starts. There’s no such thing as a unique or one-of-a-kind law school experience between tumblr lawblrs. That’s what unites us. So go out, live life. Enjoy yourself. Law school is going to be the hardest and least rewarding thing you ever do. You’ll probably hate yourself, but you’ll keep doing it***. Life as a law student is rarely rewarding, but every once in a while, the stars align and something great happens… We all live for those fleeting moments of pure, unadulterated joy.  Strap in, buckle up, roll up a blunt your sleeves… Whatever gets you ready for this dirty fight. Shit’s about to get real. But you’ll be fine. If we (class of 2013) can do this, so can you. Cheers, M. * Calm down, you’re not alone. We’re all 'type A’ douchebags. How do you think we ended up in this predicament law school? Think of law school as a three year, nerdy convention full of type A douchebags. ** You’ll need to laminate it, because if you don’t, your salty tears will wash away your beautiful writing. *** I’m working on a theory that all law students are masochists…. I’m still working on the findings, and do not have any (reportable) conclusive results yet.