precious idiots ugh

The Signs as Tim Gutterson quotes
  • Aires: Evenin' soldier. Uh...I didn't bring my cape. I hope this will suffice
  • Taurus: Keep talking I'm gonna throw this stapler at you
  • Gemini: I can’t carry a tune. I don’t know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is uh, barely legible. But I don’t miss
  • Cancer: At least you got to shoot your father. Mine had the nerve to die before I got back from Basic with skills and a loaded weapon
  • Leo: I'm a deputy U.S. Marshal ordering you to give me some chicken
  • Virgo: I love this shit. This shit gets me hard
  • Libra: I want Sigourney Weaver to choke me out with her thighs
  • Scorpio: You want me to kill 'em or wing 'em?
  • Sagittarius: I'm not playing. I'm an idiot. You can ask anybody
  • Capricorn: This may as well be a slow night in the champagne room for how comfortably erect I'm gonna be watching your bitch ass squirm about
  • Aquarius: You have three seconds before we kill every one of you
  • Pisces: Between the one-legged evaporating computer nerd and the walk-in this morning, you're on fire today