Idk why but I really want a lowkey kind of comedy about a kid who studies hardcore all the time because she’s sure she’s a Ravenclaw and it’s her favorite house but then she gets sorted into Hufflepuff and is like??? Wtf???
And a kid who is Sure they’re a Hufflepuff because they’re really good at finding things when they go out exploring but then they’re sorted into Ravenclaw and they’re like um no??? I suck at math?? I can’t get into the common room because riddles are mean??
And then the two of them become friends and are just disgruntled together while being completely oblivious as to why they were sorted into their houses and this honestly isn’t even a fun idea I just want to see it for some reason??
“Yeah I just don’t understand why I was sorted into Ravenclaw”
“What’s that on your desk”
“Just my rock collection, I have 67 different types”
“I’m Not a Hufflepuff, I studied for eight years to get into Ravenclaw”
- 6th year Albus and Scorpius exploring their sexuality with each other.
- Clumsily touching lips, noses bumping, hushed apologies from behind Albus’s bed curtains despite a silencing spell already being cast because deep down they were so worried that what they were doing was wrong.
- Continuing this for several weeks as they grow more and more comfortable with each other.
- Stealing quick kisses in abandoned corridors, exchanging looks in the library, loving the rush they get when they hear footsteps walk past their empty dorm.
- Rose finally accepting Scorpius’ date invitation after years of asking.
- Scorpius saying yes without a thought, and telling Albus without a care in the world.
- Albus’s heart dropping in his chest as Scorpius tells him the “wonderful news.”
- ”You were wrong Albus. You really were just a game to him. Don’t be heartbroken; you should have seen it coming.”
- Going on only two (uneventful) dates with Rose before him beginning to miss Albus’s lips against his own, wanting to feel his arms wrapped around his waist again.
- “He doesn’t miss you, Scorpius. You’re meant to be with Rose, a girl. You were just fooling around. That’s what teenagers do, right?”
- Albus and Scorpius relaxing by the fireplace together one winter night and getting a bit too playful.
- Scorpius pinning Albus to the soft carpet and hovering above him for a moment before instinctively leaning in.
- Albus completely freezing up at first, not being able to help but notice how beautifully the glow of the fire captured all of Scorpius’s features.
- His heart beating faster as their lips finally touch, sending a large chill down his spine.
- Their kiss becoming more and more heated, Scorpius’s mouth beginning to kiss along Albus’s jawline.
- A soft “I love you” slipping past his lips as they parted from his skin briefly.
- Albus shoving him off half-heartedly and trying to look past the hurt in his eyes.
- “You don’t mean that. You’re straight and in love with my cousin.”
- Scorpius still lightly panting, lips pink and hair messy, raising his eyebrow and shaking his head in disagreement.
- Him finally admitting, “I was scared to love you, but I know now. I can’t stand being without you.”
- Albus’s cheeks glowing Weasley-red, the tint being illuminated even more by the warm glow of the first place.
- Him pressing a shy kiss onto the boy’s cheek before whispering:
1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead.
2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall
3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it.
4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.
5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.
6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.
7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?
8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.
9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.
10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.
11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.
12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.
Sorry I haven’t written in a while.
13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner.
14. Invite him for drinks.
15. Buy him a birthday present.
16. Kiss him.
17. Go back to his flat.
18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.