potential

10

Newsprint meets Toned Papers:

(This is the continuation of some points explored in the previous three posts) 

The Conte crayon drawings I have done on 24 x 36″ sheets of Newsprint are some of the work of mine I like best. But over the last few years I have tried some alternate media to capture what I like about them on a better surface. Here are five current drawings, done with oil-based pencil on hand-coloured paper, beside comparable newsprint drawings. 

The new ones are a third to a quarter of the size of the newsprint drawings, but the balance of line/tone, and the even-ness and luminous quality of shading are in a similar ballpark - I believe these are the closest of everything tried so far. 

But these colour ones are on acid-free paper, which is sturdy enough to allow for post-session additions and amendments, and lasting enough to make that worth trying, so I’m optimistic about the future explorations they allow. 

FUN FACT: Humans have explored less than 5% of the ocean… 

How much of you is left to explore?

Entp Confession#3

I think all my life I’ve been happy to be defined as someone who has ‘the potential to be the best’ rather than being the best. Because honestly potential to me is something very scary. Until you use it, it’s all there and people have high hopes but when you do use it, it suddenly disappears. It’s not tangible and something that exists entirely in someone’s perception of you.
And you have to admit, there’s a charm to being the lazy genius, practicality be damned

The humanism bypass. I did it for years. I saw glimpses of someone’s potential, their beautiful soul, their loving heart, and told myself that this was who they truly were, ignoring all the rest. But the rest was what destroyed. The rest is where they lived most of the time. The rest was no illusion- it was them, too. This self-destructive pattern was birthed in two places: (1) my deep desire to see the best in my difficult parents. Not for them, but for me. I needed to believe that there was something kind and caring living inside of them; (2) a misplaced projection from my own self-concept work. I held the belief in my own potential, as a way of overcoming the shame I carried. But I made the mistake of assuming that everyone else was just as eager to find their light. Of course we all have glowing potential. At the core, we are all magnificent beings with profound capacities. But how many of us fully actualize it? At this stage of human development, not so many. The trick is to hold the space for two things at once- a deep belief in everyone’s possibilities, and a deep regard for your own well-being. It’s okay to pray for everyone’s liberation without joining them in prison. Pray from outside the prison walls, while taking exquisite care of yourself. It’s okay- you can’t do the work for them anyway. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries… don’t leave home without them.
—  Jeff Brown