John: of course whips out every single goddamn one of his favorite movies who are y'all kidding!! The trolls haven’t seen them, he has to enlighten them. Karkat leaves the room the second John says, “hey guys! What if we-” because he knows what’s coming and he will not be here for it no sir. For reasons beyond any and all comprehension, Terezi becomes absolutely obsessed with the Ghostbusters. Whether she likes the way they handle “ghost justice” or she just likes licking the screen when the ghostly baddies show up, even John regrets showing them to her and everyone admits that it was a grave mistake.
Jade: on her island she used to like going out into the puddles and hunting for frogs. Um. She doesn’t want to do that anymore or possibly ever again. She still likes to take a rain slicker and some boots and go for walks in the rain tho, she’ll find a nice place to sit and be alone with her thoughts. Sometimes Jake will go with her and they’ll sit and listen to the wind in the trees and the roar of the rain together, but more often than not she makes the trek alone. Once Jane realizes this, Jade always comes home to a nice cup of hot cocoa waiting for her on the counter. She warms right up before even taking a sip because this, this is what having a family is supposed to feel like. Not some taxidermic guardian staring her down.
Dave: Uses the time to work on his sick beats which have, surprisingly for everyone but him, become extremely popular with the citizens of Earth C. They don’t know what the mysterious “Obama” creature is that the Knight of Time references so often, and conspiracy theories grow by the thousands. Was he an ancient deity? A fallen ally? A worthy foe? Entire websites are dedicated to putting the pieces together. Dave will also build blanket forts with Karkat in which they watch only the worst and cheesiest of romcoms, no one else is allowed in. Except the Mayor. Cuddles may or may not ensue.
Rose: knits way too many scarves in an attempt not to think about the rain because she is 1000% Done With Rain. She has zero good memories associated with this goddamn precipitation. It reminds her of her drunken mother and of the unfinished quest that still haunts her. To keep her mind off things, she spends rainy days obsessively poring over ancient tomes, writing drafts for “Complacency of the Learned”, and more often than she would care to admit, reading Roxy’s wizard fan fiction. It’s very good and she’s extremely proud. When the power goes out and Rose can no longer see the pages, Kanaya is always there, ready to light the room with her skin and her smile.
Kanaya: shares a similar aversion to frogs as Jade, but can’t help but be fascinated by the rain because she’s never seen it before. Rain on Alternia was extremely rare, even more so for her because she lived in a desert region. It takes her a very long time to get used to thunder, and the first time she heard it her chainsaw was out in record time and she was running around trying to figure out just what the fuck was happening. Once it had been explained to her by a patient, trying her best not to break down into hysterical laughter Rose, Kanaya felt pretty embarrassed but admitted that her reaction had been funny. She loves seeing lightning in the distance, and sometimes tries to light up at the same time.
Karkat: Dave and Roxy show him earth musicals and boy howdy does he fucking love musicals. He was very skeptical at first, but after being assured of romantic content succumbs to the intense peer pressure. Dave’s favorite is Hamilton because anything that can combine rap and history (aka dead things and presidents) is truly the highest form of art. He may or may not know every word to every rap. Karkat, however, latches on to Wicked and does. Not. Let. Go. He relates immensely to the off-color mutant human who stands up for what they believe in and faces incredible odds to become the best!! And she gets a love interest in the end! Karkat argues the entire time that Elphaba and Glinda had a million times more chemistry than Fiyerwho Gives A Fuck, but still cries every time at the end because he’s so happy that Elphaba is happy. Dave often catches him humming the soundtrack and teases him mercilessly for it, but is secretly glad that he helped Karkat find something he cares so much about.
Terezi: Thanks to John, now screams “WHO YA GONNA CALL” every time a ‘crime’ is committed and Justice™ needs to be served. John accuses her of debasing a classic, to which she responds by licking his face and telling him that nobody listens to losers who taste like blueberries. Likes to catch raindrops in her mouth and LOVES the sound of thunder, sounds like sweet, sweet music to her ears. Loves “watching” (smelling) the humans trip all over when the lights go out because cmon just smell your way through it! Trolls have night vision and do not trip, which Terezi finds massively disappointing.
Jane: Cooks the entire time. Raining out? Guess we’re having more cake, everyone! She tries a new flavor combination every time, so far the favorite is lemon cake with raspberry frosting, and the least favorite was carrot cake with mint frosting. Not a good time. She also likes to try out Alternian recipes for the challenge, not to mention because the troll kids are a little sick of human food. After a few months Jane manages to produce a close approximation of grubloaf and it was the happiest cry Karkat had since the time Dave told him they should probably date or something.
Jake: watches the storm through the window, sometimes goes and sits by the ocean to watch the wind stir up the waves. Something about growing up on the island makes Jake and Jade more in tune with the weather, they can feel it deep in their bones whenever a big storm is coming. It also gives them a strange sense of melancholy. Dirk tries to comfort him but there’s something ancient in Jake’s eyes whenever the clouds roll in. Sometimes it’s best when they sit quietly, watching the storm together.
Roxy: makes her own blanket fort suck a dick, Dave!! No boys allowed!! She and Callie built it using a combination of blankets that Rose has knitted for her and generic objects used as building blocks. No Dave, that’s not cheating, maybe if you could make building blocks out of your time powers you wouldn’t feel so inferior to us and our amazing blanket fort which is better than yours. Knows every word to every musical (she had a lot of spare time before the game) and Karkat vaguely idolizes her. Teach me your ways, oh great musical goddess. Watches movies with John and they weave in their own witty commentary, she helps slowly rebuild John’s faith in his shitty, shitty movies.
Callie: has lived underground her entire life and doesn’t know what rain is? Why is water falling from the sky I don’t understand? Also, still getting used to actually being able to see the sky. Finds thunderstorms therapeutic, she likes the constant thrum of the rain, the deep boom of thunder, and the sharp crackle of lightning in the distance. Her favorite place to be is snuggled up in blankets between Roxy, Jane, and Jade, all doing various things but it doesn’t matter because they’re together.
Dirk: will sometimes sit with Jake during his Rain Moods™, other times will watch Hamilton with Dave and they rap along to the entire thing. A lot of the time it will devolve into a rap battle and everyone chooses sides, bets pass along boonbucks like it’s the goddamn horse races up in here. There’s never a real actual set of guidelines that decide who the winner is, the only judge is the Mayor and he is a righteous and fair judge, Dirk and Dave both win equal amounts and no one (mostly) goes deep into debt. Dirk also likes to go running in the rain, he’s never had so much space to just *move* before, and rain was scarce down in post-apocalyptic Texas, so it’s like killing two birds with one stone.
Sollux: The static in the air from lightning messes with his psiionics and it makes for some sicknasty hijinks. Think of a balloon when there’s enough static, every time it thunders Sollux’s hair starts standing on end and if he’s too close to a wall he gets sucked in and stuck. The Great Storm Disaster ensued one day when Sollux decided to rub his feet along the carpet and shock the next person he saw which was, unfortunately, John. It was unfortunate because John, in an attempt to up his pranksters gambit, had a buzzer on his hand. No witness can accurately describe what happened on that horrible, horrible day, only that the blast of cheap buzzing, static electricity, and wackass psiionics threw Sollux and John in opposite directions where they got stuck to the walls and couldn’t move until the storm was over. It also singed John’s eyebrows off. Dave wouldn’t let it go for months.
i was thinking about this for some reason. anyway i hc that rose is good at ice skating and teaches everyone(the rest of the human kids at least)?
john went a couple times when he was younger, hes not the best but he picks it up again pretty easily. he likes to do the windy thing on the ice to make it harder for everyone else. prankster’s gambit galore
rose is like. the best at it.she encourages everyone onto the ice and is probably an inspiration
jade has never done it before, but shes rlly enthusiastic and falls over the first couple times, but shes p good otherwise!
dave has never tried. he didnt want to get on the at first but rose and jade were like come on so he was like fine. he clings onto anyone and doesnt let go. he either falls off them or drags them down with him. hes so so bad dont make everyone else suffer
jane is probably second best at it? likes interweaving between other people a lot, makes her feel free like a bird
jake is eager to try to stand on his own. he falls over a lot, and needs help, but probably gets the hang of it, eventually
roxy is super excited and loves it, even though shes not good! she loves screaming while gliding across the ice with others
dirk is probably pretty decent too. he learnt it from watching anime. he tried to help dave once. never again
Let’s think about this for a moment: Peter Maximoff pre-DOFP didn’t bother to hide his mutation, he didn’t show off either tho. He picked up groceries and his lil sister from school, cleaned the car and was really good at arcade games, and he stole stuff and people suspected him but no one had proof, and at school he had his weird but cool silver hair and devil may care attitude and pranksters gambit. There may be other mutants in town /school but they just acknowledge each other and move on.
But then he actually meets other mutants, goes on a trip with them, breaks Erik out of the Pentagon. It’s all cool and fun and great. But then Magneto does his speech, threatens the president, has an entire stadium in the sky. He’s regretting helping this guy and maybe he confesses his actions to his mom or maybe he keeps quiet. Either way things are different now.
Peter doesn’t do speed runs for errands or to pick up his sister, and at school nobody laughs at his jokes anymore, they send scornful and fearful looks his way, they either avoid him or send blatant antimutant hate, other mutant kids keep their heads down and completely shun him, teachers don’t help him out anymore (with his adhd or bullying), it may get to the point where he drops out. He stops stealing mostly, he still gets food bc he needs the calories and it gets expensive, but with cops already on his case he cant give them more ammo.
But also, he’s the one that broke Erik out. And yea the cameras weren’t working but there were eye witnesses and how many youngsters have silver hair? Not many at all, so now he’s actively hiding his ability. He stays inside more, in the basement, doesnt leave his mom’s house, bc there are antimutant bigots, and cops, and government officials after him. He’s cooped up and goes stir crazy and runs out a few times.
Peter and his mom exchange confessions. He broke Erik out of the Pentagon. Erik is his father. This takes a long while to process and accept and not feel the urge to find him to beat him up (even if Peter’s a bit scared of him). It takes a bit longer to decide what he’s gonna do with this information and even longer to plan and gain the courage to actually leave the house and find him.
Apocalypse happens and Peter doesn’t tell Erik what he knows bc its not the right time. Erik just lost his wife and daughter and a battle is happening so he’ll tell him later. But then when it ends he’s stuck in a cast and Erik is helping rebuild the mansion and Peter’s pretty sure theyre both busy so he’ll wait for things to settle down and give Erik time to grieve. But then he’s leaving again and Peter isn’t sure he should even tell him. He has this extended family, where he fits in and he finally has something to do with his life, something to apply his ability and mind to, and not be caged in his mom’s basement anymore. They both need time to find themselves, and Peter’s an adult, so he doesn’t try to search for Erik or go back home, he stays at Xaviers to be a XMan.
Where are the alphas in chstuck? ive youve got ideas for them, that is
jane runs a popular bakery/joke shop in seattle named the pranksters gambit after her nannas old joke shop, she takes night business classes out of one of the community colleges
roxy is working as a programmer for a small indie game company making a game about a frog and the power of friendship and love
dirk is working like 3 jobs to support both him and dave even tho dave is out all the time (hes a dishwasher on thursday, friday, and saturday at a pizza place, a mechanic at an auto shop on weekdays during the day, and he does some work as a tech support dude) and on top of all that hes working in his very little spare time with a university on advancements in robotics, so all in all hes super busy all the goddamn time and never sleeps
jake is travelling the world for a year or two after finishing college and he occasionally helps the crew out with getting to super remote locations for filming
That ‘imagine if John had retconned the bship crew over to the meteor instead AU’ post got a few notes a while ago and honestly I overlooked the best part of this arrangement, which would be that probably even the most determined starters of romdram might be somewhat deterred if their chaperone was a prank-happy grandmother from the early 1900s who can walk through walls without warning.
AU where all the alpha kids spend th night in a haunted house. Roxy and Jake are determined to prove there’s a ghost while Jane doesn’t believe in ghosts and wants to prove them wrong. Dirk is their camera guy who says he believes, but no one can tell if he’s being sincere or not.
They get locked in and there’s totally a malevolent spirit there that harasses them all night, and then morning comes and turns out it’s just jake/Jane’s asshole cousin that died from an allergy attack like three years ago
Even in death you simply can not beat John Egbert’s prankster gambit
So idk about you but seeing Dave actually play along with John’s ridiculous idea immediately told me they had a very close and playful relationship and I still remember this specific quote to this day because of how cute I thought it was. Also, seeing that it really messed with Dave later on made it even funnier!
I’d like to apologize to everyone who is probably about to find their dash and perhaps other social media pages flooded with nerds taking selfies with this page. In our defense, Hussie said to, and I for one believe that, after getting this webcomic for free for over six years now, the least we as a fandom can do is show our appreciation by helping him get his Prankster Gambit into the infinity zone. One last great act of international trolling before the megapause, the final flashes, and the likely collapse of reality itself. In-comic, I mean. Probably.