Another week of starting out on something ambitious but ending up on something scribbly. Welp. At least this scene should feel familiar to everyone who has ever owned 1) a cat, 2) a bathtub, and 3)secret feelings.
Do you know of any good multiple chapter enchanted forest CS FF?? Maybe with some lieutenant duckling or Captain Hook and last episode Princess Emma???
The Curse of Bean Sidhe by @oubliette14 CS Enchanted Forest AU. A princess, a curse, and a vengeful pirate captain. Kidnapped and cursed as a child, Emma spends nearly a decade locked away in solitude, until one day a certain devilishly handsome pirate comes to her rescue. Rated M for language, violence, and steamy goodness. complete
What Could Have Been by @whisperofgraceA few years after the events in Neverland, a new spell has been created to finally send everybody home to the Enchanted Forest. Something goes awry, and this time it’s up to Killian to break the curse. complete
Friendly Shores by @karmacanary Something has turned The Enchanted Forest upside down. No one is who they appear to be, and loyalties are rebuilt and tested as everyone tries to navigate their new path. When the machinations of an evil man threaten them all, can Emma and Killian overcome their differences to defeat him? And will their kindred souls lead them back to each other? Rated M for sizzle, as always. complete
A Wish Your Heart Makes by jdmusicloverA new villain has invaded the Enchanted Forest-the wicked witch of the west, but she is nothing but the lackey of a far greater evil. When Captain Hook hears of an ancient prophecy that details the defeat of the new villain, he knows the prophecy refers to him and Emma. Can he find Emma? Can he restore her memories and make her fall in love with him before it’s too late? complete
Bring Me Home by Captain PouponOn the day of her twenty-eighth birthday, when a book mysteriously appears to her, Emma is brought to this place called the EnchantedForest and meets an old man who tells her about a prophecy: the one who can help her is Killian Jones. She cannot imagine the adventure she is about to live. complete
From the mythical land of Franks, comes the monarch of fashion, the queen of queefs, the sovereign of sass, Marie Assandtits! Made famous by her statement, “Let them eat men”, Marie’s life (and stature) was tragically cut short by the hipster revolution of 2007 that violently overturned anything fashionable and overdressed. Unfortunately for her, it seems like sexism wasn’t quite over.
❝ It’s a treasure. ❞ ❝ Next time someone asks me if I’m okay, I’m gonna start throwing punches! ❞ ❝ I know what you’re thinking. Why’d it have to be clowns? ❞ ❝ Why do you think I drive everywhere? ❞ ❝ Dude, you fugly. ❞ ❝ It’s like I finally see a light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. ❞ ❝ I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing. ❞ ❝ You know I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda. ❞ ❝ You stink like sex. ❞ ❝ I owe you the biggest “I told you so” ever. ❞ ❝ Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? ❞ ❝ Everybody keeps asking me that, but… no. ❞ ❝ I think I’m adorable. ❞ ❝ I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot. ❞ ❝ Dude, he/she wants me to meet his/her parents. I don’t do parents. ❞ ❝ This weight on my shoulders. Man, I’m tired of it. ❞ ❝ You mean “protection against a demon” salt or “oops, I spilled the popcorn” salt? ❞ ❝ We know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous. ❞ ❝ Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. ❞ ❝ First I’m gonna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap outta him. ❞ ❝ Say you’ll take care of yourself. ❞ ❝ You can take your peace and shove it up your lily-white ass. ❞ ❝ You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. ❞ ❝ You’re serious? You’re gonna walk in there and tell him the truth? ❞ ❝ We’ve talked about this. Personal space? ❞ ❝ Hey, look! A monster broke my leg. ❞ ❝ Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? ❞ ❝ Dude, could you be more gay? ❞ ❝ You fudging touch me again, I’ll fudging kill you! ❞ ❝ Gimme the baby, or I’ll stab you in your throat. ❞ ❝ I bet it’s not even sharp. ❞ ❝ You don’t stop being a soldier because you got wounded in battle. ❞ ❝ Don’t make me lose you, too. ❞ ❝ Dude, stow the touchy-feely-self-help yoga crap! ❞ ❝ No chick flick moments. ❞ ❝ What, are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?! ❞ ❝ Pretend he has boobs. ❞ ❝ If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back. ❞ ❝ I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples. ❞ ❝ Don’t ever change. ❞ ❝ I’m proud of us. ❞ ❝ Not for nothing, last time someone looked at me like that… I got laid. ❞
Hi! Blast from the past, do you happen to still recall the steak prep recipe(with the brine and newspaper) you made in a LRR video ages upon ages ago? I really enjoyed it a few years back-and as my three year run of vegetarianism is coming to a close I figured I'd pull it out again. The video looks like it's no longer up. Thanks for all you do. <3
Transcribed Verbatim by Alex Steacy From The Von Hoffman Bros’ “Big Damn Book Of Sheer Manliness” -Please distribute and enjoy!
Macon’s Politically Incorrect Salt Steak
This recipe involves more than a modicum of showmanship and is guaranteed to command the attention of your guests. For maximum effect, have them scrub up and get involved with the preparation.
But first, a word about your dinner guests. If your friends are the type who stew over the sodium content of their Diet Cokes, who cringe at the fat content in a Caesar salad, who fret knowing that their Bordeaux contains sulfites, who wouldn’t dream of using real butter on a baked potato, who use ground turkey when making a batch of chili… If this describes your peer group, then the first order of business is to go out and cultivate a more lively set of friends!
When you succeed in Befriending that gang who savors a good single malt before dinner, accompanied by a generous portion of cheese, followed by a sumptuous repast dripping with rich sauces and a variety of wines, topped off with a good cigar and a snifter of cognac… now you’re ready to pull out the salt steak! (Contrary to popular belief, your new friends may have a greater life expectancy because they spend much less time worrying about chicken shit.)
1 Large sirloin steak, 1-½ to 2 inches thick (porterhouse is also nice!); the larger the piece of meat, the better, as it decreases the salty outside to tasty inside ratio
6 sheets of newspaper, no color print (we prefer the Wall Street Journal)
1 Large bowl of kosher rock salt
1 Jar whole pepper corns
2 Jars Lawry’s lemon pepper
1 Bottle Worcestershire sauce
1 Jar of Grey Poupon mustard
1 roll of masking tape
10-pound bag of Kingsford charcoal
Start by laying your fire. The biggest risk is not using enough charcoal (more on this later). Your charcoal bed should be at least 6 inches thick (leave the grill off after you light the fire).
After you’ve got the fire started (and you’ve replenished your favourite beverage), mix the spices (rock salt, pepper corns and lemon pepper) together in a big bowl. Lay the six sheets of newspaper open, and plunk that hunk of beef down in the middle o it. Open the jar of mustard, and slather one side of the meat with a ¼-inch-thick layer of it  (your friend’s eyebrows should raise perceptibly at this point).
Next, grab several handfuls of the spice mixture, and plaster it to the mustard. You should have enough spice on there so that you won’t get any mustard on your hands. Then dump enough Worcestershire on there to color the whole thing brown.  Carefully turn the steak over and repeat on the opposite side.
When you’ve finished making a mess of this beautiful piece of meat, wrap it up in the paper, and secure with masking tape  (try to cover as little area as possible with the tape-think of the ribbon on a Xmas present). When the bundle’s secured, immerse the whole thing in your bucket of water -your guests should be howling by now!
Replenish your drink, and tell a few dirty jokes while you wait for the fire to reach its peak. Let the bundle soak.
When the fire has reached its zenith-and your Weber is about to melt-pull the soggy package from the bucket, squeeze out the excess water, and throw it directly on the coals (pray that the fire does not go out!)
Depending upon the size-of-fire to size-of-bundle ratio, allow about 10 minutes on each side. The paper should dry out, and be on the verge of catching fire.
When the bundle is looking good and charred,  rescue it from the fire, and (using your now-empty bucket) remove the paper and scrape all the mustard and spices off the meat. The steak at this point has been partially steam cooked, and will have a sickly white appearance
Put the grill back on your kettle, and brown the steak for 3-5 minutes per side. When it looks like an edible piece of beef again,  slice into ¼-inch-thick strips and serve. If you’ve done it right, the steam from the newspaper has traveled through the spice layer and impregnated the meat with flavour while retaining the juices-a marvellous little example of applied physics.
Be careful not to overcook it though-there'as a fine line between a perfectly seasoned piece of meat and a salt lick. Good luck!
(Harold just finished drawing Mr Krupp’s head saying ‘Put me on your wiener’ on the cafeteria wall with grey poupon and ketchup, when the real Mr Krupp enters the cafeteria as the rest of the kids laugh)
Mr. Krupp: Hutchins! I’ll teach you to make a poupon me!
You should never feel guilty about eating anything.
While this dish isn’t made out of human (darn), it’s still an extremely decadent dish that would be best served to someone you like very much. Layered filet mignon steak and seared duck breast in a red wine sauce make up the meatier end of the plate, while roasted tomatoes with cheese, mushrooms, and egg-filled pastries with crumbled bacon complete the other end.
A little red meat, a little bird, and a wildness that’s impossible to resist to tie it all together.