How deliciously awkward would it be if the boys' crushes had the dirtiest, darkest sense of humor? Like they've never in a million years think such a pretty little thing could spew such filth. Or introducing them to some of her favorite stand up comedians, and they're like 'He's talking about eating ass and you can't even breathe wtf?' Do you think it would take long for them to get used to it, or would they be forever caught off guard by her potty mouth?
AS A GIRL WHO CUSSES LIKE A SAILOR, AND THEN SOME, I CAN RELATE AND LET ME TEELLLL YOUUU:
Totally caught off guard. The first few times, he is SHOOK.
“Hey! Don’t be a penis dude!” HOLY SHIT oH MY GOD WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY??!!!!
He cannot handle. You just have such a potty mouth, and it was mind boggling. He staggered to the side at one point when Mikey was having a playful argument with you, and you just let ‘im have it. [And ironically you kept saying Jesus Christ, which at the time he was thinking about how you were in dire need of said man]
He would get used to it eventually. You’re bold and say what’s on your mind, and he admires that! But if you could cut down on saying ‘dick me down’ as a joke, he would greatly appreciate it.
Doesn’t care. He rivals you in the pottymouth area. You and he will have so many dirty ass inside jokes, leaving Donnie and Leo horrified when you pull out the ‘Rumpleforeskin’ joke.
Both of you will share a favorite comedian and it’s more than likely that you showed them to him. The moment this guy mentions vagina or pulls out a dick joke, the both of you are roaring with laughter, wheezing and physically assaulting your seats.
So yeah, he’s good with your potty mouth.
Like Raph, he doesn’t care about all of that. They’re just words, so what’s the big deal?
You two always come up with the worst jokes, seeing who can get dirtier and test how far you can get.
[Which highkey leave Raph snorting and the two older brothers in a state of 'Oh my diddly damn Jesus Christ on a whole wheat cracker’]
COMEDIANS! Yall two are connaisseurs of the best [and lowkey worst] dirty comedians. Mikey’ll blast the chosen show over the speakers and you’ll come running, and leap into his lap. Yall end up wheezing and gasping for air.
[Im makin myself giggle at this agsgsgsfd]
Oh?? My GOD??? He is so MORTIFIED.
This poor darling canNOT believe you have such a potty mouth.
The first time you cuss; he jerks up and almost hits his head on the nearest surface as he stares at you.
He’s the one whose never gonna get used to it. Every time you cuss he’s gonna jump slightly or his eyes will widen and his lips will press together.
Even though you have such dark humor and a mouth fit for the grittiest sailor, he’s still crushing like no tomorrow.
@kreneeb21 “I was wondering if you could write a fic based on what Meredith was talking about (thinking it was Amelia making all the noise.)”
@cailesss and @amensanatomyrequested a smutty Omelia take on the dinner that the girls forget about that is scheduled to happen in 12x04 (I didn’t know about this until I read the prompt and can’t wait for Thursday!)
WARNING: smut and that…
Things have been confusing between us. Every time we make a concious effort to talk, his lips are near mine and I end up caving into my desire. It would appear as though location has no influence on this problem- porches, elevators, hallways, on-call rooms, the helipad (that was a fun one), a taxi, most recently the queue for the toilet at Joe’s, and currently my bedroom.
Our jackets are lost somewhere between the door and the bed and he has me trapped underneath his big build on top of the sheets, his hands freely roaming my body, groping and squeezing my hips, ass, breasts, thighs… basically every part of me. If there is some flesh to caress he seems to be there with his hands- everywhere. It’s relentless, causing my mouth to instinctively ellicit my pleasure through moans and breathless pants.
I suddenly feel far too dressed for this scenario and move my hands to his tie, pulling between the strands above the already loosened knot. Feeling it fall apart, I whip it to the side and discard it to the floor, returning to free his shirt buttons from their restraints. One by one I make quick work of them whilst his lips amble their way down my neck, nestling into my collarbone and creating waves of desire in my core as I feel him start teasing the skin with sucks and kisses.
As soon as I tug the shirt from his shoulders and his arms are released, he returns to my mouth with renewed sense of purpose- more hungry and desperate. I can feel a growing bulge as I wrap my legs suggestively around his waist and cause his groin to rub against mine. His hand weaves into my hair, his rough fingers massaging the scalp there as he teasingly rubs and brushes his lips into mine, never completing the kiss. It’s so uninhibited and raw, erotic as hell, tongues openly duelling between our mouths. My lower abdomin starts to ache and I can practically hear my vagina screaming for him to close the deal.
He grinds his erection into me slowly and then chuckles as I moan sexually. He loves what he’s doing to me, he knows he’s driving me crazy and he enjoys the fact that I’m currently turning into putty in his hands. Another excrutiatingly slow and hard grind and I can feel my inner walls starting to contract and pulse in need, juices freely flowing within.
His mouth moves round to my ear and starts to play with the lobe, his hot breath penetrating through to my core.
“Mmmmmm, I can tell you’re getting wet,” he mumbles, his voice low and dripping with desire.
“Oh my god, YES.” I swear if she wakes the kids up with that noise… I don’t mind her having sex, of course. She’s a woman- a single woman- and it’s what she’s supposed to be doing. Hell, I think it’s what I’m supposed to be doing… I don’t even know anymore.
“Oh my god, YES.” We both hear the clear but distant moans of another person. I can’t tell whether it’s Meredith or Maggie- either way, it causes Owen to pull back and hover above my face, his eyes meeting mine and a mischievous smile spreading across his face. I bite my lip and stifle an amused chuckle as we both stay frozen in each other’s arms, eyes locked and grins wide, listening for any developments.
After a while, we close the gap and the heavy make-out and dry humping session continues in full force. I get bored being clothed so I shove him off me and he rolls onto his back, allowing me to climb on and straddle him. Instead of leaning down and kissing him, something I can tell he’s expecting, I grab the bottom of my loose fitting jumper and throw it over my head. My naked chest seems to take him by surprise, considering just moments ago his hands were all over me… His gaze on my body looks dark, dirty and dangerous. He looks like he hates me but loves me at the same time. One of those looks that makes my weeping walls inside me melt and once again I can practically hear her screaming for release.
I look back at him, my eyes intense, my teeth biting my bottom lip, my hair messily framing my face and my hands resting naturally on his chest in front of me. I’m watching him soak me in, wanting him to take the mental image- something I could cheekily remind him of in a text sent across a meeting room perhaps…
“Oh God, please…” Begging? Really Amelia, I expected better out of you. Surely you can’t be that desperate, and surely Owen can’t be THAT good in bed? The two have once again been getting along, making out all over the shop, unable to resist the attraction that seems to be there. It’s made me feel a little guilty for discouraging it over a year ago but by the looks of things (and currently the sound of things) it’s had no effect on the outcome. They seem to be finding their way back to each other.
“Oh God, please…” The begging tones of a sister penetrate the walls once more. He puts his hands on my hips as he chuckles at the sound from the other room.
To all my fellow feminist Kick ass ladies and gentlemen out there. I encourage you to watch, and spread this video around. Whats dirtier, little girls with dirty mouths, or gender inequality? You decide!
i need to feed this fantasy i discovered the other night drunk on top of my roof about neighbor michael oK so your parents had told you early in the day that new neighbors had just moved in next door and they wanted you to come with them to go introduce yourselfs and you were like umm no thanks but they kept bugging you about so about ten minutes before they were going to head over you decided, fuck it and went to your “hide out” which was on the roof so after maneuvering your way from the fence onto the roof you sat where the view was the best and when your phone started ringing you just shut it off and stuffed it back in your pocket whilst enjoying the view as the sun was just starting to set and you turned and saw a green haired boy sitting on the roof one over?? “what the fuck” you’d mutter but he still managed to hear you so he’d turn around and also say “what the fuck” then you’d say loudly “first of all, who the fuck are you? second of all, i’ve be coming up here since i was eight, so if you could fuck off that’d be great” and his eyes would widen because wow potty mouth + very pretty girl but then he’d retaliate with “first of all,” he’d mock you “i’m michael your new neighbor, who the fuck are you?” and he’d mock you again “second of all, i was climbing onto the roof of my old house since i was seven” you would get so mad and just grumble “insults” like “why is your hair green” so on and so forth and he’d say “be careful now, i know where you live” and eventually you’d just climb down because he ruined your mood but not before flipping him off but then later in the week past 2am you decide to go out to your hide out and hE’S THERE AGAIN so you try to ignore him and lay flat on your back to look at the stars like you do when it’s night time but then you hear him start to talk “so are you gonna be my guide when school starts?” and you’d laugh a bit and sit up staring at this boy with green hair who was actually reALLY cute “maybe” you’d huff so tHEN this “friendship” would advance to being on the same roof, typically yours and you found out he moved because his father cheated on his mother and this was supposed to be some new start which personally he thought was bullshit and even though you came across as a girl who was mean and hated everything he tore that away and made you giggle a lot and talk all about yourself and you also discovered that you like the same music video games etc. so one night y’all are actually hanging out inside his house and duh bust out the video games because you’re determined to kick his ass in c.o.d and he’s like no way so if i win you have to buy me pizza every friday for a whole month and so you’re like really dude if i win you have buy me pizza every friday for a whole month AND when you answer the door to the pizza guy you have to be naked so he’s like omg you are so on so you end up losing by just one kill and you’re super pissed because you’re rather competitive and so he’d be gloating and rubbing it your face and you’d totally push him to try to get him to shut up and when he wouldn’t you’d tackle him and straddle him on the couch and just give him this look of clifford i swear stfu and then he’d swallow real hard and be like “i wanna change the wager..” and you’d immediately respond with “i’m not answering the door naked” and you’d laugh just thinking about him or anyone really answering the pizza guy naked and he’d be mesmerized by you and your laugh “so what do you want to change it to, i willing to bend the rules for you, just a bit though” and he’d get this rush of courage and grip your face smashing your lips together and you’d be really surprised for a second but then kiss him back with more force, pushing your body tightly against his and this would end up with him sitting back up but you still perched in his lap and just a full fledged make out session and he’d give you ‘beard burn’ with his stubble anD YOU’D JUST TANGLE YOUR FINGERS IN HIS FRICKIN GREEN HAIR AND HE’D SQUEEZE YOUR BUTT HA OKOKOKOK BYE BYE i’m so in love with this i started writing a one shot omg