pregnancy chance

Some things said during "Dan vs Phil: golf with friends"

~ Caddylads
~ My parents call me Tiger Lester
~ That’s me in ball form
~ Straight in the hole for Philly
~ Tiger more like…boring cat
~ Phil is not aiming for the hole, people
~ Time for Danny to put it right in there
~ That was kinda sexy, wasn’t it, how it span around
~ And the chicken nug was taken away from Phil’s mouth
~ I like to plan a wack
~ That’s like 100 % chance for pregnancy
~ Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to golf
~ scoopalicous
~ Call me king of life
~ Hole eleven, we’re in heaven
~ *Capitol voice* Primrooose Everdeeen
~ Oh no Phil, what a flappy ding dong
~ Whatever Trevor
~ You were so far from the crack
~ Wank wank, fuck, shit
~ Oooh, who’s the golf dad

The Pregnancy Scare: A Guide

Step 1. Did you have sexual conduct in which there was a chance of pregnancy?

  • If a penis touched your vulva or went into your vagina with or without without a condom, yes. Go to step 2
  • If a penis came in contact with your vulva through at least one layer of clothing, no. Rejoice that you’re not pregnant!
  • If a penis came in contact with your vulva through one layer of lace or other porous material that is soaking wet, maybe. Go to step 2c.
  • If there was no to very little vaginal entry and no ejaculation, probably not. Go to step 2c.
  • If there was visible ejaculate on a hand or toy that touched your vulva or vagina, yes. Go to step 2
  • If there was no visible ejaculate on anything that came in contact with your vulva/vagina, no. Rejoice that you’re not pregnant!
  • If there’s a chance semen dripped to your vulva from anal or manual sex, maybe. Go to step 2c

Step 2. Were you using a method of birth control or contraceptive? If so which? Were you using it perfectly? Here is your APPROXIMATE percentage chance of pregnancy.

  • I had a oophorectomy and hysterectomy: No you can’t get pregnant.
  • I just had one ovary removed: yes you can get pregnant
  • I had a hysterectomy without a oophorectomy: you could get an ectopic pregnancy and will need surgery to remove it if you do.
  • I’ve been sterilized through tubal ligation or vasectomy/ am using an IUD or Implant: There is less than a one percent chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using breastfeeding perfectly, my baby only drinks my milk, I will stop after 6 weeks or if I start menstruating, I feed my baby every 4 hours during the day and every 6 hours at night: 1% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using breastfeeding but not perfectly: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the depo shot, I get it every 3 months: 1% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the depo shot, but I sometimes get it late: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the pill, but I sometimes forget to take it and I don’t check my medicines: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the ring, I never take it out except to change it on the same day every month or leave it off for the week long hormone free period and I put a new one in when I’m supposed to and I make sure none of my medications interfere with it: 1% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the ring, I sometimes take it out or it falls out or forget to put it in the right time or I haven’t checked my medications: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the patch, I never take it off except to change it on the same day every week or except to leave it off for the week long hormone free week and put a new one on when I’m supposed to and I make sure none of my medications interfere with it: 1% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the patch, I sometimes take it off or it falls off or I forget to put it on the right time or I haven’t checked my medications: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using a diaphragm, I make sure to put it in before genitals touch, I only use the one that was fitted for me, it stays in place 6 hours after intercourse, I make sure to reapply spermicide every time I have sex, I don’t use oil based lubes and I make sure to clean it with warm water, mild soap and I air dry it, I replace it if it cracks or looks damaged or every 2 years and I make sure to insert it correctly, I check it from time to time: 6% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the diaphragm and sometimes put it in too late or too early, or in other ways don’t use it perfectly: 15-24% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using a condom, I check the expiration date and only use packages that don’t look damaged, I keep it in a cool dry area, I check the air bubble, I make sure to put it on correctly and right side out, I put it on before genitals touch, take it off after ejaculation and use one new condom every time genitals are touching, I make sure there’s enough lubrication and not to use oil based lubes, I check it from time to time to make sure it’s still intact: 2-3% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using a condom, I don’t check the expiration date, I use wrinkled packages that have been in my car, pocket or wallet, I don’t check the condom, I don’t know how to put a condom on, I use two condoms at a time, I keep going after ejaculation, I don’t use a new condom every time, I reuse condoms, I don’t make sure it’s lubricated, I use oil based lubes, or I don’t check it: 15-24% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the sponge, I wet it and make sure to insert it correctly, I use a new one every time, and I check to make sure it hasn’t moved: 6% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the sponge, I don’t use it perfectly: 15-24% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the cervical cap, I check it from time to time, I make sure it stays in place for 6 hours after intercourse, I use more spermicide every time I have sex, I don’t share, I insert it correctly and get a new one if there’s any damage or after two years: 6% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the cervical cap, but not correctly: 15-24% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
  • I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy
  • I use spermicide by itself, I am sure to follow the directions on the package of the form I’m using, I check the expiration date, I’m sure to insert it enough time for it to be effective and use it every time I have sex: 18% chance of pregnancy
  • I use spermicide by itself, I don’t look at the directions or expiration date and otherwise don’t use it perfectly: 25% chance of pregnancy
  • I use fertility awareness methods, make sure to take ovulation tests with cervical fluid and temperature tests so that I know when I’m ovulating and follow my cycle for several months to be sure, my cycle is very regular: 9% chance of pregnancy
  • I use fertility awareness methods, I’m irregular or I use just a calender method and count days without knowing for sure when I am ovulating or my cycle changes: 25% chance of pregnancy
  • I use multiple methods: depending on the methods percentages that you’ve seen you can get an idea for the effectiveness

Step 2b. If you were not using protection did ejaculate actually reach your vulva?

  • Yes, and I took the morning after pill within 24 hours: less than 10% chance of pregnancy
  • Yes, and I took the morning after pill within 72 hours: 11% chance of pregnancy
  • Yes, and I took the morning after pill 120 hours or more: the chance is reduced but not by much.
  • Yes, but I’m sure I’m not ovulating: 25% chance of pregnancy
  • No, but it’s been several hours since my partner’s last ejaculation and they urinated before: 15% chance of pregnancy
  • No, but I’m not sure if my partner ejaculated recently, or I know my partner did: could be 25% chance or more depending if you’re ovulating soon or currently
Step 2c. For instances that are more ambiguous I can’t really give you an exact answer. It’d probably be somewhere below 15%

Step 3. If you haven’t already and it’s been less than 5 days since risky sexual activity, take emergency contraception  This can be found at a doctor’s clinic, Planned Parenthood, Free Clinics, some school health clinics and some pharmacies for over the counter.

Step 4. After 3-4 weeks from the time you had risky sex take a pregnancy test. Even if you had what you thought was your period, if the bleeding was lighter or shorter than usual you should take a pregnancy test just in case. These can be found in most pharmacies and grocery stores.

Step 5. Take pregnancy test. If it was negative, take another in a week just to be sure. If negative again, Congrats you probably aren’t pregnant! If you continue to have missed, lighter, or shorter periods or you develop any symptoms you may want to see a doctor just in case. If it was positive see a doctor and get a test there.


Elizabeth: “Honestly Ruben, you have no idea what happened and you’re not letting me explain myself to you. And it could be a total moot point. You heard the doctor. they don’t know if it was the abortion or the miscarriage that caused the scarring. But even with it there’s still a chance of pregnancy, and it’s a fairly simple operation to remove the scarring, which will help.”

Ruben: “I didn’t really hear much of what the doctor said after the abortion bomb was dropped quite frankly.”

Elizabeth: “We can still have our baby, it’s not a total write off.”

Ruben: “Good to know, Lizzie. I need some alone time, I’ll speak to you about this later.”

There is no ethical reason to terminate a pregnancy based on the chance that the child will be disabled None

Holy living fuck I can’t believe there’s actually controversy over this. How does this not register in these people’s mind?

Do you know how many people outlive doctors expectations?

Do you realize that even if it wasn’t the staggering amount that it is, nothing would change about this?

If you don’t think you can’t handle a disabled child then there is nothing wrong whith giving it to someone who can. The child might spend the rest of their lives in an orphanage or they might not. 

But killing someone because their disability is an inconvenience to healthy neuro-typical people is the most ableist and eugenicidal thing possible. 

a compiled list of golf slang
  • caddie lads
  • punch it in the teeth
  • come on jamaima
  • king of maths and all calculations
  • what the fruck
  • ride it into the sky
  • chicken nug
  • the not quite there guy
  • the power of pfhfh pfhfh pfhfhfhfhhf
  • plant a whack
  • come on gladeus
  • 100% chance of pregnancy
  • too much beef
  • get scooped
  • don’t give me a vance
  • spank
  • shamoo shamalamb ??? night ding dong
  • come on cleedus
  • what a floppy ding dong
  • jeebus
  • whatever trevor
  • bink
  • who’s your golf dad

Obviously ferrets, being unisex, have no concept of sex-linked gender or homosexuality. There are a couple of family-role ‘genders’ they can choose from and switch between, like caretaker, manager, and worker; but obviously that’s nothing like bisex species. The closest thing they have to an LGBT scene is asexual communities, and some sex-positive communities living in the more ‘sex is only for babies’ type ferret cultures.

Centaurs on the other hand are reproductively similar to humans, but have almost no sexual dimorphism, even inside their pants. Androgyny is considered attractive, bisexuality is common to the point of normality, and most heterosexual sex doesn’t have a chance of pregnancy b/c of their infrequent fertility cycles, so why reduce a fun bonding activity to just that? Surgery tech is still very limited since they’re the newest species in space, but once developed it should make transition a snap for them. Lucky! Even Staraways humans tend to be more split on these issues than centaurs, as our opinions vary a lot between cultures and planets. Centaurs of course still have their own failings and injustices in the sex and gender ballpark, many societies being matriarchal, but trans and homosexual individuals usually don’t encounter much opposition. Especially now that there’s fucking aliens everywhere and nothing makes sense anymore anyways.

👪 Happy Father's Day 👪
  • ~~
  • Sherlock: *strolls into the lab* Molly, did you know there is an entire day dedicated to fathers?
  • Molly: *smiles* Yeah...
  • Sherlock: *sighs* And all we have to do was lie there.
  • Molly: *giggles* There's a Mother's Day, too, you know.
  • Sherlock: *gesturing* Yes, that makes sense. A never ending job.
  • Molly: *leans over the bench* So, you don't want your present, then?
  • Sherlock: *glances at her baby bump* That'll be a trick.
  • Molly: *rubbing her stomach fondly* It's getting quite difficult to explain.
  • Sherlock: *raises an eyebrow* You want people to know?
  • Molly: *shrugs* Wouldn't be so terrible. My Mum might kill you, though.
  • Sherlock: Nothing compared to what Mary's going to do.
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Sherlock: *swallows* You're quite sure I'm the father?
  • Molly: *gives a half-smile* 'fraid so.
  • Sherlock: *nods* Fine. We'll tell them tonight *kisses her quickly; leaving the lab*
  • Molly: Sherlock?
  • Sherlock: *at the door* Hmm?
  • Molly: *smiles* Happy Father's Day.
  • Sherlock: *smiles cutely* I can get used to that.
Adult decisions are tough

I am going to ramble here for a hot second. I feel weird talking about this on here, but 1) I can’t be the only person going through this and 2) I’ve been blogging for literally YEARS, you guys know way more personal things than this.

So R and I have been talking about starting a family. We are super excited to take this next step and we feel like we’re ready. But we move in June and I’m afraid to be barely pregnant (first 12 weeks) while we’re moving when the pregnancy has the highest chance of loss. I’m in love with the idea of an October/November/Early December birth date, but I don’t really want a late December birth date if we can help it because there are already so many other things I love and enjoy about that time of year. 

So now we are thinking that if we don’t get pregnant this month, we’ll just wait. We are in this odd, stressful, win-win situation where we either get a little baby (Ryan’s life dream) or we get a few more months of enjoying being us together and paying off more debt and stashing more money in to savings. Which is annoying and sucks because we both want this, but at the same time having more money on hand will definitely help.

I don’t know, this all just seems so tough because there’s no right answer.

We finally talked last night about this and Ryan is really good at agreeing with me whenever I think we need to make a decision… but I don’t always just want him to agree, I want to know what he wants and how he feels. So he opened up and told me what he actually wants and would be okay with.

Anyway, after him finally opening up more (not his strong point and in his defense, I talk SOOO much sometimes it’s probably hard to get a word in… I’m working on that), we decided that if it doesn’t work in February, we don’t actually try to get pregnant until after we move in to the house. This will give us more chance to pay off debt, lose weight, and enjoying being married, which is pretty fun in and of itself.

Spark Notes: we aren’t sure if now’s the right time to have a baby but if we aren’t currently pregnant (find out next weekend), then we wait to try again until this summer.

Okay so me and Leah are at ER right now and the dr is asking her questions.

Dr- “we are going to take a urine test and that can tell us if you’re pregnant”
Leah- “there’s no chance of that”
Dr- “and that’s because?”
Leah- *points to me* “that’s my girlfriend”
Dr- “OH. Well okay. Oh. Then yes no chance of pregnancy there”

Sim Sisters

A few years ago I was talking to my sister about video games (she’s 6 years older than me), and we got on the subject of Sim’s because she asked me a bout a glitch she kept experiencing when trying to edit her dogs and I told her how to fix it.
Then I was like “ooo, you know, one of my favorite things to do in that game is make a male character and impregnate every female in town and break up every relationship. I even make a male cat and dog to do the same thing with the animals”
And she just went “I DO THE SAME THING”
And her boyfriend was like “you guys are messed up. Why would you do that?”
And we were just like “endless sex with no chance of pregnancy. Just being able to screw around and not worry about growing a new person. They’re not real. They’re Sim’s. They don’t have feelings”
And he just shook his head
And my sister and I just gave each other a look
And that was a day I realized I have more in common with my sister than I thought

anonymous asked:

Hi I need medical advice. I'm a 17yr old girl and my period is late. It's the 32nd day of my cycle, and I have always gotten my period on the 27th or 28th day of my cycle. I have never been sexually active so there's no chance of pregnancy. I'm not on any type of medication. I haven't been unusually stressed out either. I don't even feel like I'm going to get my period at all this month (usually get cramps, feel bloated, crave red meat a few days before my period comes). What should I do?

Sometimes periods can just become irregular, seemingly for no reason, and at your age in the teen years, it can be common.  If you aren’t having pain, and since you don’t have bloating or any other symptoms, just wait it out for a little bit.  If you don’t get your period and have reached when you are due next month, then talk to your doctor about why that might be.

I didn’t finish my pill pack. Could I be pregnant?

Someone asked us:

I stopped taking my birth control half way through the pack, I had unprotected sex the last day I took the pill. I haven’t taken my birth control since. Is there a chance I could get pregnant from that night? Or will I be okay since I took my birth control that same night?

In short, yes — there is a chance you could be pregnant. Birth control works in large part by preventing ovulation. Since you didn’t finish your pill pack, it’s possible that your body may have released an egg after you stopped taking the pill. Sperm can hang out in the vagina up to 6 days, so even if you ovulate a few days after sex, it’s still possible for you to get pregnant.

If it’s been less than 5 days since the sex happened, you can take emergency contraception to help prevent pregnancy. If it’s been more than 5 days, you’ll have to wait and see. If your period is late, take a pregnancy test. If the test comes back positive, you can make an appointment to talk to a doctor or nurse about your options.

If you’re having sex and you don’t want to get pregnant, use birth control and condoms so that you’re protected from both pregnancy and STDs. If you have trouble remembering your pill or don’t like having to take it every day, you’ve got lots of choices. Our tumblr team could rave for days about how much we love our IUDs and implants, and you can also try the shot, the patch, or the ring.

We’ve got a pretty awesome quiz that helps you find out what might be the best birth control for you, and we’ve also got some pretty awesome health centers staffed with people who would love to help you find your perfect birth control.

-Kellie at Planned Parenthood

Sadly for Tomlinson and the rest of One Direction, it would be impossible to correct all of these false and misleading stories; there are just too many of them. Instead, Louis tends to let things ride and for the most part ignores the gossip. If there is one thing that Tomlinson will have learned over the past five years, it is that some sections of the media will write whatever they please, whether or not there is any basis in truth.

Against that backdrop, you begin to understand why Tomlinson has said virtually nothing about Briana and her pregnancy. The chances are that Louis understood from the outset that the baby Tomlinson story would be the subject of speculation and misleading articles, no matter what he said. As a result, it seems that Louis chose to say nothing. As any fan of Tomlinson is well aware, that brought its own issues, but at least Louis’ own words were not used against him.


Alan Ewart from The Inquisitr

When even the tabloid reporter makes sense


36-year-old Skeleton of Dead Baby Found Inside Indian Woman

Doctors in India have removed a baby’s skeleton from inside its mother, nearly four decades after the unborn infant died. Kantabai Thakre became pregnant in 1978, aged 24, but doctors warned the ectopic pregnancy had little chance of success.

Terrified of an operation, the young mother fled home and sought treatment for the pain in a small clinic near the village where she lived. After a few months the pain subsided and Mrs Thakre was convinced she had been cured.

However, last week the pains returned and Mrs Thakre, now 60, visited doctors in the central Indian city of Nagpur. Having found a lump on the lower right side of her abdomen, doctors at the NKP Salve Institute of Medical Sciences were concerned about cancer but an MRI scan revealed the hard mass was in fact the skeleton of her unborn child.

Doctors have now removed the skeleton. After searching medical records, the team of doctors believe this may be the longest ectopic pregnancy on record. (Source) 

Current thinking on 7x10:

1. Toby is alive. There is a chance they’ll tell us next year that he died, but I won’t believe it.

2. Yvonne is dead.

3. Spencer is alive, just went into shock.

4. Ali’s pregnancy. There’s the chance they’ll pursue the idea of Em’s fertilized eggs being used to impregnate Ali (like while she was drugged)…

OR… It’s possible they’ll pursue the idea that maybe Ali is pretending to be pregnant. Both of those are really terrible and mean storylines, but so is carrying the child of your murderous dead husband.

5. Emily definitely had a moment when she was staring at that baby doll. Either she was freaking out about Ali being pregnant, or she had a revelation. Either way…

Girl is an absolute moron for going back for her stupid phone. To the point where I actually found it to be suspicious.

anonymous asked:

I'm a trans man, she's a trans woman who's been on estrogen for 4 or 5 months. I've been taking Sprintec and not using any other contraception (she has a rough time getting hard as-is.) I heard that estrogen can make trans women infertile. Would it be safe at any point to go off the hormonal BC? Neither of us really wants me getting pregnant.

It’s best not to rely on HRT as pregnancy prevention. Even though it can sterilize a person in time everyone is different so there’s no telling if she will actually be sterile. If you really don’t want to be on birth control you do have options.

I personally push internal condoms. Your partner doesn’t have to be erect to use them, you put them into whatever orifice you want to use. You can do it yourself a little before sex and then just go for it. They are loose so anyone can fit in them. They’re also non-latex which conducts heat a lot better and feels more realistic. Using a little bit of lube helps.

If you just don’t want to use condoms you can try spermicide and spermicide products like the sponge, diaphragm, or cervical cap. Now people with sensitive skin tend to have a bad reaction to spermicide, so if you try it and it hurts or just is uncomfortable for you or your partner I wouldn’t use it.

If you just don’t like sprintec, there are some birth control that can be more pleasant for trans people. For example, progestin only forms can completely get rid of your periods which is super nice. The Depo shot can also cause you to grow more body hair which may be something you’re looking for. If you’d like more information on birth control in particular send us an ask or check out our FAQ

If your partner does have a good doctor she can go to, she can have her sperm levels checked to see what her chances of causing pregnancy are. If they are really low you can use methods like the withdrawal method or fertility awareness that can help up your chances of not getting pregnant. If you’d like any information about those techniques, again you can look at the FAQ or ask us.


Pregnancy part 1 // XaNce

On the first three months of her pregnancy, Chance found Xavier very enticing in everything he does. He would dance around while preparing dinner and she would have the urge to just grab him and make out on the kitchen counter, he would eat dinner and she would imagine he was eating her on the table instead, he would wash the car and her eyes would just wander on his chest, his arms, his stomach down his v-line and down, down, south. She was so aroused almost everyday, and today was no exemption - she crawled under the sheets, between his legs, and caressed him through his boxer.