positive-behavior

To deter crime and promote positive behavior, all citizens are wired with ocular and aural recorders. During a routine bulk data analysis, it’s discovered that an entire small town has “gone dark”. You’re sent to investigate.

Kin without Ableism

Identifying as otherkin or having kintypes can be a fantastic coping mechanism or a spiritual belief, however, neither coping nor spirituality are exempt from potentially being ableist.  

Please don’t:

  • Use the word “system” to describe your collection of kintypes. This is a word used by people with Dissociative Identity Disorder to describe the collection of identities severe childhood trauma split off. This is not appropriate to use for kin. This especially goes for alter- alters are trauma-split identity fragments in DID, not kintypes. I’d prefer you not use “headmates” either, regardless of what kin experiences you’re using the word to describe, there’s probably a better word to use.
  • Use the word fronting to describe kinshifts. Instead of, “Keith is fronting right now,” please try “I’m kinshifting Keith,” “I’m really feeling Keith right now,” etc. Fronting is related to alters and DID. It’s not appropriate to use for kin. 
  • Claim amnesia between kinshifts. Kinshifts are shifts of your identity, how you feel, how you react to situations. You shouldn’t have memory issues or a different core identity between kinshifts, and if you do, you need to seek professional help because you could be having seizures or another serious issue. 
  • Intentionally fracture off parts of yourself or treat specific kintypes as “not you.”
  • Diagnose your kintypes with mental illnesses and claim to have those mental illnesses because of kintypes. If you feel like you might have a severe mental illness, it’s up to you to cope with that and work on feeling better. 
  • Equate kin memories to repressed memories or “true” body memories. If a part of your spirituality is believing in past lives and you have memories of your kintypes, that’s great! However, equating it to recovered trauma memories, body memories (things you’ve experienced in this lifetime), etc is ableist. 
  • Don’t take up trauma survivor’s spaces based on kin memories of trauma. If you have a kintype that’s survived CSA, you may not claim space as a CSA survivor unless you’ve experienced that trauma in this body/life. If you have repressed trauma, it could present as nightmares and you could misinterpret that as kin memories. If you have nightmares of trauma or think you have traumatic kin memories, it’s definitely worth looking into with a therapist. You could be recovering memories and it would be damaging to cast them aside as kin memories. 

Please do:

  • Seek professional help if kintypes make you feel worse. If you feel out of control, if you feel like kintypes are controlling you or hurting yourself/others, if you feel disconnected from reality, if you have vivid or traumatic kin memories, if you have hallucinations/delusions, if kintypes make you feel worse instead of better at any point, please seek professional help. There could be something else going on.
  • Do educate yourself on the differences between tulpas, soulbonds, kintypes, etc and alters. Fictives (fictional introjects) are a type of alter, which again are specific to DID. Alters are split off from severe childhood trauma, and fictives are just alters who have similar grounded identities to that of fictional characters. This is not equatable to kintypes, IDs, soulbonds, etc. 
  • Listen to members of marginalized groups and keep your coping and spiritual beliefs free of ableism, racism, transphobia, etc!
  • Use your kintypes to make yourself a better person! It can be a powerful coping tool and a powerful tool for spirituality! If you’re using kin to cope with trauma, mental illness, everyday life, etc, that’s great. I’m pro-kin, just not pro-ableism and silencing of trauma survivors!


Kintypes are not the same as alters. The core difference is that kintypes are you, whereas alters are split from severe dissociation and trauma and are not you. It’s disrespectful and ableist to equate these. 

Most of the time, kintypes and related beliefs and behaviors can be changed and directed. If your behavior is ableist, racist, or unhealthy for you, it can be changed for the positive! Coping behaviors and spiritual beliefs are not exempt from criticism. 

I think people should consider Tweek’s role in the Creek relationship more. We know Craig has a very calming effect on Tweek and is the more down to earth of the two. But Tweek also provides balance to the relationship by being much more outwardly emotional and empathetic than Craig is. As shown in Tweek x Craig, he’s great at understanding and communicating feelings and I think this side of him is a major reason he’s such a good actor. 

Craig is the exact opposite. He’s apathetic, deadpan, poor/uncomfortable with communicating his feelings, far from affectionate, blunt, and dismissive of most people and their feelings. When he’s NOT being completely apathetic, he’s probably being aggressive. These traits most likely come from his dad encouraging masculine behavior in Craig since all of these traits are stereotypical masculine behavior and we know, from Tweek x Craig, masculinity is important to Thomas and probably Craig as well. 

Despite these traits being learned behavior, I also think they are a part of who Craig is and unlikely to change. Being outwardly uncaring comes naturally to him (something I can relate to). While this may sound like an unappealing attitude in a partner, Tweek appreciates Craig for who he is and enjoys the positive sides to Craig’s behavior: he’s calm and unlikely to panic or end up in dangerous situations in the first place. 

Tweek is empathetic and understanding enough to not need or demand that  Craig be more affectionate. Tweek knows Craig cares about him regardless of what Craig shows on the outside. When Tweek gave Craig a speech about how much he means to him, he didn’t expect something similar in return and was satisfied with Craig silently joining hands with him in the end. When there is something related to feelings that NEEDS to be communicated between the two, Tweek is good enough at doing so that he can compensate for Craig’s emotional constipation and encourage Craig to be more open when the situation demands it. 

This is how I interpret their relationship at least. They work in a way that’s much deeper and more endearing than “Craig calms Tweek down so they’re in love”. 

Model fat positive behavior for kids. Don't engage in negative talk about fat bodies, especially your own. Teach kids that it's ok to be fat

The Ascendant

The ascendant is the sign that was rising on the horizon at the exact moment that we were born. Also known as the rising sign, it is our persona and operates as a mask that we reach for when we’re entering new situations, meeting new people, etc. It is the set of behaviors that we learned growing up that could help us navigate the world, and the lens through which we greet others. Often times it is related to the type of child our parents wished us to be.

Aries ascendant – The learned behavior is fiery and take-charge, the native was taught to lead with their passion.

Taurus ascendant – The learned behavior is steady and serene, the native was taught to remain calm in all circumstances.

Gemini ascendant – The learned behavior is bubbly and energetic, the native was taught to engage with their environment in order learn about their surroundings.

Cancer ascendant – The learned behavior is protective and emotional, the native was taught to enter cautiously and trust their instincts.

Leo ascendant – The learned behavior is boisterous and warm, the native was taught to lead with a smile and their ego.

Virgo ascendant – The learned behavior is cool and analytical, the native was taught to dissect their environment in order to learn about their surroundings.

Libra ascendant – The learned behavior is charming and approachable, the native was taught to engage by being inquisitive and lighthearted.

Scorpio ascendant – The learned behavior is calculated and intense, the native was taught to read between the lines in any situation.

Sagittarius ascendant – The learned behavior is positive and upfront, the native was taught to be forthright and believe in themselves.

Capricorn ascendant – The learned behavior is careful and considered, the native was taught to put their best face forward in all situations, and to be wary of showing undesirable traits.

Aquarius ascendant – The learned behavior is erratic and intelligent, the native was taught to shake up their surroundings to get a feel for what’s genuine.

Pisces ascendant – The learned behavior is nebulous and changeable, the native was taught to adapt to any environment in order to fit in.

anonymous asked:

one of the girls said She hit me first about Eleanor

I obviously wasn’t there and don’t know exactly how things got started, but they had her backed against a wall - she was in a defensive posture with nowhere to go, whereas they could have turned around and walked away. So I’d say that doesn’t exactly reflect positively on the girls’ behavior AT ALL.

anonymous asked:

I just think it is inherently antifeminist to minimize my struggle to feel happy and healthy in my own body to something that is a product of internalized fatphobia and self-hatred. Weight loss in many cases is a SIDE EFFECT of positive behaviors like managing an eating disorder or exercising. Instead of criminalizing women who have lost weight and feel they have improved their lives as a result, do you think it would be more productive to support ALL women in the complex path towards wellbeing?

“When people who buy into a weight loss paradigm insist that they should get to use every fat positive space (especially those that have made it clear that they are fat positive spaces where weight loss talk is not welcome) to talk about weight loss, or the idea that a smaller body is better, that is an act of oppression. It is a victimization of a systemically oppressed group of people who have chosen to be in that space so that they can experience a few moments without messages that their bodies are wrong. 

“There is endless support in our sizeist culture for the idea that fat is bad. There is endless support for people who want to try to become less fat or not fat. Fat people are incessantly pummeled from every direction with the message that being fat is the problem (no matter what the problem actually is) and becoming thin(ner) is the answer. I think that’s bullshit (profitable bullshit, if you’re the diet industry, but bullshit nonetheless) and I create spaces where people get to have a moment’s respite from that, and I don’t apologize for it.”

— Ragen Chastain, Our Spaces, Our Rules

Life Tip: Gift Yo’ Self!

One thing I LOVE to do is buy little treats for myself and attach a message of positivity to them. Then I tuck the treat away in a place I rarely use, and wait until I find it! What a lovely gift to yourself ^_^ Examples of this are a box of tic-tacs, a roll of candy that is unlikely to melt or expire, a five dollar bill with a post-it note attached with a nice message, a little utility item I am likely to need like eye drops or nail clippers, a can of soda, or even a beer in the back of the fridge :D

It is simply the LOVELIEST THING in the world to have a down day, wear an old jacket, and inside the pocket you find… a bag of skittles with love energy attached!! Wow!! You can believe you’ll be having the best day ever after that :D How much would you be loving yourself if you had the foresight to give yourself that gift when you needed it.

Why, it gets even better! If you don’t like monetary gifts you can do simple tasks like cleaning a room before a long day at work so it smells nice when you get home late. Or, prepare a few lunches for yourself ahead of time when you normally have to go without. An easy gift to yourself is getting enough sleep for when that 6am alarm hits! You don’t need to make a dedication to uphold this behavior forever. Just gift yourself with a few nice things, here and there.

And you know, one thing I’ve found is that when I frame positive behaviors in the perspective of “gifts” rather than “health” or “habit”, it actually makes it much easier to form positive, healthy habits! Now I regularly do kind things for myself like meal prep, getting enough sleep, and prepping items I will need the night or morning before. Now when a chore needs to be done, I frame doing it as a gift to my future self so I no longer have to worry. You can believe I am regularly hit with moments of huge appreciation for myself for being so responsible. And I don’t need an anxiety of upholding a positive habit because every time I brush my teeth it is a gift to future me… that’s all it is. A gift I choose to give :) Honestly this has improved my life so much and I wish it to improve all of yours as well  💚 

Since making them TOO much isn’t really a positive behavior, their reactions might be a bit more serious than you think, so I hope you don’t mind;;

~Admin Kei

Yoosung

  • When you first joined RFA, he found himself constantly agree on your self-deprecating jokes
  • Even though he might find them funny occasionally, he actually felt somewhat sentimental on the inside
  • He knows he isn’t good enough and couldn’t change the fact that he’s weak
  • But well that took a dramatic turn after he saved you from the bomb threat
  • He’s supported by everyone in the RFA and realizes how he will be strong enough to protect you from any situation
  • He wouldn’t think less of himself anymore
  • So no matter if you make the jokes cheerfully or not, he would constantly remind you for what you did
  • “It is you who brought the change in me, MC. Try to value yourself more, okay?”
  • Will always hold your hand and gives you hugs to further reassure you

Zen

  • He was honestly taken aback when you made your first joke in the chatroom
  • Unlike Seven’s jokes yours were a bit more depressing than expected?
  • Even if he’s quite a bit insecure of himself, he would always try to think positively which results to his endless narcissism
  • He wouldn’t find them funny as long as they’re a form of self-deprecation
  • So when you made them out of habit while you’re together, he simply took ahold of your hand and kisses it
  • that successfully shuts you up for good tho
  • “Would you like me to show how much you’re worth to me, Princess?”
  • He said it in such an innocent way that you almost swoon
  • He would either trap you into a cuddle or…the other way around ;)
  • Makes sure you would never felt the need to belittle yourself

Jumin

  • “Are these…supposed to be funny?”
  • Being the director and corporate heir to the C&R Company, he obviously thinks highly of himself
  • But never expressing in a way that annoy people
  • He actually enjoys making jokes from time to time and they’re never in this kind of form
  • Kind of confused at first but eventually gets the meaning behind them
  • In order to let you tone them down, he ordered a necklace that specifically has a pendant with your name in cursive form and gave you a bouquet with exactly 11 blue roses
  • “Blue rose’s stands for how I think you are; honest, sincere and kind. The reason why I bought 11 of them was simply because you are the only women I wanted to have a commitment with, so you shouldn’t think too low of yourself from now on.”
  • <crossline>he looks away in embarrassment while you’re touched from his heartfelt comment
  • Both of you ended up with a very sweet night, as you promised not to say them aloud from now on

Jaehee

  • *inserts awkward emoji here*
  • Tbh we could probably see that she isn’t really a fan of making or even listening to jokes
  • Her self-confidence level would be at average, considering how she got the chance to be Jumin’s assistant for quite a long time
  • She would be a bit upset to see these self-deprecating jokes being told around, especially if they’re from you
  • If you went too far with them, she’ll simply tell you directly about it
  • “You shouldn’t compare yourself like that. Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to hold a party and I would probably never find what I actually wanted to do. It is your appearance that made RFA and I feel more alive than ever.”
  • In order to ease the atmosphere, she would have drag you into hanging out with her in different places to let you know how important she thinks you are
  • Loves wrapping her arms around your shoulder to comfort you!!

Seven

  • Ohhhhhh boi….
  • He would have put a surprised sticker in the chatroom
  • Didn’t really expect that you’re also that kind of person; he simply laughed for a bit in misery in response to your ‘jokes’
  • It haunts him on how much he agrees to all of them
  • Until all that fiasco related to Mint Eye is completely solved, which he realizes how he’s still a normal human being that needs someone by his side
  • So if he happens to hear you saying these awful jokes constantly in his apartment, he would simply tackle you out of nowhere
  • “It is you who brought Saeran and I back from the happiness we never thought we deserve to have. Can you see how much of an impact you are to us, to the RFA?”
  • Oh and you should be ready for the double amount of jokes and puns from him
  • Because he ain’t gonna accept all that negativity from you
  • Stop following me around omg I understand how beautiful I am now

[Image: A light yellow color block with black text that says “Remember the golden rule / Treat others how you want to be treated”]

we’re taught this as children but unfortunately some of the people on this website did not learn the lesson. if you would feel badly if people treated you the way you’re treating them then that’s a sign that there’s something wrong with your behavior.

The more I read and research on my OCPD, the more I am frustrated at trying to understand how my disorder can be debilitating. The characteristics and symptoms all seem to be positive, productive things:
-altruistic behavior to counterbalance overly critical thoughts towards others,
-obsessions without unrestricted compulsions on things like money management, time commitments, and interpersonal social ideas/intersections,
-constant obsessive thoughts on large concepts such as the infinity of the universe, black holes, linear and nonlinear time, the possibilities of parallel and alternate universes, etc…,
-perfectionism in morality,
-attempts to flesh out defragmenter thoughts to alleviate distance between self and others,
-a tendency to attempt “fixing” the self by recognizing maladaptive traits and sublimating them to adaptive traits

So I’m a worrier who tries really hard to fix the things I know I do wrong and be a good, right, and efficiently/productive person. I think things through thoroughly before acting. I do not understand what’s harmful about any of that.

And then the books hit me with things like:
- “OCPD people often see what are in fact symptoms as valid and valuable aspects of their personality.”
- “…consists of more thought than action; magical thinking where hope is confounded with achievement; contemplation without implementation; making practice runs in preparation for making a move without ever actually making a move…”
- “…flattening of effect that is due to the conviction that a great leader should never become emotional = impulsive = careless.”
- “…the irrational conviction that the more things change (the more change are made) the more things stay the same.”
- “…an inbuilt reluctance to become openly angry believed to = being unacceptably bellicose;…” [bellicose: demonstrating aggression and willingness to fight]
- “…and indecisiveness fueled by the belief that given time crisis’ take care of themselves, and active intervention at times of crisis can only complicate things.”

Oh and let’s also not forget:
- “…some have insight to the point that they struggle with themselves about their attitudes… They mostly feel compelled to respect these attitudes, though they recognize and understand that they are acting foolishly neurotic to the point that they are unnecessarily isolating themselves from loved ones.”

Or my personal favorite:
- “That said, many of the compulsions and obsessions in OCPD do tend to be ego-syntonic… along the lines not of ‘I am compulsive’ but of ‘I am a good parent, even a hero’;…”


Fuuuuuuuuuck.

(Edit: This post is okay to reblog if you have OCPD or another personality disorder with identifying symptoms as mentioned above. Self diagnosed perfectly okay, but please have done genuine research. Personality disorders have symptoms that can seem like every day issues, but to be pd are experienced at an extreme level. *****It’s pretty annoying to be struggling and get a reblog with a tag or comment along the lines of “omg this is so me” “I totally have this”. This is not a cutesy personality test. This is real life. Don’t reblog unless you need this.)

Something Familiar This Way Comes (Part 3)

Tony was in a panic. He’d ask what the heck Bucky had meant, except he wasn’t an idiot. He knew about interdimensional travel, even if he himself didn’t specialize in that area of magic or science.

No, what Tony really needed to clarify was Bucky’s intent towards him.

What kind of person swore to take care of a stranger so cavalierly?

It just didn’t make any sense.

Tony flinched as Bucky reached out to touch his forehead. Bucky hummed as he felt Tony’s temperature. “You feel normal, but you’re looking a little pale.” Bucky dropped his hand from Tony’s forehead and grabbed Tony by the elbow. He helped Tony off the table and guided him toward the staircase out of Bucky’s lab.

“Let’s get some food in you. Stevie and I weren’t feeding you enough it looks like.”

“You were feeding me fine,” Tony blurted out the truth. He mentally cursed himself. He shouldn’t be encouraging Bucky’s crazy behavior with positive reinforcement, but he was just so confused by the situation.

Bucky nodded, still guiding Tony up the stairs and into the kitchen. He had Tony seat himself at the kitchen table and then rummaged through the cupboards.

Steve meanwhile locked up the lab then took a seat across from Tony at the table.

Tony wringed his hands in his lap as a voice in his head shouted for him to flee, but he was like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. He just couldn’t move.

Bucky set down a cup of hot chocolate in front of Tony. “Here. You might be going through shock. Something warm will help your system adjust.”

Tony nodded numbly and took the cup in his between his hands. Warmth seeped through his palms and up his arms.

He sighed and brought the cup to his lips.

“I prefer coffee,” he muttered then took a sip. Delicious and sweet cocoa danced on his tongue. He hadn’t lied when he said he prefered coffee, but Bucky’s hot chocolate was an excellent temporary replacement. Tony downed half of the mug.  

Bucky banged pots and pans as he got to work cooking some sort of meat for Tony.

Steve winced with each bang and looked like he wanted to get out of his chair and help, but one glance at Tony and he remained in his seat.

He was probably waiting to catch Tony if he fainted or something ridiculous like that. They may not have been close, but Tony had picked up that Steve was the kind of person who would fret over stranger if he thought they were in trouble.

Tony might even be tempted to call Steve a nice guy, if Tony hadn’t met plenty of nice guys before who always turned out not to be nice at all.

Tony squeezed his mug at the many memories that came to mind.

“Are you okay?” Steve’s penetrating gaze roved over Tony. “You looked like you were in pain.”

“I’m fine,” Tony responded instinctively.

“You can tell Steve anything.” Bucky poked at a slab of meat with a spatula then flipped the meat over in the pan even though it still wasn’t cooked on the one side. “He’s very good about keeping secrets, gives pretty good advice, and will always be in your corner when you need him.”

“I’m sure,” Tony said.

Bucky stopped in the middle of cooking. He stared at Tony, tapping the spatula against his hip, then like some cartoon character, he flung the spatula over his shoulder, letting the tool clatter to the ground. Bucky marched up to Tony and crouched in front of him. Bucky splayed his hands on Tony’s knees as he looked Tony in the eye.

“I know this is a lot to take in, and I know it’s even harder because you tend to have trust issues-”

“Okay, that,” Tony pointed at Bucky, “is one of the many things that makes this whole situation weird. You’re talking and acting like you know me when you don’t know anything about me.”

“I’m an interdimensional traveler, Tony. I have seen-”

“Many versions of me,” Tony interrupted. “I know, or I can guess at least. Those versions of me though? They are not me. I am me. They are just versions of who I could have been under different circumstances. You don’t know who I am in this dimension–in our dimension, so do me a favor and stop talking like you do.”

Tony tensed at the end of his spiel. Bucky just looked up at him with wide curious eyes, which only made Tony’s muscles curl and knot even more.

He desperately pushed down the fear that Bucky was going to backhanded him or hit him in some manner, but his hands still gave a minute tremble when Bucky squeezed his knees.

“Okay. I will do my best to do that, but I still want to take care of you.”

Tony’s mouth went dry and he hurriedly took a small sip of his hot chocolate. He coughed. “You don’t have to do that.”

Bucky grinned. He stood up and brushed his hand through Tony’s hair.

Tony flinched, and from the corner of his eye he saw Steve frown at him.

Bucky removed his hand, but smiled in an unperturbed manner that left Tony wondering if Bucky had noticed his reaction at all. “I know I don’t have to, but ya see, I have this philosophy that when you help someone you become responsible for them. I can’t just let you wander out of here until I know you have some place safe to go, which I have a feelin’ you don’t. Why else did I find you all beat up in the park like that? Plus, you haven’t asked me to call anyone for you yet, so…” Bucky purposefully trailed off.

“I have friends,” Tony grumbled into his mug of cocoa. “I just…it’s been a while since I talked to them. I don’t even know if I have their current phone numbers, or if they’d even want to talk to me.”

Bucky nodded sagely. “Then stay here a few days. You’ll have a warm and safe place to sleep as well as plenty of food.”

“Assuming no one burns it.” Steve looked pointedly at the pan of meat on the stove that was currently unattended.

Bucky yelped and rushed to the stove. He grabbed a second spatula out from the drawer and flipped the meat over. “You could have given me more warning, Steve.”

“You said you wanted me to give you more of a chance when it comes to cooking. The meat was only just starting to burn, so I was respecting your wishes.” Steve glanced at Tony and winked.

The corners of Tony’s mouth twitched into a reluctant smile.

Bucky cussed under his breath then turned a smile on Tony. “Please stay. I’d feel much better knowing you’re here than if you left now.”

Tony’s stomach churned with trepidation. He didn’t want to get caught in some trap or cage, but Bucky hand made an excellent point; he had nowhere to go. He didn’t even have money for a cheap motel. He’d also been living with Steve and Bucky for weeks now, and during that time they had done their best to take care of him.

Tony nodded. He’d say it was the stupidest decision he’d ever made, but unfortunately, Tony had may far more foolish choices in life.

Bucky let out a victorious whoop as he punched the air, and Steve smiled softly in acceptance.

A thread of happiness and optimism wheedled its way through Tony.

He really hoped that he’d made the right decision for once.

<<<Previous |

Road to Ruin [Chapter 6] Reader

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader
Rating: Somewhere between R and NC-17 I suppose
Synopsis: As the tension between the two best friends reaches an all-time high, Jackson concocts a plan to overcome it and move forward with his “fake girlfriend plan.” Cue a little test drive.
Author’s Note: I banged this out really quick and I’m so proud. Wow. I got really inspired and plus, I’m about to house-sit for a few days and my best friend’s wifi is so shady. So I knew I had to do this while I had the reliable connection. Hope you guys enjoy! Don’t be shy to drop into my inbox and let me know! Gif credit goes here.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

“Be honest with me: Was that the first time one of your friends said something about me?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(Only Asking on anon to not draw attention to myself.) Parent to parent: what tactics do you use to deescalate situations where Minky is acting out / hitting/ throwing things? What conversations have helped? What did it look like at 3 compared to now? Are there any resources you recommend for navigating these situations? Do you use time outs? (I'm writing this with the assumption that you don't use spanking/ physical punishment.) suggestions from your parent followers are welcome too. Need ideas

We’ve been pretty fortunate with Minky in terms of behavior. Like any kids he has his moments, but in general he’s really well behaved (even if he does know how to work our nerves). Hitting/throwing things has never really been something he did with regularity - except for around 3 ½ when he was really struggling with bedtimes and he’d get so upset about being put back in his room that he would try and hit me purely to get my attention. When he was a little, little kiddo (1?) we got the books Hands Are Not For Hitting and Teeth Are Not For Biting and those were helpful for talking about it at a young age, but he has a pretty good sense that hitting/throwing/biting/etc. just aren’t something to do.

I think the biggest issue at around the 3-4 age span for us was just figuring out healthy ways to deal with all the emotions he was dealing with for the first time. He’d sometimes just get really worked up (over any number of things) and just kind of lose it and sob and be upset/frustrated/angry for 30+ minutes. We got a couple of books to talk about that - The Feelings Book and The Angry Octopus as a couple of entry points for talking about those feelings and ways to try and work with them. The intense freakouts have subsided somewhat, but he has also learned a couple of techniques (through conversations and the books) that seem to help him. Usually what works well is some quiet time in his room, maybe turning on some music (especially if it’s not at night), a cool washcloth, and/or just sitting with one of us. We’ve tried to work with him on calming breathing techniques, but it’s just not his thing so far. I’d say toss out a bunch of ways to self-calm and see what sticks or helps on that front.

Now our biggest behavior issues mostly stem either from him not listening to us or from figuring out how to share toys/space/etc. with his brother. Most of the time if something happens we just stop him, talk to him directly about the behavior, have him apologize, and move on - but if things get out of hand, or are more serious, we do use timeouts. We’ll also sometimes take away things (mostly television time, dessert privileges, or occasionally other toys) for specific situations. Those latter two options are pretty infrequent. More often than not we can preempt the behavior issues before they escalate - so if he’s just kind of worked up/too wild/grouchy/cranky/etc. we’ll just ask him to go to his room and play quietly and he’ll do that and be back in good shape in 15-20 minutes. More than anything else, we try and focus on talking through things that come up and reinforcing good behaviors.

I’m no expert at any of this, and there are definitely days where we lose our patience with him, but with kids I think the key things are to set clear expectations, help them develop good self-management techniques, and always talk, talk, talk about things with them to find out what they’re feeling, reinforce positive behaviors, and communicate why certain rules/expectations are in place.

What else has worked for other parents?

healthful-achievement  asked:

Hey you're bird friend is beautiful! I've wanted cockatiels for years and might finally get a pair in a few months if I can! Any tips/info you want to share?

Aw thank you! It’s great that you’re finally able to get a pair of tiels, they’re such cute and fun birds to have. Piper is the first bird I’ve had but I’ll give a little advice to what I’ve learned so far.

1. You have to be patient with any bird. When I first got Piper he never let me touch him and it was difficult to teach him to step up. Patience is key. The more you work with your bird and talk to them the more they’ll be used to you and realize you’re their best friend
2. (This goes along with #1.) Never yell or pull away quickly if you’re bird bites you. I’ve never had a real issue with Piper biting but I do know what being loud is just like rewarding a bird after they do something. Yelling=Attention to them. If your bird bites you, put them back in the cage. Try your hardest not to yell. Putting them in the cage means no attention and what they did doesn’t give them a reward.
3. I recommend having birds on a pellet and vegetables&fruits diet. Seeds aren’t good for them and can decrease their health over the years. Piper has always been on a pellet diet so I really don’t know how to convert a bird that has only been eating seeds to a pellet diet.
4. Reward your bird with millet if they’ve been good! I don’t know any bird that doesn’t like millet so it’s the perfect treat to reward positive behavior.
5. Cockatiels are very dusty birds, so they need to be bathed at least once a week. I taught Piper to bathe by using millet and encouraging him to go into the water. Once he got in the water I would “flick” little droplets onto him with my fingers. It didn’t take Piper long to take a little bath. I now bathe him with a spray bottle because he refuses to step into the pie dish 😂
6. Take your bird out for at least an hour and a half a day. Piper is pretty much out any time I’m home so he gets some extra attention ;)
7. Make sure to have at least 3 toys in the cage and interact with your bird when they’re in or out of the cage so they don’t get bored or lonely.
8. This tip is very important and sometimes overlooked by bird owners. Get different sized perches for your bird! Sitting on the same sized perch is bad for their feet!
9. I recommend changing the water every day to every other day. If you wouldn’t drink it they shouldn’t!
10. If other people live with you, make sure you let your bird get used to them to. If you’re the only one playing with your bird they will be aggressive to other people which isn’t good.
11. If you don’t know if your bird can eat a certain thing, look it up. Some foods like avocado are very deadly to cockatiels.

There are probably a few things I’ve left out so feel free to ask anything else!!

Romeo and Juliet is absolutely my favorite unit to teach.

I start by dividing each class up into Capulets ad Montagues and we physically split the classroom down the middle. We establish new norms: they are feuding families and this unit will be a competition.  They spend a class period establishing family values and expectations through the creation of a family crest.

Classroom rules and behavioral expectations now come with point values. Each family earns points for various activities (good behavior, positive participation, all homework completed, highest quiz scores, etc.). Points can be lost for such nonsense as using cellphones, being disruptive, forgetting homework, etc. I add/subtract points throughout the class period on their scoreboards where they can see and self-regulate. At the end of the unit, the family with the most points earns bonus points on their final exam (and bragging rights, of course).

If a family member is being a nuisance and costing their family significant points, OR if one family member is being relied upon to do all of the participating, I reserve the right to banish them to “Mantua” (a solitary desk across the room where they work independently).  If their family earns back enough points, their banished member can return. 

Halfway though the unit, the winning family in our Family Feud  game  earns the right to an “arranged marriage” where they can steal a member of the opposing family and bring them to their family for the rest of the unit. 

While alternate between student read-alouds and reading along with the recorded stage production of Romeo and Juliet staring Orlando Bloom. 

It’s chaotic and exciting and I love it. If you have any suggestions or favorite R&J activities, feel free to send them my way!