cooper was my first slow dance in the basement of my friend’s house. i didn’t know him but he was nice and i liked his blue eyes. john took me out to dinner and the movies and asked if he could kiss me. i let him and it was a good first kiss. joseph was all i could see for four years. i wasted weekends with him and laughed with him and thought i was in love. luke asked me out and texted me and called me babe, then stopped when i told him i was a virgin.
i try, but i can’t sum up patrick in sentences. i’m afraid that if i start i won’t be able to stop until i’ve filled a library. i find old cards and messages he’s written me and my heart swells. i think about the sound of his laugh and realize i’m smiling. it blows my mind, that i can feel this much for a person. still find it hard to believe sometimes that he’s mine. there’s so much distance so much of the time but it’ll always, always be worth it.