I Am Not Peggy

Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Peggy Carter (mentioned)

Warnings: Nothing much, swearing, violence, angst

Summary: You are Captain America’s girlfriend and you find that you will always be compared to a certain piece of Steve’s past.
Word Count:
A/N: This was really bad and Steve’s a bit of a dick tbh but I can see where they’re both coming from… this is dedicated to my favourite, the steve to my bucky @sickplanets <3 I am open to do a part two!!!

Originally posted by from-wizards-to-soldiers

Originally posted by ibidyouallaveryfondfarewell

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marauders + thanksgiving
  • Sirius: Did you like the turkey I made?
  • Peter, with food spilling out of his pocket: Yes, it was lovely!
  • Remus, pushing his turkey around on his plate: Er-
  • James, has taken one bite: No, not really
  • Sirius, taking the food from James' plate: I poured my heart and soul into that!
  • Lily, continuing to eat: Probably why it tastes so cold and dead.

anonymous asked:


it was,,,,,, so fucking good. i just need to rant for a bit about so many aspects of this video because like not only was it genuinely so funny and original and creative, it was just SO WELL MADE. there were so many small details about it that i couldn’t even believe.  they put so much actual effort into it and they’re also both so naturally funny when it comes to this kind of humor. ahhhh there were so many good things to talk about that i hardly know where to begin or like how to even organize my thoughts so just like,,, be ready bc this is about to be the most incoherent ramble 

first of all. dnp work so well together. i mean. we know this, we see it all the time. but there’s a lot of humor in the crafts videos that is just completely improvised within the larger pre-planned structure/concept. and they bounce off each other SO well in this setting (maybe even better than they do in many of their normal collabs, at least from a comedic standpoint.) i think a lot of this has to do w the fact that the satirical cheeriness of the “characters” that they play, that is over-emphasized to the point of being creepy, just lends itself really well to so many amazing one-liners. but also they just have such good chemistry that is so readily apparent in this context,,, it makes me emotional. they consistently set each other up for jokes, if one person improvises a certain action or behavior the other goes along with it or reacts to it immediately and that’s a mark of rly well-practiced entertainers but also two people who know each other really well and i love watching it play out.

i also do have to acknowledge that they are both fundamentally quite talented. all three of the craft videos are examples of really genuinely witty humor and they showcase that side of dnp so well. both of them also have such a good sense of comedic timing and even an intuition for physical comedy and they’re also rly creative with how they edit these videos and the union of all of those elements is what makes these videos so good in my opinion. while i believe dan’s explanation that the first crafts video was filmed quite spontaneously without much of a plan (and that’s why it’s super short and not as funny as the latter two imo), i do think they put a lot of thought and effort into this one which is quite clear through many of the details they worked into the video both during the filming itself and then afterwards in the editing. first of all the overall concept of them being taken by satan as a culmination of the extremely subtle creepy undertones from the first one is just so smart bc no one would expect them to take it that far and the total hyperbolic unlikeliness of it is what makes it so damn funny. i think most ppl were expecting when dan said he’s keeping his stamp a secret that it would just be some sort of satanic symbol like what happened in the glitter faces vid but like,,, no one thought it’d escalate to where it did. it was so unexpected and over the top but somehow still not overdone or so forced as to dilute the comedy. it synthesized humor with genuinely unsettling creepiness and that is such a difficult balance to achieve. 

you can tell they put a lot of thought into it on so many levels. for instance they worked in all these rly subtle allusions to satan himself before the weird ritual scene happens, like dan saying “this one’s long with a big head like him” (ty for describing satans cock to us dan jfc) and phil saying “i’ve selected as many knives as friends i have, which is two.” then even during the ritual scene they work in things like the cow noise since a common satanic symbol is a horned deity (baphomet lol). and in their new channel description they use the case file name 19-1-20-1-14 which decodes to the word “satan” if you use a basic letter-number cipher (in which each number stands for the letter that is that position in the alphabet. ’s’ is the 19th letter, ‘a’ is the first, and so on.) and there are so many other little editing quirks that give this video that unsettling undertone, as well as editing quirks that add to the comedy of it and it’s all just so well done. for example the voice editing on certain words like “sharp” and “go away.” the audio overlays of heavy breathing at various points and random cuts to black screens. the use of creepy music at strategic places throughout. at 4:36 they recorded themselves saying protip backwards just to reverse it and they even spell out the “protip” text backwards, seemingly both as a way to shit on the whole ‘protip’ trope from the last vid and also to make fun of the way that satanists/conspiracy theorists think there are hidden messages in popular songs and shit that u can only hear if u play the audio backwards. ugh i hate them and their many layers of references. phil also references this again during the ritual part, when dan lights the match (he just goes “portip” “portip” as though he’s trying to say it backwards lol.) and then they fuck around w the word protip throughout the video almost like they’re making fun of it. there’s also definitely a subtle pitch manipulation of their voices as the video progresses. by the end they sound like they’ve sucked on a little bit of helium but it happens gradually enough that you’re just a little bit put off and you can’t really place why. then there’s the little comedic touches like the siren sound when “carefully” flashes across the screen. the fact that the legal disclaimer for adult supervision is cut off at the sides. the zoom in on the fleck of green paint that lands on dan when phil’s pouring it into the plate. ugh like damn i just want to make the point that they clearly put work into this and on face value it seems like a shoddy home video w a weird satanic ending but there’s a reason this works so well and feels so creepy and simultaneously laugh out loud funny and it’s bc they’re genuinely talented and we don’t always get to see that creative talent at work in their standard formulas for videos on their regular channels so i’m just so grateful that they made something like this where it seems like they allow themselves to exercise more of that creative energy. it begs a lot of questions about why they don’t do shit like this more,,,  and i think there are a number of reasons they feel safe and happy making what they generally make now but i’m jst so happy that at least in these videos they’ve branched out and done something so creative and good.

on that note. i just need to ramble about phil. i don’t think anyone can dispute that phil really carries these videos and partly that’s because he’s been in the role of the “teacher” in all three videos so he inevitably comes across as more dominant and sets the tone for the humor, but also like,,, he just works so well in this style and comes up with such spontaneous and WITTY little remarks that inevitably become the standout lines from each vid (in this one, for example, “potato is in my top ten favorite fruit,” “sometimes it’s nice to look up at the stars and remember that they’re all already dead,” “if you make a mistake while cutting just think about it for the rest of the day,” etc. and one of my fav from the past, “if you’re left handed ask a friend” (d: why am i left handed) “everybody makes mistakes!”) he also seems to improvise a lot of the physical comedy in the videos (in this one, the way he just stared at the paint as he squeezed it out for way too long, the way he threw around the cutting boards and plates, the way he did the chopping; and in past ones, slamming his hands on the paper and on dan’s hands when mixing the glitters, clacking the scissors super loudly in the first one, etc.) i just love these videos so much bc they’re some of the only ones that we have these days where phil is really doing most of the comedic legwork and dan definitely helps and bounces off of him but mostly lets phil take charge and i live for it. and while there’s obvi no way to tell who rly did the editing for the video (and i’m sure it was a mix of both of them) there’s no denying that the editing style and general creepiness (especially of the ritual sacrifice scene lol) bear a lot of similarities to the feeling/vibe/editing quirks in a lot of phil’s old school videos (i’m thinking like tape 6 and the basket which, if any of you reading these have not watched, please just open a tab right now and do that before you finish reading this lol.) the choppy way the different clips are spliced together in the whole ritual scene (where one second dan is stamping phil, then lighting a match and chanting, then phil’s chanting, then he’s slumped over and then there are two videos overlaid on top of each other when dan is actually stamping phil’s back and then the sudden cut to black) it’s all so reminiscent of those older videos and it does make me feel like phil had a larger creative hand in thinking about how this video should be put together and that just makes me so happy to think about. i’ve always wondered what phil does w his self-professed obsession with horror and his interest in violence and psychological thrillers and whatnot, as well as his former academic/critical study of filmmaking. it makes sense that he doesn’t feel comfortable exploring those interests by making things himself in this genre in a real way and especially not on youtube because his self-described objective through this platform is to provide his audience with light and uplifting entertainment. more pragmatically, he’s trying to make a living from this job and hold somewhat broad-based appeal through the videos he makes and it makes sense that lighter content that doesn’t require too much intellectual rigor would fare better and hold more consistent audience engagement. and more personally, making things on the level of tape 6, even years later w more familiarity with editing and whatnot and perhaps more skill in writing scripts/characters/plots, still would involve a certain degree of personal emotional vulnerability that the current amazingphil format doesn’t demand. in short, venturing into these territories creatively would be a risk on a lot of levels. it would invite more formal critique of his work. it would invite more people trying to read into who he is and his psyche (which are things that i feel like he’s actually terrified of and that’s part of why he’s built such a protective barrier against it). it would be a risk and it makes sense that he doesn’t want to take it, at least not right now. but it’s just lovely to see that he still has the capacity to make things in the vein of those older videos and to make them WITH DAN and mix them with comedy which i need to reiterate is such a hARD THING TO DO!!!! and  idk it just rly makes me so happy to watch and to think about. 

i love phil so much, and none of this is meant to dilute dan’s role since i’m sure he did inform some of the decisions here, but i just think that dan as phil’s biggest fan (since 2007 y’all) would feel many of these same things about phil’s older content and support phil’s desire to engage that darker creative energy/talent he has hiding under all of those layers of syrupy happiness and amiability. i love that this is sort of an update to that vintage dark!phil content bc it’s the same dark undertones, same editing quirks, etc. but now it’s mixed with rly cheeky humor and maybe that’s dan’s influence or maybe it’s still phil, but a phil that has shared his life w someone w this particular irreverent and sarcastic sense of humor for so many years and this video shows the confluence of those two things in such a lovely and original way and just,,,, ugh. this video was so much and i loved it SO much. truly so, so good i was not prepared to feel so many deep-seated Emotions over some god damn satanic propaganda i need help. 

(danandphilcrafts - potato prints)

Happy Birthday! Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Requester: littlepony-66

Prompt: Hi! I just read your Bill’s imagine and I love it. I was wondering if you could do one where he have this long-time girlfriend and she surprise him in set of IT for his birthday and he’s there dressing as Pennywise and it’s a lot of fluff 🙈

Warning: None 

Originally posted by iamfire355

Originally posted by karlmordo

Originally posted by asdarknessfell

You were beyond excited when you checked the calendar that morning. Today was the day you could put your plan in set. You had been dating Bill for over 7 years now and never once do you question your relationship.

Well you did have the occasional argument of course but that doesn’t matter right now! You had already talked to the director of the movie your boyfriend Bill Skarsgård was staring in two weeks ago so your plan was ready.

You had been doing this for 7 years now where on his birthday you’d go over the top to celebrate his party. You had gotten up early to make him a simple pancake breakfast with itty bitty cutie pie pancakes.

You smiled when you saw him come into the room shirtless with only sweatpants that just barely held on around his hips. He came around you to make coffee and you  flipped the new batch of pancakes over to reveal a golden brown side.

You squeaked when you felt arms wrap around your waist and him place his chin on your shoulder. You giggled as he gently swayed you back and forth occasionally leaving light kisses on your neck and shoulder.

“Should I have stayed in bed longer?” He asked softly.

“What for?” You asked pretending not to know.

“You know why.” He said tucking your hair behind your ear.

You giggled and he wrapped his arms around your tighter. You placed the last of the pancakes on the plate and shook him off to bring the pancakes to the table where two plates with hash browns and bacon were waiting.

He sat down in his chair and grabbed a few pancakes before pouring some maple syrup over them. Of course when you took the maple syrup you get pouring…and pouring…and pouring…and pouring…the pancakes were floating in syrup…half of the bottle was gone…still pouring…and now your plate was a pond of sticky syrup.

Bill rolled his eyes but smiled at your antics and began to eat his little pancakes. After you were done you slurped the maple syrup from your plate and then took it the sink.

“I’m surprised you haven’t given me a box that will blow confetti in my face.” He teased.

“Whatcha mean?” You asked continuing to play dumb.

“C'mon you know it’s my birthday.” Bill said walking over to put his dish in the sink.

He leaned towards you nearly nose to nose and smiled looking from your lying eyes to your teasing lips. Just as he was about to kiss you his phone alarm went off from the bedroom that alerted him it was time to get dressed since he had to leave in 15 minutes. Bill sighed and walked off leaving your lips feeling cold.

You pouted wishing you could throw something at that stupid alarm to shut it up so he could’ve kissed you. You quickly cleaned the dishes before putting them back where they belonged.

When you finished putting the tray away Bill was walking out wearing a white shirt with black jeans. You purred and he grinned as he walked over. He kissed you for a few seconds before pulling away with a loud smack, “I love you. I’ll see you tonight!”

“Love you too! See ya!” You called.

You waited until the door closed and he was walking down the hallway before planning your attack. You took a quick shower, got dressed, and grabbed your keys and jacket before hurrying to leave.

You were careful when you got in to not run into Bill. You found the director Andy Muschetti and quickly ran up to him well it appeared he wasn’t busy.

“Andy do you have everything?” You asked.

The director looked up a little surprised by your sudden appearance but grinned at the enthusiasm sparkling in your eyes.

“Yeah just get Kelly to show you.” He pointed to said woman and as soon as she saw you she nodded and the plan began….

Bill finished doing a scene when the director called for a 5 minute break. He strolled out still in his “Pennywise mode” occasionally laughing in his clown voice.

“Hey Bill.” Andy called walking over.

“Yes Andy?” Bill asked.

“You might want to go to the makeup trailer. Your lipstick smudged.”

“Alright.” Pennywise replied.

He headed towards the “make up trailer” which was also his trailer since he required the most amount of makeup to cover his handsome features. When he arrived he opened the door only to jump back startled as least 50 red balloons suddenly poured out.

Bill blinked confused looking around but no one was here. He pushed through the balloons popping a few in the process until pretty much all of them were out. He looked at himself in the mirror but his lipstick and everything else looked perfect.

Curious, he walked back towards the set not finding anyone. It was like the cast and crew just walked away leaving all their equipment behind. Nervousness grew in Bill who slowly lost his character personality as he walked through the empty set.

When he arrived to where he was filming originally it was pitch black.

‘Hello?“ Bill called.

The lights came on and he jumped back even more startled as the whole crew revealed themselves shouting, "SURPRISE!”

Bill spotted you in the crowd and grinned walking towards you. Before you could say anything he smashed his lips into yours making you smile and kiss back. You wrapped your arms around his neck ignoring the audience awing at you.

A few of the kids cringed in disgust though.

When you pulled away his buck teeth were a little crooked and his lipstick was smudged and had rubbed off on your lips but you didn’t care.

“Happy birthday.” You said before kissing his cheek.

Bill smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheeks.

“Oh I also got a present for you!” You announced.

Andy came up holding a colorfully wrapped box and handed it to you. You took it and held it for Bill excitedly.

He smiled and took it before undoing the ribbon and opening the box…only for it to blow up in his face.


Colorful confetti blew up in his face and fell on him. He even spit some from out of his mouth. You laughed along with the others and he just rolled his eyes.

“Sorry babe. Gotta keep the birthday pranking tradition.” You grinned.

“Just wait until it’s my turn to prank you.”

That night you were snuggling with Bill in bed enjoying each others warmth well watching cartoons. Yes, yes, you were two grown adults over the age of 20 watching cartoons. But not like the new ones it was the good old 90-early 2000 cartoons everyone loved.

Bill’s head was resting against your chest (really boob ;) ) just listening to the sound of your heart beating well you stroked his hair in sort of an auto pilot mode. He purred loving his birthday.

When you got home your true gift was that you had gotten him a few new shirts and a nice leather jacket you had seen him eyeing since forever. You had even made him a birthday cake from scratch with rainbow sprinkles baked in and iced and shaped to look like his Pennywise character.

Turns out his character in cake form tasted pretty good. Then after that you both just decided to cuddle and spend some quality time together. He couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend.

“So did you like my cake?”

“It was okay.”

“Just because your the birthday boy doesn’t mean I can’t slap you or kick you out to sleep on the couch tonight.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“Ow! Okay, okay! I loved your cake!”

“Aw thanx. Happy birthday… ~ ❤️”

Epilogue: Yaya 3 requests done in one day! Whew. So because I’m in high school I will be doing one request per day on the week days and then how many I can do on the weekend. So please be patient. Thanx for reading!! XD!!!!

“‘I am Sandrilene fa Toren, daughter of Count Mattin fer Toren and his countess, Amiliane fa Landreg. I am the great-niece of his grace, Duke Vedris of this realm of Emelan, and cousin of her Imperial Highness, Empress Berenene of the Namorn Empire. You are Esmelle ei Pragin, daughter of Baron Witten en Pragin and his lady Colledia of House Wheelwright—a merchant house. If I tell you my friend is a lady, then you'—carefully she poured milk into Esmelle’s plate—'you had best start lapping, kitty’” is still probably the most savage thing I’ve ever read, short perhaps of “War, then.”


Single strains of hair kept falling in your face as you desperately tried to make sense of the recipe in front of you. You were currently making dinner for your boyfriend, Kai. He had just recently gotten out of hell and now had the pleasure of tasting things. 

As you sprinkled some paprika onto the steak that was currently sizzling on the stove. As the steak settled and the kitchen began to smell of herbs and heat, you opened the oven. You pulled the potatoes out with caution, careful not to burn yourself. 

You dabbed some sour cream on Kai’s baked potato and threw on some freshly grounded pepper as well as some parmesan cheese. Oh he was gonna love this. 

The timer went off, signaling that your almond smothered green beans were done sitting. After plating the greens and the potato, you added more garlic powder and salt to the steak. You arranged each food perfectly on the plate, and poured some of your mother’s wine into a small, stemless wine glass. 

The door bell rang just as you set everything on the table. Kai waited on the other side, grin in place. “Princess.” Kai purred. 

You hugged him and pulled him in for a heated kiss. “Dinner’s ready.” You smiled softly and tugged him into the dining room. 

Kai’s mouth watered, his stomach growling in anticipation. “Babe, you… you did all this? Holy shit.” Kai sat down immediately. The heretic wasted no time digging in. The olive oil from the green beans oiled up Kai’s chin as he chewed sloppily. He moaned huskily as he continued to chew the food. 

Mouth still full, Kai picked up the steak with his bare hands and bite into it. He struggled to tear apart the sopping meat. “This is so good.” He managed to spill out between full lips. 

It seemed as if Kai just now noticed the red wine sitting in front of him and he grinned at you, taking the alcohol and chugging it all down to wash down the food. A mixture of sour cream and pepper fell on Kai’s shirt as he once again used his hands to pick up the loaded baked potato.

You sat in shock Kai continued to scarf down the meal, even leaning over to grab a roll with his messy fingers. Within minutes he was done, and you stared at him, cheeks flushed in astonishment as Kai licked and slurped his fingers clean. 

Kai seemed to blush as he cleared his throat, tongue still dancing with flavor. “Dessert?” He blushed. 

thank u @geminioriginalsimagines for this cute ass idea, i wish i could write 10x better so y’all could get the feels and shit. oh whale 



  • Create an Anti-Binge Box or Bag.
  • Eat 3 meals a day or 5 smaller meals.
  • Don’t eat more than 2000 calories a day (400 to 650 a meal, depending).
  • Weigh yourself no more than once a day.
  • Exercise at least an hour a day.
  • Drink 2 liters of water a day.
  • Get as much sleep as you possibly can.
  • If you want sweets, you can have ONE DESERT A DAY.
  • Eat at least 2 cups of fruit and 2 cups of vegetables a day.
  • Drink ACV as much as possible.


  • Pictures of thinspo/fatspo
  • Sugar free gum and/or diet pills
  • Notebook
  • Measuring tape
  • Sugar free drink powders
  • Distractions (aka movies, CDs, books, etc)
  • Makeup
  • Nail Polish


  • 4 cups of water
  • 2-3 tbsp of ACV
  • 1 tbsp of honey
  • Mix together and drink throughout the day!


  • Create If/Then to counteract behaviors (ex: If I get stressed, I eat - so I’ll do yoga to lower stress).
  • Eat filling foods (ex: whole grains, prunes, veggies, oatmeal, soup, lean, protein, beans, legumes, potato skins, fresh fruit, and healthy fats like nuts).
  • Keep yourself busy; then you can’t binge!
  • Make binging inconvenient by not having binge foods around you.
  • Focus on food while eating; don’t eat while you’re watching TV or doing something else!
  • Spend time with friends and family.
  • Don’t eat directly from a carton or bag; pour some on a plate or in a bowl.
  • Eat on small, dark colored plates.
  • Differentiate between hunger and cravings.
  • If you’re hungry, drink.
  • Don’t eat when you’re stressed.
  • Don’t skip meals you planned.
  • Don’t eat after a certain time.
  • Eat spicy if you can.
  • Write down everything you eat.
  • Don’t have cheat days.
  • Learn to enjoy food.
What Once Was Lost


Captain Swan, Captain Cobra

Summary: Short one shot. Henry and Lucy look for Killian, the one person that will always find Emma Swan. (headcanon for season 7) 

Also on AO3

Thanks to @spartanguard for taking a quick look through. You are the best!


Killian Jones sat on the park bench near the bay of his small town, Fairy Trails, for lunch, just like he did every day since he could remember. He had picked up his lunch from the small diner in town, Ruby’s, and then made the short walk here. He looked out over the water, and let out a breath. He wasn’t entirely sure why the water always seemed to calm him, but it did.

He opened the styrofoam takeout container, and smiled wistfully at the contents, a grilled cheese and onion rings. It wasn’t his favorite meal; he actually preferred the lasagna. But it had been her favorite meal. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There was no reason to get misty eyed right now. It had been…well, a long time since he had lost her, his wife, in the horrible accident. He couldn’t even remember most of it. One moment they were together, and the next it was almost like an explosion and he woke up being told that she and his left hand were gone.

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The family often came together for the first time each day at four, when they all gathered for tea in Alexandra’s famous Mauve Boudoir. This, too, was ruled by tradition: the regulations, set down in the reign of Catherine the Great, dictated the number and type of rolls, plates of bread, and pastries placed on the table. Alexandra complained that “other people had much more interesting teas,” but that even as empress she was “unable to change a single detail of the routine of the Russian Court.” Alexandra poured, and handed around plates of tiny sandwiches and pastries; for the children there was cocoa and little vanilla-flavoured wafers called biblichen. Nicholas smoked and read aloud, the empress and her eldest daughters embroidered, and Anastasia played games with Alexei on the sage-green carpet.”

The Resurrection of the Romanovs by Greg King and Penny Wilson.

anonymous asked:

Do the Egos ever use the kitchen? It seems to be going unused.

Doc goes to fix himself an omelette in the kitchen one morning only to find Anti sitting at the table carving a little wooden figurine with one of his daggers. Dr. Iplier gasps a little, and Anti looks up. “Are ya makin’ coffee? Because if ya are, I’ll take some.”

Anti watches as Doc puts the coffee in and then switches to making the omelette. The glitch appears not far away to watch as the Doctor adds peppers and mushrooms and bits of ham. “Yer a lot better at that than Marvin was.”

Doc smirks. “How’s the magnificent magician doing?”

Anti shrugs. “I dunno. We didn’t talk much. I think he was scared of me.”

Dr. Iplier winces slightly. He knows the feeling. “Um, do you want one?”

“Can you show me how to make it myself?” Anti pokes his head closer so that he’s leaning over Doc’s shoulder on his tip-toes.

The Doctor slides to the side so that Anti can see him work. “See, you have to be patient with it, otherwise it won’t cook enough, but if you wait too long, it’ll burn.” Doc checks the omelette before flipping it carefully.

“Cool!” Anti glitches a little bit as Doc laughs.

“It takes a little practice, but you can try if you want to.” Doc sets his breakfast on a plate and pours some coffee before moving to the table where he can watch Anti. The glitch burns his first seven attempts, but Doc can’t talk him out of trying again and again until he finally gets a decent one full of green peppers and cheddar cheese. “Not bad.”

Anti grins. “Just wait til I show ya my pizza makin’ skills!”

Mama Y/N - Peter Parker x Reader

/gif not mine. sorry this is shitty i’m typing it up on my phone.

“Make sure you lock all the doors correctly” your mother repeated for like the fiftieth time that day. You just sighed and nodded. “Yes, mother, if someone tries to break in you’ll hear it all the way to London.” You reassured, helping your mother with her bags as she walked towards the door. Just as she walked out the door and sprinted to catch a cab, she yelled at you. “Oh, and Leah is bringing the twins later so you can babysit them!” “What?” You answered, knowing your plans with your boyfriend for later were already ruined. Frustrated, you waved goodbye to your mother and got back in the house.

Picking up your phone, you quickly dialed your boyfriends number. “Hello? This is Peter” Was heard on the other side of the line. “Yeah, I think our date just crashed…” you announced rather upset, to which he quickly responded, “What? Why?” “My mom’s friend is bringing her children for me to babysit later.” You explained. “I see…” he sounded disappointed yet thoughtful. “It’s alright, we can see each other tomorrow, babe.” He declared, before you both said your goobyes and I love yous and ended the call. Though his voice sounded suspicious at the very end, you brushed it off and prepared everything for the twins’ arrival.

Around half an hour later, Leah, your mother’s friend rang your doorbell. She was wearing a beautiful, fancy dress and you immediately knew why she wanted you to babysit. She told the twins to behave themselves, and the four-year-old boys looked at each other and smirked. You took the boys inside after their mom left and before you could make it past the living room, someone knocked at your door. Oh no. The only person that knocked instead of using the doorbell was no other than your boyfriend, Peter Parker. You told the boys to wait for you in the living room -which of course, they didn’t- while you went to the door.

“Hey beautiful.” your boyfriend greeted, offering you a single rose. “Hey stubborn.” You replied gesturing him to come inside, to which he shrugged and walked in. The twins were already playing with some expensive object they would probably break soon. “Why are you here?” You asked while you rushed towards them to take your mother’s favorite vase from their power. “Well, I couldn’t wait to see you so I thought I could come and help you out…” he explained himself, staring at you and the twins, the three of you looking back at him. “Well, this is James and this is Jake,” his eyes widened as he finally paid close attention to their faces, which were practically identical. “I really hope they like you.”

“How can you tell them apart?” He asked confused, trying to find something that could be his answer. But the fact that they were wearing the exact same clothes didn’t help a lot, either. “I’ve been babysitting them since they were born,” you explained, “I’ve learned each one of their differences.” He wished he could do that right now. Suddenly James hit Jake and they both started running around the coffee table that sat in the middle of the living room. “James!” You scolded, looking at one boy. “Jake!” Looking at the other boy. And poor Peter just stared at you, completely confused and admiring you.

“Let’s go to the playing room!” You announced and they both cheered and ran out. “Can you keep an eye on them and play a movie while I get snacks?” You half asked half begged, to which he agreed, but looked quite terrorized. You quickly took a pack of chocolate chip cookies out of the pantry and poured them on a plate, took two plastic cups out of the cabinet and poured milk on them. Gracefully, you took the snacks to the playing room where Peter and the twins laid on the couch already, watching the movie, cuddling against one another. It was quite a scene to watch. “Moana…” you said, calling the attention of the three boys, and as soon as the twins saw you, they started running around. “Cookies! Mama Y/N brought cookies!” They both cheered in unison. Peter looked at you with a funny look.

“They started shooting questions as soon as you left” he said, looking at the boys. “My name, age, job, one of them even asked for my intentions with you!” You laughed, placing the plate and cups on the little table in front of them. “And… Mama Y/N?” He asked after the boys sat and started eating the cookies. You just chuckled. “As I said, they’ve known me since forever. I’m like their second mother…” you stopped talking when he smiled and looked at the ground. “What?” You asked, kind of offended. “Nothing.” He answered, shaking his head in denial. “Actually, this.” He said, quickly pressing his lips to yours. You were about to kiss him back, but a pair of ‘eww’s were heard from behind you. You both blushed and laughed it off.

The four of you spent the afternoon playing around and watching Disney movies. Peter didn’t learn how to tell the twins apart, though, he just called their names randomly. Later, when Leah came to pick the boys up, Peter opened the door and invited Leah in while you finished helping them tie their laces. As soon as they saw their mom they started yelling “Mama Y/N has a boyfriend! Mama Y/N has a boyfriend!” Peter blushed and you laughed, “shhh… you’re too young.” They both laughed as they left, making kissing noises until they got to the car.

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark

Being Liked (Single Dad! Xiumin)

Originally posted by xiuminel

Type: Fluff

Request: Single dad minseok exo , you guys are dating and once you meet his kid he tells you he loves you??💕😍😍

Hungpyo smiled up at you as you two sat there reading a book. Hungpyo climbed into your lap as you started telling him the story. His son was a good judge of character and it touched him to see that he already trusted you. For Minseok it was the most amazing thing to witness. Two people he loved, who were meeting for the first time. Getting along with no problems.

“Hungpyo” Minseok calls as his toddler looks up from him “why don’t you go wash your hands and Y/N and I will set dinner on the table” he says as Hungpyo smiled and nodded. He quickly got off of your lap and rushed to the bathroom before you got up heading to Minseok. He wrapped his arms around your waist as he tugged you close. “You and him look perfect together” he hints as he smiles “yeah. You’re raising a really good kid” you compliment as he presses a kiss onto your lips. “What did you make for dinner?” you asked him as pulls you to the stove “spaghetti” he says as he reaches into the cabinet and grabs a child’s plate and two larger ones. 

“I love you” he says as he poured the spaghetti onto plates while you got drinks for everyone. You froze mid pour and turned to him. “What?” you asked “I love you” he repeats as you look at him in the eyes. “Really?” you asked as he nodded “I am madly in love with you” he said as you smiled “I love you too” you say as he chuckles moving over you. He gave you a solid kiss on the lips as Hungpyo comes in “daddy hungry” he says as he pulls on his father’s dress pants. He didn’t care he was ruining the moment “sorry bud” he said as he wiped his mouth and grabbed the plate “who do you want to sit beside?” he asked as him and Hungpyo rushed out to the table. 

“Daddy and Y/N sit together” he said as Minseok smiles “yeah. I get to sit next to the pretty lady?” he asked as you came out and sat drinks down. “Thank you for having me over” you say to the two of them as they smile at you “well I think the two most important people in my life finally meet” Minseok says as he leans over pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Other than that. Is it good buddy?” he asks his son as he saw he was already covered in sauce. “You’re cute” he said as he took a bite from his food as well.

Not A Bad Thing ~ Part Six

Originally posted by xehun

Fairy-tale & AU Series Index

Previous Part || Next Part

Word Count: 4.4K

Errors. Please excuse and ignore them.

-Okay this is my 3rd time re-posting this part. If it is STILL cut off half-way through, let me know! 


I stood there, with my voice caught in my throat. I didn’t miss the way Sehun’s face scrunched up in thought. His eyes darted from me to Eun Ji, who was still staring at me.

“I don’t think so.” I almost croaked, my smile falling slightly. I’m feigning ignorance, staring at Sehun with questioning eyes.

“No, no. I’ve seen you somewhere before.” Eun Ji pushed looking at Sehun, “How long have you two been together now?”

Sehun was a bit taken back by Eun Ji’s seriousness in her question.

“It’s been 2 months since we met.” I answered for Sehun, “I don’t think we’ve met. What was your name again?”

“Eun Ji.” She stated, glaring at me. This was expected, and I wasn’t surprised. It seems that Eun Ji is still stuck at Sehun’s hip. Her feels haven’t faded and she still wants to keep a tight grip on Sehun. It’s not clear if her personality has improved like Sehun’s has.

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The witch's garden

Starting a witch garden can be intimidating. Many friends tell me, I have a black thumb, I can’t even keep basil alive. Mistake one, basil doesn’t stay alive! There are some saints who can keep a basil plant going forever, but for most people its an annual that grows for a month or two, flowers, seeds, and dies to come up again next year if the conditions are right.

Begin, by managing your expectations. First, is it a plant that is known to be easy to grow from seed like mint, or difficult like lavender? Is it a variety that needs shade or sun, moist soil or dry soil, a heavy feeder (needs fertilized often) or likes waste spaces (don’t fertilize it).

Does it come up right away like, or take weeks? Does it need frost to come up? or will frost kill it? How many seeds can you expect to come up? Does it need thinned? Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t! Pick one or two easy to grow herbs and just learn what those ones like. Then after you have those two down, add a couple more next year.

If you are going to grow a garden from seed, begin the seeds several months before your area’s last frost. And don’t put the baby plants out too early, no matter how nice it is outside. I always think, oh its been sunny for two weeks, and I am just itchy to put my plants out. But wiser friends tell me to wait til Mother’s day. They are right, for my area, you just have to wait past Beltane to put the plants out. Find out from experienced gardeners in your area when its danger of frost is past.

But you can start your plants inside very early. Anytime after Yule is okay for me to start seeds. But I usually don’t get round to it till March. But the earlier the better and the healthier the plants I put out will be. But even now isn’t too late to start some seeds.

So along with picking out your Yule presents, check out your favorite seed catalog, and plan what you will buy. Go in with friends, because you rarely need all the seeds in a pack just for yourself and to save on shipping.

Get some peat moss or some planting soil and put them in whatever small containers you have around. Yogurt cups, toilet paper rolls, anything. You can poke a small hole in the bottom of the container and set it in a bigger container or on a plate and then keep them moist until the plants are standing well on their own. Don’t pour water over the top of very thin baby plants, pour water into the plate or container under your little pots so they can soak the water up.

If a bunch of little plants come up right next to each other, thin them out by carefully pulling some of them apart. You can replant them if you have more pots, or just put them in compost. Do this very carefully as to not damage the plants you are keeping.

When the stems are nice and strong and the plant looks happy and stable, you can carefully pull the dirt out of the pot, including the plant. And put it in a bigger pot or in the ground.

A few good starter from seed plants for new gardeners:

Mint, oregano, thyme, lemon balm, clary sage, mullien, valerian, and mugwort.

A few good ones to buy starts of:

Lavender and rosemary

Get Gardening!

- Probably being Bruce’s Spouse, or S/O

- Damian not allowing you to touch him at first.

-So he would crawl over to your room at three in the morning, and just is sleep by your bed on the floor.

- “We have twelve bedrooms, and you choose to sleep on the floor….”

-If you happened to wake up you would scoot over so he could sleep on the other side of the bed without touching you.

- “It’s okay, I won’t move.”

- When he finally warms up to you he won’t stop touching you.

-Him literally hanging onto you as you walk around the house.

- He almost looks like a baby koala, his arms are around your neck, and his legs wrap around your mid section while your arms support the bottom of his legs and his head is snuggled into the crook of your neck. 

-”Damian hang on a little tighter I don’t want to drop you.”

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Finding Gilbert // Qian Kun


the prompt: could I get an NCT Kun soulmate AU scenario where you have a timer that counts down to the moment you meet?

words: 1231

category: fluff + soulmate!au

author note: where is kun’s debut? why are him and hansol still in the basement? these are questions that need answers @ sm. anyway enjoy this lil scenario about you, kun, and a cat named gilbert.(also let me know if you guys want a pt. 2 bc i rlly like writing for kun)

- destinee

Originally posted by fairyprincewinwin

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(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader
word count
: 5 223
warning : smut
summary : It’s Reader’s birthday and after four years, she finally gets to spend it with Kai.
note : anon, hope you had a great birthday 😉🎂🎉🎈 and that you will like your belated b-day present !🎁
* gif by me

Y/N rolled to her side, reaching for her boyfriend, flashes of images from everything that had happened last night flooding in her mind. Her birthday celebrations had started long before the clock had even struck midnight, right after she and Kai had come home from the swimming hole. Ever since he came back from Hell a little over seven months ago, they had a hard time keeping their hands to themselves and it seemed the longer they spent together the more this ‘problem’ grew. Neither of them could get enough of the other and the mornings when they woke up in each others arms were one of the moments they shared she loved the most. Her hand kept searching for him on his side of the bed, but all she found was wrinkled sheets. A quiet groan of frustration left her lips and slowly she opened her eyes, just in time to see him walk in through the door with a food tray in his hands. His hair was a little messy, he was wearing a black t-shirt/boxers but what made her heart skip a beat was his smile and the glow in his eyes.
    “Hi.” she smiled, watching him leave the tray on the night stand. He leaned in, pressing his lips gently onto hers and she cupped his face, pulling him onto the bed with her. He tried to pull away but that only made her hold him tighter against her. Thunder rumbled outside and rain drops gently started to hit her window but she didn’t mind the rain on the darker morning light. She had her own sun right there in her arms.
    “Hi.” he smiled, brushing his nose against hers. “Someone woke up hungry.”
Y/N laughed and nodded, watching Kai roll off her sitting on his knees just as she pulled herself up into a seating position untangling herself from the sheets and ran her fingers through the mess her hair was.
    “You look so hot with your hair messed up like that.” he grinned at her expression and held out his palm right before her eyes. “Happy birthday, sweet cheeks.”
A blink of an eye later a chocolate cupcake showed up before her yes with a birthday candle that lit up with a snap of his fingers. Only it wasn’t just this – her room filled with multi coloured balloons and twinkling lights hung from the ceiling. There were scented candles lit up here and there and from somewhere quiet music started to play. How hadn’t she noticed any of this earlier? Perhaps because she had been distracted getting lost in everything they had done or maybe it was seeing Kai first thing in the morning. There could be a fire in the house and she wouldn’t notice, that’s how big effect he had on her.
    “Aren’t you going to make a wish ?” he asked, looking at her expectantly. Y/N didn’t answer, her gaze kept drifting from the cupcake to the decorations and back around. “What’s wrong ? Y-you don’t like my surprise? Is it the rain ? Don’t worry. It’s just a few clouds, it will clear up soon.”
    “No, no. It’s not that. I actually like the rain and the thunders. I just –” she smiled, closing her eyes before making a wish and blowing out the candle. “I didn’t know what to wish for. I have everything I could ever want right –” she placed her hand over his heart. “– here.”
Kai beamed at her, leaning over to kiss her gently while she swiped some of the frosting from the cupcake and tapped his nose with her finger before licking it clean. He laughed, wiping frosting off his nose and she couldn’t help but laugh too. Being with Kai still felt like a dream, having him back felt like a dream but it wasn’t. It was real and there was nothing else she needed, nothing else she wanted or could ever want but having him by her side always.
     "I have so many things planned for today. I am going to make sure this is the best birthday you have ever had! I’ve missed four birthdays already and I have so much to make up for.“ he said excitedly. “Oh, don’t give me that look. I promise not to go overboard, though if it depended on me I would’ve thrown you a parade.”
    “Not going overboard huh ?” she raised her brows for a second, looking around at the flowers and balloons. “Don’t see how that’s going to happen but okay, cuz it might be my birthday but its just another ordinary da–”
    “What ? No, no.” he protested, letting her take a bite from the cupcake. “It’s anything but an ordinary day. It’s the most special day of the year. My favourite day, actually.”
    “I thought that was Thanksgiving.” she pointed out, while he wiped frosting from her nose.
    “It was, but not anymore. Come here.” he smiled at her, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss.  He brushed his palm against her cheek, lovingly gazing into her eyes. “And look – breakfast in bed. I made your favourite nutty chocolate chip pancakes and – ” he grinned, waving his hand over the food tray. “Ta-da. I even got you your favourite brand of maple syrup. Had to go to the other side of town but it was so worth it to see you smile like that.” he pinched her cheeks.
    “Wow. I’ve been awake for 15 minutes and this is already the best birthday I’ve ever had.” she smiled. “Want to know why ?” her lips pressed against his for a long moment before pulling away. “Because you are here. Although … there is one thing missing.”
    “What ?” he looked around, trying to remember if he had forgotten something. Meanwhile Y/N reached for the maple syrup, grabbed a pancake from the plate and poured a little directly onto the pancake in her hand. “What are you doing ?”
    “You forgot the fork.” she said as if its obvious, taking a bite from the pancake while some of the maple syrup dripped on her thighs. Kai couldn’t tear his eyes away, watching the syrup drip slowly on her bare skin and instantly his mind got flooded with thoughts about her. Something told him she was beyond impatient about unwrapping her present because he was absolutely sure there had been a fork. “How else am I supposed to eat those ?”
    “You are hilarious.” he said amused, catching a glimpse of the ‘missing’ fork on the floor on the other side of the room. How had that happened? he wondered, already knowing the answer. “Was it really that hard to say ‘can I please have a fork’? If it wasn’t your birthday I probably would’ve gotten upset with you for getting maple syrup all over my favourite t-shirt.”
Y/N winked at him. “We both know you would’ve torn it off me at some point.”
Kai laughed under his breath, watching her fingers reach to wipe the maple syrup off her thighs when he gripped her wrists, took the pancake off her hands and leaned in, swirling his tongue on her thighs slowly licking up the syrup off her. Instantly her heart rate increased and her breathing turned shallow. He looked up at her with a devilish spark in his eyes and pushed away the food tray pulling her onto his lap, their lips crashing together in an instant. Y/N crossed her elbows around his neck, trying not to get any of the stickiness on him while he continued to suck the air out of her lungs, holding her towards him as if his life depended on it. He backed her against the bed, his crotch lightly grinding against hers making her moan into the kiss. His lips moved hungrily against hers, not wanting to part with them until he had left her demanding mouth to mouth.
    “You naughty, naughty girl.” he cooed, gazing into her eyes. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
    “Oh that ?” she smiled innocently at him, shifting on the bed. “That was a complete accident.”
Kai smirked hearing the change in her heart beat. “Sure it was.” he cooed, trailing his fingertips up her bare thighs while listening to her heart rate increase. “You had no ulterior motive?”
    “None.” she lied again as he gripped her wrists, licking her fingers clean. Her eyes fluttered closed for a second, listening to him moan quietly and she pushed her hips up at him at the same moment he grinded against her.
    “Liar.” his lips almost touching her earlobe as he spoke. His hand slipped between their bodies to her heat, lightly brushing his fingertips against her clit and he hummed in her ear realising she was already wet. Gently he moved his fingers in a circular motion listening to her moan in his ear and pulled back, resting his forehead on hers without taking his eyes off her. “So wet and I haven’t even touched you yet. Hmmm – I planned on waiting until later tonight, though I have no idea how I would’ve made it through the day, but now… I can’t wait to get between your legs and have you for breakfast.”
    “And you said I am the one who woke up hungry.” she teased, playing with the scruff on the back of his head, her hand reaching for the bulge in his boxers. It took her a moment to realise he had probably woken up with a hard on, seeing how the bulge in his boxers appeared to be bigger than she had expected, growing larger still. Her hips pushed down on his fingers but they vanished almost instantly. Y/N looked at him confused, noticing his eyes had started to darken and instantly a tingly feeling spread through her body. There was something about the way he looked at her when he was hungry for her that turned her on like crazy.
    “I didn’t wake up hungry, sweetheart.” he cooed. “I woke up starving.” he smirked devilishly and his lips smashed against hers sucking the air out of her lungs, leaving her completely breathless.

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