How deliciously awkward would it be if the boys' crushes had the dirtiest, darkest sense of humor? Like they've never in a million years think such a pretty little thing could spew such filth. Or introducing them to some of her favorite stand up comedians, and they're like 'He's talking about eating ass and you can't even breathe wtf?' Do you think it would take long for them to get used to it, or would they be forever caught off guard by her potty mouth?
AS A GIRL WHO CUSSES LIKE A SAILOR, AND THEN SOME, I CAN RELATE AND LET ME TEELLLL YOUUU:
Totally caught off guard. The first few times, he is SHOOK.
“Hey! Don’t be a penis dude!” HOLY SHIT oH MY GOD WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY??!!!!
He cannot handle. You just have such a potty mouth, and it was mind boggling. He staggered to the side at one point when Mikey was having a playful argument with you, and you just let ‘im have it. [And ironically you kept saying Jesus Christ, which at the time he was thinking about how you were in dire need of said man]
He would get used to it eventually. You’re bold and say what’s on your mind, and he admires that! But if you could cut down on saying ‘dick me down’ as a joke, he would greatly appreciate it.
Doesn’t care. He rivals you in the pottymouth area. You and he will have so many dirty ass inside jokes, leaving Donnie and Leo horrified when you pull out the ‘Rumpleforeskin’ joke.
Both of you will share a favorite comedian and it’s more than likely that you showed them to him. The moment this guy mentions vagina or pulls out a dick joke, the both of you are roaring with laughter, wheezing and physically assaulting your seats.
So yeah, he’s good with your potty mouth.
Like Raph, he doesn’t care about all of that. They’re just words, so what’s the big deal?
You two always come up with the worst jokes, seeing who can get dirtier and test how far you can get.
[Which highkey leave Raph snorting and the two older brothers in a state of 'Oh my diddly damn Jesus Christ on a whole wheat cracker’]
COMEDIANS! Yall two are connaisseurs of the best [and lowkey worst] dirty comedians. Mikey’ll blast the chosen show over the speakers and you’ll come running, and leap into his lap. Yall end up wheezing and gasping for air.
[Im makin myself giggle at this agsgsgsfd]
Oh?? My GOD??? He is so MORTIFIED.
This poor darling canNOT believe you have such a potty mouth.
The first time you cuss; he jerks up and almost hits his head on the nearest surface as he stares at you.
He’s the one whose never gonna get used to it. Every time you cuss he’s gonna jump slightly or his eyes will widen and his lips will press together.
Even though you have such dark humor and a mouth fit for the grittiest sailor, he’s still crushing like no tomorrow.
@kreneeb21 “I was wondering if you could write a fic based on what Meredith was talking about (thinking it was Amelia making all the noise.)”
@cailesss and @amensanatomyrequested a smutty Omelia take on the dinner that the girls forget about that is scheduled to happen in 12x04 (I didn’t know about this until I read the prompt and can’t wait for Thursday!)
WARNING: smut and that…
Things have been confusing between us. Every time we make a concious effort to talk, his lips are near mine and I end up caving into my desire. It would appear as though location has no influence on this problem- porches, elevators, hallways, on-call rooms, the helipad (that was a fun one), a taxi, most recently the queue for the toilet at Joe’s, and currently my bedroom.
Our jackets are lost somewhere between the door and the bed and he has me trapped underneath his big build on top of the sheets, his hands freely roaming my body, groping and squeezing my hips, ass, breasts, thighs… basically every part of me. If there is some flesh to caress he seems to be there with his hands- everywhere. It’s relentless, causing my mouth to instinctively ellicit my pleasure through moans and breathless pants.
I suddenly feel far too dressed for this scenario and move my hands to his tie, pulling between the strands above the already loosened knot. Feeling it fall apart, I whip it to the side and discard it to the floor, returning to free his shirt buttons from their restraints. One by one I make quick work of them whilst his lips amble their way down my neck, nestling into my collarbone and creating waves of desire in my core as I feel him start teasing the skin with sucks and kisses.
As soon as I tug the shirt from his shoulders and his arms are released, he returns to my mouth with renewed sense of purpose- more hungry and desperate. I can feel a growing bulge as I wrap my legs suggestively around his waist and cause his groin to rub against mine. His hand weaves into my hair, his rough fingers massaging the scalp there as he teasingly rubs and brushes his lips into mine, never completing the kiss. It’s so uninhibited and raw, erotic as hell, tongues openly duelling between our mouths. My lower abdomin starts to ache and I can practically hear my vagina screaming for him to close the deal.
He grinds his erection into me slowly and then chuckles as I moan sexually. He loves what he’s doing to me, he knows he’s driving me crazy and he enjoys the fact that I’m currently turning into putty in his hands. Another excrutiatingly slow and hard grind and I can feel my inner walls starting to contract and pulse in need, juices freely flowing within.
His mouth moves round to my ear and starts to play with the lobe, his hot breath penetrating through to my core.
“Mmmmmm, I can tell you’re getting wet,” he mumbles, his voice low and dripping with desire.
“Oh my god, YES.” I swear if she wakes the kids up with that noise… I don’t mind her having sex, of course. She’s a woman- a single woman- and it’s what she’s supposed to be doing. Hell, I think it’s what I’m supposed to be doing… I don’t even know anymore.
“Oh my god, YES.” We both hear the clear but distant moans of another person. I can’t tell whether it’s Meredith or Maggie- either way, it causes Owen to pull back and hover above my face, his eyes meeting mine and a mischievous smile spreading across his face. I bite my lip and stifle an amused chuckle as we both stay frozen in each other’s arms, eyes locked and grins wide, listening for any developments.
After a while, we close the gap and the heavy make-out and dry humping session continues in full force. I get bored being clothed so I shove him off me and he rolls onto his back, allowing me to climb on and straddle him. Instead of leaning down and kissing him, something I can tell he’s expecting, I grab the bottom of my loose fitting jumper and throw it over my head. My naked chest seems to take him by surprise, considering just moments ago his hands were all over me… His gaze on my body looks dark, dirty and dangerous. He looks like he hates me but loves me at the same time. One of those looks that makes my weeping walls inside me melt and once again I can practically hear her screaming for release.
I look back at him, my eyes intense, my teeth biting my bottom lip, my hair messily framing my face and my hands resting naturally on his chest in front of me. I’m watching him soak me in, wanting him to take the mental image- something I could cheekily remind him of in a text sent across a meeting room perhaps…
“Oh God, please…” Begging? Really Amelia, I expected better out of you. Surely you can’t be that desperate, and surely Owen can’t be THAT good in bed? The two have once again been getting along, making out all over the shop, unable to resist the attraction that seems to be there. It’s made me feel a little guilty for discouraging it over a year ago but by the looks of things (and currently the sound of things) it’s had no effect on the outcome. They seem to be finding their way back to each other.
“Oh God, please…” The begging tones of a sister penetrate the walls once more. He puts his hands on my hips as he chuckles at the sound from the other room.
To all my fellow feminist Kick ass ladies and gentlemen out there. I encourage you to watch, and spread this video around. Whats dirtier, little girls with dirty mouths, or gender inequality? You decide!