posting this was a bad idea

aaaaah, r y a n

  • shane looking like if he just rolled out of bed is me every day
  • tommy bahama
  • “i’ll paint the hell out of you, however i want” “you paint me in your free time?” shane’s face is EVERYTHING
  • “i’m actually upsate rigth now” “good”
  • yay for shane liking the thing, let’s see how much that lasts…
  • ryan’s face at 11:16 is the biggest mood ever
  • that’s my boy, dragging the goverment during his afternoon tea
  • shane’s expression is literally “hoe don’t do it”
  • shane: “OH MY GOD” + ryan is the cutest thing in the world wearing his tinfoil hat
  • “i just don’t want you to have any satisfaction” and “i’m not gonna give it to ya” it’s everything i ever wnated for some reason
  • i’m glad you do realize the hat was a bad idea, ryan
  • “the ship had no wings, jimmy” sounds like a passive-agressive post on tumblr as we call out some dumb shit people should know by now
  • (background music this ep is awesome, guys)
  • ryan is so happy punching skeptics in the face, let him have this one
  • RYAN’S HAIR AFTER HE TAKES OFF THE HAT,JDNBFIEDNFIR
  • boogaras win this case, yay! (like… this is b - 1 to s - every other episode, but i’ll take it)
  • ryan putting the tinfoil hat on shane’s head, djnfiednfirng
  • “leave my house, town dunce?” “town dunce? because i believe the things you believe in?” “OH SHIT!!! *loses his shit*” “alright, if you say so…” I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH
instagram

imsebastianstan Ok. Here’s an idea. Want to walk the red carpet of the @ITonyaMovie premiere with us? Share your best Bad Boy walk and post to Instagram with #ITonya for a chance to join us Dec. 5 in LA. This song is obviously one of my favorites but any song will do. Any walk will do. Let’s just see it. And then I’ll recreate it with you on Dec 5. In LA. Will get you there. Tag @itonyamovie #itonya p.s. @pwhauser and I are ready for you. Can’t wait. See in COMMENTS- for rules and regulations!!

wow @ tumblr for recommending thinspiration blogs because i follow a few blogs that post healthy meal ideas. fuck off. posting shit that makes tons of people feel bad about their bodies is disgusting and you all need to cut it out.

@low-functioning-witch asked for some elaboration on one of the headcanons in this post, so here’s my take on it! Contains fluffy Darkstache that can be read as either platonic or romantic.

TW: Guns, blood, and mention of panic attacks.

——————————————————————  

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dark knows this is a bad idea.

Aside from how foolish it was, he knows it’s dangerous too. Him and Wilford are grown men with supernatural powers and unstable psyches, not children play fighting at a sleepover. It was very likely that any situation involving violence – even of the harmless kind – could escalate and end with someone getting hurt.

But even knowing that, Dark couldn’t help himself. Because Wilford just had to pluck the last piece of popcorn from Dark’s fingers and eat it. Because Wilford had this shit-eating grin on his face that Dark hated and loved. And because the smug bastard said, “Ah, victory tastes so sweet~”

Dark has no choice; he had to get payback.

Wilford’s only warning was his friend’s smirk before the man hit him in the face with a soft black pillow. 

Dark heard Wilford’s muffled yelp and grinned. “Revenge tastes even sweeter,” he shot back.

Wilford shoved the pillow away, scowling at Dark before grinning too. “Well, two can play at that puzzle.”

“It’s game, Wil –” Dark cut himself off when Wilford grabbed two pillows and launched them in his direction. Dark ducked and both hit the wall, but there was no time to pause. Immediately, more pink pillows appeared (damn Wilford’s weird powers) and Wilford grabbed them. Dark slid off the bed for cover, gathering an arsenal of his own.

The next few minutes were chaos. Dark and Wilford kept chucking pillows at each other, not even caring if they hit their mark. Both men were laughing and trading witty comebacks.

“Feel the power of Wilford Warfstache!” Wilford yelled, tossing a bunch of pillows in Dark’s direction. Dark laughed and blocked them with his arms, quickly flinging a pillow Wilford’s way and laughing even more when it hit his face. He was so busy laughing he got a pillow to the face in return.

“You can’t hide forever, Darky!” Wilford chimed, now holding a huge pillow in his hands. 

Dark snickered from below. 

There was just enough room under the bed for him to fit. He planned to launch a sneak attack, eager to catch his friend off guard and win their unofficial fight.

Wilford frowned. Dark’s silence meant he was planning something and, sure enough, he heard someone jostle his things under the bed. Wilford grinned maniacally. 

Oh, this would be good.

Wilford grabbed a random pillow, ready to whip Dark in the face with it. In his excitement, he didn’t notice the sudden weight in his hands. And the distinct shape of a gun poking through the pillow case.

As Dark sprang up to surprise him, Wilford struck.

Crack!

Wait…that didn’t sound right.

“Fuck!” Dark hissed, grabbing his nose. Wilford stopped. When he saw the blood, he dropped the gun-hiding pillow on the bed.

“Oh, shit,” he stammered, “Dark, I’m sorry! Are you – “ Wilford saw the blood streaming down from Dark’s nose. Dark was trying to use his shirt to stop the bleeding, but it wasn’t much help. His nose was clearly broken.

Panic pierced Wilford like a bullet.

“Dark, I’m sorry, it was an accident, it was – “ Dark held up a finger. Quiet. Wilford shut up, still hovering over Dark on the bed.

“It’s fine, Wil,” Dark told him. “I can easily fix it.” He paused uncertainly. “You might want to look away though.” Wilford wasn’t sure what that meant, but closed his eyes anyways.

He heard another sharp crack and a tiny pained groan. Wilford kept his eyes closed. “Okay, you can look now,” Dark said.

When Wilford looked, his jaw dropped. The blood was still on Dark’s shirt and smeared on his face, but his nose looked fine. It was impressive, if not very disturbing.

No, impressive, Wilford told himself. There was no reason to be disturbed. “Wow,” he said aloud, “it’s like it never happened at all!”

Dark’s smile was bittersweet. “Exactly,” he agreed, “but the pain is still there…among other things.” He looked down at his shirt and grimaced. “I’m going to go change and wash up – “

“Are you coming back,” Wilford cut in.

Dark nodded to his relief. “Just remind me to check your pillows before we do this again.” He sounded like a parent scolding their child, but Wilford didn’t comment on it.

‘Before we do this again.’ So he didn’t mess up horribly and Dark wasn’t mad at him. That’s good. He’d hate to be banned from another fun activity because of his own carelessness.

——————————————————————

Later that night, Wilford retold the story to the other egos. But this time, it was more like a funny story than a terrible accident that almost gave him a panic attack. Dark was chuckling as he spoke, so Wilford took that to be a good sign.

“So there I am thinking ‘Well, if good ol’ Darky thinks he’s gonna get the drop on me, he’s got another thing comin’!’” Wilford waves his hands for emphasis.

“And so I grab another pillow and just as he pops up –” here he mimics the action, “I whip that weasel in the face!”

Most of the egos laughed at that. It wasn’t often Dark was caught off guard, so even imagining it was just funny. Dark cleared his throat and added, “Except he ended up pistol whipping me since there was a gun in that pillow.”

Dr. Iplier was the first to react. His eyebrows shot up as he asked, “And you didn’t receive any injuries?”

“Oh, he did,” Wilford chimed in, “I broke his nose, but he fixed it by himself! Darky’s got some incredible powers.”

The doctor ego didn’t seem reassured, but said nothing else. One of the Jims spoke up too and said, “But that’s dangerous! Willy, your shooty shouldn’t be where you sleep.”

Wilford huffed. “It has to be! Otherwise what’ll I do when an intruder breaks in and tries to steal my precious guns?”

Bing looked confused. “But then couldn’t they just steal the one in your –”

“Intruders aren’t the issue,” Dark cut in, raising his voice. “The problem is that it’s hard to sleep when feeling unprotected, hence the guns.” Wilford nodded, glad that someone else understood.

Jim still looked concerned. “That’s still bad.”

Wilford huffed. “Well, we’re not exactly pure little angels like you, Jim.”

Jim smiled at the compliment, totally missing the sarcasm.

——————————————————————

It was only early in the morning, after waking from another nightmare, that Wilford noticed it. On the pillow with his gun in it there was the word “Shooty” written in black Sharpie. Every other pillow said “Not Shooty” in the same black ink.

Wilford blinked. He figured it was Jim who did it – no one else called guns ‘shooty’ – and was more flattered than offended. If anything, it was kind of cute.

When Dark woke up next to him, Wilford pointed it out. “Look, Dark, Jim cares about you!” He figured Dark might complain about how ugly the pillows looked now, or maybe he’d just sigh and accept it.

But Dark’s jaw just dropped.

“How the hell did he get in here?!”

me sat back in my leather arm chair of bad writing: post nv idea….. ace get glassed for being recognised as legion. similar scarring to father as a result!!!

anonymous asked:

Seeing as you also post about your cats can I ask have you been scratched so bad it left a scar? Or are your cats declawed

=D I have lots of little scratches. One on my upper arm from when a past cat launched off to escape meeting my ex (haha, big red flag number one…). One under my eye from when I was laying down and said ex was tormenting another past cat who already didn’t like being held and decided it’d be a good idea to hand her to me on her back (anytime I made progress with her being okay with being held, he ruined it by holding her way too long). Couple on my chest from Lucifer launching off. And a bunch on both arms and legs from cats launching off. And a few on my hands from when someone misjudges where the toy is. I love my babies, and proudly wear my battle scars.

I’m against declawing big time. If your furniture is that important, then don’t have an animal.

Heroes of Olympus as popular text posts
  • Percy: ''Fun drinking game: Take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated.''
  • Annabeth: ''Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut the fuck up even when they aren’t talking?''
  • Jason: ''If you ever feel bad about yourself remember that one time i didn’t understand that my waiter was just trying to give me my change so i fist bumped him instead ''
  • Piper: ''People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. two sentences in and everyone’s already shouting “what the fuck that’s illegal” or “you can’t do that” let me talk dear god''
  • Leo: ''Back by unpopular demand: me''
  • Hazel: ''I watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”''
  • Frank: ''Listen, I’m a nice person so if I’m a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.''
  • Nico: ''Gayer than intended: an autobiography''
  • Reyna: ''Girls aren’t playing hard to get… They don’t want you.''

did you know that as a kid i once drew final fantasy 7 x crash bandicoot fanart?

since both are being remastered, this abomination keeps me awake at night

Water signs: I want to spend hours together talking about nothing

Air signs: I want to spend hours together talking about everything

Amigos, just because I don’t post 99% of the prompt submissions doesn’t mean your idea is bad. Me not publishing your prompt doesn’t say shit about the quality of your idea. Your ideas are valuable. Never forget that.

I am honestly living for interactions between dodie and Phil 💛