• It’s nobody’s fault. It is genetic. It just happened.
• Do not be too proud or stubborn to ask for help. You need it.
• Brush your teeth and wash your face (even just with a baby wipe) everyday if you’re able to do so. It makes you feel more human.
• Shower or bathe whenever you are able to. Good personal hygiene is good for your mental health.
• Some people will leave. You don’t need those people. Others will stay and they are wonderful human beings.
• You are not a burden. You are not useless. Do not be guilty. Please. Guilt will eat your insides.
• You have not lost who you are. You just now have to make adjustments to accommodate this new thing.
• Accept the fact that you have an illness. Being in denial will only make your mental and physical health worse.
• Clean pyjamas are a divine gift. As are clean bedding and blankets.
• Self care is entirely subjective. If you want to do yoga then do it, if you wanna sit and eat takeout in front of the TV in a squirtle onesie then that’s fine too. Whatever makes you feel good, or at least better.
• If you are tired then rest. Do not burn yourself out. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if you need a nap then you have one.
• Talk. Write. Sing. Paint. Draw. Dance. Do something to express your feelings. Don’t keep them inside. You’ll explode.
• Don’t worry if you can’t adjust right away. It takes time. A lot of time.
• Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unfortunately illness often has embarrassing symptoms or such. It isn’t your fault. People who allow you to feel embarrassed about such things are terrible people.
• Keep your sense of humour. Some days it’s the only thing that gets you through.
• There will be good days. Grab them with both hands and enjoy them. Savour them. Spend them doing things you love, things that you can’t do on bad days.
• Prepare yourself to the best of your ability. Like…always have a hospital weekend bag packed for emergencies, keep a bed day drawer or bag near to where you sleep, have food or snacks close by, always have a water bottle…
• Take your meds. Please. If you have a serious illness for the love of god don’t listen to the “big pharma” conspiracy theorists. You need your meds. They keep you alive. They enable you to function.
• Research your illness. Keep yourself informed. But don’t dwell on what might happen. Please don’t scare yourself.
• It’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to feel down. It’s perfectly natural. But try to be as positive as you can. For your own sake.
• Your own health comes first. It’s not selfishness it’s survival.
• Be kind to yourself.
• The bad days can be horrific but the good ones are beautiful, and so worth holding on for.
One of the most highly requested question I get and that i see is how to obtain money on a POT date. Well, I’m here to answer :)
1) How to ask for money on a POT date? You DON’T
One of the biggest complaints when talking to SD’s is that their biggest turn off is when a girl comes across as “too greedy” “too desperate” “only about money” Yes, I know. If he can’t pay to be a Sugar daddy then he shouldn’t be one… Yeah, but your stuck up princess attitude is why you’re not getting past texting a POT or a second date. But that’s okay! :) WE’RE going to fix this together. Knowledge is power and your SD’s have a lot of it. You can’t treat them like guys our age, they’re stupid but not AS stupid as we want them to be. They can see through your bullshit.
2) Men like to INVEST
If your SD wanted an escort, he’d go looking on a different site other than SA. My mother and I know your mother or some female in your life has told you not to give a man everything too fast because if they don’t feel like they’re investing into you whether it be time, money or whatever, what are you to them? Nothing, a fling. So BE the investment they want. As a Sugar Baby, it your job to give them the companionship as well as the physical things they desire. We bullshit feelings and make them feel WANTED. Make them WANT to spend money on you because you’re a diamond in the rough. So have a vanilla job, go to school and AT LEAST have goals. The more independent you seem, the more dependent you’ll make them on wanting to be with you and spend money on you.
3) Act 10 years older than you are but still be yourself.
That is one of my biggest compliments that I get. “You look 23 but you act 35.” This isn’t connotation to be old and boring, it’s a “you’re not going to be drama for me and I like that.” Men are visual creatures. They want the cute, sexy 20 something look but they don’t want to deal with the immaturity of your actual age. It’s all about body language. Don’t slouch, cross your legs, keep eye contact, smile often, don’t interrupt and DO NOT get out your phone!
4) Bring up your goals to insinuate financial need.
There’s a thing called subliminal hints to bring up financial needs. “Once I’m able to move out, I’ll hopefully be able to be your travel companion!” “I love people, hence why I’m in nursing school and I work on the weekends. I know being with you could really help me take the stress off.”
Not only are you stating that you’re diligent in your work ethic, but you’re making it about them. Most of these guys want to see you happy and know that they’re money is going to a good purpose towards your future, it makes them feel accomplished. This is why good SD’s will spoil you with gifts, they LOVE that affirmation that they did a good job.
5) Ask yourself, what kind of guys are your searching for?
In all personal opinion, I’ll go search for guys on SA myself. Financial requirement for me are MINIMUM $300,000. I’ve found that their allowances are usually a few grand. If they have SEX ANYWHERE on their profile, I swipe left. “I want someone kinky and sexy….bedroom…” EW GROSS It’s bad enough that I may have to be intimate with your nasty ass, don’t make me visualize suffering prior to meeting. If they’ve had a prior arrangement before, score. They usually know how this works.
A GOOD SD WILL COMPENSATE YOUR FOR YOUR TIME! Remember this. If you’re going on a free POT date, he’s not a good SD. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ASK FOR MONEY! <——Key.
If you have any more tips, leave them in the comments below and help each other! This is why I LOVE the sugar baby community. <3
Today we’re in a world of instant messaging, texting, “sliding into a DM” but have you ever thought about calling them, having a conversation? I usually don’t but for some reason I felt compelled to and boy, I’m sure glad I did.
I had been on and off texting this investment banker who claims he makes over a million; so of course my interest is sparked. Over text he asked my why I liked SA and I replied, “It’s a fun way of dating without the emotional attachment and drama involved. “ (I think that’s what I said, damn it. I deleted the whole conversation) Regardless, he was quite taken back by my answer. “You don’t like commitment?!” Oh, dear. This guy wants a relationship, not an arrangement. We stopped talking for a couple days but still interested, I gave him a call.
The investment banker told me why he liked SA. He had a girl who loved being his plus one at events, going to dinners and she didn’t want him to pay… blah, blah, blah BUT then his tone changed when it came to money.
“If I’m fucking paying for it, you can shut the fuck up” “I had girls ask me for $500 to go to dinner, I said, ‘Are you fucking high?”
Wow. Did he really just say that? S-A-L-T.
Ladies, this man is entitled and rude. He has ZERO respect for a woman whatsoever. There are SO many ways to state your opinion without being a dick. Nor does he want to pay up.
Here’s why calling is handy :
1) See if the conversation flows. If it doesn’t on the phone, it may not in person. You can avoid how boring he is prior to going out with him. If it does, it may make the date better and more relaxed. It’s a great way to show off your fun and bubbly personality.
2) Responses and Tones. I’m glad I called this guy because I realized prior to going out with him how he responded negatively. I got to avoid a horrible and pointless non paid date. Thank the heavens. His tone was HORRIBLE, nothing on text could have conveyed that.
3) Most SDs are impressed. “Wow, I was actually really impressed that you called. No one ever does anymore” Ladies, you’re dealing with men who never had cell phones or internet until now. They LIKE conversation and getting to know someone. If you can call and hold a conversation, you just proved to them that you are way beyond your years and mature for your age and they LOVE that.
What I wish able bodied and healthy people understood more is that service dogs aren’t to oogle at, they aren’t to pet, and they aren’t meant to be a distraction for people around them. Service dogs exist for one purpose only, and that is to assist their humans in whatever way is needed. Don’t go up to service dogs and try to pet them, don’t distract them with food, and just generally don’t do anything to interfere with the dog doing its job, unless the owner says it’s okay. This has been a PSA.
Summary: Human!Sides. In this world, whenever your soulmate writes on themselves, the ink shows up on your body as well. Many soulmates use this as a way to communicate and meet up with the one they are meant to be with, and, wanting to meet his love, Roman writes cute notes on himself everyday in hopes that one day the soulmate link will be found and his lover will view his words of love. He has always been excited about the prospect of his soulmate responding and living happily ever after. One morning he writes “Good morning, my love” on his forearm and checks back to see “No morning is good” written beneath it in a handwriting that is most definitely not his own.
I've never read PoT or SoaD, even though everyone else in the Phandom seems to. On a scale of 1-10, how sad are they?
Uhhhhh that’s a really hard question to answer as the writer. ^^;
Frustrating might be a better word rather than sad. PoT is an unrelenting exploration of just how wrong a smart person can be starting with a flawed ideology, and what it takes to change that mindset. Oh, and Danny suffers.
SoaD is an expansive exploration of how a single tragedy between two people can impact everyone around them. There’s a lot of anger, sadness and confusion, but also perseverance, hope, and a determination to set things right. Danny suffers some more, but so does everyone else.
I’ve gotta be honest, there’s a lot of angst, but there’s also a lot of family and friends coming together and picking each other up and helping each other move forward - there’s even a few epic action scenes scattered in there. It’s a long haul, but I think it’ll be worth it in the end.
Anyone want to weigh in and give a less subjective opinion?
I have a pretty good amount of stems, I have to weigh it. I also have quite a bit of butter. I don’t have a cheesecloth or a Pyrex bowl. Please can someone send me a recipe of how to do this correctly! I have tried before and failed, so I really want to get it right this time. Thank you so much in advance !! 💗💗💗