precious hubby

3

The Whale Shark Bbe | Yamazaki Sousuke | 
Happy Birthday to my sweet & awesome king Minji!! ♥ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )

“You dumbass.
“Hey! I didn’t screw up that much!”
“The FBI is hunting you down, you did screw up that much!”

“Hanni, please control your precious hubby before I lose my patience with him entirely.”

“Hannibal, tell your dearest brother to get the fuck out of our house before Jack kicks our door down!”

Hannibal looked up from his book to blink at them. In the lazy, impassive manner cats did when looking at prey they weren’t quite in the mood to hunt.

“My brother’s place is my place. We’re practically the same fucking person.”

A sigh from Hannibal. “Again, Nigel, that is not how twins work.”

“Who gives a shit.”

Will rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, which to Hannibal was basically a signal of how much he was digging his heels in.

“Yakisugi, Hannibal! From Yakushima! The real stuff! Tell him to leave! Or I’ll let my shotgun start doing the talking.”

Nigel’s shoulders tensed, his eyes narrowing.

“I’d like to see you try, cocksucker.”

“A damn good one, might I add.”

Another sigh. “Will. Don’t you have a half-brother in California?”

A pause. “No.”

“Will-”

“I said no, Hannibal! I’m not getting Adam involved in our mess!” Cue a dirty look thrown at Nigel. “Especially that mess.”

“Now listen here you dog-fucker-”

“Nigel.”

“What?”

“Would you be amenable to living in the Northern Californian countryside?”

Another pause as Nigel lit a cigarette, inhaled a mouthful of smoke to calm his nerves, ignored the looks of irritation from both Will and his brother.

“I don’t give a fuck as long as it’s not completely shitty. Which means beer better be included. Good beer too, not the piss water you Americans like to call beer.”

Hannibal smiled thinly. “It’s settled then. We have the makings of a plan.” He closed his book and went to start dinner.

“Excuse me, did I not just explicitly tell you no?” Will followed him into the kitchen, though not without throwing Nigel another dirty look.

Nigel rolled his eyes and went outside to finish his fag. They were probably going to fuck in the kitchen and he wasn’t in the mood to see how his brother’s technique had improved over the years. 

It was fine. He wasn’t interested in intruding upon their honeymoon anyway. And god knows he and Hannibal would have come to blows within the first week. He sighed to himself, hoping Will’s brother wasn’t as difficult as he was.