potato-bug

@eldritchpopkitsch tags me in just about every meme and I am always so bad about doing them/returning the favor but here we go! Tagged to list 10 facts about myself:
1. Pit bulls are my favorite breeds of dog. They are the perfect blend of couch potato snuggle-bug and sporty. I am vehemently against breed discrimination for about a million reasons. Chiefly, genetic testing isn’t done to confirm the breed and is based on appearance. I am however not a blithe pit bull savior. For instance, the notion that “it’s not the breed, it’s how they are raised!” tact. Yeah, sure, mostly. But some dogs are born with profound issues and shouldn’t be a pet, sadly. I also believe in choosing a breed that is right for you. Pits are tenacious, intelligent, emotional pups: 50 lbs of insanely energetic terrier. You gotta know how to handle that and u gotta know if you can handle having a rescue dog w/ trauma in combo w/ those breed traits. Own ur ownership. I actually got play-bit by a neighbor’s pit a few days ago. He’s always in the front yard and is a big boy not. But he playfully bit went for my hoody-covered arm and I got a small bruise. These owners are inviting DISASTER. Train ur pups. It’s about protecting your dog in addition to ppl.

2. I do own a pit with a mysterious history who does have some issues. There was a learning curve there. But I also think the trauma narrative with dogs is a bit overplayed. For instance, most rescues aren’t these ptsd-ridden pups. You can have a dog from a breeder is who is a total mess but w/o trauma. 

Getting back on track:

3. I really love true crime and am frequently bad about bringing up murder over dinner. If u need a new true crime podcast, btw, DIRTY JOHN is fantastic. I was crying at the end. 

4. at 29-years-old I discovered after a decade of being 5′ I was nearly 5′2′’. 

5. I don’t if any of the younger folk recall D.A.R.E. Drug and Alcohol Resistance Education. Now a relic of the 1990′s failed war on drugs it was a program cops employed by coming to schools and having kids fill out a workbook etc. I actually won an essay contest about why I personally would Resist Drugs and Alcohol. I was doing it cuz I wanted to win the prize: a plush lion. I was super ambivalent about the program. I was, luckily, a clever child with an ingrained mistrust of authority and black & white thinking, if not a total ppl pleaser. But I love stuffed animals so I crafted a convincing essay. I won and, thanks Officer Bradley, didn’t get a damn lion. 

6. I very very much feel like stuffed animals have feelings and I worry about hurting their feelings.

7. I have so so so many allergies that will make me so sick that I can’t do anything. Like miserable. Nothing food related, except I am pretty sure pineapple. 

8. I’m a writer but am a shit speller and proofreader. I write and talk fast and miss grammatical errors. My syntax is fucked. I am generally good writer, I think, but my brain just moves very very fast. I think this is why I stick to poetry: more room to be a fuck up. 

9. I have a notorious sweet tooth. And rarely finish a meal w/o some kind of dessert. 

10. I am actually not into romanticizing typewriters. Maybe it’s cuz i do poetry but I have had ppl ask if I write on a typewriter. Fuck no! See above fact about spelling/grammar. Thank good for word processors and spell check. 

Alright and it turn I shall tag: @nineteencigarettes @secret-skin @circuitbird @tiredandangrymuse @martyred @brucespringsteenfuckyeah @applebottomorchards @yllo-line @unfamiliarname

Cheers

anonymous asked:

Prompt. Beca calls their new born baby a potato bug and Chloe gets all mock offended but sort of actually offended. And then later on, maybe via baby monitor, beca catches Chloe calling their baby "bug" as a nickname and teases her mercilessly for it. I'm in need of stuff fluffy bechloe domesticity! Please help me

I’m so sorry this took so long. Life is weird & i’ve randomly been struck with like an anti-creativity bolt of bullshit idk SORRY HERE U GO. (also didn’t notice that i added the word potato in front of the word bug like you had wanted in the prompt and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A VERY TIRED PERSON AND MUST’VE BEEN CRAVING POTATOES BYEEEEE

“Did you seriously just refer to your child as a potato bug?” Chloe called from the kitchen where she was doing the dishes to her wife who was laying on the floor waving their child up in the air and praying she didn’t puke all over face.

She held the almost year old in still in the air and looked over, “What? It’s cute!”

“Beca. What the hell even is a potato bug?”

Keep reading

It’s so weird how potato bugs are like… normal… but also not normal? Like everyone knows what they are you see one and you’re not like “what the FUCK kinda monstrosity is that shit” you’re like “yikes a potato bug” and leave it alone and go about your day

Like have u ever just looked at one they look like hell spawn upon this earth like some deity was like “you know what I’m gonna make??? Some sort of freakish amalgamation of all the worst bugs. And I’ll make it squishy gotta have the squish” like what the fuck