Some days you’re going to feel so unbeautiful. Some days the one you need most is not going to want to touch you, hold you, see you, be around you when you ache, when you need them to choose you without having to ask them to. Sometimes your being a force of nature will go against you. Sometimes putting others before you is going to go against you. And you will hurt darling, how you will hurt. On those days remember how high you have climbed just to feel the sun on your face. How brave you are. Remember sitting on the ledge of that building looking at how far down the ground was and having the confidence in yourself not to fall. Remember staring into the eyes of those who have hurt you and taking away their power by never allowing them to hurt you anymore. Remember clawing your way out of every abyss that you fell into. Now channel that girl, that lioness again. You can conquer anything.
Stop apologizing for being emotionally unavailable. Stop saying you’re sorry because you’re incapable of loving anyone but yourself right now. Stop making yourself feel like the bad guy for following your gut instincts. Stop allowing others to blame you for putting your own heart first. Stop letting them make you feel bad for not being interested in things that do not help you grow. Stop looking for someone else to complete you when you are already whole on your own.
And then you can start.
Start embracing it all. Start living boldly and unapologetically. Start listening to your heart and only your heart. Start saying no more often. Start pleasing yourself instead of being hung up on what others think. Start treating yourself with the same dignity and respect you give everyone else. Start loving yourself. Start refusing to settle for anything less than the best. Start thriving in your singleness. Start shaping your life into exactly what you always hoped it would be. Start creating your own happiness.
You don’t have to apologize for it. // excerpt from an unfinished book #148
Bad bitches have dark spots and scars. Bad bitches have thin and thick hair. Bad bitches have afros and waterfall braids. Bad bitches have armpit hair and choose when they want to shave. Bad bitches wear makeup whenever they want to and don’t conform to anybody. Bad bitches are located everywhere; from the fruit stand to the club to church.
Bad bitches have feelings too. Bad bitches cry themselves to sleep. Bad bitches stay up till 4am with a drink. Bad bitches have days they get insecure. Bad bitches have days where all they do is stay inside.