posting again because i thought i messed up when i actually didn't

anonymous asked:

Oh...I didn't know you aren't a singer! Reading your posts, I thought that you are. May I ask what your background is in then? I really enjoy your vocal posts. I am a die hard Louie and love his voice. That's what drew me into the fandom. Looking up stuff about his voice on youtube that eventually led me here. It's so unique, if not always on pitch. He seemed more loose and free earlier, even though he had no/less solos. I'm so angry that they shot his confidence down but am thrilled he has +

+ regained (some of) it back with project no control and now his solo effort. I feel his voice conveys so much emotion (sorry niall and liam. I did say I’m a louie!). Maybe because I am always listening more closely because his parts are small. IWTWYAS is so dreamy. LYG draws me in with that yearning and tension. I like watching videos after Z left and he sings almost all of LBD. I like how you can tell when he isn’t singing in the chorus because he really does carry many of them. In DFWYB
++ he doesn’t sing all the words in the chorus and you know. Same with RTR. “Cuz I wanna be” but he doesn’t sing free and I can tell. Of course all the studio versions are produced in a way that it’s harry or a lot of oohs and aahs instead of harmonies (I’m looking at you night changes!). Anyhow, sorry for the long post. It was meant to be about you and what you studied or do and I made it all about louis. Can you tell my love for him? Feel free to add on or tell me to bugger off.

Hi anon,

What a sweet and heartfelt fan message. I can tell your love for Louis, and I completely sympathize with the status he has in your heart.

You’re right, Louis’s voice is unique in its ability to convey so many genuine emotions simultaneously. Take “Just Hold On,” our only Louis solo song so far. The opening always, always takes me by surprise, no matter how many times I hear it, by its raw and honest yearning, its wistfulness. And by the time he sings, “What do you do when a chapter ends/ Do you close your book, and never read it again?”, I’m a mess. Yet he managed to convey a sense of hope and reassurance, too. The song is a musical embodiment of his courage when he sang at the X Factor performance.

The fact that fans can show him some love with Project No Control and Project Home (kudos to those who organized these projects), and give him any amount of confidence, makes me proud to be in this fandom. It’s the only fandom I know where fans consistently and persistently put in enormous effort to raise money for charitable causes, mirroring the enormous generosity of the band members. Even at their young ages, they have shown such genuine love toward charities. Louis, in particular, could be millions of dollars more wealthy if he wants to, but he has given so much, not only money but personal time and effort.

All the songs you mentioned have uniquely Louis contributions. The scratchy solos in “I Want to Write You a Song” reminds me of those nights on OTRA when the boys would perform even if they had a cold, shouting themselves hoarse. He does carry a lot of 1D choruses. His voice provides a unique contrast and “thickness” (as Harry said) to the 1D sound. He sings a lot of second verses because it’s the position in a pop song that needs special attention and interest. And of course, the iconic Louis solo at the end of “Something Great” gives meaning to the song title. The way his voice contrasts with Harry’s voice is a duo made in heaven– it has the beautiful contrast of two distinct textures, like “Leather and Lace” (the Stevie Nicks/ Don Henley song), but his harmonized chorus with Liam in “If I Could Fly” is also something incredibly beautiful.

And that’s not to mention his songwriting ability. We don’t talk much about “Love You Goodbye,” but Louis loves this song, and I really like it, too. It’s just a great pop song in the tradition of 1970’s pop ballads. And I like Louis’s solo, not just for the acrobatics of the octave leap, but also because he sings with the clipped vowels that reflect his Yorkshire accent. It adds personality to the song.

I’ve been involved in music most of my life, in performance and theory. I was a student in conservatory. I actually didn’t like One Direction’s music until Four, because of my bias against their boy band image, and because it was “too young” for me. I would hear “What Makes You Beautiful” on the radio and sneer at the transparent pandering to their demographic. The music video confirmed that bias.

Then I heard “Night Changes,” and I thought, no way is this One Direction. It sounded like an actual acoustic, folk-influenced ballad. The harmonies were a little bit bluesy and I loved that. And I really loved their voices, especially Harry’s and Zayn’s (though I couldn’t identify them at the time– I didn’t even know how many people were in the band). Then I heard “Fool’s Gold,” and I watched a “One Direction Funny Moments” video. The boys were different from what I expected. They weren’t “acting” cute. They were genuine and snarky and mischievous and uninhibited, and their voices were untrained but naturally beautiful. After I watched @freddieismyqueen’s videos on Larry Stylinson for two nights straight, until 2 AM each night, I thought, come on. There’s no way this is true. This is crazy. When I heard the song “Once in a Lifetime,” and the way Louis and Harry sang their verses, I thought, if Larry is true, it’s the most unbelievable, but also the most pure and beautiful love.

So I started evaluating evidence for myself, reading posts everywhere online. I followed the Occam’s Razor test of trying to fit evidence into the least convoluted explanation. I actually wasn’t convinced about Larry for ages. Then I sat at a One Direction concert and heard Harry sing, with my own ears, “And all his little things.” And RBB/SBB. What possible reason was there for all of the education about the history of closeted entertainers, and Stonewall, and the direct, unsubtle tie-ins with band members, particularly Harry and Louis?

But putting Larry aside, there’s no question in my mind that the Louis we see today has been through serious psychological trauma in the process of surviving One Direction’s contracts. Entertainment has notoriously open-ended legal arrangements that can take years to unwind– sometimes up to a decade. The fact is, we as fans can be impatient, but we don’t really know what’s going on, and the pace of resolution can be very, very slow. Just like the sale of majority shares of Syco to Sony– it took almost a year after the fact for the story to come out.

I love the passion of Louies. He really deserves the best fans. I don’t know about other people, but I will be here for as long as it takes, through all the smears, through all the falsehoods tabloids “report” about him. I know who he is. He has shown again and again who he is under duress. In the most challenging circumstances, he stands for those being bullied, he defends those who need to be defended, he is strong and kind, he puts himself in vulnerable positions to protect those he loves, and even those he doesn’t love– because of his ethics and courage.

Thank you for supporting him, anon. You picked a good person to love.

Sibylline Song

(Alright, here it is. The unedited, unfinished mer!Stiles fic. Warnings include: assholes, angst, violence, people being specist, and references to canon deaths.)

____________


Their journey begins with the usual amount of pomp and ceremony expected for a trade ship.

It’s the Triskelion’s forty second voyage from the colder, northern channels of Bæyan to the warm waters of Coca-Machu, and the crew means to make it a good one. Nothing too dangerous—they’re going to actually try trading this time—and everything will go smoothly. Even the weather has been fair to them since they left Port Duke with the morning tide. Many of the crew had waved goodbye to the few friends they’d made over the years, and perhaps a few enemies too. Others were more than glad to leave the port as quickly as they did.


“Are you still moping?”

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anonymous asked:

Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said: ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o<-<

Anon said: Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

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anonymous asked:

Do you think Cas will get a happy ending? I used to be Cas' ending would be a choosing to be human thing but now I don't know. Not just the whole Billie thing but also Cas was involved in killing a child. There a certain things you just dont came back from and certain things show's won't have their main heroes do even in a fantasy setting -the protag can kill but he wont cheat, rape, or harm a child usually for example. :(

I didn’t feel like the episode was trying to tell us, Cas killed a kid and now he’s terrible, but instead, Cas feels responsible for the death of the kid, and he feels terrible, which really changes this from my perspective.

Dean killed a kid and it’s not routinely dragged out by the show to prove he shouldn’t be happy. I’m sure it’s tormenting him but narratively, that all disappeared when he got the Mark off into a sort of blob of generic terrible things he did under the Mark guilt, which wasn’t really that well explored either. At this point I’m sure they’re all writing it off as under mind control as a technicality, and not focusing on it like that.*

Sam drank the blood of a screaming nurse, killing her (a valued member of society with kind of a moral event horizon similar to killing children when it comes to listing innocents) - off screen, but it was Sam’s over-the-edge act that demonised HIS soul for all of 10 minutes at the end of season 4, and he only needed a season to repent for it all and stop Lucifer, and again, Cindy is pretty much never mentioned again. 


*Note: not interested in starting the debate about how culpable Dean is for the stuff under the Mark (or I guess Sam under demon blood and Ruby’s manipulations); just commenting on the way the show presented it. It’s probably under the same bracket as Sam trying to murder Bobby in 6x11. Everyone can feel guilty and horrible but for the sake of core characterisation it wasn’t their fault enough to drag them under with it, and in 3 episodes time they seem mostly back to normal :P


Anyway. Both of these actions were objectively worse and more terrible and actively detrimental to Sam and Dean’s moral fibre and our perceptions of them than anything they showed with Cas. I’m not just defending Cas because, idk, I like him more than Sam and Dean; I don’t hate either of them for these things (and if I like Cas more it’s unrelated :P) 

This episode was very careful to establish a villain who would evilly want to kill a child because he’s just plain awful (Ishim) and to contrast Cas to him repeatedly as a dark mirror to Cas’s character, AND use his actions of lying to them to make them enact orders that were emphatically described as part of the angel’s moral code, to trick the rest of the angels into being complicit in this murder. 

Even when Cas thought it was a nephilim and not a human child, this was his immediate reaction to the nephilim being killed - a being that he thought was an abomination and that should be destroyed by all the laws he upheld:

He flinches at the sound of a young girl screaming, despite all of that, there’s a part of him even then that’s not entirely okay with it - that same part of him that’s always been terrible at following orders and of feeling sympathetic or protective of the innocent and defenceless, which is his core goodness that makes him such a great character. 

This scene also directly implies that Cas murdered who knows how many babies:

NAOMI
Not always, angel. There was that day, back in Egypt, not so long ago, where we slew every first-born infant whose door wasn’t splashed with lamb’s blood. And that was just PR.

CASTIEL
Well, I wasn’t there.

NAOMI
Oh, you were there. You just don’t remember it.

And the implication was that he resisted and rebelled there, and maybe even was controlled to do it just like Naomi forcing Cas to attack Dean in the crypt, as by that point it was established she could control his actions completely and use him to kill whoever she wanted (except Dean that one time - but the “first borns” thing is interesting to me anyway for the comparison). 

All of this is meant to horrify us but I don’t think it’s meant to show Cas has broken morality - instead it highlights that he has GOOD morality because of how he reacts to these evil actions and situations, and the fact both times it’s less that he’s made evil choices but that he never had a choice. He may not have had “true” free will until 4x22 when he finally chooses to rebel against heaven and no longer heed their orders, and to decide for himself what is right or not. Obviously killing Lily’s kid came way before that, so we have to weigh how Cas’s character evolved over season 4, the way it was shown Heaven manipulated out dissent and rebellion (Anna tells us rebellious angels will be killed) and gives us the sort of emotional backstory on what Cas would have been up against 100 years ago, following orders and believing completely in Heaven because what other choice did he have? The fact his orders in this case were a lie isn’t even a part of this line of thought - if it HAD been a nephilim, this is how Cas reacted and felt, and what he was up against convincing him he had to do it while he was basically in a state where he was unable to pretty much THINK dissent or more than vague uncertain doubts he didn’t give voice to until 4x07 (100 years later :P). Throw in their absolute and unquestionable law that nephilim are evil and must be killed, and of course the Cas we saw there is following these orders and could have seemed even pleased or satisfied that the child was killed, but EVEN SO, he flinched.

BUT looking at the wider picture, even that they were lied to on top of that somewhat diminished responsibility, I’d agree blood is still on their hands because they helped, but their actual intent to murder is completely diminished by Ishim’s actions because they didn’t know it was an innocent human child and obviously would not have gone along with it if they knew. As the only angel who survived to find out what Ishim had really done, Cas isn’t just in a place to question his orders and assumptions about it being fine to murder Nephilim on principle, but to feel betrayed, manipulated and coerced into the murder of Lily’s kid - obviously this is on a personal level away from how Cas actually talks to Lily about what happened. All he can do THERE is express how sorry he is and to admit her right to be avenged if she wants to, because of course whatever he FEELS about it, his past actions still helped lead to her child’s murder. 

This episode definitely gave a lot of room to ethically exonerate Cas of everything except what will be his conflict with the current nephilim plot - the duty/obligation/moral code from Heaven which dictates that they must be destroyed. And even that, he has to admit he’s now gained enough insight that even seeing it as a separate thing from what happened with Lily’s kid (since she wasn’t a nephilim, the ethical lesson about murder being bad technically doesn’t apply to actual nephilim) he WOULD feel some hesitation now, so the episode has even begun to shake his faith in that, even setting aside that tiny hint that our Cas has always been in there somewhere even when following these orders seemingly blindly. He was the angel who doubted.

I mean, there’s still a long and dodgy road to go about wtf the show will do with Lucifer’s baby, but this is a good sign that they’re edging away from killing it on principle, and it’s Cas’s principle that’s dictating that. So he hasn’t actually reached the same crossroads as Sam and Dean did when they murdered innocents, and he’s already had a strong lesson in questioning his assumptions, and what to do about nephilim. I think unless he decides to do it anyway, at this point your fears about him being unredeemable aren’t a problem yet at all.

At the moment I don’t feel Cas is in any moral danger in this way compared to Sam and Dean’s various bad moral slides, because he started in the uncompromising place, in 12x08 and flashback!Cas whose lines were pretty much all enforcing the idea from Heaven that nephilim are bad and need to be killed and so on, and now by the end of 12x10 this has been at least chipped at a little so far. I have some hope now that Cas will make the right choice, by whatever standards the show works on (this whole thing is really ethically messed up when it comes to the Lucifer baby stuff so idk how much that will relate to what fans think the right choice will be and people with different opinions in general will react differently to what they do, I guess.) But at least by the show’s apparent rules for the characters and whether they’re being presented as good, bad, redeemable, in danger of moral lapse, they’re apparently trying to show us Cas changing and learning and hoping to find another way to deal with it than the old, absolute rule of Heaven he was trying to enforce. Which is all a positive sign that he WON’T go down a bad road and kill the kid and end up in this place where it affects him in the long run…

I hope :P 

I don’t know if Cas will get a happy ending or not because they’re really messing around filling time on a show they know at the moment they can write as if it will never end, but Cas has clear goals set out for happiness and belonging and a sense of home, as well as obstacles to stop him getting there, settling in, and then being in a place where he’s achieved all his goals before the end, and then obviously has to have terrible stuff happen to him to take it away again because that’s not how things work in stories >.> So these delays on Cas getting what he wants are good because obviously they want to hold something back for him to aim at.

But I definitely don’t think Cas has been damaged beyond the point of ethical redemption or deservedness of a happy ending.


I DID in my watching notes, when Ishim was talking about tearing out Lily’s heart because she broke his, and went for her daughter, immediately link it to when by Cas’s POV on being heartbroken by his family turning on him and refusing to help/believe in him/trust him in 6x20, he then goes off and breaks Sam’s wall to slow up Dean from stopping him. Obviously that’s a really exaggerated bad example I just made with a lot of character slander to compare what Cas was doing to what Ishim did. BUT it was his one big, truly “unforgivable” action in the narrative. 

Dean acts as the shows moral compass, and often/mostly has the final say on ethical issues like this, determining who is good and bad (and if he’s wrong, it’s on his shoulders to deal with that - 7x03 was the last episode I watched this week working through the show with my mum, and of course the next episode after that is the judgement one where Dean’s heart is weighed, and blah blah off track here but Dean’s moral judgement is really important on the show). DEAN FORGIVES CAS for hurting Sam. It’s an almost miraculous recovery because to Dean hurting Sam is just… the absolute worst thing you can do. Dean is otherwise the sort of person who would advocate shooting their own grandfather for betrayal, but after Cas does it and inflicts the worst damage on Sam we’ve seen anyone go through in the whole show… He lets Cas back in and accepts his attempts to redeem himself. Cas’s season 7 redemption is one of the most important stories on the show for him or Dean or even Sam when it comes to personal relationships… I like to just randomly watch Cas’s season 7 episodes and bawl at the screen :P 

Anyway, Cas went right over the moral event horizon in 6x22, but he was brought back already, years ago, and like Sam jumping into the cage to atone for season 4, has been morally recovered, in a way, for a very long time. He still feels some guilt for it but the narrative (which blurs with Dean’s opinion :P) has forgiven him. Sam and Dean are initially horrified by Cas’s story in the middle of the episode, but don’t reject him and the final conversation is positive, with them discussing that change and hoping for a change with their next decisions.


(still not sure what’s up with Dean and the Mark and all that, but as I said… rug sweeping :P But yeah, Dean is the character always talking about how they go down swinging and doesn’t see a happy end, and I do think he doesn’t think he deserves one, just that exploring any of the reasons why has all been suppressed by him, so it’s not being dealt with >.> He’s probably got a list of reasons dating back to when he was four years old. Whether HE gets the happy ending is something they’ve been poking at for years, and when that starts getting properly addressed, we’ll know the show is nearly over :P)

Anonymous said: THOUGHTS ON 2JAES EXTREMELY CLOSE INTERVIEW FROM HARD CARRY!!!

Hello, my darling anons!

I know I literally requested these asks in my tags, BUT THANK YOU FOR OBLIGING ME SO BEAUTIFULLY. I’m a bit late to the game when it comes to talking about 2jae’s Extremely Close Interview because I haven’t had much time to keep up with GOT7 lately, and I know that the wonderful @huggableyoungjae already talked about it so beautifully, but I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS MOMENT AS WELL BECAUSE:

Originally posted by jypnior

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anonymous asked:

IwaOi after a drunk break up call please Mom and/or Dad!! 😘😘

Drunken reasoning is rambling and repetitive and very easy to replicate when tired, so hopefully this is still coherent! - Admin Dad


The pounding in Oikawa’s head felt louder than the construction crew working across the street from his apartment building. He hadn’t gone that hard on a night out in months, not since—

The bitter sting of vodka laced stomach bile hit him in time with the memory. He hadn’t gone that hard since he was with Iwaizumi for their one-year anniversary. How long would they have been going out now if things hadn’t ended?  Nineteen, maybe 20 months? Just shy of two years, for sure. What was the two-year anniversary, china? Or maybe it was cotton.

If it was porcelain, Oikawa was on the right track. He’d be heaving in the bathroom for a good couple of hours before he could think about being human again.

It’d been three weeks since he last saw Iwaizumi. Three weeks since he heard the six worst words he could ever imagine.

I think we should break up.

Of course things were going to be difficult for them now that Oikawa had been drafted for the Brazilian National Team. But if anyone could make long distance work, it was Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They were meant to be together, always, Oikawa knew that since he was five years old. No matter where he went, Iwaizumi would be with him always on his mind and in his every action. Iwaizumi had shaped him irreparably: Oikawa’s conscious sounded more like Iwaizumi than his own voice.

But Iwaizumi saw it differently. He saw it as another obstacle pulling them apart, another sign that they shouldn’t be together. He made some logical points, about the time difference, about Oikawa’s career, about his own. But throughout his argument he kept reassuring Oikawa that he cared about him, that he truly loved him—and that just made it worse.

Now that the season was over, Oikawa’s current teammates had decided to take him out to celebrate their time together before sending Oikawa off across the Pacific in the fall. He hadn’t told them about his break up with Iwaizumi. After being asked for the fourth time where his doting boyfriend was, Oikawa decided to busy his mouth with shots instead of excuses.

Hopefully he didn’t do anything too embarrassing. He did not need a repeat of Hanamaki’s twentieth birthday party hanging over his head.

Eventually, Oikawa regained the ability to stand and tottered into the kitchen to assemble the best hangover breakfast he could muster. On the way back to his bedroom he heard the long, steady vibrations of his phone buzzing against his mattress. He fumbled with the phone and food, spilling a little bit of cup noodle broth in the process and checked his recent notifications.

Six missed calls. One from his manager, one from the teammate he was pretty sure drove him home the night before, and four from Iwaizumi.

Oikawa’s stomach dropped. Frantically he checked his call history, and sure enough at 3:38 am he saw a seven-minute outgoing call to Iwaizumi.

Yep, he’d really outdone himself since Makki’s twentieth.

The phone buzzed to life in his hands and Iwaizumi’s name lit up on the screen. Hesitantly, Oikawa answered the call and raised the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” His voice sounded strangled and thin.

“So you’re finally up.” The husky voice filled Oikawa with an instinctive warmth that was instantly betrayed by sharp sadness. “You sound like shit.”

“Thanks, I feel even better,” Oikawa snapped.

“Did you drink enough water?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a lie.” Iwaizumi sighed. “Did you take any ibuprofen before bed?”

“No.”

“You always did suck at taking care of yourself after heavy drinking.”

The conversation felt too comfortable, too soothing. Oikawa had to change the subject before he forgot things were neither comfortable nor soothing at all, and sure as hell not pleasant enough for morning banter.  

“What do you want, Iwa-chan?”

“I’m guessing you don’t remember much from last night.”

Oikawa winced. “It’s a little spotty.”

“You wanna meet at the café by Saiin park? I’ll buy you a better hangover breakfast than whatever nightmare concoction you’ve come up with, I’m sure.”

“You want to meet up?”

There was a slight pause. “We should talk about this in person.”

Oikawa felt the need to vomit again for a reason not directly related to alcohol, if not indirectly as a result of his inebriated actions. Whatever he said the night before, it was enough to break the ice fortress of post-break up Iwaizumi: a feat of monumental proportions, a colossal catastrophe for the ages. A big fuck-up.

Iwaizumi was waiting inside the café at the agreed upon time. He looked nice, casually and effortlessly put together. Oikawa looked like he’d been coughed up by a sick cat.

“Yikes.” Iwaizumi never minced words.

Oikawa glared at him from behind his glasses. “It was a rough night, okay?”

“I bet.” Iwaizumi looked away, scratching the back of his head. “I already ordered for us, so, if you want to, uh, sit.”

Iwaizumi rarely faltered. If Oikawa wasn’t nervous before, he’d discovered a new plane of anxiety now. He slid into the booth by the window and waited for Iwaizumi to do the same.

There wasn’t enough time for awkward silence. Iwaizumi pulled out his phone and set it on the table between them.

“I’m going to cut to the chase. You left me a voicemail last night and I think we need to talk, so, I’m going to play it now so you remember what you said.”

Oikawa was half paralyzed by fear. He nodded as Iwaizumi opened his voicemail and played the message.

Hey… hey, Iwaaa-chaaaann wake—no! No, you aren’t Iwa-chan now, no! You- you’re just- you’re that guy, you’re just a person. And you know I don’t want you to be a person, I don’t, I want you to be Iwa-chan! You’ve always been—hic!–Iwa-chan for forever and you can’t just take that away from me because you’re scared. That’s all it is is that you’re scared and I’m scared too because maybe you won’t be Iwa-chan anymore and I don’t want that… You…Iwa-chan means so much to me and you always have and I’ve always had you and now I don’t and now it’s like… I wish I never had you. If I never had you then I wouldn’t miss you and then I couldn’t lose you… And I remember you and I don’t want… I don’t want to remember you it just makes it hard Iwa-chan… You just go away but Iwa-chan doesn’t just go away, Iwa-chan can’t just go away, because he’s here, he’s always been here and I just—

Iwaizumi paused the recording abruptly. Oikawa couldn’t move, at some point he’d started holding his breath. It was worse than he imagined. Worse than Makki’s twentieth.

“Did you mean that?”

Oikawa blinked, unsure of how to use his voice.

Iwaizumi inhaled sharply, clenching his fists. “Did you really mean that? Do you really wish you never had me?”

Even if he knew what to say, Oikawa couldn’t make a sound. He tried moving his mouth, but his face had gone numb. He was pathetic. He was a pathetic, vulnerable mess.

“Do you regret it?” Iwaizumi’s voice grew louder, people started to stare. “Do you regret knowing me? Not just our romantic relationship, but our entire friendship?”

Oikawa moved his lips to form the word ‘no,’ but it still wouldn’t come out. Iwaizumi finally looked up at him. Oikawa hadn’t noticed he was staring at the table this whole time, but once their eyes met he knew why.

Iwaizumi was crying. Oikawa had seen him cry before, when they were children, teenagers, and adults. Iwaizumi was strong but he wasn’t made of stone. But this was the first time he saw Iwaizumi crying like this. Iwaizumi’s tears didn’t look like something he was feeling alone; they looked like Oikawa’s.

Oikawa finally managed a whisper. “I don’t.”

“Then why would you say that to me, just to hurt me?”

“No, I wouldn’t. I just meant… it would be easier to get over you if we didn’t have so much… I guess.” The words felt too weak leaving Oikawa’s mouth.

“So you’d rather have nothing?!” Instead of staring, now people were trying desperately to ignore the commotion.

“It’s just…” Oikawa struggled feeling out the words. “It’s more like, you’re everything to me, Iwa-chan, and everything we have is what you mean to me… so I guess not having this part of you, the romantic part of you, just… takes it all away. Because I’ve loved you forever.”

Iwaizumi pinched his eyes shut. He reached across the table and found Oikawa’s hands, gripping them tight in his own.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“What—“

“I don’t want you to go to Brazil and I’m here watching you drift away from me. I don’t want to just lose part of you either.”

Oikawa’s whole body started trembling. “Then why did you—“

“I thought it would be easier to just end all of it.” Iwaizumi opened his eyes and let out a small laugh. “But that was pretty dumbass level thinking, wasn’t it?”

“Drunken babbling buffoon level thinking,” Oikawa corrected him, laughing a little himself. His body started to feel lighter, warmer. A wave of relief swept over his shoulders, like he’d been holding them tense and finally relaxed.

Iwaizumi ran his thumbs over Oikawa’s knuckles, sweeping back and forth across them so lightly, as if they were made of glass.

“Maybe we could talk about things on a sober and rational level of thinking… maybe some ‘what if’ scenarios?”

Oikawa smiled as the waiter arrived in time with his go-to hangover food.

“No ‘what if’s Iwa-chan. Planning logistics.”

8-Bit

Hey @fluffy-klance, I’m your secret santa for the Voltron gift exchange! This was loads of fun to write, so sorry it took so long! Happy Holidays! ( @voltron-ss )

Characters: Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge

Ships: Klance, Shatt (mentioned)


Keith never wanted to go to the arcade.

All he’d wanted to do on his day off was to play some video games, maybe watch a movie- heck, even just lay around and procrastinate the inevitable mountain of college application essays. But no.

Pidge, of course, had to go to the arcade.


Keep reading

handsome-jacks-ghost  asked:

You've head the news? DragonDicks and and her cohorts bullied some MLP artist off Tumblr just because they didn't want to add a trigger warning for the color blue. Your thoughts?

The blue in question is the default color of tumblr.

They wanted this artist to put a trigger warning on the default color of a social media site:  A color which is incredibly hard to avoid–even using dashboard themes–because the site is constantly changing.  As someone who has a personalized dashboard theme that I keep having to fix, I know this all too well.  I mean, fuck–here are at least four posts in which I specifically lament that godawful fucking color, even going so far as to call it “that dark, murky turquoise of infinite despair”.

A trigger warning is meant as an aid for people to avoid things or situations that could trigger a genuine anxiety attack (by “genuine” I mean actually hyperventilating, feeling nauseous, and other symptoms akin to motion sickness.  Continuing to argue on tumblr is a pretty good indication that a person is not, in fact, experiencing an anxiety attack, particularly if doing so forces them to keep venturing into situations that allegedly trigger them).  For an example of a legitimate trigger, I know someone who had difficulty coping with the smell of burning wood after a fire broke out behind her apartment (she’s actually managed to overcome this after a pleasant experience camping in the woods).  This ties into the natural human fear of death, and of loss of home.  These are very common, very basic fears.  Before she overcame this fear, she would simply remove herself from situations where she might encounter smells that reminded her of that experience.

To add an experience of my own, I had a near-drowning incident when I was very young, and have been slowly trying to overcome my fear of deep, dark water (and large objects in said water).  Even just seeing pictures taken deep underwater makes me feel incredibly anxious (I’m happy to say that it’s getting a lot better).  HOWEVER, I do not seek out to find these things in order to complain about them, or try to force others not to post them.  It is also not my–nor anyone else’s–business to tell others what they are “allowed” to post, and how they are “allowed” to tag them.  Were we discussing something like images of explicit gore, it would be a different story.  That is something that is (hopefully) not omnipresent in the lives of the majority of human beings, and is a fairly universal taboo.

On tumblr, we have the ability to unfollow a person, block them, or to blacklist their posts in order to not see them.  These are tools with which a person can protect themselves.  Refusal to use these tools is the burden of the user, and no one else.  If you can’t take measures to protect yourself, why should anyone else feel compelled to give a damn either?  If you don’t buckle your seat belt, it’s not the car’s fault when your forehead ends up going through the windshield.

When we talk about triggers, we’re talking about legitimate physical and psychological concerns.  Unfortunately, certain people have appropriated this concept as a shield, and as a means of censorship against things they just don’t happen to like.  The value of others’ genuine suffering is being lowered and trivialized so that these people can apply it to themselves, and gain a sense of moral superiority by pretending to be “victims” that are “speaking out”.  It’s a means of receiving attention and credit for basically not doing a goddamn thing.

You do not get rid of a pile of dirt by trying to hide it under the rug.  All that does is leave a large lump of resentment just waiting to be exposed.  You get rid of it by learning how to clean better.  It is not the duty of the world to sanitize itself, nor to make itself “safe” for every person.  People like Dragondicks seem to be under the impression that the world needs to change just for them–they seem incapable of understanding that humanity is composed of people that think and feel differently than they do.  That which is “offensive” is also subjective.

We already saw this same behavior two decades ago when “politically correct” language came into fashion.  It was a joke then, and it’s a joke now.  It doesn’t matter which side it’s coming from.  In the end, unnecessary repression of expression is harmful.

Abuse of trigger warnings is psychologically detrimental to human beings.  This isn’t a sudden revelation, either.  Excessive sheltering behavior actually handicaps children:

http://gmwilliams.hubpages.com/hub/Sheltered-ChildrenUnsuccessful-Adults

http://www.succeedsocially.com/relatedfactors

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15721/1/How-Overparenting-Affects-Your-Child.html

http://www.babble.com/parenting/the-case-against-sheltering-our-kids-too-much/

http://hellogiggles.com/bad-news-overprotective-parents-youre-really-messing-up-your-kids/

http://www.science20.com/rogue_neuron/dont_shelter_your_children_coping_stress_child_develops_resilience_and_emotion_regulation_adult

https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/03/16/sarahs-story/

It was never a case of someone being “insensitive”.  It was always a case of others having tools at their disposal to block out content they didn’t wish to see in order to protect themselves, but refusing to use them.  Think of it like a person deliberately seeking out and entering a store that sells clothing they dislike, and demanding that they remove everything from the racks.  All of this over something that is a default part of the site’s coding.  EVERYONE hates the blue, but IT’S ALWAYS BEEN HERE.  If they hate it so much, then perhaps they should remove themselves from tumblr entirely.

If they did, I’m sure the overall quality of the site would improve as well.

Honestly, I can’t believe how badly DD keeps embarrassing herself.  I still can’t help but feel sorry for her (especially after seeing… …nevermind…), but every time I give her an ounce of sympathy, she once again dives face-first into a brick wall, and expects to be rewarded for it.

When Key leaves SHINee alone for the weekend...
  • Key: So I'll see you guys when I get back from the fashion show
  • Onew: Okay. I'm in charge, right? *raises hand in the air with a fake sword while sitting on a J-Horse*
  • Key: What the heck is J-Hope from BTS doing in our living room?
  • Jonghyun: what
  • Taemin: what
  • Minho: what
  • J-Horse: what
  • Onew: He agreed to be my pet horse
  • Minho: why J-Hope. why.
  • Key: ... let him go back to his own dorm, Onew hyung
  • Onew: b-but... my horse...
  • Minho: Hyung, let him go
  • Onew: ... fine... *rides J-Horse out of the dorm*
  • Taemin: anyway, so who's in charge?
  • Jonghyun: come on guys, we all know I should be in charge *rips off shirt sleeves and flexes biceps*
  • Minho: *Shakes head* obviously it won't be either of you
  • Taemin: I think we all know I should be in charge. *does aegyo and fangirls swarm* See?
  • Key: *Shoos fangirls away* maybe I should get a babysitter?
  • Jonghyun: Just leave. We're not kids and we're older than you
  • Key: ...fine. Don't make me regret this later *glares at all of them before heading out of the dorm*
  • ~ After Key leaves~
  • Taemin: Soo... Who's in charge...?
  • Onew: Key didn't really make that clear.
  • Jonghyun: Why don't we battle to see who's worthy?
  • Minho: *sighs* How about we all just do our own thing? We don't have to have anyone in charge...
  • Jonhyun: Minho lost already! *flexes biceps again in a suggestive way*
  • Taemin: I have a better chance than either of you! You'll be sorry you ever thought you could win!
  • Jonghyun: Yah, I'm your hyung! Do not talk to me like that.
  • Onew: Oh, let the kid be. We can drop honorifics for this. Rock-paper-sissors to decide what we do for battle.
  • Minho: I'm calling a babysitter...
  • ~ Two days later ~
  • Onew: HA! I WIN! TAKE THAT LOSERS!
  • Minho: *locked in the closet* when the heck is Hyung getting back...
  • Onew: NOW EVERYONE WILL BOW DOWN TO ME AND CALL ME THE CHICKEN KING!
  • Minho: No one's gonna do that
  • Onew: that's what YOU think, but when I have you all in animal suits eating chicken, you'll think differently
  • Taemin: ...what
  • Minho: Key Hyung is getting back today, you know
  • Onew: He can join in, too!
  • Taemin: ... wait, is Minho in the closet?
  • Onew: yes
  • Taemin: why??
  • Onew: because he called chicken stupid and threatened to stick it up my-
  • Taemin: OKAY, I got it, Hyung
  • Key: *Dramatically opens door* I'm ba-why is the dorm a mess?
  • Minho: *muffled from the closet* oh, well those three idiots had a battle to see who would be in charge. They just finished...
  • Key: Is Minho in the closet?
  • O & T: Yes
  • Key: Why?
  • Onew: Because he threatened to stick chicken up my-
  • Taemin: No, don't repeat it!
  • Key: ... I'm never leaving you guys alone again.
  • Jonghyun: *jumps out from under a sea of cushions* But you have to!
  • Key: AHHH! What was that?!?!?!
  • Jonghyun: the dinosaur. Rawwrrr
  • Key: ...
  • Taemin: I don't understand what we did wrong.
  • Onew: We just had a friendly battle.
  • Key: ...
  • Minho: *now out of the closet because magic* I'm the only normal one *pulls a pickle out of back pocket*
  • Key: ... wtf you guys
  • -Admins Jongie and Jinnie
  • (This is actually on the wrong account xD this was meant to go on my Kpop scenarios blog *lol-Kpop-scenarios*, but due to trouble with posting it, I'm leaving it on this account)

anonymous asked:

Hey there. I saw your Maiko post and uhm I hope you still ship them. I am kinda - well seriously - confused. I came onto TUMBLR to have a good time, but all I've been seeing are Maiko is abusive/unhealthy/Zuko doesn't love her bc he didn't rescue her posts. Would you mind explaining it to me? I thought it was a wonderful ship and Mai a wonderful character who just expresses herself differently. Zuko isn't perfect either. He gets glorified so much when he did hurt her twice. I am ??

Okay, first off: Mai is one of the most abused characters in fictional history, but not in-universe (…okay, actually…). She’s been abused by the fandom from Day One because, well, she’s the girl who swung in and came between the one of the most-hyped ships of all time. People are still bitter, and they’re still jumping on her, but let me tell you, Mai doesn’t care, because that’s how Mai rolls, and at the end of the day, she’s still the one getting all that sweet, sweet Zuko loving and giving that man the smile he deserves. 

It’s 4:00 in the morning so I’m going to keep this brief (just writing that sentence here I have no idea where this is going to go) but people will always start throwing “he’s abusive!” or “she’s controlling!” around at a ship they don’t like (every time), without ever really considering it.

BUT IN THIS CASE, THEY’RE RIGHT.

Originally posted by humor-y-videojuegos

…because this ship is all about untangling yourself from the abuse that has been heaped upon you by external forces and learning not to let this abuse seep into your other relationships. 

Let’s be real: for a few episodes, Mai and Zuko are a mess. Zuko’s frustrated and paranoid, Mai’s apathetic and snippy, and while they’re both really into the maikout sessions, they just can’t connect outside of that. Eventually, Zuko hits someone and Mai dumps him on the spot.

And that’s…actually a good demonstration of relationships? Don’t tolerate or reward the nonsense or feel obligated to fix it on your own–that’s not your responsibility. It’s up to the individual to fix his or her own issues. This isn’t to say that a partner isn’t allowed to help someone sort out their life, but this isn’t a demand or requirement. Thus, it’s only while Mai and Zuko are broken up that they start sorting through things and begin to work on healthy expression. They become more honest, and when the two of them admit their issues, they find their interests rekindled and fall in love again–but this time, they’re both aware of the faults in the other (Mai recognizes that Zuko isn’t living his Happily Ever After, and Zuko understands that Mai isn’t ignoring his angst because she doesn’t care but because she just isn’t comfortable letting people know that she cares). Even if it only took them fifteen minutes to a couple of hours, they still cross that bridge and find themselves on a new and beautiful island.

As for why Zuko didn’t rescue her, I argued this point for weeks after the finale, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized he was just trying to be super-dramatic but Mai’s uncle wasn’t going to stand for that. Because let’s face it: Zuko’s never going to be the Knight in Shining Armor, he’s never going to be the Larger-than-Life Hero, because if he was, he wouldn’t be Zuko. He can run to rescue his uncle, but his uncle will have rescued himself; he can try to defeat his sister, but he’ll end up lying on the ground watching a Water Tribe peasant be the hero; he can stand up to an evil council but get reprimanded by his father; he can plan to dramatically rescue his (ex?)-girlfriend but have her show up on his doorstep because she’s already beaten him to the punch. And honestly, I don’t think Zuko or Mai would have it any other way. Because at the end of the day, he thinks she’s super-awesome and cool, and she thinks he’s an adorable dork who never gives up. They’re the perfect couple, even if their relationship has its imperfections, and that’s why they’ll always be my OTP.

Imagine having a discussion with Jared

I take my shoes off as I walk into the living room, Jared is nowhere to be seen, so I immediately know that he’s in his studio. I walk there and only get my head through the door; for once, the room is pretty neat and Jared is concentrated reading something on his laptop. I leave the room quietly and walk into the kitchen to prepare dinner, I’ve been out all day and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t eaten anything.

I’m already finishing dinner when I feel Jared’s hands wrapping me from behind, he leaves a small kiss on my neck and I giggle when his beard tickles me.

“It smells nice” He whispers, and lets go of me to go to the fridge, “You had a nice day?”

“Busy, as always” I mumble, serving pasta on two plates, “Oh, by the way, before I forget, there’s this thing on Friday…”

“What thing?”

“Sarah, from work, it’s her birthday”

“I can’t on Friday, I gotta work with Emma, we’re planning tour dates and venues” He says while taking his plate on one hand and a bottle of water on the other.

“On Friday night?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Yeah, sorry, babe” Jared apologizes, leaving a small kiss on my forehead, “I’ll eat in the studio, I haven’t finish work yet”

I don’t get to say anything, Jared disappears in a second through the hallway back to his studio and I’m left alone in the kitchen. I take my dinner to the living room, I sit in front of the tv and start eating without even turning it on.

Jared has always been a workaholic, so his attitude didn’t surprised me at all. I know I must be used to it by now, but it still hurt that his work came first almost a hundred percent of the time. I have this ghost boyfriend and after working for two years in the same place, they were starting to think I had a great imagination by creating this perfect boyfriend that never shows up for office parties and gatherings.

I’m happy with Jared, I’ve always been, but I just wanted a little attention. I wanted something more than a little chat during dinner, and a kiss before going to sleep, I wanted a real relationship, like the one we had when we first started.

I take my time to finish dinner, I get to rest for a few minutes before I stand to leave everything in the kitchen. When I walk into Jared’s office to get his plate, I notice he hasn’t eaten a thing.

“Do you want me to warm it up for you?” I ask him and he gives a little jump on his sit, surprised by my presence there.

“No, it’s alright, I wasn’t going to keep eaten anyway”

I don’t say a thing, take the dish and walk towards the kitchen. I save what he didn’t ate, and leave his plate with mine in the dishwasher. I lean on the cabinet and feel the tears starting to run all over my face. I was starting to feel like I was living with a stranger.

“Hey!” I hear Jared’s worried voice, his hands going straight to my face, “Are you crying because I didn’t ate your dinner? I’m sorry, it was delicious! I’m just.. not hungry”

“I’m ok, I’m just tired” I mumble avoiding his eyes, “I’ll go to sleep”

I manage to let go of his hands, but when I reach the door, his hand reaches my arm.

“Babe…”

“I’m fine, just let me go to sleep, please”

“How long have we been dating?” He asks, I tilt my head in confusion, so he tries again, “Come on, How long?”

“Three years” I whisper, still confused.

“Three years, and you think I’m gonna believe that you are just tired?” Jared says crossing his arms.

I put my hands in my pockets, waiting for him to let me go again, but seeing that I’m not willing to answer, Jared uses his hand on my arm to pull me to him. His hand rubs my back, while the other goes to my head to caress my hair.

“I just want to sleep, I’m alright” I cry, again.

“I know you’re not, just talk to me” His hands making their way to my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. He’s more than worried and I can see it on how bright his eyes are, he’s scared. “Please” Jared implores me, watching the tears wetting his hands, “Babe…”

“I miss you” I sigh, and he finally breaks.

He’s not the type of guy that holds his emotions back, but every time he breaks, my heart aches. I start feeling goosebumps all over my body, with Jared walking away from me. But now that I’ve started letting all this go, I can’t just stop.

“I barely see you, it’s like you’re married to your work, which is good, I’ve always loved how committed you are, but… I can’t help but feel that I’m alone in this”

I don’t receive an answer, Jared is leaned on the kitchen island and all I can see is his back.

“Every day I get home and do my best to get to you, I know I will hardly ever understand all the stress that you go through with your work, but I just want… I want you to notice me”

“I notice you” He replies, still in the same position, “You know I do”

“Jared, come on! This week, just this week, how many times have you got in bed before 3 am?”

“I’ve been working…”

“Just answer the damn question!” I shout, letting all the pressure go off my chest.

“None” He answers, finally turning around to look at me.

“See?”

His eyes are focused on the door and I see the tears falling freely from his eyes.

“You don’t stop, not even for five minutes, to just sit and talk to me, or eat dinner. Every night I go to bed alone and I can’t stand this solitude anymore”, I take a minute to breath, hoping to get any comment from him, but Jared stays silent, “You’re gonna leave for tour soon, and I’m gonna be alone again, we should be using this little time we have to spend it together”

His eyes are still on the door, maybe thinking of ways to escape this inevitable conversation, the tears keep running and I notice he’s started to bite his bottom lip.

“I’m not the only one to blame” He finally says, and I gasp when his eyes lay on me.

“Oh, so you think I don’t blame myself for everything that is happening? That I don’t spend all those hours alone in bed thinking that maybe it was something I did, or said? There are time when you don’t even touch me, Jared, and it hurts more than your absence and silence”

I know I probably look like shit right now, with my make up all over my face, red eyes and the face wet by the tears, and yet he still looks like a goddamn fallen angel with his contrite expression and tears.

“Do you still love me, Jared? Or we’re just doing this because it feels comfortable?”

His whole body posture and look on his face changes in less than a second from sad to furious, he even laughs for a second, his hands brushing his hair out of his eyes. When he acknowledges how surprised I am by his reaction he laughs again, one of his hands still on his hair.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were joking” Jared teases, drying his face with his sleeve, “Seriously, I can’t believe you just said that”

“It’s just what I feel” I sob, “You can’t blame me for thinking something like that”

“Of course I can't” I try to focus on the floor so I don’t have to see how annoyed he is, “But it’s my work, you’ve always seen me like this, we’ve been together for three years, so why now? Is there something I need to know? Because I’m seriously lost”

Am I just going mad or is he really trying to imply that I cheated? I would never, ever do that.

I roll my eyes, starting to walk out of the kitchen, but I hear him shouting my name ordering me to come back.

“You started this, now we finish it!!”

I take a few seconds to rub my sleeves on my cheeks, trying to clean my face, but actually thinking that I messed everything up even more. When I return to the kitchen, I meet Jared’s eyes, filled with anger, arms crossed and lying on one of the counters. I feel a shiver down my spine and I fold my arms to recover myself.

“You want me to go on?” I ask him defensive, and once he nods I continue, “You sure?”

“It can’t get any worse”

“There’s no point of me being here, we moved together to actually be together, not to live like we are doing now”

“You’re done?” I nod, and wait for him to organize his ideas, “My turn then”

Jared sighs and starts talking.

“First of all, I’m hurt, how could you possible think that I don’t love you?!” He shouts, and the shivers come back to my body, “I fucking love you, we’ve had the most amazing three years together, we’ve visited all these wonderful places around the world, got through the most difficult situations, and after all this time, I love you the same way I’ve done since day one”

I feel the tears again and I can’t bear his eyes on mine anymore, so I choose to focus on my shoes, Jared sighs again and continues.

“I want everything to be perfect, I spend all my day talking with people, answering emails, organizing simple things that my stupid record label can’t manage and I don’t even realize how time flies around me” He pauses for a minute and I hear his footsteps getting closer to me, but he stops and stands watching me from a distance, “Do you think I like being all day fixing what other people messes up? I even feel guilty by giving that much work to Emma, she’s got to deal with the same shit that I’ve had to all these years and it’s not even her band, it’s mine, I decided to get into this”

Jared shuts a few seconds, waiting for me to make a comment, every time Emma’s name appears in our conversations I don’t react in a good way. I’ve never believed that nothing has happened between them. So Jared just waits for me to make a remarkable comment about how I don’t want to talk about his assistant, but I don’t say a word and he seems shocked.

“No comments on that? Anyway, I’m sure Emma’s topic will come out other time”, Jared shrugs and continues, “I’m tired, all I want is to stop working for a second and get in bed with you, but once I realize that, it’s too late, I can’t even hold my eyes open” Another step and I finally look at him, “I know you’re awake when I get in bed, I know that you stay awake to wait for me, and I’m sorry, you work all day too and…”

“Please, don’t compare my job to yours, you know I loose the fight there”

“I won’t. But, during this whole conversation, have you stopped to think how I must feel?” I nod, but he laughs, this time, I can feel the sadness, “I believe you, but I don’t think you can imagine how I feel with all this situation”

I stay quiet, looking at his bright eyes and I see a small smirk, his hands brush his hair and I notice the tears again.

“I can’t stand it sometimes, having to be all day in that studio” Jared shakes his head, starting to dry his tears again and I feel mine too, he ends up shrugging with a smile and his eyes avoiding mine, “I can’t blame you for all this, it’s all on me, but I can’t just leave my work”

“I know” I sob, “And I’m not gonna force you either”

“I’ll understand if you leave”

When I finally acknowledge what he’s saying, he’s already leaving the kitchen, still using one of his sleeves to dry the tears. My body reacts too late to follow him, and once I get to the studio I hear the click of the lock.

“Jared…?!”

My breathing turns heavy and I feel my knees getting weak. I manage to get to our bedroom and I start crying, letting go all that my chest held on while talking to Jared. I know he can hear my sobbing and how I scream trying to control the tears, but he doesn’t comes to see me.

I’m not leaving him, how could I possibly leave the only person that makes me feel whole? We understand each other, and that’s why we got along so well. We could easily know what the other was feeling just by looking at our faces, but now, even though we were still able to do so, we were ignoring all that we felt.

I take off my clothes and lie in bed just in my underwear, I don’t have the will to get dressed. I spend hours thinking about our relationship, the good and the bad moments and how the whole conversation turned out.

The clock hits five and I haven’t slept a minute, I don’t know how I’m still crying, in silence this time. Small sobs come out from time to time, but I hold my sadness in complete silence. I hear the footsteps on the stairs, yet I don’t move. When Jared starts taking off his clothes I don’t turn to say a word, I just stay in the same position, waiting for him. He gets under the blankets and traces my naked shoulders with his shaking hands. Goose bumps make my body shiver and I start sobbing again.

“For a second…” He says, his voice a little brittle, “I really thought you were going to leave”

“You know I wouldn’t do that” I whisper, turning around to face him, “I love you, and nothing would change that, not even a life away from you”

Jared rests his forehead on mine, his hand tracing my arm and shoulder, while the other holds my face.

“I don’t deserve you” I hear him whisper, and I’m about to protest, but he silents me with his index finger on my lips, “But I love you, we love each other, and we’ll get through this, it’s no the first time we have difficulties”

“It’s the first time you let me leave you”

“You should”

“I won't”

“I know” Jared mumbles, pulling my body closer to him, “And you don’t know how fearful that makes me feel”

ginhikari  asked:

this is something I think about a lot. after the "fight" in ep 9 where gin didn't even dare to hurt hiji.. I feel like hiji would unconsciously/kinda consciously wander to the same rooftop where they "fought" when he patrols the streets. he frequently comes across that place and checks to see if gin is there but obviously he isnt until one day hiji comes across gin and he freaks out cause he doesn't really know what to do??? idk I think about it a lot

//ACTUAL SCREAMING// I LOVE THIS HEADCANON SO MUCH!! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME PERMISSION TO POST THIS PUBLICLY I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS HEADCANON AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING! 

Hijikata’s furious and exhausted.

Takasugi had been nearby, Katsura had gotten involved, Gintoki had apparently played a huge part in the whole thing, and the Shinsengumi hadn’t been anywhere to be found. So, Hijikata has missed his opportunity to arrest three of the rebels and the only thing he has gotten to do is clean up the mess the bastards left behind. That’s all he has been doing today! Cleaning and drowning in paperwork regarding statements from witnesses, details on damages, and report after fucking report. 

When he passes a familiar roof, he holds his middle finger up to it as he walks right by.

Keep reading

Fandom: Dragon Age
Pairing: Pavellan
Word Count: 863
This is all @earthprincewu‘s fault for feeding me Griffin/Dorian angst. Have some sad Dorian toward the end of Trespasser, when things aren’t looking so hot for our dear Inquisitor.


He was dying.

He would never admit it, but Dorian could read between the lines of Griffin’s stony silences. Dorian knew that the anchor was out of control – he’d had his suspicions since this whole mess with the Qunari began. He’d never found the nerve to actually bring it up with Griffin, not when they already had so many problems to worry about. Griffin hated exposing his weaknesses to other people. Everyone else always had to be taken care of first. That was why it was Dorian’s job to take care of him, to make sure he never neglected himself.

And he’d failed this time. Griffin was dying, and Dorian hadn’t even tried to stop it.

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Our Little Angel

Based on: http://imaginethatsupernatural.tumblr.com/post/89838019248/little-one-go-to-sleep-for-your-mother-and

Imagine singing you and Castiel’s child to sleep.

Characters: Castiel x reader (female), baby

Word Count: 815

Warnings: fluffy fluffness

Note: It’s shorter than my other pieces so far.  I think it’s because it’s sooo fluffy.  I may abhor conflict in real life, but maybe, in order to get me to hit over 1000 words, there’s gotta be a little conflict in my writing.  IDK.  Also, I think the imagine was supposed to be the reader singing the child to sleep, but the picture is of Cas holding a baby, so that’s what I went with.

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megatraven  asked:

Adrienette - 4. Butterfly Kiss

After two years of dating, Adrien could always tell when Marinette wasn’t feeling great. There was a noticeable loss of excitement about the things she was normally passionate about, which was the obvious sign. But then there were the things only Adrien knew about- such as the times when she blanked out or snapped unconditionally.

It was also in her posture- the slump of her shoulders and the downcast eyes. This was the state Marinette was in when she walked through the door of the bakery that afternoon. They’d agreed to meet at the bakery for a movie date, and Adrien had arrived early. He was glad he had.

“Something wrong, Mari?” he asked, quickly standing up and wrapping his arms around his girlfriend, rubbing circles on her back. He felt the tense muscles beneath his fingertips relax with his touch, but it was obvious the ravenette was still bothered by something.

“I’m fine, Adrien,” Marinette smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “You’re here early.”

The blond considered letting her get away with it for now- he could bring it up again later when she was more relaxed. “Mari, don’t try to hide these things. I can see them… even feel them to some degree.” He lifted his hands up, massaging her shoulders now.

“I just… Chloé showed up today,” Marinette admitted. “She said something that made me feel a little mad… but I feel better now.” She smiled, gently pushing his hands away. “Let’s go upstairs and start that movie date.”

Adrien nodded, though his thoughts were churning. Chloé had shown up? What had she said to Marinette? Would he have to call her and tell her to stop? It was no secret that the blonde was jealous of their relationship, though he thought she’d mostly gotten over her jealousy. He reminded himself if Chloé was trying to break them up, Marinette would’ve said so.

The two headed to Marinette’s room, shifting the placement of a few things for a better viewing experience, before sitting on the bed, the blankets wrapped around them like a cocoon, ankles intertwined. It had been the ravenette’s turn to choose the movie, and she had picked some romantic comedy that she had insisted he would love (“Chat would adore it, and since you’re Chat…”). Honestly, Adrien was half-convinced most of his enjoyment would come from watching it with Marinette.

The secret of their movie dates was that it never stayed as just a movie date. As soon as the fifteen minute mark had been reached, they’d start stealing kisses from one another. Innocent little pecks on the cheek, just enough to distract from the movie. By the twenty five minute mark, the kisses were on the lips, movie mostly forgotten.

Breathless from a particularly long kiss, Marinette rested her forehead on Adrien’s. Their eyebrows were actually touching, lips barely apart, hands clasped underneath the mess of blankets. “I love you,” she murmured.

Instead of saying the words back, Adrien sealed the distance between their lips. Their proximity caused his lips to tingle, cheeks becoming flushed. He leaned in, trying to gain space that was not actually available, deepening the kiss. Marinette’s grip on his hands tightened.

“Since our eyebrows were touching,” Marinette murmured when the finally pulled away, “does that count as a butterfly kiss?”

“More like an akuma kiss,” Adrien replied without thinking. “Since the only kind of butterfly I’ve seen recently are the black variety.”

Marinette only stared at him for a moment. “…Are you serious, Chat?”

It wasn’t the first time she’d mixed up his identities.

It was the first time she’d done it on purpose.

Love at first sight?

Based in this post. All my love and gratitude to @bleep0bleep, thanks for the beta and for being so amazing to me always <3 


Derek hated to work on saturdays.

It was tiring, loud and he had to deal with a lot of rude people, he just hated it, he hated it all.

Cora singsonged from her way to the kitchen that Derek just hated to work.

She’s wrong. In fact he actually likes what he does a lot. He opens his mouth to tell her just that, but Laura beats him to it.

“Don’t be silly, Derek loves working here, what he does in fact hate is dealing with human beings,” she said, laughing at the high color in his cheeks.

Twenty-eight years ago his father and mother met in high school, and while being friends they discovered that they had a few things in common, their love for food was one of them. Five years later they married and opened the family business, and what started out as a hole in the wall diner, today was the most sought place to eat from Beacon Hills until Sacramento.

Talia was in charge of the baking, her magic and capable hands could make any type of pie, cookie, cake, but for her own life and pride, she couldn’t cook trivial food. And that’s exactly why her relationship with Greg had gone so well, he couldn’t bake a cake to save his life, but would cook any other kind of food with expertise. Their work together flowed with precision and creativity, growing up Derek always thought that what they did in kitchen is more than cook, it was dancing, it was love.

Their love and chemistry was motive of why the Hale’s Diner was the best in the whole town. They have the best burger, the best red velvet cake,  best apple and pumpkin pie and Derek dares to say that they also have the best coffee. Their milkshake was a hit between kids and adults, Peter always says that his milkshake bring all the boys and girls to the yard.  

They’re also the only place open until two am in the weekends, what made them not only the favourite place for a late snack but also obligatory stop for the teens coming or going party.

Hence Derek’s sour mood in have a full house at one am on a Saturday.

He has a shitload of homework to do, he had to comfort Isaac because of his feelings for some couple that he wanted be part of,  Boyd and Erica were fighting about something, which to be honest Derek thought it looked more like foreplay than anything else; Laura was moving away in less than a month, and the diner was full of rude people.

His hair was greasy and  he needed a shower and a good night of sleep, a day off and probably to get laid. Shit thing was, he needed all those things, and he was getting none.

“Just one more hour, just one more hour,” Derek mumbled to himself.

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I didn’t make him for you

I’ve been doing the Snowflake Challenge over in my journal for the past few days, and today’s challenge was to create a fanwork. So I wrote this meta piece I’ve been meaning to for ages. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how fandom, specifically this corner of fandom that sprang from the early days of Star Trek (when at that time, fan culture predominantly revolved around literature in the science fiction and fantasy realms), has become mainstream. Enough so that now publishers are taking fanfic, filing off the serial numbers, and publishing it as original fiction, and Entertainment Weekly is hosting a fanfic contest, and Amazon’s trying to capitalize on fandom with a fanfiction publishing scheme. Fewer and fewer fan-run cons that are just for fans are happening; these days it’s all about the huge ComicCons and Wizard Worlds, where people have to pay big bucks for the opportunity to see their favorite celebs. Money is king at the sites where fans have mostly migrated, such as Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook, who only care about advertiser investment. Any of us who post vids to YouTube or Vimeo know how quickly a vid will get banned or blocked or just disappeared–all because of license agreements with music companies (mostly, some video producers will do it too), historically the most notorious business for screwing people over for what they perceive to be a profit threat.

And the newer generation of fans, man of whom have no idea of the history that’s out there and may not ever connect with other fans beyond follows and friends lists, who may never delve into the history of how hard fans had to work to have their creations shared, are often unaware of the fact that fanworks have historically not been public, have not been out there where just anyone could find them with a quick internet search. That a lot of people didn’t even know what slash was, for instance, because zines had to be sold under the table since they were considered porn and a violation, even if there was nothing explicit in them. Or that most people had to buy tapes, and later DVDs, to find vids, because the equipment was monumentally expensive and difficult to learn and there was no such thing as streaming. Everything was done from fan to fan, and people had to connect with each other in order to get content.

And it was decidedly not public. To be public usually brought scorn and ridicule, and since so much of media fandom, as opposed to the SF or comics world, was created by women, we were even more likely to get scorn heaped on us. Sometimes people were even threatened by participation–I know of at least two people whose partners used their fannish activities against them in divorce proceedings, and one person who was outed at her job for writing explicit slash by someone who disliked her. Read Fanlore and find out about the actions Lucasfilm took against Star Wars zine producers. It was just not a friendly world at all, outside the walls of our little castle.

So it’s been a hard road, sometimes, for people who started out when fandom was not talked about outside of fandom, when your porn fantasies or vids about your crush object weren’t likely to be discovered by People Who Didn’t Get It. We used to call those folks “mundanes.” We weren’t creating fanworks that would be read or viewed by mundanes, we were creating them for our fellow fans who squeed with us over the same things, who loved the same actors or musicians or athletes we did, who adored the same tropes we did. Who wanted to talk endlessly about the way those two characters gazed into each other’s eyes or the way you just knew that the singer and the guitarist were knocking boots because of the way they interacted on stage. Who respected the boundaries of the fandom universe.

In short, to quote Dr. Frank N. Furter, “I didn’t make him for you.” Our fanworks are not created for nonfans.

The main reason I’ve been thinking about this so much, aside from things like articles about EW’s stupid little fanfiction contest coming across my dashboard, is that a while ago I got the most delightfully hilarious comment on a YouTube video, and it reminded me that there are all these people out there now consuming our fannish content who just have absolutely no freaking clue that our content is not meant for them. They don’t get it. They don’t understand what fannish vids are, or what fanfic really means to the readers in the fandom. It doesn’t stop them from sharing their opinions, of course.

So the vid in question was one I made a few years ago for Vividcon, a Miami Vice vid I’ve wanted to make pretty much since I discovered vids back in the early ‘90s. It was to Peter Gabriel’s Red Rain, a song that was used on the show in one of the later season episodes. But that wasn’t why I wanted to make the vid, in fact, I’d actually forgotten Red Rain was used at all until…I got this YouTube comment from an actor who was in the episode where it was used.

This is GREAT… But actually RED RAIN was used in STONE’S WAR episode when I killed Lonette McKee… Check out the episode if you can. It’s a classic! As are all the Vice’s Trivia… G. Gordon Liddy returned as Capt Maynard and played my handler in that episode…. Bob Balaban played Ira Stone.

So, I laughed and laughed and laughed when I got this. Because he felt compelled to tell me that I was using the song wrong! It was only used in that episode, and I messed it up by putting all these other episodes to the song! And clearly you never saw that episode or you would not have used the song incorrectly, so here it is, go watch!

It never occurred to him, I guess, that if there were clips from, like, 20 other Miami Vice episodes in the vid, that would mean I might have watched Stone’s War (which, I did, when I first got the discs, but it’s one of my least favorite episodes, so…). Fannish vids aren’t a concept that he’s familiar with, so he doesn’t understand how clips are recontextualized in fanvids, how different stories are told using the format of blending song and video source material to create something new. He isn’t the audience that the vid was made for. (I actually am not denigrating him for leaving the comment, I was flattered as hell that an actor who appeared on the show watched the vid–that show gave me a lot of enjoyment for a very long time and is one of my all-time favorites.)

But it really brought home to me how much the audience has changed for these things. A number of years ago, a friend of mine was caught in a really difficult situation where someone uploaded her vids to YouTube, didn’t give an attribution, and one of the vids was an explicit look at a Kirk/Spock relationship. It went viral, and there was a whole kerfuffle around it that she never wanted, but the funny thing to me personally was that another friend of mine, who’s only marginally fannish but loves my friend’s vids to pieces, told me that someone had forwarded him a link to the vids, and made a snarky comment about the explicit one. He was like, “Yeah, I told them to shut their piehole and also that I’d seen them before and that I thought they were incredible and you’re not the audience they were made for.” In the years since that, I’ve seen this play out over and over again: mundanes discover fanworks, think it’s hilarious and stupid, mock fans in public (or maybe worse, try to shut down the production).

This past year, when the Avengers actors were on Jimmy Kimmel, he showed some (thankfully not explicit) fanart of Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo’s characters and seemed to be, like the dick he is, baiting them and the other actors about how stupid and silly and embarassing fans were, and when they came back from commercial break, RDJ and Ruffalo were gazing into each other’s eyes, Ruffalo sitting on RDJ’s lap, re-creating one of the art pieces shown earlier. And I don’t know if they did it as a way to say “fuck you” to Kimmel, or they were mocking fans (with Ruffalo, I tend to think not), but it at least felt like they were saying, “Hey, it’s our fans. It’s okay. Let them have their fun, this isn’t for us.” And we’ve seen how the Sherlock actors were pushed to read some fanfic in public, as a way to laugh at and embarrass them and the writer of the fanfiction.

The fact that the lines are more and more blurry between fan content creators and general mass consumption work is making these things happen so much more frequently. Sometimes we’ll get people who grok us, and love us, and support us (Orlando Jones, for instance, who was such a huge participant in Sleepy Hollow fandom). Sometimes it’ll be someone like the actor who left me that YT comment, people who don’t get it, but feel the need to share anyway, or my friend who told off a nonfan who wanted him to join in the mocking of a vid. Sometimes it’ll be people who buy an ebook because it sounds interesting, not knowing that the writer is also a fanfic writer and that the characters are based on the ones they write fanfic for.

The genie’s out of the bottle, and fandom is a public thing now. But one thing I see that hasn’t really changed, over and over again, is that we didn’t make it for them. We made it for ourselves, our friends, our follow lists, the other congoers, the person who has yet to discover fanworks but will when they think, “Wow, I love this, I want to read more about this or see more about this” and input a search, discovering a whole new world they never knew existed. It’s that thing that people like my comment-leaver don’t understand–fanworks are an invitation: Come squee with me.

politicalmamaduck  asked:

I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner: LIBRARIAN AU.

Bless you.


She was back again. Ben called her The Scavenger in his head because she liked to pick collections dry. (Though he knew from her library card that her name was Rey. Pretty.) There wasn’t a pattern to her hauls, only that she’d take almost an entire shelf with her in that ratty little messenger bag and leave him to pick up her mess. Two weeks ago, it was the 641s, which was fine enough, but honestly who needed two dozen cookbooks of only Ethiopian food? The week before, she’d torn apart the Bs, robbing them of every single biography of Han Solo the library owned, and he knew from personal experience that that was both excessive and not that great of a story. Before that, the 940.5s, then the 155.6s, and before that, she’d checked out almost their entire collection of YA graphic novels.

He didn’t understand her, and couldn’t fathom that she was actually reading all these books in the singular week she would have them checked out, but occasionally he’d find one of her sticky notes still left in the books, so she must be at least skimming them.

A large, book-loving part of him praised her for not marking up the books like most of the students did. Not a page was creased and there were never highlighted sections. Just the odd post-it, though those never made sense. They were always just one word, and usually a name with an arrow pointing to the pertinent line. “Grandad,” or “Finn,” or “Jessika.”

He was a doctoral student and much too old to be scamming on the undergrads, but damn if this girl didn’t fascinate him. Tall but slender and knock-you-in-the-face pretty in that freckled, messy hair kind of way. She’d never said a thing to him beyond her “thank you” when he handed back her books. It was enough for him to latch on to her accent and warm at the surprisingly low pitch of her voice. He’d missed her when she didn’t show last week to return her cookbooks and take another swoop of the stacks.

Ben didn’t suppose he was fooling anyone but himself: he had it bad for the Scavenger and she was back. He’d talk to her tonight. He would. There were enough student workers at the desk to not need him running things and it wasn’t near finals time and he would. Tonight. He’d ask her if she’d cooked any of the recipes in her books or if she’d read the latest issue of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. He meant to catch her as she was dumping the books into the return slot, but one of the circ kids asked him a question and he lost her.

It was stupid and almost creepy, but he went into the stacks after her. Just to ask her if she needed any help finding anything. If she needed a job, as she knew half the collection already. Ask her to coffee.

He started in the 900s and quickly lost hope. She wasn’t usually one for fiction, but as he was already in the 250s and not coming up with anything, he thought she might be tucked away in the stacks upstairs. Just as he was about to give up, he found her.

The 020s.

Maybe she did want a job.

“Library science?”

She jumped and dropped her book which landed with a loud bang on the hardwood floor. She looked up at him then quickly away, turning into the shelf and running her fingers along the books in a very good imitation of someone who didn’t know what they were looking for.

Her book was still laying on the floor.

He reached for it and held it out. She was very pointedly ignoring him.

Shit.

“You, um, dropped this?” Idiot, he thought. Of course she dropped it. The whole floor knew she dropped the book.

“Thank you,” she mumbled and took it from him without looking. It occurred to him that he’d still never heard anything from her but these two words.

“Can I…help you find anything?”

She was quiet for a long moment, and he thought that she meant to ignore him again as she kept playacting like she was looking for a specific book. She kept running her fingers over the books, tracing the titles then the call numbers, one by one. Next shelf, same thing. Like she was performing an action that she had memorized.

“I’d like books about librarians, please. These are all about librarianship or their jobs. But I want books about librarians as people.”

Her voice was beautiful. Measured and posh and deep. Ben felt his ears heat with a blush, and he moved his hands through his long hair to make sure his Dumbo-ears were covered. “Any particular librarian you’re interested in?”

He cringed. That sounded like a come on. Real gross, dude.

“Well, you, actually,” she answered. “But you don’t have your doctorate yet so I doubt you’ve had any books written about you, even if your dad and mum are famous.”

“W-what?”

She turned to look up at him. Well, sort of. She looked at his nose. He knew it was big and that it drew the eye, so it didn’t bother him much. He wished she’d look him in the eye, though. She had gorgeous eyes.

“I’m Rey,” she said in a way that seemed like she’d hold her hand out for him to shake. She didn’t, of course. Ben wasn’t sure why he’d added the of course.

“I’m Ben. You know about my parents?”

She cocked her head, her eyes flitting to his for the barest of moments before settling on his nose again. “You checked out all those biographies on Han Solo to me. You know that I know about your parents.”

He liked her. He liked her a whole lot. She was weird and direct and he really, really liked her.

“Why do you want a book about me?” he asked. He took a step closer and she took a step back. This made sense somehow and he took a step back as well, giving her more space.

“To know how to talk to you,” she answered. She was looking at his eyebrows now. She wanted to know how to talk to him.

“You’re talking to me now, aren’t you? You don’t need a book for that.”

She cocked her head again, considering. “I usually do.” She tapped her nail on a four leaf clover button on the strap of her messenger bag and his eyes darted down at the sound.

Don’t kiss me, I’m on the spectrum.

Oh.

She seemed to change then, turning back to the shelf and starting to run her fingers along the books again. He reached out to her, but caught himself before he touched her shoulder. He pulled his hand back and squeezed it into a tight fist. It’s okay! Come back!

“Do you like coffee?” he asked. Her finger slowed on the books.

“No.”

Ben nodded. That was fine. It’s fine. There are plenty of other weird, beautiful, direct girls who singlehandedly drive the circ stats for late Thursday nights at the campus library. It’s fine.

“But I like coffee shops. I like people watching.”

He smiled. Relieved. “I do too. You want to people watch together sometime?”

“Okay,” she said, not turning from the books. “My phone number is in my file on the computer. I give you permission to write it down and text me. Please don’t call. I’m horrible at phones.”

His smile grew. He was horrible at phones, too.

“Okay,” he said. She was quiet again, but she was smiling at the books.

“Let me know if I can help you find anything else.”

anonymous asked:

LUKE ACCIDENTALLY OUTING THEM ON TWITTER like posting the wrong image and he doesn't realize it till it blows up and his mom calls like "Lucas hemmings why didn't u tell me u were dating ashton" while ashton and the others laugh their asses off in the background

OH YM GOD OKAY R U FUCKING READ Y

this is gonna be really shitty but whatever whatever

“Lucas Hemmings why didn’t you tell me you were dating Ashton?”

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Lumière

Summary: Dan and Phil being adorable during their vacation.Inspired by Ed Sheeran’s Tenerife Sea and Phil’s side channel video that made me feel too many things.

Genre: fluff fluff fluff fluff

Warnings: one or two swear words. slightly implied smut but it’s barely there.

Word count: 1145

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