Welcome back to another round of Domestic Drabbles :D Time for part 7! I needed something ridiculously cheesy and cute since part 6 left us all in an emotional mess (mostly me though). I’m actually not 100% on Penny being a Ravenclaw. (I really can’t decide) But it worked out best for this fic.
Anyway, shoutout to the amazing @baz-n-simon for being the best beta, support, and friend EVER!
Simon is obsessed with quizzes, and not the educational kind, or else he may have done better in school. No, it’s the useless quizzes he seems to love so much. The sorting kind: “What kind of bird are you?” “What would be your superpower?” “Pick a taco and we’ll tell you at what age you’ll get married.” (Incidentally, that one said he was already married, but I’m not suspicious.) It’s all totally useless knowledge. Bunce says that useless knowledge doesn’t exist, but she’s not dating Simon Snow. And she’s not the one being begged to take them all after he’s done.
I took a few of them at first, of course, just to humor Snow. It seemed trivial at the time. But after finding out that I’m a pigeon, and that my superpower is invisibility (and the countless vampire jokes that ensued shortly afterwards), and that I’m apparently never getting married because I’m not a fan of tacos, I had to put my foot down. But apparently, that means nothing because a laptop is being shoved in my face.
“No way, Snow.”
“But, Baz, we have to know!”
“We already know.”
Bunce walks in and gives us a questioning glare as I yank the laptop out of Snow’s hands and sit it down on the coffee table.
“What don’t we know officially?” She asks, sitting down on the end of the sofa. Then she glances between us. “You two aren’t flirting, are you?”
I roll my eyes. Snow makes a grab for the laptop, but I swipe it up from the table and walk away from the couch.
“We don’t know Baz’s Hogwarts house,” he says. He huffs and crosses his arm, glaring at me and then at the laptop in my hands. I almost smile at him. Because he’s pouting.
I slide the laptop onto the bookshelf and turn to him. “I’ve already told you, Snow. I’m not taking anymore of your quizzes.”
Bunce’s eyes widen. “You don’t know your Hogwart’s house, Basilton?”
I raise an eyebrow at her and give her a disappointed look. “Not you too, Bunce.”
“Penny is a Ravenclaw,” Snow says, nodding towards her. Bunce nods in return and sips her tea. “And I’m a Hufflepuff.”
“Of course you’re a Hufflepuff, Snow,” I say.
He rolls his eyes. “But we don’t know your house, Baz.”
“Of course we do,” I say. I run my hand cooly through my hair and smirk at him. “We all know I’m a Slytherin.”
Snow doesn’t react to this. “Not officially,” he says, and he points to the laptop. “You have to take the quiz.”
Bunce snorts. “I don’t buy that for a second, Baz. You may exude Slytherin on the outside, but you’re just as bad as Simon. I think” —she locks her eyes with mine— “that you’re a Hufflepuff.”
Snow starts laughing, but I just frown. “I’m not a Hufflepuff, Bunce. That’s absurd.”
She shrugs and sips her tea again. “You’ll never know unless you take the quiz.”
Snow giggles a bit more, then smiles at me. Crowley, I think. I never win. Because the evening sun is setting, and the light is filtering through the windows. And Simon’s face is glowing. And he’s smiling so wide. And I hate him for it. Because that smile makes me weak. It makes me want to say yes. It makes me want to agree. It makes me want to do whatever it takes just to keep him smiling.
I roll my eyes and sigh. “Fine, Simon,” I say, grabbing the laptop from the shelf. I ignore Bunce’s questioning stare as I walk back over to the couch and hand the laptop to Snow. “I’ll take your stupid quiz.”
Snow takes the laptop happily and opens it as I sit down beside him. As he types away at it, I run my fingers through his hair, watching as the light reflects off of each curl. He swishes his ridiculous tail over at me and winds it around my arm. Bunce scoffs at this, then gets up and walks toward the kitchen.
“Ready,” Snow says, then hands me the laptop. He leans against me and puts his head on my shoulder.
I read through the questions carefully and probably spend too long on each one. But maybe I’m dragging this out on purpose. Because Simon smells wonderful. Like cinnamon and citrus and a scent that I can never quite seem to describe. And his tail is still wrapped around my arm, and his thumb is moving against my leg.
When I select my answer to a certain question, Snow looks up at me with a questioning eyebrow raise.
“White?” he asks.
“What’s wrong with white?”
“You’re a vampire, Baz.”
“Your last name is Pitch.”
“What’s your point, Snow?”
He doesn’t say anything and puts his head back on my shoulder.
I read through the next few questions, then hesitate on clicking the ‘Find Out Your Results’ button.
“The moment of truth,” Snow says, sitting up and staring intently at the screen.
I roll my eyes and frown, then click on the button. We wait a few seconds (of course, Snow has the slowest laptop in existence), and then the page loads, and I immediately slam the laptop shut.
Snow is laughing. He’s doubled over and laughing. Too much and too hard.
“Shut up, Snow,” I say. I nudge him in the side, but he’s laughing too much to care.
Bunce walks back into the room, and I glare at her. She looks over at Snow, then smiles.
“Ah, yes” she says, grinning slyly. “Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, the Hufflepuff who lived.”
I roll my eyes. “Fuck off, Bunce.”
Snow unwinds his tail from my arm, then gets up and shuffles quickly to his room.
“I told you so,” Bunce snarks.
“I don’t want to hear it,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. I just want to spell this laptop away from me.
Snow then comes out of his room, leans over the back of the couch, and drapes an obnoxiously large yellow and black-striped scarf around my neck.
“There, Baz,” he says, leaning over more to kiss me on my cheek. “We can be in Hufflepuff together.”
My cheek feels warm, tingly, almost like a burn, but I just scoff at him.
“I don’t want this bloody scarf, Snow,” I say as I try to push it off. But then I inhale, and the scarf smells like him. Like cinnamon and citrus and that scent that I can never quite seem to describe. But it’s the one that I know so well. And as it leaves my nose, I breathe it all in again.
Doctor Who Headcanons: What It’s Like Being A Witch/Wizard And Traveling With The Doctor (Harry Potter Universe)
A/N: I felt inspired to write this because I recently saw Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. I normally don’t do crossovers, but oh well. Just this once ;) (yes that was a vague Tenth Doctor and Martha reference)
The Doctor does not completely trust you at first. He’s trying to shove science into everything about you and your magic. He’s trying to disprove magic because he’s really against it (Shakespeare Code). He really encourages you to not use magic even if it helps you both in the long run.
You will get agitated by the Doctor “trying to explain” what you are. It leads to arguments.
You will apparate in front of him to scare him.
“Stop doing that!” “But it’s fun!”
If you’re an animagus, you will turn into your animal to help the Doctor on your missions. He’s weirded out by it, but it’s useful.
Casting random spells in the Tardis to show off.
“Accio!” “Gah! You nearly took out my head with that flying book!”
The Doctor eventually stops trying to be all science-y about your magic. He even begins to ask you questions about Hogwarts/Ilvermorny.
You telling the Doctor which house he belongs in and he just goes along with it.
The Doctor taking your wand and playing around with it, which scares you because you’re afraid he’ll break it because he came close one time.
Explaining wizard terms to him. Muggle, Squib, etc.
Flying around on your broom and laughing at the Doctor shouting “that’s not physically possible!”
If you’re an American witch/wizard you have to be careful an make sure no one finds out about the Doctor knowing who you are… Which would lead to him having to forget. (Based off of FBAWTFT)
Fighting bad guys off with peculiar spells… The Doctor doesn’t quite approve.
Sometimes you have to go off and join the Wizarding world for important matters, which leaves the Doctor feeling worried and lonely. Voldemort etc.
The Doctor avoiding certain time eras like the Salem Witch Trial era even though there’s a potion to prevent you from burning.
Overall it’s certainly a new experience for you and the Doctor.
Reasons why Newt Scamander is exactly like Doctor Who
Appearances:Most noticeably, the facial expressions of Newt and Doctors 10 and 11 are very similar. Their voice patterns are also very similar, the muttered monologues to themselves and the halt between speech where there shouldn’t be one. They are also both somewhat socially awkward, acting slightly out of place.
Possessions: Newt Scamander owns a very special suitcase, more than Mary Poppins-esque at the very least. His suitcase contains its own miniature world, where a menagerie of beasts live in wildly different climates. It’s almost, bigger on the inside. I couldn’t help but notice the parallel between itself and the Tardis, a time traveling ship that is infinitely big
Companionship: The Doctor often picks up humans from Earth and takes them on adventures so marvelous that its almost magical. Newt Scamander does something rather similar to this during the film, he unintentionally brings a no-maj (muggle) into his wild beast chase. This companion often leaves the series with their memory wiped and living comfortably, just like Kowalski being obliviated and getting his bakery.
Empathy: The Doctor and Newt Scamander both have a deep empathy for non-human beings. During the series, the Doctor often stands up for and protects aliens from ignorant and fearful humans. The plot centers around Newt advocating for his beasts, saying they’re misunderstood and are really quite friendly. They both are able to communicate at some level with these non-human entities unlike anyone else.
I started an original Doctor Who story/AU and it’s only a test run chapter at the moment (unless people like it!) CHECK IT OUT AND SEE IF IT’S SOMETHING YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF GETTING IN TO OR JUST SEE IF YOU LIKE IT! It’s about the fifteenth Doctor (YUP, THE FIFTEENTH) with an original companion: