When I was a student, all that was told to me was how much my cultura didn’t matter. How important European art and standards are, and how totally dominant their aesthetic should be. All I wanted to do was tell my story. And I looked nothing like what is considered relevant or beautiful or important by society’s ideals. But I JUST.KEPT.GOING. Here are some of my pieces. I’m here to uplift and change who is in the spotlight. Powerful womyn of color. My indigenous sisters.
What made you think you were a man, and how did you realise you aren't? (Not an attack post, but everytime I see someone who says they've detransitioned I get really curious and hadn't seen one to ask 'til now)
There were dozens of factors really but, like, my experiences fit the narrative pretty well, you know? I was gender non-conforming and had been since childhood. I was extremely dysphoric to the point where I was probably having hours long panic attacks about being female around five times a week. Being seen as a girl and a lesbian felt wrong, like the person they were seeing wasn’t really me. I felt free, myself, seen when I was perceived as male.
Then two things happened that kind of made everything start to unravel. The first was that I kind of got old enough and was on T long enough that I was no longer passing as a boy but as an adult man and people started treating me like an adult man. I realized pretty quickly that that wasn’t a societal position I wanted to hold. I didn’t want all the power over womyn I was being given. It made me feel just as sick and wrong to be viewed as an oppressor as it had to have been viewed as the oppressed.
The second thing was that I got raped. Years old trauma bubbled back up to the surface. I was forced to confront the fact that maybe the way I felt about my body wasn’t totally intrinsic to me, maybe there were other reasons, maybe it had been built by experience.
That, meeting other detransitioned womyn and getting into feminism spurred a lot of thinking that got me to the answers of your first question. What made me think I was a man? And what I realized was that my gender non-conformity only made me think that because, on some level, I felt erroneously that femininity was a part of womynhood. I realized my dysphoria was coming from trauma, from hating the way my female body was sexualized and from a deep, pent up desire to avoid the misogyny I’d been subjected to because of my female body. (I experience almost no dysphoria now.) I realized I didn’t feel like people were seeing the real me when I was seen as a girl and a lesbian because they weren’t. They were projecting all sorts of shit ideas onto me because of those things that of course I wanted to escape. And I realized I felt free when I was perceived as male because passing as male did award me all sorts of material freedoms.
Sorry this is so long. I’m v. chatty about this. I also have a tagged/detransition if you’re not sick of reading about this at this point.
This is me. I represent the struggle. I represent power. I represent love. I represent respect. I represent us.
#womyn #power #respect #melanin #blackout #aliifuerza #erykah #Malcolm #sade #notoriousbig
Flash back friday. Earrings by aliifuerza she represents us Queens. Peace and love. Black Friday ✌✊
A foundation of heteropatriarchy is the male right of access to womyn. Historically, men have sometimes accepted that some womyn are off limits because they belong to other men, but only rarely have womyn claimed the right to exclude all men. While males have reserved to themselves the right to gather in male only spaces they have used rape, physical assault, pornography and economic dependency in a pattern of insistence on access to womyn. As Marilyn Frye wrote in The Politics of Reality, “It is always the privilege of the master to enter the slave’s hut. The slave who decides to exclude the master from her hut is declaring herself not a slave.” When womyn say to men, “no, not now, this time, this space is not about you,” we assert the primacy of our own lives. The ability of a class of people who have been the target of oppression to gather together without the presence of those who have benefited from their exploitation is both an important organizing strategy and an expression of material power. Particularly in the case of womyn who have been raised in and taught loyalty to competing male supremacist cultures, womyn-only space allows us to explore the commonality and difference of our experiences. This form of separation is very different from that which is practiced and enforced by those who are privileged by power hierarchies. Male-only and white-only spaces reinforce assumptions of superiority and normality among their participants which adversely affect the excluded. I think exclusion of the targets of oppression by the privileged is always suspect while the reverse is an important method of redressing power imbalance.
Womyn only space is time and place where the welfare of the class of womyn and its core constituents, females who were raised as girls and perceive themselves as womyn, are the primary concern. In this space the desires of others are secondary. If even one womon’s perception of safety from male violence is diminished by the presence of individuals who are or were or claim to be members of the class of men, those individuals should be excluded. If any womyn find it easier to try new things or to explore their lives without the presence of non-womyn, that should be allowed.
Excerpts from “Exploring the Value of Women-Only Space,” by Kyra Ogyn, via the Feminist Reprise archives. RIP Michfest.