positive statements


“Strong is sexy!”

“Healthy is sexy!”

At first glance, these seem like positive statements that promote women’s empowerment. But take a deeper look at their implications and the type of behavior that they encourage and surround. The problem here is that women’s health typically isn’t valued because health itself is important - Exercising and a balanced diet are instead promoted as methods of making women look more appealing to the public.

Women are constantly told that our sexual appeal is the most valuable part of our existence. We’re told to lose weight so that we’ll finally look sexy, to “tone” our arms so that we can be pretty while wearing tank tops, to squat so that our butts will finally look big and perky the way that boys like. Sexiness, feeling sexy and being seen by others as sexy has somehow become the height of happiness and self-satisfaction that we should all aim for at all times. Look through any women’s fitness magazine or blog and the vast majority of exercises are framed in such a way that they promise sexier curves and gorgeous figures, not actual improved health:

Instead of promoting workouts because it’ll improve our cardiovascular health, lower our blood pressure, help us get stronger or improve our muscular endurance, women are instead told “Workout so you can be hott!” Our body’s value comes directly from whether or not someone else finds us attractive.

This would be okay if it was simply one corner of the market. Hearing that message once in a while could potentially be a positive form of motivation. The problem comes from the fact that this appearance-focused rhetoric makes up the majority of women’s health circles.

As I’ve talked about before, it’s harmful and inappropriate for us to constantly equate health with a specific appearance. For the same reasons, its harmful to constantly equate health or fitness with a person’s sexiness and sexuality. It not only warps the way that we view ourselves and our own bodies (by pushing us to only value or love ourselves if we fit into this “sexy” and “healthy” paradigm that the media promotes), but it messes up the way that we interact with others.  

Remember, when women’s health is intrinsically tied to their sexuality, there are significant negative effects in our daily life:

If I wear clothing that’s appropriate for my workout, if I use proper form during an exercise, if I do anything to bring even the slightest amount of attention to my body, I risk being harassed in some form. All because my body and my active engagement in fitness are constantly sexualized in the media, and we’re all told that this is supposedly a good thing. Then if I complain, I’m either overreacting or I’m somehow responsible for the negative attention that I experience. :-/

That’s not even mentioning the effect that internalizing this message has. When we value our sexual appeal above all else, we often end up hurting ourselves:

  • Sexual appeal will often be sought at the expense of health itself. Obsessive exercise regimes, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia can develop when a person begins to value their appearance over their fitness. Health itself takes a backseat and can be compromised, since it’s deemed less important than the end goal: If you have a flat stomach, who cares if you’re starving?
  • If healthy is sexy, it’s implied that the opposite is true as well: Being unhealthy is not sexy. This is incredibly dangerous since it shames those people who do not reach the high expectations that are being thrust upon them. People who are chronically ill, living below the poverty line, have little free time, have limited energy, have other interests that take up their resources, or who may not actively engage in fitness culture for any reason - Are they doomed to never be sexy? These phrases often punish people who may not ever see themselves as healthy or strong.
  • We stop seeing the other positive benefits of our lifestyle and our bodies. Being sexy eclipses our other accomplishments. Who cares about an athlete’s skill set when she’s so pretty to look at? It turns us into nothing more than a pretty face.

So in the end, it’s perfectly 100% okay to say “I think people who run are sexy” or “I feel sexiest when I workout daily.“ But it’s not okay to ignore the culture of non-consensual sexualization that these thoughts, actions and values push onto us. And it is not okay to constantly tell women that their health and interest in fitness should primarily be used as a gateway to sexiness. Being sexy shouldn’t be seen as the sole end goal - You have more value than just your sexual appeal.

Five Positive Things

I was tagged by amzie89 and this is awesome so I guess I’ll do it 😜
Write 5 positive statements (I’m assuming about myself?) and tag a few of your followers. :)

1. I am Strong As Hell.Lol I don’t admit it much, but since we’re on this topic I might as well. I am 24 years old, a mother of two children, divorced (from an abusive ex of 8+ years), living on my own and maintaining my house by myself. I come from a family of addicts and I was the first one to break the cycle! (Yay me!☺️) My chronic illness may slow me down but I will not let it take over. Sometimes I may be too strong (like my mom) and won’t ask for help when I need it. But I am learning now 😊.

2. I am Extremely Observant. I always have been since I can remember and it has helped me learn how to do a lot of things just by looking at details. Especially in my last job- I had learned so much and been promoted a few times just from putting myself out there and learning from others in the three years I was in that position.

3. I am a Damn Good Mother. Even though I became a mother at the very young age of 18, I learned from my amazing parents and being the eldest of four sisters. I wouldn’t take any of it back. My kids are still teaching me more every day.

4. I am Proud of My (Coast Salish) Native American and Native Hawaiian Heritages. And I have a humongous loving family on both sides. It’s amazing how similar they both are and I am so grateful to have such a beautiful culture. I was born and raised with Native American and Hawaiian teachings on my Native Reservation in the PNW, but Honolulu will always be my other home.

5. My Ohana and Friends Are Everything. As I mentioned before I have a huge family, and along with my friends I am extremely blessed to have such a great support system. I never feel alone even when I am and there’s always someone who is there and willing to do anything for me when I need it.

So there you have it, those are the Five Positive Statements for today. Now, diariesofanexballerina jmfro rantsofachronicallyillsoul wh0-d0ct0r prettykitty-blr chianya

your turn! 😉✌️

anonymous asked:

So I hate Anders . I think he's terrible and unstable and whiny. That's my opinion. If you like him that's cool but why does it bother you so much if people don't like him? Everyone interprets the story differently and honestly I'm sick of seeing all the Anders is awesome posts. I just don't like him. And I never will. And it feels like you're attacking anyone with a different opinion from yours.

yeah it must be terrible for you. it’s not like people who like anders have had to move tags because of the amount of wank in it and you can’t make an anders positive post without someone telling you how shitty he is and you can’t make one positive statement without including “I KNOW HE HAS FLAWS BUT heres one thing i like about anders” to keep people from jumping down your throat. but poor you for having to deal with people who like anders defending him because you had audacity to dislike a character that the majority of the fandom hates. march on you brave soul.

Positive Statements

Once you get this, write five nice things about yourself publicly and then send this to your ten favourite followers :)  (This comes to me via chronicallypainful) (Thank you so much for tagging me!!)

1.  I am not afraid to be myself and do what is best for me. I love that I have short hair and my own style and that I voice my opinions. Yes, it can be hard to be confident at times, but I have come to realize that I love who I am and I am not afraid to show it.
2.  I have a large variety of interests. My mom raised me in an environment that encouraged me to be whoever I wanted to be. I am the girl who can cook/bake without a recipe, who will spend all day in a library, and who can also talk your ear off about sports and watch football all day while crafting and pursing pinterest. I love fashion and reality shows and have a drawer full of washi tape, and I also have a sports book collection that spans a couple of shelves. I can analyze problems and come up with creative solutions. (I don’t like to use the word “but” here, because it’s great to have lots of interest and just because they might not fall into stereotypes, that’s no reason for you not be and like several different things.)
3.  I have a couple of secret talents: I am really good at braiding hair, painting nails, and cake decorating. Before my hands began to hurt and shake, my mom would say that I was better at certain designs and lettering than she was, which is a huge compliment. I learned cake decorating from my mom who learned from her mom who taught herself by looking through bakery windows- my mom and I have done wedding and grooms cakes together. Everyone that meets me is surprised that I can braid hair because I have short hair, but I am always doing my friends’ hair, even for prom.
4.  My visual memory is much better than my conversational memory, meaning I can see rooms in complete detail from when I was a kid, even rooms that I was only in for a short amount of time. When my brain decides to cooperate, I can look at something like a piece of paper or a room, step away from it and then tell you where things were and how they were organized without looking at the paper or room again. 
5. I am really good at talking with people and interacting with strangers. I love tabling for organizations and interviewing people for articles because I get to hear amazing stories, and turns out I’m pretty good at it. Every time I table for my college, my supervisor is surprised by how many people I have interested in the college and in applying.
Now I am going to tag some awesome people who I don’t think have done one of these yet and ask them to pass it on: hellomynameismaddy,  inkwellforaheart, tinygeese, little-infinityy, purpleviolin91. If I didn’t tag you, but you still want to do it, go ahead! I love seeing all of these positive statements!

5 Positive statements
  1. I have wonderful friends from all over the world.
  2. I am healthy, and I have a nice body.
  3. I feel cute and attractive.
  4. I love my cat because he distracts me from my thoughts and make me smile.
  5. I have inspiration to do the things I like to do.

#New #pinboard! Lesson learnt: #hard #times are always around the corner, it’s up to us being ready to face them. And if we eventually got hurt, I think that writing all the good things and #positive #statements we’ve collected until now can be really, really helpful.

One of my favourite says:
“I will accept myself just as I am: a person that walks, hears and speaks, and who can be brave, no matter what his faults or lacks are”.

People are back stabbers, no matter what you do it seems like you will not please them. “We heard negative statements behind our backs”, Nadia said, “So why not make it positive?”.

This was an activity by Nadia. A paper was posted behind our backs and you should not look behind. Different people will write positive things that they see in you and now, from this simple activity, we made a difference.

you should try this ♥


This is Your Weekly Female Empowerment Post

Every week I have been featuring a photo series that makes a positive statement about women. The first tow posts were body positive and all about loving your curves and realizing you do not have to live up to society’s impossible standards put on you by the media, you can read them here and here. The most recent post was about the power of women’s bodies and the amazing things it can do, you can view it here

This post is all about celebrating women of all colors. Not only does the media tell us that skinny women are idea, they also reinforce the idea that thin white women are a cut above the rest. As a Native American woman I have an affinity for darker skin, and the community that I am a part of in NYC is filled with beautiful woman of color. Inside that circle we celebrate one another, but outside of that group we are bombarded by images that tell us that we are somehow lacking. 

There are several issues that add depth to that main problem, black and brown women have varying skin tones, hair, and body types. Women like me with lighter skin and “exotic” looks are often sexualized beyond the normal objectification women have come to accept as normal. With the black community, girls with lighter skin are often told they are prettier than their darker skin sisters. African American woman are told that their natural hair is unprofessional and less desirable. This needs to stop. 

First of all, all of us minority women are goddesses. My tan skin and green eyes are not for any man to fetishize. A woman should not have to decide how she chooses to wear her hair based on what society deems as appropriate for the workplace. Lighter skin is considered more beautiful because it is closer to that of a Caucasian’s, and that mentality is disgusting. 

Dark skin,light skin, thick or thin, black and brown bodies are gorgeous. Natural hair, braids, dark or light eyes, we women are beautiful and not to be constantly sexualized. Our worth does not come from the approval of a man, and how beautiful we feel should not be decided by what we see on a billboard. Eventually I want to see ads and magazines filled with women who look like me, and that is what I will be advocating for, but for now it is up to women of color to support and lift up the other women around us. We need to remember that we are not in competition with each other, and correct ourselves when we conform to society’s views. 

anonymous asked:

My opinion on Anders is pretty neutral, I see his good and bad and don't really sway toward either the love or hate side. However, I'd like to say that I respect you for the way you defend him. It would be so easy to tell people to simply fuck off, but you're pretty calm and logical when presenting your defense. I mean you shouldn't really have to defend yourself for liking a fictional character, but there are just lots of shit people that'll explode if you don't agree with their every opinion.

it’s a little astounding the amount of vitriol anders fans have to deal with on a frequent basis. we’ve had to move tags, you can’t make an anders positive post without someone hijacking it and making it offensive, you have to preface every positive statement with something like “i know he has flaws” so someone doesn’t jump down your throat, he’s constantly thrown under the bus for the sake of propping up other ships and characters… so honestly i’m surprised i don’t lose my cool either??? i’m rambling now, but i want to say thank you for this message. it means a lot to me because i’m never sure how i’m coming off to people when i’m making an argument, and i’m glad that even from a neutral standpoint people see me that way. c:

Tao rumored to have sold off his Maserati Granturismo in preparation to leave EXO

Amidst his withdrawal rumours from EXO, Tao‘s supercar has been spotted for sale online on a used car website, Bobae Dream.

According to many fans, the car that is in question is the same white Maserati Granturismo Sport 4.7 MC, an Italian brand that Tao has been driving in Korea. This 2012 model was initially sold for the price of 243 million won (approximately $220,000 USD) in Korea.

On the website, the dealer offered the car for 165 million won, which was the price sold in September of 2014. Along with the description that the car’s mileage only records 8,600Km, the dealer emphasised the point that the car originally belongs to a famous idol member.

Fans believe Tao is selling his belongings in Korea for his departure preparations. Previously, he has made fans even more anxious on his withdrawal possibility after his father’s official statement and changing his Instagram profile. With such speculations, more fans are disappointed but assured that there is a higher possibility that Tao will be leaving the group.

Although SM Entertainment nor Tao released an official statement regarding the rumors, Tao was spotted heading to the United States, specifically California, undergoing treatment for his injuries.