i’m going to start getting my postgrad application in order now, before i properly start on my dissertation. it’s weird - i’m nervous but not anxious; as an adult i’ve never had the drive to do anything before. i’ve always just taken my life at most a month at a time because looking further ahead than that terrified me. but now i’m thinking about the future and not just shutting down - there are things i want to do and i know basically what i need to do to get to where i can do them! so i’m gonna!