twist tie

pairing: ginny weasley x scabior

setting: modern, non-magical, chaos theory au

word count:

link: ao3

“Oh, my god, get up, get up, get up!” Ginny’s hissing, hitting him in the face with last night’s boxer briefs and a suspiciously stained black t-shirt. She’s already pulled on her own underwear, white cotton boy shorts covered in miniature pink strawberries, and is now struggling to untwist the straps of a dark purple bra. “Scabior!”

Scabior scrubs the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Why,” he whines, lifting his hips to tug his boxers up and over his morning wood. He flops backwards when he’s done. “It’s so early.”

“It’s nine-thirty,” Ginny snaps, kind of judgmentally, even though Scabior knows for a fact that she’s a perpetual fucking trainwreck before noon. “And George called, my mom’s literally—”

There’s the telltale squeak of the front door unlocking, followed by the faint rustle of a plastic grocery bag being put down, and then a Southern-accented female voice is chirping, “Ginny! Ginny?”  

Ginny goes almost comically still, eyes wide and mouth open and expression frozen in a weirdly endearing amalgam of dread, annoyance, and resignation—but then she’s scrambling for a pair of yoga pants and a wrinkled white undershirt that he’s pretty sure is his, quickly tying her hair up in a lumpy, slightly lopsided ponytail, and there are footsteps echoing from the hallway, brisk and efficient, and barely ten seconds have gone by, probably, but—

The bedroom door swings open.

A short, middle-aged woman with very familiar red hair and a Maryland sweatshirt appears.

She screams.

continue reading on ao3

Slytherin Boys’ Dormitory

Barty: Guys…

Antonin, Yaxley and Scabior: *Ignores Barty*

Barty: *Claps hands loudly*


Antonin: I don’t care that you saw a fairy today, Crouch.

Barty: I never saw a fairy, but-

Scabior: I swear Barty, if you make me lose this game of exploding snap…

Barty: … But you’re playing alone… so you’re going to lose either way…

Yaxley: You’re playing exploding snap alone?!

Scabior: Shut up, I was bored.

Antonin: You’re an idiot.


Antonin: What do you want?


Yaxley: Oh god.

Scabior: Why did we have to know that?

Antonin: I’m going to be sick.

Barty: AND IT’S GOING TO BE IN OUR BEDS!  You know, the two beds we shoved together…. right next to where you’re sitting, Scabior…

Scabior: You’re not having sex next to me!

Barty: That’s why I’m telling you guys.  Clear out, unless you want to see and hear things you’d rather not see and hear.

Antonin: *Stands up abruptly* Well, consider me warned.  You have two hours.

Scabior: Two hours?! I was almost ready for bed!

Yaxley: Yeah.  Who has sex for two hours?

Antonin: Fine, they get an hour.  


Yaxley: Right, I’m leaving now.

Scabior: Yeah, he’s getting really soppy.  Look at his face.

Barty: *Grins at them*

Antonin: Let’s go.

anonymous asked:

Antonin: Dare – kiss the most attractive of your dorm mates Truth – rank your dorm mates by attractiveness.

The spinner landed on:

(( Edit: OOC: Sorry, I just realised I went for the truth even though it said dare.  I’ll make him do the truth afterwards!))

Antonin: I’m not even gay. *Sighs*

Antonin: Yaxley is by far the most attractive because he looks like a girl.

Antonin: Then it’s Regulus.  He’s a Black, it’s in his genes or whatever.

Antonin: Scabior and Barty are some sort of tie *grimaces*

Scabior: That’s so rude!

Barty: At least I’m not last.

Scabior: You are last.  With me.


Jaw Breaker

Pairing: Scabior x Hermione Granger

AU: Modern, non-magical, tattoo artist!Sabior, drunk!Hermione

Word Count: 1086

Written For: muclbloods + minet-noir

It’s a slow night.

Scabior’s had one walk-in—a giggly eighteen year-old girl who’d wanted a cartoon Jessica Rabbit and some Taylor Swift lyrics tattooed on the middle of her lower back, to match her boyfriend’s, she’d said, which, what—and one appointment with Dolohov, who had a shit-load of terrifying disposable-pen prison ink to cover up.

And since Dolohov had left a little after nine to go get drunk with his shady stoner parole officer at a fancy interdepartmental softball game—and again, like, what—Scabior had been all by his lonesome for almost three goddamn hours.

And he’s fucking bored, right?

He’s bored, and he’s antsy, and he’s super tempted to just close early and go get hammered with the cooler half of the glorified Justice League—

Until he isn’t.

Keep reading

timeywimeyravenclaw  asked:

what's going on for you scabior in the middle of this great mess?

Scabior: Well, there are all these “clubs” being created and I’m thinking about creating one too…

Scabior: We could have a st-


Scabior: … I was going to say a study club.

Barty: Why would you want to study?

Scabior: ….Because I want to actually pass my exams.  

Barty: Wait, we have exams?

Scabior: *Sighs* Yes, Barty.