The haze you had fallen into slowly lifted off of your
fatigued body. Why is it so damn hot?
You stretched out your body, which was surprisingly difficult due to the
immense amount of blankets laying on top of you. You pushed them off of you and
sat up, your body feeling stiff. What the
hell happened? I don’t know how much more of this crap I can take. These
outbursts keep getting worse and they hurt like hell… Why can’t the late 1700s
have internet?! You pushed yourself off the bed and wobbled towards the
door, your legs were still feeling a bit weak. Just as you were about to open
the door you heard a voice somewhere close by. You quietly opened the door and
peeked your head out to find the voice, or more accurately the voices. You
looked towards the stairs and found Alex and Rachel talking to each other.
“I’m worried Alexander… I don’t know if I take care of her,
I don’t even know what’s wrong!” Rachel exclaimed.
“I understand Rachel; I am worried about Titania as well.
Since you refuse to allow me to stay until she awakes I can only trust you to
help her. I believe in you, your strong, resourceful and have a good head on
your shoulders, you’ll know exactly what to do when the time comes.” Alex tried
to reassure her but she looked troubled. He sighed and continued. “I only saw
your mother a few times while she was alive but I can easily say you are the
spitting image of her, you even have her name. However, whenever I look at you
I only see your father. You’re a fighter, I know you’ll persevere.” Alex
smiled, Rachel smiled back.
“Thank you Mr. Hamilton.” She said hopefully Alex chuckled.
“You know you don’t have to call me Mr. Hamilton, Alexander
works just fine. Just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean I am any less of
your friend.” Rachel looked down for a moment, almost like she was debating
“Very well, Alexander you better hurry up. The coach will be
here soon and we do not want to keep the children waiting.” Aw, I’m glad they’re on good terms again.
Alex smiled down at her but the look on his face gave you the impression that
he had more decide.
“Actually Rachel, there is something more I must tell you.”
Just after he said that he leaned down and whispered into her ear. You could
see his lips moving but you couldn’t hear what he was saying. When Alex
straightened his posture Rachel’s eyes suddenly perked up.
“Wait, are you serious? That’s unbelievable…” What’s unbelievable damn it?!
“Your father was a very caring man; he would never leave you
without giving you something useful. I believe you are old enough to have this
responsibility. Now come, Betsy will want to say goodbye to you as well.” He
turned and began to walk down the stairs, Rachel following close behind him.
You quietly stepped out of the room and closed the door behind you. You walk
toward the stairs and heard the bustling and excited voices of the family
below. You slowly descended the stairs and saw everyone rushing about in the
main room. Everyone except for Philip, he was sitting at the base of the
stairs, you could only see him from the back but by the way his shoulders were
slumped you could tell he was glum. Angie was wearing her baby pink under
dress, white gloves and matching hat. She bounced around excitedly with AJ in
his light brown vest and coat, you’d never seen him wear a hat until now, it
looked too big on him. Jamie and Johnny were standing by Eliza, they were
wearing similar outfits to AJ except Jamie’s was a dull red and Johnny’s was a
baby blue. Eliza had on her greenish blue under dress with her hair pulled back
into a loose braid. Angelica looked really similar to Angie, especially since
their clothes were practically identical. Rachel was holding Willy, wrapped up
in his little white bundle, she was the first one to notice you looking out at
“Y/N? Oh, praise you’re awake!” She looked like could
finally breathe. Everyone looked over at
you with relief, Philip specifically jumped up from his spot and climbed up to
“Star! How are you? Are you well rested? Are you still cold?
Do you need to eat? You have been asleep since yesterday! Oh my, you look pale!
Do you need my jacket? Because I could-“ You grabbed his hand and shushed him.
“Sunshine I’m alright. You can slow down a bit. And to
answer your questions; yes, no, not yet, and no I do not need your jacket.” I can’t believe I made him this worried…I’m
so sorry Philly… You gave his hand a comforting squeeze, he sighed and
clutched into his chest.
“Thank goodness… I couldn’t sleep a wink last night! When I
saw you on the ground yesterday I was scared out of my wits! You were cold to
the touch… my anxieties got the best of me that night…” It’s moments like these that I remember how much younger he is compared
to me. Physically it’s only three years but emotionally it must be over two
hundred and fifty! I need to stop getting him all worked up… You looked up
at him sadly.
“I’m sorry Philly, I don’t know what got into me there.” You
weren’t lying, nothing about this situation made any sense to you.
“That’s quite alright, I’m simply happy that you are in
better health! I’m glad I got a chance to see you before we leave!” He smiled
blissfully at you as he helped you down the rest of the steps to meet with the
others. Eliza had her arms wrapped around you in an instant.
“I’m so glad that you are up and about dear! You gave us all
quite a fright!” Next it was Angie, hugging you by the waist.
“TT! You’re back! You didn’t get to help me get dressed but
that’s ok! I’m going to miss you but never fear! I shall be back by your side
when the frost passes!” All the boys came rushing at you at once. AJ looked
happy, Jamie looked worried and Johnny was almost in tears. You kneeled down
and scooped all of them up in your arms. Poor Johnny, he looks scared to death.
You pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes.
“Hey now Johnny! No need to cry over me, I’m just fine,
see?” He looked and you and sheepishly nodded his head. Alexander walked into
the room after turning out of the hall, carrying a satchel that he didn’t have
“Titania? You’re awake!” He ran over to you gave you a
comforting hug. You patted him on the back to assure him of your safety.
“Alex, I’m ok, really.” You heard loud footsteps from
outside and the door busting open. That seems to be a running theme in this
house… It was Hercules and Cato.
“Alright everyone, the coach is ready! Everything is already
packed in!” He looked over and noticed you. “Y/N? It’s good that you’re up, I
heard about what happened. I’m glad to see that you’re in higher spirits!” He
exclaimed. You gave him a warm smile. He’s a precious teddy bear oh geez!
Rachel looked over at Cato and trotted over to Eliza, handing Willy over to
her. She made her way over to you and leaned in close to your ear.
“I can’t let anyone get suspicious. When everyone is saying
their goodbyes tell Cato, yes, he’ll know what it means.” She whispered and
then walked past you toward the children. Rachel gave each of them a hug but it
lasted a little bit longer than you expected. She’s pretty affectionate today, huh? She looked somewhat sad as
she walked over to Eliza, hugging her side and saying something in her ear and
then doing the same for Alexander. She
really isn’t acting like herself… She didn’t even look at Cato as she made
her way over the stairs. Something really
isn’t right here… All the younger kids skipped over to you, you gave each
of them a gentle pat on the head and told them you’d see them very soon. As
they all ran out of the room, throwing their cloaks and coats on, Eliza used
her free arm to give you a hug.
“Take care of the house, dear. We shall be back before you
know it!” Alex helped her with her own cloak and she walked out to the
“Be careful while we’re away, alright Titania?” Alex
“Already got it covered… Dadexander!”
He shook his head at your joke.
“Honestly, your word play is simply ridiculous!” He’s
holding in his smile; I see you Alex! He pulled on his extra coat and followed
Eliza outside, Philip was the only one left. He stepped over to you but
something about his movement told you that he wasn’t too happy. Maybe it was
the unusual way his shoulders were slumped, maybe it was the exaggerated steps
he was taking, maybe it was how he held his arms behind his back, or maybe it
was just because you knew Philip.
“I could still convince them to bring you with us, you’d like
it upstate! You could meet my grandfather too, I’m sure father would be alright
with letting you come-“ You shushed him, pulled his right arm from behind his
back and held his hand.
“No Philly, you know I can’t go with you. It’ll only be for
a couple of months, I’ll be back by your side in no time! Besides, Rachel would
be lonely without me here to keep her company.” He intertwined your fingers and
“I know… I’m just worried about you is all!”
“You don’t have to worry about me. If anything I should be
worried! What are you going to do without me there to make sure you don’t get
into trouble?” You joked, he didn’t seem to find it funny.
“I have no idea…” You wrapped your right arm around his
back, hoping that your embrace will reassure him.
“It’ll be okay; you can always write to me if that makes you
feel better? After all, you do have a way with words.” You pulled away and saw
a faint smile on his spotted cheeks. That’s
more like it… Smiles fit you better than anything else. He let go of your
hand and held his arm out to you.
“If that’s the case than I would like to at least have you
escort me out, will you do me the honors?” He asked with a cheeky grin. And we’re back! You linked arms and
began to walk towards the door. Everyone was outside, there were two carriages
and the kids were trying to figure out who they were riding with. You saw Cato
helping Eliza into the carriage, you parted from Philip.
“I’ll be right back; I have to check the luggage.” He nodded
as you made your way over to Cato; once you stood by his side you whispered to
“Rachel wanted me to let you know that she says yes.” You
pulled back and saw him literally holding in his joy. He looked like a kid on
Christmas, like stupidly happy, it was great. He nodded excitedly.
“Thank you so much for telling me! This is fantastic!” He
hurriedly ran over to Hercules, who was helping the Angelicas into the second
carriage. Phillip made his way over to you, he must have decided to ride with
his parents. You were going to say something but you were surprised when Philip
grabbed both of your shoulders and pressed his lips to your forehead, holding
you there like that for a moment. You didn’t move, for that matter you couldn’t,
your heart skipped a beat. He moved his head away and looked down at you.
“I shall write to you every day and think of you every night
when I look up to the shimmering sky. Wait for me until spring approaches, my
shining star.” He hopped into the carriage and closed the door behind him as
you took a step back. The coachmen had the horses pull the multicolored
carriages out onto the empty roads.
“I’ll see you soon sunshine…” You spoke to yourself as the
sounds of wheels and hooves got softer, the colors getting smaller and smaller.
You didn’t notice how nippy the air was due to how warm your cheeks and heart
felt. You heard Rachel call to you from the door.
“Y/N! What are you doing? Do you wish to fall ill?” You
snapped back to reality and hurried back into the house, Rachel closing the
door behind you, she looked nervous.
“So? What did he say? Was he happy? Was he upset? Did I wait
“Whoa, calm down Ray, he was extremely happy! Now you have
to tell me what he was so excited about!” She seemed to shy away slightly. Okay Rachel is never shy, what’s going on?
“I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out and get mad at
“Okay, I promise. I won’t freak out and I will never be at
you. Now spill it, sister.” She took a deep breath blurted it all out at once.
“Cato and are going to run away together, we leave at the
end of December!” What? WHAT?! She
nodded her head happily as she read your surprised expression.
“S-Seriously? Rachel! That’s wonderful! Congratulations!”
You wrapped your arms around her and squeezed her tightly. She hugged back and
both you jumped up and down joyously. You separated and there were tears of joy
rolling out of her green eyes.
“Thank you so much for being so supportive! I really need
that tight now!” She sniffled.
“Of course I’m supportive! You’re my friend and you’re in
love! Wait…why do you need support? Is something wrong?”
“It’s complicated… I’m going to him, I’ll walk if I have to,
the problem is the cold. I’d probably die trying to get there… Oh no, I haven’t
thought about this thoroughly!” She exclaimed. Idea! I have an idea! I love my
“I’ll help you! There’s still a few horses in the stable, we
can ride there together! I’ll even help you pack and everything!” You smiled at
her, she looked relieved. The two of you agreed to the plan, a blissful feeling
washing over you.
rest of that December, the two of you talked. Talked about everything she had
to do. As the frost grew outside the plans started to fall through. Rachel
wrote a letter to each of the family members. It took her days to figure out
what to say to them, it wasn’t until you reassured that you could always write
to them and most likely see them some time in the future that she was able to
relax long enough to write. She gave you one of her old cloaks, the snow
outside was quickly piling up. On the morning Rachel pulled you aside from your
last minute preparations.
“There’s one last thing we need to get, follow me.” She said
as you both fastened your cloaks. She led you down to Alex’s study and let
“Rachel? What are we doing?” You asked. She walked over to
Alex’s desk and started opening drawers.
“Alexander told me that my father left me something that
will help.” She reached into the back of the bottom drawer and pulled out a
larger fabric sack. It looked heavy and you could see several bumps hitting the
“Alexander said that this has roughly $70 in it. My father
left it with him in the intent to give it to me when I’m old enough. It won’t
last forever… but it’ll be enough to get us started at least.” She set the bag inside
her pack that she was bringing with her. She looked on at the house as the two
of you walked through the main room. She knew it may be a while before she saw
this place again, it was especially hard since the people living within were
all she really knew. But she put on a brave face and followed you outside to
picked the horse Rachel told you was most suited for the job and the two of you
climbed on together. And so the two of you set out, the cold was harsh but
luckily the snow was pretty calm. It took you both the entire day to reach the
edge of the estate, the sun had already fallen when you found Cato waiting by
the gates in a heavy coat, carrying several packs. Rachel jumped off the horse
and ran toward him happily, clutching onto him.
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this! Are sure we can
trust your friend to get us to the other side of the state safely?” She asked,
he nodded with confidence.
“Do not fear my love, we’ll be setting up our home together
by next week at the latest!” You got off the horse and waited for them to
settle. Rachel looked over at you with sad eyes, she ran over to you and gave
you a final hug.
“Thank you Y/N. I’ll write to you as soon as I can! We’ll
see each other before you know it!” She smiled.
“I don’t doubt that Rachel.” You grinned back. She thought
for a moment.
“Before I go, let me give you one last piece of advice…
Always run with the thing you love, never from it, or else you’ll lose sight of
it.” She let go of you and went back to Cato and took his hand. “Goodbye, Y/N.
I’ll miss you…” Her smile was sad but her eyes were hopeful. And so they went
off together, disappearing into the night. You climbed back onto the horse and
looked back toward the direction they went.
“I’ll miss you too Rachel…” You ushered the horse to move
forward, taking the route back to the estate. But as you drew closer to
downtown the wind picked up, the snow began to flurry around you. You felt the
cold hit your cheeks like daggers as the night swirled around you. You tried to
keep your fears down but your horse was starting to get agitated. She started
to speed up, moving about in different directions, you couldn’t control her.
“Hey girl! Slow down now!” You tried to calm her but neither
of you could see properly with the thick snow flying past you. “Slow down! St-“
She was going too fast and galloped against the ground too hard, you were
thrown off, a scream escaping your frozen lips. You saw the earth below
approaching you fast, the snow piling up but you recognized grey pieces poke out
from the white mass. You hit the ground powerfully and you could pick out the
sharp pain that hit the left side of your head as it pulled you away.
A sip of tea mixed with vodka didn’t faze him with it’s sour n sweet flavor. The couple of eyes watching his every move didn’t faze him either, they were waiting. Just watching.
He finally broke down, ignoring the anxiety creeping upon him, those eyes. He curled into a ball and let a few slip as he sat his can of something on his bedside table.
A door was heard opening and a soft wisp of hushed whispers etched into his alert soul but didn’t faze him. Evan must have come home from his college party.
He had stayed home due to being sick, depressed, and down right miserable like a bitch in heat. Little did he care, Evan was drunk and he was partially exhausted.
“Home~” A voice happily slurred as the door to Jonathan’s bedroom was opened slowly.
“Welcome home, buddy. Have fun?”
Evan nodded, sitting next to him with a grin, “Me and Sydney made it to the bedroom.”
Jonathan froze up and let out another tear, he was telling his own boyfriend that he had fucked his ex?!
“W-What sweetie?” Jonathan’s voice trembled.
Evan glanced at him in question, “Yeah. We made a few fun things happen and it was absolutely beautiful.”
Jonathan choked on a sob and excused himself, heading out onto his balcony to breathe some fresh air. He’d been cheated on and they had been dating for no less than 8 months now. Why?
“Want to see the fun stuff we made, baby?”
Jonathan let more tears slip and shoved his lover away, “You cheated on me…”
Evan seemed more confused the more Jonathan babbled and rambled on, “You fucked your ex and forgot about me. You left to that party and left me alone and miserable and depressed while you left to have fun with your ex. I thought I knew you better than this, you fucker.”
Evan wrapped his arms around Jonathan, “You’re so childish and immature to think such things.”
“You just said them!” Jonathan accused, shoving his lover from him and noting that Evan hit up against the glass door and almost smashed the glass with his buff muscular body.
The body that slutty ex of his probably molested with her sluttiness.
“I can’t believe you, Fong! You proposed to me last month too!”
Evan blushed and nodded but soon flushed red with anger instead and grabbed Jonathan by the cheeks, “I didn’t cheat on you mother fucker, calm down and let me explain. That bitch and me are over, she wanted to make our wedding plans since she knows me with owls so well and she loves how cute and adorable you are with teddy bears.”
Jonathan froze up and stifled his sobs, “You’re lying! You’re lying! You’re lying! yourelyingyourelyingyourelyingyourelying!”
Evan shook his head and muffled Jonathan’s accusing cries with his lips, placing them against his lover’s in despair for him to believe him. As he pulled awy, Jonathan lazily leaned against him and sobbed.
“Jonathan, you’re always going to be my little teddy bear.”
When no reply came, Evan decided to explain and elaborate what happened and why he actually went to the party. “Me and Syd planned to have a meet up and discuss wedding plans for the future you fool. She had bought you so many teddy bears and me so many owls and we discussed tht their would be red and blue and white and black at the wedding.”
Evan continued when Jonathan stifled his sobs to listen closely, “We didn’t do anything, she’s our number one shipper besides Daithi, you know that as much as I do. Stop being a stubborn, possessive bear and just listen, okay? I’m always going to be here with you, you’re always going to be my little teddy bear unless you want to move on.”
Jonathan whimpered a soft lovely response,”Y-You’ll always b-be my o-owlet..”
“There’s the teddy bear I know and love. Now, before I continue, Jonathan Dennis…” Evan let go of his lover, placing a single peck on his lips before kneeling down and reaching into his back pocket.
Jonathan widened his eyes and let some joyous tears spill as Evan spoke boldly to him, upholding a velvet box with a large band inside that held a dark blue ring with his birth ring crested in the middle of it, “Will you marry me and be forever my little teddy bear, oh so cute and cuddly and adorably mine?”
“Y-yes! Yes! Oh my god, yes!!” Jonathan jumped onto Evan, crying into his shoulder with consistent cries of yes and oh my god.
Evan smiled, “You’ll always be my precious teddy bear..”