potter is the way

6

Earlier:
Send him a message.”
No, you send him a message. I don’t want to spoil his night. It’s his and his wife’s wedding anniversary. I’m sure they are celebrating now.”
Who cares! We will die if we don’t get some help!”
“Well, I care! Have you seen Potter in a bad mood? We are going to die either way.”

[instagram @potterbyblvnk]

pomrania  asked:

Do they get him a special anniversary gift the next day, to try and make up for it?

Sure. Next morning those two auror knock on Harry’s office door. 

“Hi, Mr. Potter, we’ve got some flowers for your wife. Roses. Beautiful roses. We are really sorry we spoiled your night, so we thought we should buy these flowers so you can give them to Mrs. Potter.”
“By the way, sir, happy late anniversary.” 
Harry looks at both of them.
“She hates flowers.”
“Then those are for you, sir!”
“Get out of my office.”

I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.

We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed itself to be the opposite. We unpeeled the layers of corruption within the government, we saw cruelty against minorities grow in the past decades, and had media attack us and had teachers tell us that we ‘must not tell lies’. We got angry and frustrated and, like Harry, Ron and Hermione, had to think of a way to fight back. And them winning? That would have been enough to give us hope and leave us satisfied.

But instead. There was skip scene. And suddenly they were all over 30 and happy with their 2.5 children.

And the Millennials were left flailing in the dust.

Because while we recognised and empathised with everything up to that point. But seeing the Golden Trio financially stable and content and married? That was not something our generation could recognise. Because we have no idea if we’re ever going to be able to reach that stage. Not with the world we’re living in right now.

Having Harry, Ron and Hermione stare off into the distance after the battle and wonder about what the future might be would have stuck with us. Hell, have them move into a shitty flat together and try and sort out their lives would have. Have them with screaming nightmares and failed relationships and trying to get jobs in a society that’s falling apart would have. Have them still trying to fix things in that society would have. Because we known Voldemort was just a symptom of the disease of prejudice the Wizarding World.

But don’t push us off with an 'all was well’. In a world about magic, JK Rowling finally broke our suspension of disbelief by having them all hit middle-class and middle-age contentment and expecting a fanbase of teenagers to accept it.

Also. Since when was 'don’t worry kids, you’re going to turn out just like your parents’ ever a happy ending? Does our generation even recognise marriage and money and jobs as the fulfillment of life anymore? Does our generation even recognise the Epilogue’s Golden Trio anymore?

How to Snag Potter

By Draco Malfoy


1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead. 

2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall

3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it. 

4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.

5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.

6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.

7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?

8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.

9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.

10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.

11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.

12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner. 

14. Invite him for drinks. 

15. Buy him a birthday present. 

16. Kiss him. 

17. Go back to his flat. 

18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.

19. Attempt to make him breakfast.

20. Come out to the Prophet together.

21. Date for three years.

22. Say “yes.”

One morning Sirius Black saunters into the Great Hall with his hair in a bun and tie loose as can be. And he plonks himself down at the table and everyone just stares. 

Because his neck is covered in hickeys. 

And he’s all grins and showing them off like nobodies business.

And all the girls in the Hall are eyeing each other up like ‘Which one of you bitches got to do that? Fuck you why wasn’t it me…’

McGoangall just stares for second before averting her eyes. She can’t think of any rules he’s broken but Jesus Christ should that be allowed?

And James walks in, hand combing through his hair before he see. And he just raises he eyebrow and smiles.

‘Merlin Remus, get a bit carried away did we?’

And Remus is just siting there, red as tomato, wanting to die because it’s so embarrassing and someone is laughing oh no.. 

But secretly he is really fucking pleased with himself. Like, damn. I did that.


I don’t know man.. Wolfstar with hickeys just makes me happy.

youtube

The 20 most memorable moments from the Harry Potter books – as chosen by fans.

  • Draco, flinging himself onto Harry's lap: Did you miss me?
  • Harry: You went to the bathroom for two minutes
  • Draco: I know. Did you miss me?
  • Harry: Malfoy, we hate each other.
  • Draco: Then why haven't you pushed me out of your lap yet?
  • Harry: I... maybe I did miss you
  • Draco: *smug*
he definitely likes you
  • Draco: *wanking in his bed* Potterrrrr
  • Harry: What?
  • Draco: *jumps* OH MY GOD WHAT?!!?
  • Harry: *taking off the invisibility cloak* How did you know I was here??? I was so quiet???
  • Draco: *furiously scrambling to protect his modesty* I- I didn't know you were there!?
  • Harry: Oh... so you didn't notice me?
  • Draco: ...no
  • Harry: Whew, good. Alright then, please carry on *slips back under the cloak*
  • Draco: *confusedly resumes wanking*
  • Draco in his head: I wonder if Potter likes me
  • Harry in his head: I wonder if Malfoy likes me
726. There was one muggleborn in Hufflepuff that developed a strange habit of snatching food from the hands of Gryffindor students. When they were finally confronted about this behavior they simply said "Honey badgers have been known to steal food from lions. Honey badger doesn't give a shit it just takes what it wants." They then proceeded to snatch a pastry from the hand of a prefect and walk away.

submitted by 1000gallonsofgaming

Rage

Draco feels a tremor tear through him. His fists are clenched, his jaw muscles tense, his chest tight, his knees wobbly. He’s breathing heavily as his stomach twists viciously, the hot feeling inside it beginning to spread, infecting the rest of his body. Like venom. He stares down the empty corridor, lit by torches. His vision blurs, little spots appearing in front of him. He feels dizzy. He wants to scream. He wants this feeling inside of him to take physical form, so he can punch it, destroy it.

He wants the rage to leave his body.

Well, what Draco really wants is the cause of his rage to go away. How many letters from his father is he supposed to receive calmly, while Lucius keeps going on and on about how disappointed he is in his son, not sure if he can be even called his son any longer.

Draco feels sick. His stomach gives another twist, but Draco refuses to show weakness. He will not be sick. No. He hears, rather than feels, his jaw cracking as he tenses his muscles further. His arms are shaking now. Unthinkingly, he turns to the wall and punches it. Hard. He feels no pain, but there’s another cracking sound.

Draco feels his eyes sting, which only makes him angrier. This will not make him cry. He will not spill a single tear over this. And yet, he can’t seem to stop the hot tears from running down his cheeks.

He startles when he hears footsteps echoing off the walls. He hastily wipes the tears away with his sleeve and looks up. Of course. Of course it has to be Potter!

“Malfoy.” He sounds puzzled. “What are you doing here?”

Draco doesn’t answer and averts his eyes, in fear of Potter noticing he just had a moment of weakness.

“Malfoy,” Potter repeats. Draco feels a new surge of anger course through him. He wants to hit Potter. Hexing him wouldn’t be gratifying enough. He wants to physically injure him with his hands, his whole body.

Before Potter knows what’s happening, Draco lunges at him. His fist connects with his jaw and Potter stumbles backward. He blinks a few times, obviously flabbergasted and blinks at Draco stupidly. After a moment, he frowns.

“What the hell, Malfoy?”

Draco lunges at him again, trying to land a punch. His vision blurs once more, making it difficult to see where to hit Potter. But it doesn’t matter. Draco doesn’t care which part of Potter he will injure, as long as it hurts. He wants Potter to hurt as much as he does.

But Potter is fighting back. He hits Draco in the stomach, making him flinch. He welcomes the sharp pain. It numbs the other sensations in his body. It doesn’t last long, though. Once again, he feels detached from his body.

Draco’s not sure, but he thinks he got Potter on his shoulder and punched his chest, knocking the breath out of him. When Draco starts whirling around again, striking out in an uncontrolled manner, he suddenly feels arms encircling him, clutching him.

“Damn it, Malfoy, stop,” Potter shouts. He tightens his grip, trying to get Draco to stop moving. Draco fights against the restraint, tries to break free, but Potter is apparently stronger than him.

“Bloody hell, I heard you’ve been starting fights lately for no apparent reason,” Potter squeezes out while Draco still tries to get him off him. “What is the matter with you?”

Draco just grunts and tries to shove his elbow into Potter’s side. He fails. When all his attempts fail, he finally slumps down. Potter, surprised by the sudden extra weight, tumbles and they both go down.

Draco needs a moment to realise he’s half sitting in Potter’s lap, his body still somewhat encircled by Potter’s arms. It’s too much. Draco can’t take this. The hot tears he spilled earlier are nothing compared to what’s happening right now. He’s choking on his own sobs, every inhale torture to his lungs.

He can’t even win a fight against Potter, Draco thinks bitterly. Is his father right? Is Draco really a disappointment? Draco is faintly aware that he’s heaving and puffing, his chest aching.

“Malfoy,” Potter says quietly, uncertainty clear in his voice. He hasn’t moved his arms and Draco wants to slap them away, because the warmth that’s seeping through his robes is too bittersweet for him to bear. It’s not Potter’s intention to comfort him with this proximity.

“Your hand,” Potter suddenly mutters. Draco looks down at it. His hand his bruised and swollen, the skin on his knuckles cracked. He still doesn’t feel any pain. He’s just numb, like most days lately, not in control of his own body.

He hates that he can’t get up and just leave. He’s still sitting in Potter’s lap, sobbing like a child. Draco feels a tentative finger under his chin and tries to jerk his head away, but Potter’s grip is firm. He forces Draco to look at him and Draco can do nothing against it. He stares at Potter as several emotions pass over his face. His eyes are wide and his mouth opens to release a warm puff of breath. Draco feels it on his face and it’s like Potter has struck him.

The aching in his chest worsens and Draco breaks down completely. He lets his head fall down, not caring where it lands. The fingers under his chin disappear, as Draco’s head hits something solid. Potter’s shoulder, he realises, when something soft tickles his ear. Potter’s hair.

Draco knows this is wrong. He knows Potter is getting a glimpse of something, Draco has been trying to hide from everyone. He can’t show weakness. He just can’t.

He isn’t sure, at first, if he’s imagining something pressing into his back and the warmth on his cheek, until he tries to turn his head and finds that he can’t. Because Potter’s cheek is pressing into his, his arms are around Draco once more. He’s drawing circles on Draco’s back with his palms rather awkwardly.

Draco really does know this is wrong and he has no idea what possessed Potter to actually try and comfort him, but when Draco feels a warm hand move over his head and begins stroking his hair, Draco closes his eyes and decides that, just for tonight, he will forget about everything that is wrong.

2

stupid sexy draco malfoy 

taking place after harry’s bi awakening

Houses as things I've Said

Gryffindor: *listens to news report on how our phones give off the same chemicals as marijuana in the brain* Ha! Yo Chris, pass the phone.

Hufflepuff: If I’m not up by 11:40 make sure the fishes have a balanced breakfast.

Ravenclaw: Got water?
Yeah I’m 65% water.
Okay, but how do I drink you?

Slytherin: *Me buying 3 packs of 72 ego waffles* Shut up Alan! I have needs that you’ll never understand! You could never understand.