preggors

So some folks in the chat are aware, that I am attempting to mod my sims game to allow for polyamory romances, because apparently after sims 2 someone at EA developed severe abandonment issues and made the “reputation addition” which means your sims will now fight over that one girl you held hands with back in college. (I wish I was kidding)

Anyway, most of the mods for it were broken, but I finally got one to work today after hours of tinkering with it, and I thought to myself great, I’ll do the Human AU trio from Hunger Pangs for a bit of a giggle, and it was fun cause it worked! They were all flirty and happy and all enthusing about each other to each other and it was super adorable. There was still the option of “confess to cheating” but I just ignored that, it wasn’t triggering autonomously so that was what I wanted.

And then Ursula gets a notification over her head which says “Try for A Baby” directed toward Vlad, and I’m like oh, okay neat that’s not canon but sure, I can totes build you guys a nursery in the basement for your weird demon spawn child, no problem. At which point I’m distracted by Nathan setting fire to the kitchen so have to jump down a level to manage that to keep everyone from dying, but while that is going on I hear the “baby jingle” meaning somebody got preggors from woohooing, so I flip back up to Vlad/Ursula to find she’s playing on the computer, but Vlad, where’s Vlad…oh he’s throwing up in the bathroom apparently, weird, he must have tried drinking from Ursula again (the vamps can’t drink from fairies in the supernatural exp but he keeps doing it and getting sick like wtf buddy come on, I know she’s pretty but keep it together) oh well…except he keeps throwing up. And his back hurts, and he’s emotional and crying and turns out the key phrasing up there is somebody got preggors.

Turns out this mod can allow anyone to get pregnant, but unfortunately the base game is not equipped for this and Vlad now no longer has a body. He’s just a floating pregnant head. Which, okay I can live with this, this is not how I had planned this but sure okay, what can possibly go wrong.

Of course Vlad is now doing the whole “goal: buy a crib” like oh joy my broody vampire is quite literally feeling broody and trying to nest, and while I can do some of the things he wants, like buying terrifying stuffed toys for the nursery and going to the spa because apparently his non existent back is killing him, he has other desires, like, read a “pregnancy book” so he’ll know what to expect but EA is/was (I’ve heard sims4 is better, alas I have 3) such a piece of gendered shit, (EDIT: the mod was causing this, not the base game) male sims literally cannot read books about being pregnant, but Ursula, the non pregnant one can. Meanwhile she’s really excited about becoming a mother without actually being pregnant, Vlad is torn between crying all the time and enthusing to her about their impending unholy vampiric/fairy offspring and Nathan is…Nathan is not doing too well…in fact he’s downright unhappy, and the first I notice it is when he storms up to a now very heavily pregnant Vlad, slaps him and accuses him of cheating, despite the fact that the mod I have installed makes it IMPOSSIBLE for him to do that autonomously and also they are supposed to have ZERO jealously issues because I literally disabled it as a function and YET, there he is being an utter dick to a my poor pregnant vampire who just started bawling his eyes out cause one of his two love interests just threatened to expose him as a vampire and is demanding to fight. Well Ursula is having none of it, she might have fallen for Nathan first but when she sees Vlad being picked on she straight up throws an elixir at Nathan which makes him fall asleep, but then Vlad is upset cause he still technically loves Nathan, and Ursula just attacked him, and now she’s trying to apologize and Vlad is in the bathtub doing the equivalent of NO ONE TOUCH ME, NO ONE EVEN LOOK AT ME, which breaks Ursula’s heart, so then she goes off to apologize to Nathan who has woken up, turned into a werewolf, and is shredding everything in the house.

Meanwhile I’ve got the in game mod screen up, desperately trying to check why this is happening, making sure I have the polyamorous jealousy set to the right function, and according to the mod it’s all working just peachy keen, so I hit reset, thinking I can just re-enable all of it and fix it. But what that does is it makes everyone INSTANTLY HATE EACH OTHER IRREVERSIBLY so now my house has a fairy and a werewolf who want to kill each other on sight, and a vampire who just went into labor but doesn’t want to go outside to go to the hospital because the sun is up and he’ll literally burn so he’s just hiding in the basement crying.

So basically my game went full mpreg trope catastrophe and I’m going back to Skyrim where mods only ever cause occasional bouts of surprise nudity and accidental bardic regicide.