I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.
We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed itself to be the opposite. We unpeeled the layers of corruption within the government, we saw cruelty against minorities grow in the past decades, and had media attack us and had teachers tell us that we ‘must not tell lies’. We got angry and frustrated and, like Harry, Ron and Hermione, had to think of a way to fight back. And them winning? That would have been enough to give us hope and leave us satisfied.
But instead. There was skip scene. And suddenly they were all over 30 and happy with their 2.5 children.
And the Millennials were left flailing in the dust.
Because while we recognised and empathised with everything up to that point. But seeing the Golden Trio financially stable and content and married? That was not something our generation could recognise. Because we have no idea if we’re ever going to be able to reach that stage. Not with the world we’re living in right now.
Having Harry, Ron and Hermione stare off into the distance after the battle and wonder about what the future might be would have stuck with us. Hell, have them move into a shitty flat together and try and sort out their lives would have. Have them with screaming nightmares and failed relationships and trying to get jobs in a society that’s falling apart would have. Have them still trying to fix things in that society would have. Because we known Voldemort was just a symptom of the disease of prejudice the Wizarding World.
But don’t push us off with an 'all was well’. In a world about magic, JK Rowling finally broke our suspension of disbelief by having them all hit middle-class and middle-age contentment and expecting a fanbase of teenagers to accept it.
Also. Since when was 'don’t worry kids, you’re going to turn out just like your parents’ ever a happy ending? Does our generation even recognise marriage and money and jobs as the fulfillment of life anymore? Does our generation even recognise the Epilogue’s Golden Trio anymore?
Being straight is like being in gryffindor: all the main characters are always gryffindor, there’s tons of merch for gryffindor, and no one’s gonna give you shit for being in gryffindor.
Being gay is like being in slytherin: everyone has heard of it, but the merch is few and far between so you have to really want it. The only slytherin characters are secondary and morally gray. Some people think you are evil.
Being bisexual is like being in ravenclaw: there is no merch. there are no major ravenclaw characters. people definitely try to lump it in with either gryffindor or slytherin, and there are a few weird stereotypes.
1977. Younger muggleborns laughingly answering ‘Abracadabra’ when asked by teachers if they know how a spell works. Purebloods screaming and ducking under tables because they misheard and this 12 year old is trying to use the killing curse on me.
forever bitter b/c the moment motherfucking drama queen sirius black chose to find his Chill™ was that precise second when his desperate, distraught, despondent godson asked him to explain thoroughly and in detail how exactly it was that his mother and father got together because his mother OBVIOUSLY hated his father.
Alternative ‘nah, she didn’t’ canon-plausible Sirius reactions:
grabbing Floo Harry by the shoulders and saying, “harry, your mum loved your dad as much as i loved my motorbike.”
listing places he caught them snogging
giving an overly detailed three hour oral history of their romance
or a three minute oral history in musical form
harry, has anyone had the talk with you? do you know what sexual tension is? (remus: sit down, sirius.)
reciting from memory the half written sonnet james had started for lily for seventh year valentine’s day, which he made the fatal mistake of chucking in the bin for sirius to find instead of burning it to erase all evidence
forcing remus to be lily and doing a dramatic reenactment of james proposing