pray my mom sees these and thinks they are hideous and buys them for me

The Superlative Chemistry 14

“I won’t do it! It is cheating and I won’t stand for for it. Besides there is no way we can fool the school like that.” Sheldon huffs annoyed at his brother’s request.

“It worked in Ferris Bueller.” George says stupidly.

“Yes something worked in a movie about a slacker teenage. A movie that was made over ten years ago, is bound to work in real life!” Sheldon says rolling his eyes.

“So you saying it can’t be done?” Junior asks leaning over Sheldon’s shoulder to what he is typing on the computer.

“It can be done, but I’m not going to do it.”

“You saying you can’t do it?” He asks.

“Oh please! I broke into the CIA’s mainframe from the school’s computer when I was seven! This is child’s play. What I am saying is that what you are asking me to do is flawed. I can change your grades in the schools computer. That does not however change the school’s memory of your grades.The teachers record your grades in a ledger. They will know when you come home with straight A’s your report card has been tampered with. “

“Please Sheldon! You know I flunked third grade and ninth grade! I don’t want to be a 21 year old senior.” Junior begs sincerely but Sheldon is unmoved.

“Actually I think at the age of twenty one the school is no longer obligated to teach you.” He informs him.

“Sheldon if I don’t graduate this year I am screwed. Meemaw won’t pay for community college if I get a GED.” he pleads.

“Then I suggest that you buckle down and study.” Sheldon tells him patting his back awkwardly spinning in his chair.

“ After I show Mom your condoms, I suggest you prepare yourself to listen to Mama cry as she prays for your sins.”

“Technically I have never had sex and the condoms are yours.”

“Technically, she doesn’t know that and all of them are in your sock drawer.” They stare at each other trying to break each other down until Sheldon breaks.

“Perhaps there is something I could do.” he says spinning back around.


It’s dark outside by the time Amy gets back home. Every light in the house is on and somehow the glow from the windows make it seem even more ominous as she pulls in the driveway. She wishes she could turn back around and not go inside at all. It feels like she is walking to her doom as she walks leadenly up the path to her front door. She opens the door cautiously holding her bag from Goodwill against her chest.This time her mother is waiting for her on the staircase as she walks in the front door.

“Amy!” She exclaims jumping up and hugging her. “I’ve been so worried. I went over to Sheldon’s house but nobody was home.”

“I went shopping with Missy. I bought a Prom dress.” Amy says holding out her bag.

“Sheldon asked you to prom that’s wonderful. Let’s see the dress.” She says and Amy knows the fight is over for now. Her mother will never apologize outright. In her mother’s opinion an adult can never be wrong over a child.

“I had to get it at Goodwill because I did not have enough money for the dresses in the store. I think it is pretty considering there was not much to choose from.” Amy says pulling the dress out of the bag and holding it up. Smiling at her hopefully

“Amy! It is… horrible!” her mother exclaims and Amy’s face falls. It was not her first choice but she did not think it was so bad considering the other options in the thrift store. It had her two favorite colors gray and purple.. One half was an iridescent purple, the other was pearl gray. With a wide purple and gray ruffle separating the halves. The sleeves were large and puffy and made of both colors.

“Maybe try it on and see if it gets better/” her mother says and Amy goes to the bathroom and changes into the dress. She comes out and spins around. Then walks towards her mom, waddling in the dresses mermaid style.

“It was not my first choice, but Missy says it is not as bad as the other ones there.”

“What did the other ones look like?” her mother grimaces.

“Well one had the stomach cut out…”

“Oh Amy!”

“I did not buy that one!” Amy says annoyed.

“Amy you are not wearing that monstrosity to prom. It is gaudy and completely unbecoming. You look like a streetwalker.” her mother says her voice trembling.

“What a surprise you disapprove of something!” Amy shouts.

“You watch your mouth young lady. Or else…!” her mother yells.

“Or else you’ll slap me?” Amy asks jutting out her chin.

“Amy can we speak anymore without fighting?” Her mother asks exasperated her voice getting soft.

“Apparently not!” Amy shouts storming up the stairs to her room and slams the door.

Amy throws herself on the bed. The truth was she knew the dress was hideous. Yet it was all she could afford on her allowance. She was to scared to ask her mother for anything. Missy had been so supportive, helping her pick out the best of the worst. At first she had been so excited to go to prom. Now she was thinking about cancelling altogether. No matter what she did she would be made fun of. No matter how hard she tried she would never be normal.


Dinner at the Cooper’s is quiet that night. Normally Sheldon would be happy about it, having a break from the incessant chatter of his family. Time for his busy brain to think of more important things then what Missy did that day. Now however is brain is thinking of nothing he wants to think about. Images Kimberley kissing him, of Amy’s disappointed face, the red mark on her face and gouges on her knees, are swirling around. The kiss still grosses him out. He feels like he can still smell the girl’s cloying section scent on him. That his mouth still tastes like Amy’s tears no matter how fast he shovels in his meatloaf. Then there are the condoms in his sock drawer that feel like they have a pulse of their ow.

“I feel bad for Amy.” Missy says suddenly and Sheldon’s head snaps up. He does too but it is his girlfriend shouldn’t he be the one voicing it?

“Me too! I mean she has to kiss Sheldon.” Junior says making kissy lips at him and Sheldon gives him evil eyes.

For Missy’s part she could not get over how different their lives had been. Missy had always thought her mother was to strict and too christian. Quoting scripture at her for the smallest infractions. Now she saw what a relaxed heathen Mary was compared to Amy’s mom. Her mother may have threatened her with a wooden spoon when she was little but Mary had never struck her.Amy’s mother dictated Amy’s every action even when she wasn’t there.Missy can’t get over the hideous excuse for a prom dress she had been forced to buy.

“Why’ sugar?” Mary asks kindly.

“Her mom is so mean to her momma! When she showed up at our house today she had a mark on her cheek from where her mother had slapped her!”

“You should see her knees from where her mother makes her kneel on grits to pray.” Sheldon adds.

“I bet you got a good close look at her knees.” Junior says suggestively and Sheldon starts to panic. He looks around cautiously to see if anyone is curious how he got a gander at her bare legs. However to the rest of the family seeing someone’s bare legs is hardly scandalous.

“I did not know that! That is terrible.” Mary clucks.she knew her mother seemed a bit odd when they met. Though she never dreamed that the girl’s mother was abusive.

“When I took her dress shopping today she found the prettiest dress. You should have seen her she looked like a princess.”

“Oh well that’s good.” Mary says. “I am sure she will look beautiful.”

“But she couldn’t buy that one because her mother won’t give her money for vanity. She had to use her own money and buy the ugliest dress you have ever seen at Goodwill.”

“It can’t be that bad Missy.” Mary tsks, knowing her daughter’s critical eye for fashion.

“Yeah, Sheldon will want to bone her no matter what she wears.” Junior laughs winking at him. Sheldon opens his mouth to correct him but his mother just slaps Juniors back.

“Don’t be rude Junior! I will not have that talk at the dinner table. You’re embarrassing your brother.” Mary scolds.

“It’s bad, it looks like something from Vanna White’s nightmares. The dress is purple and gray with these huge ruffles.” Missy demonstrates by bulking out her shoulders like a football player.

“Purple and gray are her two favorite colors.” Sheldon supplies helpfully.

“That’s why she picked that dress. Those being your favorite colors are fine, but together? On a prom dress?” Missy makes a gagging motion.

“Stop making fun of her!” Sheldon says angrily. “Don’t pretend to be her friend then criticizes her fashion.”

“I’m not making fun of her Shelly! Every girl deserves to feel like a princess on their prom day! Every girl deserves one magical night. I am just looking out for her.”

“May I be excused?” He interrupts getting up from the table. Between Junior and his constant remarks about his sex life. Missy and her constant prom jabber. Sheldon is feeling overwhelmed.

“Sure baby.” Mary says as Sheldon stomps down the hall.

“No fair! It is his turn to do dishes tonight.” Junior gripes.

“Honey, Shelly is going through a lot right now. Now help your sister clear these dishes.” Mary says snapping her fingers at him.

“I’m going through alot right now too.” Junior mutters as he begrudgingly clears the table.

Sheldon heads to his room and gets ready for bed. It is still early but after all he has been through today he just wants to go to sleep. Maybe when he wakes up his life will be back to being as uncomplicated as it used to be. When all he just went to school and kept to himself.

Now he had to worry about all sorts of things. Missy’s friends attacking him lips first. The elaborate and possibly illegal scheme he was doing to help his brother pass his senior year. Which he would not have to do if not for shiny strips of foil packets hidden under his neatly folded socks. What you used the foil packets for was also weighing heavily on his mind. He was aware that Prom was some sort of milestone. Yet the whole venture was becoming more trouble than it was worth. He thought they would just show up in their church clothes. Dance a few dances together, drink some punch and go home. Now he had to worry about making the night some sort of magical event.

If Amy wasn’t in his life he would not have to worry about any of this. He tries to think what his life would be like without her in it and it’s unthinkable. She may have complicated his life but she also made it so much better. In his seventeen years of life his happiest memories are the ones with her in them. Thinking of their time together Sheldon falls asleep.

His dream starts out like so many others. He is the science officer on the starship Enterprise. The captain is in danger and it is up to him to take over the captain’s chair. A distress signal comes in from another planet. The ship has to go save the stranded crew of a failed mission.

There he finds on of the crew members strikingly lovely. This confuses him he is Vulcan such things should not occur to him. Yet the attraction to this dark haired bespectacled temptress is undeniable. For her he would give up everything and exile himself to the barren planet to be with her. Just as he is about to declare his undying love for her. To forgo Vulcan customs and kiss her she disappears into thin air.

Now he is trapped in a cage. With a group of strange aliens standing over him. Looking at him from behind the bars. He stands up and then he sees the girl tied up and gagged lying on the floor just in front of the bars. They rip off the gag she screams.


Sheldon wakes up with a start, sweat rolling off of him. He never sweats, he hates feeling wet and sticky. Taking it as far as too dusting himself with talcum powder like an old lady to prevent it. The scream had felt to real. Like Amy had really been in his room yelling for help. Then there is a loud knock on his window and he jumps and screams.

“Sheldon!” Then he sees Amy’s pale scared face in the window yelling his name. He jumps up and opens the window. The screen prevents her from getting inside so Sheldon knocks it out. Even though his house is a one story the window is still to high up for her to climb in. Amy pulls over the trashcans and uses them to give herself a boost and Sheldon pulls her in the rest of the way.

“Amy what are you doing here?” He asks once she is safely inside his room. Amy is dressed in a long white nightgown. Her feet are bare and he can tell she had been crying again.

“I can’t stay there Sheldon.” She sobs collapsing into a heap on the ground. She looks so tiny and helpless as she crosses her arms across her knees and lays her head on them. “I am going back to California. I will live with my Aunt.”

“What? No!” Sheldon tells her panicked. “Just wait until fall, we will go together.”

“I can’t Sheldon I am leaving tonight. Then I am going to Harvard. This will be the last time you see me. I am sorry Sheldon.” Then she disappears into thin air.

Then he wakes up for real this time drenched in real sweat. He looks at his alarm clock and sees it is only midnight. His hair is wet and plastered against his head. His flannel pajamas are soaked all the way through. He goes to his window and looks outside hoping to see Amy but she is not really there. He peels off his pajamas and sits on his bed in his underwear. If he changes into his Monday pajamas the rotation will be off. Instead he pulls out his old gym clothes from the mandatory class he had to take last year. Worst six months of his life being forced to wear baggy shorts and play sports.

Sheldon tries to lay back down but he can’t shake this uneasy feeling. The back to back nightmares had left him shaken. The last one had felt so real he was still trying to convince himself it had been all in his head. The only way to do that was to go see her , right now. Just like in his dream opens the window then he pops out the screen. Jumping the short distance from the window to the ground. He puts on a pair of his brothers flip flops abandoned in the yard and sprints over to Amy’s house.

The light in her bedroom is on and he quickly climbs the trellis. In the past twenty minutes his gym clothes have seen more action than all the time he spent in gym class. When he looks in her window she sees her at her desk writing something in a notebook. He taps on the glass and she looks up and smiles. Like she was expecting him to come over. He has to admit it was nice to have someone be happy he was around for once in his life. Amy opens the window and lets him inside.

“I couldn’t go sleep without you either.” She tells him hugging him tightly around his waist. Sheldon is alarmed to see that her nightgown is the same one from his dream.

“To be fair I fell asleep without you just fine.”

“Oh.” Amy says sadly.

“I couldn’t stay asleep without you.” He tells her kissing her head.Amy hugs him tightly and then she lets him go and notices his odd attire.

“What are you wearing?” She asks tugging on his baggy shirt emblazoned with the school’s mascot .

“My old gym clothes.”

“Why?” She giggles as he goes to sit on her bed.

“I had a nightmare and my pajamas were soaked with sweat.”

“What did you dream? It must have been really scary.” Amy asks sitting next to him on her bed. He looks at her and opens his mouth like he wanted to speak then closes it again. “What’s going on Sheldon?” Amy asks worried.

“Are you leaving Amy?”

“No of course not, well not until college but you will be leaving too.”

“Across the country.” He says quietly.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Amy tells him resting her head on his shoulder.

“I heard you scream my name.The whole dream felt so real.” He says shaking his head.

“Whatever you dreamt it’s not real. I’m right here.” Amy says linking her arms with his and resting her head on him. “I wish you had been here earlier.”


“My mom tried to lock my in the sin closet again. I refused and we fought. All we do is fight anymore. We never used to fight.”

“It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not… I am finally standing up to her and she hates it. I used to just do whatever she said. Now I know better. I know it’s not right.” She says firmly they sit quietly together.

“Amy I am worried that my idea of what Prom is and your differ. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Sheldon I just want to dance one dance with you. In front of the school. I just want to feel normal for one day.”

“You are normal.”

“No I’m not! And neither are you! But that is why we belong together.” She says reaching up to his face and kissing him. Sheldon kisses her back, leaning her gently back on the bed. They kiss softly for a while. Then the kiss gains momentum. Amy gets bold and moves her between them, rubbing him first through his shorts. Then moving her hand under the elastic band to feel him.

“I stole condoms from my brothers room today.” He blurts out then goes to kiss her and she removes her hand and stops him. “Why’d you stop?” He asks confused.

“You didn’t bring them did you?” Amy asks worried. Amy knew eventually she wanted to give her virginity to Sheldon. When the time was right. The fantasies that played in her head involved meadows full of wildflowers. Where he would take her gently and tenderly in the grass. Of course in that fantasy he was also riding a wild stallion. In her more realistic fantasy they were in a cabin in front of a roaring fire. With candles lit everywhere and soft music playing. Not in her room on her squeaky bed. Terrified that her mother would walk in or hear them.

“No, of course not.” He tells her looking at her appraisingly with his soulful blue eyes. Trying to figure her out. Sometimes it felt like she wanted more, then when more was presented she panicked.

“Why did you steal them from your brothers room?” Amy giggles snuggling against his chest.

“I wasn’t going to buy them from the store. Just the idea of marching up the counter holding a box is beyond horrifying. I suppose I could have bought some from the gas station bathroom. Those ones also come with something called a Spanish fly. In the end I took the easiest route.”

“When do you want to use them?” She asks stroking his chest softly.

“Well not right now obviously. As to when I had not really thought about it. What happened between us this weekend I wasn’t planning on. If it goes further I want to be prepared.”

“You always think about everything.” Amy says yawning

“The alternative would be to think of nothing.” He tells her sleepily.

“Are you staying the night?” She asks.

“Do you want me too?”

“Of course I want you too. But it’s a school night. “

“Then we will just have to wake up extra early.” He tells her leaning over and setting her alarm clock.

This morning was starting out very strange. First Missy had been awoken by her mother bursting in her room asking where Sheldon was. In his bedroom his window was open his bed disheveled and his pajamas abandoned on the floor.

“Oh dear lord he’s been kidnapped!” Mary wails picking up is discarded pajamas and clutching them to her chest.

“Who would kidnap a seventeen year old boy? Better yet who would kidnap Sheldon! Mama, as soon as he starts talking, telling them they are kidnapping wrong they will return him.” Missy says trying to calm her mother down.

“Sheldon is no ordinary seventeen year old boy! You know that maybe they needed his brain for something.”

“Who? The FBI? Aliens? Is the cast of The X-Files coming to get him? There is a perfectly logical explanation. Most likely he snuck out to be with Amy.” Missy says and then the phone rings. Mary runs to answer to answer the phone.

“Hello? Sheldon where in the hell are you! Oh I see… Well next time leave a note! Alright love you Shelly.”

“Did his mothership come and bring him home?” Missy teases and Mary glares at her putting her hands on her pink fuzzy robe clad hips.

“No, Amy had to do something at the school so she got him extra early. He forgot so he had to get ready really quickly which is why he left a mess.”

“And you belive him? Mama, he snuck out.”

“Now I have to believe what he is telling me is true. I mean look Missy his Monday clothes are out of the closet. Mary says opening it up and showing her the empty labeled hanger.”

“You would rather believe that Sheldon was abducted by aliens. Then believe he is like every other teenager in the world and snuck out to be with his girlfriend.”

“This isn’t the first time they have left for school early Missy! They, unlike some people, are very dedicated to their school work.”

“Fine, he left early to go to school. I got to get ready for school.” Missy says rolling her eyes and heading to the bathroom. After she gets ready George drives her to school. When she tells him about Mamas hysterics and refusal to believe Sheldon would do anything bad.

“She better start believing! I got the shit stealing condoms out if my room.” Junior tells her laughing.

“So they are doing it now?” Missy asks shocked.

“Nah, he is they ain’t and you know how bad he is at lying. Said he just wanted to be prepared.”

“That little sneak! Are you going to tell Mama?”

“I ain’t no snitch!” Junior says offended. “Besides I got him to do something for me to make it even.”

“Good, as much as mama and her blind eye for Shelly annoys me. I got to say I like his little girlfriend. In fact I like her so much I got a little surprised planned for her.” Missy says winking at him as they pull up to the school.

“Whatcu gonna do?” Junior asks spitting his tobacco i to a soda bottle as he gets out of the car.

“You’ll see.”

Missy walks into school searching for her friend Kimberly. Usually Kimberly was waiting for her by the glass doors. Today she was nowhere to be seen. Probably still butthurt or embarrassed by what happened yesterday. Missy hopes so at least she wanted to use that to her advantage. When she finally finds her she is obviously hiding from her.

“Oh Missy! I thought you were going to be late today.” Kimberly says.

“No same time as always.”

“Listen about yesterday, I’m sorry…”

“No need to be sorry to me. You and I are cool. Besides Sheldon told you off.” Missy says smiling.

“I am so glad! I don’t know what I was thinking! Brain fart I guess… So we can just move on…”

“Wait, wait… I said you, I, and Sheldon were cool. Now poor Amy who had to walk in and see you kissing her boyfriend?” Missy says shrugging her shoulders.

“Where is she? I will go apologize to her right now. I feel so stupid for what I did. I will tell her just how much Sheldon hated that kiss.”

“Actually I had something else in mind.” Missy says smiling.

“Like what?” Kimberly asks cautiously.

“You are on the prom committee right? The one that decides the prom King and queen?”

“Yeah…” Kimberley says confused.

“Maybe you could put Sheldon and Amy’s name on the ballot?” Missy asks.

“Missy, I don’t know…” Kimberly balks.

“Please Kimberly! I am not asking you to make them win. It would just be the highlight of Amy’s life to be up on that stage. That poor girl has been through so much. Been teased and bullied her whole life. Something like this would just mean the world to her.” Missy begs.

“Alright, consider it done.” Kimberly sighs.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” Missy says hugging her.

“Now are we cool?” Kimberly jokes.

“Totally.” Missy says wrapping her arm around her and walking down the hall with her.”

Prom is coming up soon! I have a really exciting surprise for the Prom chapter! Stay tuned for it!