pregnant trees

anonymous asked:

yooo could we maybe get headcanons for how the tale, fell and swap skelebros would react to finding out their S/O was pregnant?

( *Oh hey, I just did an imagine on the skelebros finding out the details of human childbirth, so this is the follow-up to that! Enjoy~. )

UT!Sans:

His eyelights go out, and he’s completely still for so long that it seems as if he passed out standing up.  Pregnant?  So.. so it’s possible for a monster and a human..?  Okay, now he’s doing all the research he can, trying to make sure that this cross-breed spawn isn’t going to kill his S/O.  He’s not worried about raising the child–he raised his brother, after all, and he did when he was fairly young himself.  He’s just worried about the logistics and how society is going to handle this and are there going to be experiments involved and oh crap he'shavingapanicattackhelp.

While he tries to act supportive, he’s actually off in his own thoughts most of the time, so he comes across as distant.  He still makes puns and has that grin plastered on his face, but he’s sleeping even worse than usual, and it’s putting a strain on his laid-back facade–and his relationship.  There’s a whole mess of misunderstandings in his future.  

UT!Papyrus:

He’s absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED!  THERE’S GOING TO BE A BABY/BABYBONES IN HIS FUTURE AND IT’S GOING TO BE HIS?!  WOWIE!  THIS IS GREAT!  The first thing he does (after the initial jumping for joy and hugging his S/O) is update his status on the Undernet.  The world must know that he’s going to be a SUPER AWESOME DAD!  He reads every manual on childbirth and pregnancy he can find, and his S/O isn’t going to be doing anything soon.  Heck, she’s only two months pregnant, and he’s insisting she doesn’t lift anything and giving her foot massages every night.  He’s the type that’s going to make sure she eats a careful diet with just the right vitamins and nutrients, and he’s the perfect doting father.  The baby’s room is fixed to perfection within a day, and by the time the pregnancy is reaching its end, he’s a well of information.  Yeah, he’s well-prepared and a rock the entire time.

US!Sans:

His first response is excitement because WOWZERS, HE’S GOING TO BE A DADDY!  HIM!  THE MAGNIFICENT SANS!  AND HIS S/O IS GOING TO BE A MOTHER!  THEY’RE GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER!
But.. then he remembers the conversation he had once upon a time with his neighbor about her being cut open, and his excited grin slowly fades.. and his eyesockets start watering.. and then he’s sobbing into his S/O’s stomach and shouting incoherent apologies.  He’s inconsolable, and his S/O is beyond confused and a little hurt.  Stretch has to be the one to explain the situation, and the S/O ends up comforting Blueberry and insisting that she’ll be all right.  After a gentler explanation of childbirth, Sans seems to take the news better, and he spends the rest of the night cuddling his S/O and asking questions like “WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY’LL LOOK LIKE?” or “DO YOU THINK THEY’LL LIKE PUZZLES?” and “WE NEED TO COME UP WITH A NAME BEFITTING A BABYBONES AS MAGNIFICENT AS OURS!”

Stretch ends up helping the both of them prepare for the baby because Blueberry can barely focus on one single task before he’s bounding to another, he’s so excited.

US!Papyrus:

Well, holy crap, he didn’t think it was possible for a monster-human child to be conceived and yet.. here’s his S/O, holding that little stick with the plus sign on it. The details of childbirth still don’t freak him out, but the responsibility of being a father does.  Sure, he raised Sans (and he still dotes on him as if he’s still a babybones sometimes) so he has experience… but this is a hybrid child.  He has no idea what to expect, and that terrifies him.  

So… he simply stares at his S/O when she tells him, and he’s quiet for a long time.  Finally, he gets a cigarette out of his pocket and starts to light it up, but she snatches it from his teeth before he gets it lit and tells him he can’t smoke around her anymore.  His hands are shaking, but he hides that by stuffing them in his pockets and leaning back into the couch.  

“ok.”

And that’s… all he says.  It’s like he checks out, even though his demeanor never changes.  If she presses him (“Okay?  Is that all you have to say about this?”), he’ll shrug and mumble “congrats.”  


Things go south fast and he doesn’t see his S/O for a solid week.  But after a talk with Blueberry about how “YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR HUMAN IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OFF THAT COUCH, PAPY!”, the gravity of the situation seems to kick in, and he goes over to his S/O’s house for a long conversation.  Things get better, and while he’s still absolutely terrified, he actually starts to get excited over the idea of having a child of his own with his S/O.  

UF!Sans:

He starts sweating immediately.  His eyelights are extinguished.  Is there a sudden earthquake, or is he shaking?  What’s that sound?  
… Shit, that’s the sound of his bones literally rattling.
He’s going to be a dad.  Him.  Much like his counterparts, he raised Papyrus by himself in a rather harsh Underground, so he knows he’s capable of raising a child in this cushy Surface world, but.. still.
“a-are y-..you sure?  absolutely.. p-positive?”  Ugh, his stutter’s rearing it’s ugly head.  "i-i mean, are you.. do you want.. i.. i’m really..“

*i’m really not good enough for you, sweetheart.

But, he doesn’t finish the sentence.  Instead, he holds onto his S/O tight and spends the night trying to envision what his life will be like as a family.  He’s planning out everything the child will need, and even trying to come up with names.  By the next day, he’s actually.. happy.  However, he’s still going to have the occasional Dark Day where he feels like something horrible is bound to happen (because, really, there’s no way things can be going this good for him) and he takes those feelings out on everyone around him.  

UF!Papyrus:

NOPE, NOPE, THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING, THIS IS ALL JUST SOME HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!

Edge is still scarred from that childbirth video he watched.  He was so scared that any kind of intimacy could lead to a pregnancy, but his S/O had kind of laughed off his fears.  She didn’t think it was possible for him to get her pregnant, and so he had finally given in to his desires.. over and over again.  

Okay, maybe he was wrong about the whole yelling thing being the ultimate stress relief.

“YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T THINK THIS COULD HAPPEN!  ARE YOU EVEN SURE IT’S MINE?!”

… Yeah, he went there.  He didn’t mean it–he’s just absolutely terrified–but he still said it.  His S/O curses him, flips him off, and stomps out.  Then, he’s REALLY terrified because now he screwed everything up.  Did he just lose his child and his S/O?!  UGH, WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPENING TO HIM??  He spends the day calming down and trying to come to grips with the fact that he’s going to be a father, and he stays up ALL NIGHT LONG researching human pregnancy.  The next day, he swallows his pride and apologies.  He’s holding a bag of pickles and ice cream, which only confuses his S/O, but then he launches into a big explanation of how he educated himself last night.  Well, at least he’s trying.  

He becomes fiercely protective the entire time and his S/O can barely even go to the bathroom without him trying to follow her in.  Edge has no chill for the next 9 months, and even less once the child’s born.  Sans ends up having to take on a lot of responsibility because Papyrus FLIPS HIS SHIT over every little thing.  

For You

My husband was a very hands-on kind of man. Most of our furniture he cut right from the tree. He was a beekeeper, and built the entire apiary himself. My husband was passionate about these sorts of things. He even handcrafted a pair of fine earrings for me, of silver and diamonds. Tiny flowers. When I lost one, he killed me with his bare hands.

He cut me neatly open, filled me with rocks, and sewed me back shut with a fine hand indeed. In any other world he wouldn’t have left a scar. He took a long drive upstate and threw me into what was then called Heath Pond Bog. I’m not sure if it is still called that, as the bog and I have been the same for a very long time now.

I see - no, ‘see’ isn’t really the right word. There are thousands of creatures living and dying in me, and I am them too. I am a myriad of plant life. I know my slow edges, and my center. That is where I am, where my rock-weighted body is, now. My center.

One night, not so many seasons ago all things considered, my husband came back to me. He took a little boat out onto me, and stood, unsteadily. He held something carefully in his hand. He stood there for quite some time, searching.

My husband took a small pistol from his pocket with his free hand, brought it up to under his chin, and shot himself. He fell backwards from the boat, dropping what he had so tightly held. A piece of jewelry, of silver and diamonds, in the shape of a flower.

He and my lost earring fell gentle into me, and became part of me. I knew, I knew.

I brought them to my center. After but one season, I became pregnant.

A tree is growing there. A strong tree, with bark that could cut someone open if they were not careful. Sometimes the tree is me. Mostly it is my husband. It has arms for branches, its hands wave in the wind. In the winter, the skin dries and falls onto me, it is creaking bones.

I wonder when people will find it. Might they cut down our limbs for those that are missing them? Will they teach us sign language?

With our hands we will sign, ‘for you, for you,’ when we blossom in the spring, and drop our diamond flowers.

possies13 replied to your post: Regarding the tree pic. She doesn’t have a baby…

Pregnant or not,still you shouldnt climb a tree pregnant or after giving birth.

She was either the stupidest pregnant woman alive, the fastest healing post pregnancy woman or she was never pregnant to begin with. 

Take it from a woman that was pregnant, you are not ever going to put your unborn baby in danger, especially for a fucking picture. 

Also, no matter how relaxing your birthing experience was, your vagina is still going to hurt like a bitch because you pushed a BABY out of your fucking body. You pushed a watermelon out of a hole that only a golf ball should be able to squeeze out of. There will be no climbing of trees! Especially that soon after birth! Her Douala or midwife or whoever the fuck she pretends coached her through birth would have told her NO STRENUOUS ACTIVITY until your six week visit.

She wasn’t ever pregnant. I’ve always gone back and forth with it, but not anymore. I have no doubt they used a surrogacy but it boggles my mind that they would lie about it. There’s no reason to lie over something like that. 

anonymous asked:

Did you see that people noticed that gen is "pregnant" in the sitting in the tree pic in the Father's Day post but she's not pregnant in the original tree pic that is probs photoshopped.

Holy shit, nonnie! No I didn’t notice that! Damn, that’s one big bump. Thank you for pointing that out to me!

So, let me get this straight, she was very pregnant and decided to climb a tree for the sake of a family picture? Interesting. I know that when I was pregnant I liked to take risks to put my unborn baby in danger as well, it’s what a good parent does. That is of course sarcasm. 

To be completely honest, I’m not sure if I respect any person that family anymore. Jared and Cortese either lied to the fandom about the pregnancy because they were embarrassed of a surrogacy or they willingly put the unborn baby in danger because Cortese wanted a cute picture. Talk about a fucked up situation!