potato farmer

7
  • Egg Hampton - Publishing Moguls, Equestrians and One Dude That Went to Public School
  • Hampton Haven - 3000 Baby Bankers in 6 Rental Houses
  • Beach Hampton - Coal Heirs, Media Elites and Three Nice Asian Families That No One Knows How They Got Their Money
  • West Hampton - Retired Gallerists, Aspiring Vintners
  • Middle Hampton - Old Money and Nuclear Power
  • Hampaganasset - Republican Screenwriters, Embittered Sailboat Owners
  • Sag Hampton - Celebrity Intellectuals, Whaling Magnates, Eurotrash
  • Souther Hampton - Hedge Fund Managers
  • Hampton Bay - Potato Farmers and Billy Joel

Okay so as you all know I’m an extremely nit-picky kind of person who is very bothered if small details aren’t right. And there’s this thing I’ve noticed artists (both professionals and tumblr fanartists) do very often.

Somehow someone with this length of hair

Can tie their up in a clean ponytail or braid like this

You’ve literally made the hair longer.As someone who has grown out their hair from a pixie-cut to a shoulder-length bob, I know the struggles of tying back short hair. Hair this length can only maybe be tied up at the nape of the neck, and it would look something like this

Very messy with huge chunks of hair falling out and a ponytail so small it’s more like a bulldog’s tail. 

Also shorter bangs don’t magically stay put you tie your hair back. This is what actually happens

And like if you really want your hair out of your face you really have to do something about the bangs. They are the worst offenders when I’m trying to work on something or if it’s windy outside. Simply tying your hair back won’t cut it. And something that I often seen ignored on this site are these wonderful things

Headbands! I use them ALL the time. And there’s many great variations of it

Bandanas are a go-to for me if I want to keep my hair out of my face while looking nice. I’ve got them in 3 different colors.

Anyway, the shortest length you can tie your hair into a clean, mid-head ponytail is this length

This is my current length of hair. At this length you can also braid it, and if you want a french braid you can actually start at a shorter length. Braids at this length should look like this

Also I’ve been using somewhat female-looking hairstyles with this, but it’s the same for men. Which brings me to another topic…

MULLETS! 

Those are different because mullets don’t grow the same way as bobs. When I grew out my pixie-cut, I had an awkward mullet stage. Now I’m not exactly sure if it’s the same for people who intentionally want a mullet, but this is somewhat how it progressed for me

I actually cut it around stage 3 in this diagram, because a pixie-cut doesn’t naturally grow into a nice bob. That’s because the hair isn’t all at the same length. It’s like it has a lot of layers

I cut off the orange part in stage 3 because that was a thin, wispy part that really defined it as a mullet, and not just a bob with layers.

If you wanna tie up a mullet, this is the best you can do.

Most of the volume of the hair is on the top part, so the green and orange layers are thinner and just make a small messy ponytail. Unless you have a longer mullet like a biker, then you can do whatever you want. But the modern mullet seems to only be about this long.

I mean like, it’s all stylization and most art styles warp reality a little bit so you can really do whatever you want, but if you want to be more accurate in your drawings or even writing I would take this into account. 

 my little rant turned into a full-blown tutorial lol. I just wanted to share my struggles with tying short hair because it can really be a bitch

anonymous asked:

What is your most favourite, most loved, Lukasz's photo? Btw he will stay in Dortmud.

I’m at work at the moment so I shall look for a favourite photo when I get home and add it into this ask :) EDIT: Tbh I don’t really have a most loved, favourite photo, but this one is up there I would say, because look at it, *lonely island - i’m on a boat, plays in the background*

I know deep down Lukasz will most likely stay at Dortmund but I also have awful luck, so like I expect to buy a Piszczek jersey and then the next morning it will be announced ‘Lukasz Piszczek retires from football to become potato farmer’ ….

anonymous asked:

I saw ur post about tiaan watering ur crops and now I'm like... Farmer AU tiaan,, he's going to grow so many potatoes.

(The Post™)

I never posted this but

Here he is,,, My Boy,

He’s a Rich Boy™ though so his Father and Grandfather are probably like,,, Tiaan,, Do not Go Near the Plantation,, but?? You think that’s gonna stop him??? You Fools, you are merely prolonging the Inevitable,

N is right. There is not enough Potatomann in this fandom. To make up for that fact while recognizing I am elbows deep in too many fics as it is, have a few of the Potatomann hockey rpf fics that exist out there in the CP-verse.

Private Lessons
Tater comes to Jack for drawing lessons after losing yet another face-off. Jack decides nudes are the best practice. Explicit.

Dash
Alexei Mashkov was supposed to be in the same draft as Jack, but then Jack dropped out with no word and plenty of rumors. Now they’re on the same team and Alexei is caught between a small measure of awe at an early role model and the growing warmth in his chest when he catches the rare sight of hockey robot Jack Zimmermann’s real smile. In getting to know the new rookie, Alexei finds more of what brings out that smile hidden amongst secret memories, heartache and a torn history with a new hockey rival. Past Jarse. Trigger warnings: accidental overdose, alcohol use and abuse, unhealthy relationships, past drug use and abuse.

The Wooing of Jack Zimmermann
Georgia Martin really wants Jack Zimmermann to sign to the Falconers, so she sends out the big, friendly, Russian guns when he agrees to come to a practice. 5+1 fic. 5 times Georgia uses Tater in her attempts to woo unrestricted free agent Jack Zimmermann and the 1 time Georgia finds out Tater actually wooed Jack.

A Bushel of Love
Obligatory Farmer’s Market AU. Alexei Mashkov has been helping at his family’s potato stall at the Farmer’s Market for years now. When a new face starts showing up on a weekly basis, he takes note. When that new face happens to be his hockey crush, Jack Zimmermann, captain of the Providence Falconers, Alexei—dubbed Tater by some of his friends at the market—decides this is going to be his best summer yet…the moment he’s capable of not making himself sound like a starstruck idiot. (please don’t judge by the title. I hate coming up with titles.)

Harvest
Obligatory Farm AU. Jack Zimmermann has just been released from rehab and hockey and his father’s legacy are still touchy subjects. Deciding to remove himself from the sport as much as possible, Jack moves to Idaho and gets a job on a potato farm. Enter Alexei Mashkov, potato farmer and ex-hockey player—forced to retire early from a lasting injury by a bad hit. As the two get to know each other, they each find closure in their past, healing in their wounds and hope for the future.

Potato
Tater is a literal potato. A sentient potato. Crack. How is this not even the weirdest fic I’ve written?

The Price to Play
Jack Zimmermann is 18 years old and supposed to be on top of the world when his heart stops from an overdose. He wakes up in a Russian hospital four inches taller and in severe body pain. Alexei Mashkov is 17 and preparing for college when he is hit by a drunk driver and dies on the way to the hospital. He wakes up in a Canadian hospital with one of his hockey heroes calling him son. Jack finds himself freed of the shadow and weight of his family name and father’s legacy but with a body that has never known professional hockey. Alexei finds himself with the resources he never had growing up but with a shot reputation. When they both set the NHL as their goal, they end up on opposite paths careening towards each other until they finally collide in Providence, Rhode Island. Bodyswap AU.

Protect Your D-Man
Hockey’s rule #1 is to protect your goalie. No one had followed that rule more than Alexei Mashkov. But who protects the protector? When Mashkov goes down after a particularly brutal hit and doesn’t get back up, he ends up out for the season. It’s up to the brand new team Alternate, Jack Zimmermann, to help his friend and teammate get back up on his feet. Zimmermann never expected to get swept off his own while doing so.

this is probably an Idahoan Level: Meme fact about me but i genuinely love potatoes like theres so many yummy things you can make with them but also my dinner tonight is a couple small lightly salted potatoes and some pork and i’m 100% content
anyway this is one of the things i shamelessly project onto barris k thx bye

Read Blackbird, because it will make you laugh out loud

Were you not expecting that?   Yes, you know the fic I mean.  Blackbird, by Sixpences / @thetwoguineabook, the WW2 fic with spies and bombs and All The Crying. I should probably be telling you about how much it will make you cry, but I’m not (though it will, obviously). I really want to talk about how it will make you laugh.  

Earlier this week Thetwoguineabook answered an ask about her favourite lines from Blackbird.  And when I read it a) I thought YES, these are all so lovely, I suspect they’re all already highlighted in my Kindle and b) I laughed out loud at this:

“Oh good. Well done Yuuri, it took nine years but you fucked a communist into defecting. Congratulations. They should move you to counter-intelligence.”

I mean… seriously? Can anyone honestly tell me they read that line in the fic and didn’t laugh?  It’s genius.  And as I scrolled through my Kindle highlights it occurred to me just how much dry humour there is in this story.

So if you’re still crying about Blackbird, take a moment to laugh as well.  (If you haven’t read it you must, right now, and I will put a cut here so you can avoid possible spoilers for now).  Here are some of my favourite bits:

Keep reading

I’m gonna fucking choke this child I babysit asked if i was in the IRA because I said I was Irish and I was so shook because he’s only 6?? How do you know about the Irish republican army??? And I said no obviously and he fucking said “we’re you a potato farmer and they British took all your potato?? That’s a shame” while eating a fucking potato wedge whilst menacingly laughing ???