practice makes perfect

anonymous asked:

I want to write like you so bad my heart kind of hurts. I want to move mountains the way you do with your words.

don’t write like me. don’t write like anyone else. write like you.

write like the time you broke your tooth. like riding a bike without handlebars. like when the dog bit you even after you thought it liked you. like who buried the hamster. like having your hair pulled. like having to say sorry. like a mistake you never forgot and like compliments you never got. like your mother’s lipstick and your first car. like what was under the couch. like who lived in the closet. 

i write a lot. it’s a lot of practice. i’ve written a lot of things i think are bad and that’s okay. five thousand poems later and some of it is going to be junk. but it’s mine. every word of it came from me trying to find out who i was going to write like. and it turns out the best way to write is to write like my dreams and nightmares and silly heartstrings. 

you are already carrying everything you need to move mountains. you’ve got your own words, don’t you?

When students say that they don't have any talents or abilities

I’m like:

6

I know that I’m a few days late, but I’ve been really enjoying all of the “Current Journals” posts inspired by @journaling-junkie ’s January Journal Challenge, so I knew I had to post my own.

My Current Journal/Sketchbooks: (These guys typically go with me almost everywhere I go.)

1. Handlettering Practice Book #2—Guys, this sketchbook is AMAZING. It is a Canson XL Mixed Media 7"x10" sketchbook that has a really solid medium paper weight at 98lbs. I love the paper. I love the size (you can put an even 2" mat around your artwork to fit a standard 11x14 frame; I’m a framer, this is how my brain looks for paper sizes). I love that it’s spiral bound, so it will lay flat while I’m working. 10/10 definitely going to purchase again when this one is full. I should mention that the page on the left in this picture was inspired by a post by @girlfig that made me laugh pretty hard.

2. Bullet Journal—I’m not entirely sure where I got this journal from (I had it for years before I finally found a use for it). It’s not really my style, but the cover is made out of canvas board making it really sturdy and impossible to bend. This journal is where my brain goes to organize itself. I haven’t posted pages from my bullet journal on here because I don’t take the time to decorate the pages; it’s a no-nonsense place for lists, schedules and brainstorming.

3. My Art Journal—This is where my brain goes to unwind and feel free. I had a hard time finding a page that you guys haven’t already seen, so here’s an in-progress page, even though it doesn’t have too much further to go before it’s done.

4. “Adventures in White” Book—If you’ve been following my #adventuresinwhite tag, you know this a sketchbook of solid black paper, and I’ve been experimenting with every sort of white medium that I can get my hands on. The page shown here is, of course, still in progress, but the lettering is being done with a Gellyroll white gel pen and the galaxy on the right was done with General’s Charcoal White pencil.

5. A Small Collection of My Favorite Words & Phrases—It was $3 from Target and all graph paper, which I thought might be nice for lettering practice. The pages themselves are pretty lightweight though, so I don’t want to use most of my pens and markers for fear I’ll ruin their tips. It’s been pencil-only so far and there’s a good chance it will stay that way.

This makes for a happy Emily. 💛

Post your current journals! I know we’re a few days late here, but I love getting a glimpse of how all of my favorite artists operate behind the scenes.

anonymous asked:

Random but do you have any advice on how to stop taking things too personally?

Yep.

Practice.

It’s hard not to take things personally. People can be really cruel, especially if they are assholes (or suffer from a lack of empathy). 

The first step of practicing not to take things personally is to understand the following:

Most people’s bullshit is not about you.

They might try and blame you for something. They might yell and scream and grit their teeth.  But it’s not about you.  Even if you fuck up, it’s NOT OK to just abuse you over it, especially since, unless you just dropped an infant off the side of a cruise liner, it’s probably not worthy of screaming/yelling/tantrum.

A LOT of people are very bad at managing their emotions.  This is not your job (repeat this as many times as it takes for you to believe this).

As a parent of small children, once you learn that most adults who yell and scream never grew out of their two year old phase of tantruming whenever they don’t get their way, the easier it is to see it for what it is. (Note: some people do have the power to harm you or are acting in dangerous, potentially life-threatening ways. These are not the tantrums I am referring to).

When people say mean things about me, the first thing I do is let it hurt.  I turn the words over in my mind and allow myself to feel upset.

Next, I think about what the person was going through and what sort of person they appear to be.  If it helps, I come up with a backstory about them (they had a bad morning, spilled coffee on their lap, etc), and tell myself the Story About Why Their Bullshit Is Not About Me.

Then, I think of at least three situations in which the thing that I have been accused (laziness, stupidity, being inherently unloveable) are blatantly not true.  It makes it much easier to truly “get” that what was said to me wasn’t ABOUT me or some core definitive trait about me.

Then I find my helpers- people who can confirm that, yes, I am a good person and I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Internet friends, therapists, parents, siblings, friends IRL- find your helpers and your trusted folks and check in with them.

When I know what to expect and I know that I’m going to be supported and loved, I can react less extremely when someone does something or says something cruel and hurtful. This is really hard to deal with, especially when it’s a parent or someone with power over you (I cultivated a sort of dissociative numbness when I was dealing with my abusive mother as a teenager, but I did eventually have to deal with it and come to terms with it. YMMV). 

The most important thing is for you to not beat yourself up because this is hard.  IT IS HARD to learn how to manage shitty people throwing their shitty emotions at you.  It is DIFFICULT to learn how to be healthy about your reaction and not spiral down into a depressive state.

But it is worth it.  You can do it. And you will be stronger for having gone through the trouble to practice.