power-rangers

apparently theres a new live action power rangers movie coming out in 2017??? i literally just googled it after seeing the poster on my dash and its actually real

and the cast is so beautiful????

Naomi Scott (british indian girl), RJ Cyler (african american guy), Dacre Montgomery (token white dude), Ludi Lin (chinese canadian guy) and Becky G (mexican american girl) like omg????

bye im stanning the power rangers 

Like, seriously, I think there’s been a Steampunk Power Rangers at some point, so if you said “in this Power Rangers movie, they’re all women and the Zords are all Australian animals and the villain is an evil moon that breaks off pieces of itself to turn into monsters,” that would totally make sense. I wouldn’t even question it. Because even the original Power Rangers was weird as shit. It was like this goofy-ass Japanese ethos slamming into 90s American pop culture, which was weird to begin with.

Who’s our villain? An evil witch who was imprisoned in a dumpster on the moon for a thousand years.

She tries to kill the Power Rangers with monsters. Where do the monsters come from? Well, this old-ass monster in an apron and glasses makes them out of clay.

Was he made out of clay once? Who knows! And then he puts these little clay figurines into a machine and that turns them in monsters. Also, these guys are just hanging out like Kramer on Seinfeld.

Just talking shit. An H.R. Giger creation with a monocle and an anthropomorphic character from a hemorrhoid cream commercial. Do they contribute anything to the plot? No, they’re just like Rita Repulsa’s hype men.

I’m not saying it was a good show, but let’s admit, that’s pretty fucking creative for something that’s trying to sell sneakers and soft drinks. And now they’re making a movie and it’s just gonna be like “oh, Rita Repulsa? She was the Green Ranger, but she went rogue, and now she’s evil. Your power comes from the exact same place, so we don’t have to explain as much to the audience. And she’s probably trying to get her hands on an evil Megazord so you have something to fight with your Megazord in the climax. There, a plot that’s perfectly servicable and doesn’t have frog monsters that swallow people and turn them onto tattoos on its belly, or pig monsters that want to eat all of Angel Grove’s food, or evil lamp monsters…” 

Seriously, Power Rangers got more creative than Stephen King when it came to monsters. If Kimberly said “I hate this pen!” and threw it out, you can bet your ass some motherfucker would turn that pen into a giant monster and they’d all have to fight it.

New Power Rangers movie looks like shit.

1. No-name cast. When your biggest name is Bryan Cranston and he’s doing a voiceover, that’s a prob. You’d think they could at least get some good martial artists–hire Scott Adkins, put some make-up on him, boom, there’s your Goldar. If XXX: The Return of Xander Cage can get Donnie Yen, then this movie has no excuse.

2. Everything looks shitty. I swear, they’ve spent ten times as much as the original show did on costumes and they’ve gotten something that looks a tenth as good. How hard can it be to make a decent bodysuit with a Ranger-y pattern on it, then give them a cool-looking helmet?

3. So they’re clearly trying to do a nostalgia thing with the original five Power Rangers, Zordon, Rita Repulsa, yet also Rita Repulsa looks like this?

I mean, if you want me to go “oh hey, it’s Rita Repulsa, from the show!” Shouldn’t she look anything like Rita Repulsa? To say nothing of how weird it is to do this ‘dark, gritty’ take on Power Rangers and have the villain named Rita Repulsa?

And this in a show where every few years, they reboot the cast, introduce new villains, change the setting, et al. So it would actually be perfectly in keeping with the series to just create everything from scratch. The only real guidelines you need to follow are–

*A diverse group of teenagers (five to six) transform into Power Rangers using special device. 

*As Rangers, they wear primary-colored sentai suits (which serve as their codenames, i.e. Blue Ranger, Black Ranger, Yellow Ranger), and are more powerful and resistant to damage. 

*They fight against a villain or villains who command both swarms of mooks–weak individually, but dangerous in large numbers–and individual monsters. 

*The monsters can grow to great sizes, where they must be fought by Zords–beast-themed robots piloted by the Rangers who can also bring them all together to combine into a humanoid Megazord. 

*The leader is the Red Ranger.

Beyond that? Go nuts. I just don’t like any story that first tries to appeal to my nostalgia, but then doesn’t even try to bother being a good exercise in nostalgia. It feels like having keys jangled in my face. “Oh hey look it’s Batman! Batman!” “Since when does Batman kill people? Why is Batman a hateful bigot? Why is Batman branding people?” “GIVE US YOUR MONEY, IT’S BATMAN!”