My friends. I had to squash this down to a pretty low quality cause it’s uh a little long,
so,, sorry, about that.
also my mom sneezed while I was recording isn’t she cute
this is mainly for @acadjonne and @blinded-by-fairy-lights because they liked the last one and implicitly encouraged me to do another so yeh. but if you’re reading this you can consider this a custom, specially made, handcrafted medley just for you.
You were not the most graceful girl at
Hogwarts. You had been known to stub your toe, burn yourself brewing potions or
simply trip over your own feet and fall. You were the only 6th year that still
regularly had skinned knees. You were a klutz.
So when Sirius heard you squeak behind him on
the stairs, he automatically reached for you to grab your hand, but it was too
late. You tumbled down a rather long and very hard flight of marble stairs,
landing in an inelegant pile at the bottom of the steps.
Sirius rushed to your side and attempted to
wake you, gently tapping your cheeks and calling your name. When your eyes
didn’t even flutter, Sirius picked you up bridal style and rushed you to the
A/N: I feel like this is bad, so I’m sorry, but I’ve had no motivation to write. Fucking writer’s block messes with you, seriously I wrote a really dramatic version of my friends story about a girl losing er flip flop to try and inspire myself and it did not work.Also, I was about half way through proof reading this when I got bored and just stopped.
Requested: (I combined two because I’m just that lazy… and uninspired)
@gingergremlin: Hey, could you do a Sirius x reader (or one of the other marauders) when the reader gets injured in a quidditch match and can’t walk without crutches. during one of the marauders pranks or something one one or both breaks. Then because Sirius feels bad he said he will carry her until she is better. You can’t workout the ending 😊Sorry if the request is long, pa love your writing 💜💜
@huflerin: Im not sure if you do requests, but if you do I was wondering if you could do a young sirius black x hufflepuf/slytherin reader (like harry but hufflepuff insted of gryffindor) thats a girl. Please, and if you do it thank you.
Quidditch was by far the most popular wizarding sport in Europe, which meant you either played it or you watched it, but everybody loved it. I was a player and a damn good one as my friends put it. Being able to get on a broom and play the sport was one of favourite things to do. I loved the rush from diving down and pulling back up at the last second or the wind blowing the hair out of my face as I flew along side my friends. As soon as I had gotten to Hogwarts, I tried out for the team. It wasn’t until my third year when I finally made it, alongside my friend, James Potter. He was a chaser for Gryffindor and I was a beater for Hufflepuff. My friends always told me that I was a beater because I had a bit of a temper and that I acted a bit more like I should be in Slytherin instead of Hufflepuff. Now, in our sixth year, we were still playing and James was currently the Gryffindor captain. This meant that the celebratory post-win parties were three times as big, loud and long, as he and Sirius had them planned out days in advance.
Cis people are definitely the authority on nonbinary lives. We should listen to everything they say because they are totally objective enough to know who we are. Pink and blue must reign supreme in all things. Gendered products are a necessity of life. Cis is bliss. 👪
HAPPY APRIL 1! Pranks all around!
Don’t listen to the cis and don’t take part in their ridiculous habit of gendering of literally everything. And asking them about nonbinary people is like asking my goldfish about fine wine. They have no clue.
Being nonbinary is a priceless gift. You rock, you’re valid, and don’t ever forget it. Keep breaking that binary. ✊🌈
Think about it, Laurie. That moment he showed you that photo with him kid and a baby. Who do you think is the baby?
Laurie stood from the log, brushing her errant bangs from her eyes in irritation; her posture matching the sigh of exasperation escaping her lips.
“First of all… I don’t know what the hell that even means.”
Laurie winced at the mere memory of that night. It never got easy. No matter how many times she thought she could finally get over the sound of the slashing, the faces of all her friends, laying in those awful positions… a Halloween prank, all for her to ‘appreciate’ with her screams of terror and sorrow, it would never ever get easier. She could feel the sadness fueling her frustration, transforming it into a rage almost.
“H-he never said a word. Never showed me any photos. He just…”
Laurie felt her face grow hot, her eyes beginning to sear with the promise of tears.
“He just killed everyone. He killed my best f-friends. M-my Annie… and then he tried to kill me.”
She drew in a sharp breath, looking down briefly as she tore her hand away from her head, allowing the persistent bangs to fall back over her eyes.
“He just wants to hurt me. To kill everyone and save me for last.”
know man. Don’t you think this is a little…. Intense?” Rafinha locked his car
and turned to look at an amused Gil and an excited Neymar.
it’s only payback for what she did to him last time!” Gil was as excited as the
man behind the prank himself.
right, this is payback. Besides, it’s been over a month since she last pranked
me,” Neymar turned and gave Rafinha a look, “by telling me someone robbed her
at gunpoint and stole my brand new Ferrari that she wasn’t supposed to be
driving to begin with!” He shuddered at the memory his friends always seemed to
damn good actress I’ll tell you that.” Rafinha’s smile was wider than usual,
the couple’s shenanigans never ceased to amaze him.
“So, as I
was saying, it’s been over a month since her prank so she’ll have no idea this
is my revenge. I planned this carefully, I’m a genius. Besides,” he rested his
arms on his friends’ shoulders as they walked away from the car, “neither of
you is going to overdo it, just a nice little scare.” He pat them both on the
back and walked faster.
just wait here for your text?” Gil and Rafinha exchanged glances, doubting
Neymar’s planning skills.
turned to look at them, “it’s about 9 now so she’ll be going to bed pretty soon.”
He could easily recall his girlfriend’s night routine.
about the baby?!” Rafinha shouted at a now distant Neymar.
“I’ll take care of that!”
have you seen my cellphone?” Y/n walked into their bedroom, wearing her usual
are you sure you didn’t leave it downstairs?” Neymar was testing his acting
skills, trying to hide his amusement but also the cellphone that was underneath
the mattress on his side of the bed. The last thing he wanted was his
girlfriend calling the cops on his friends. That would turn into a very
Are you sure Estella doesn’t have it? She’s been loving hiding stuff lately.”
turned to look at the giggling 10-month old laying next to him in bed and
dramatically covered her ears, “don’t you DARE accuse my princess of such thing!”
rolled her eyes but she couldn’t help but smile, those two were definitely partners in
crime. The playful mood quickly stopped after they heard a door being slammed
on the first floor. “Neymar!
Amor! What was that?” she whisper-shouted, her panic becoming evident right
like someone…. broke in.” More loud sounds continued coming from downstairs, they
could hear some voices now as well. Muffled, male voices. Neymar wasted no time
and rushed to lock the bedroom’s door. Y/n got into action herself, taking the
covers from the bed and placing them on the closet’s floor, creating a cushion
for the very confused baby girl. Neymar reached inside the closet for a hidden
baseball bat and carefully closed the door, leaving the child out of view. He
was certainly impressed with his girlfriend’s quick thinking.
approached their bedroom and Y/n couldn’t hide her panic any more. “I already
called the cops! They’re on their way!” Neymar couldn’t help but pity her, she
sounded pathetic. “Shut up
and open the door! Now!” They tried to force themselves in, Y/n held on to the
baseball bat. “Go away!” Her voice cracked. She sounded and looked like a
She turned to look at Neymar and he could see the distress in her
eyes, even though he was more concerned about his daughter’s closet shenanigans.
She was awfully quiet there. He
quickly stood up and gave her a cautious look before opening the door. She
hurriedly ran and hid behind their bed.
Stop! Stop! What are you doing?! What do you guys want?!” Neymar shouted as the
intruders walked into the room. Y/n closed her eyes as hard as she could, her
heartbeat resounding in her ears, her lungs struggling to catch her breath. “Please!!
Not the closet!! Don’t go into the closet!!” his voice was pleading. Her heart
stopped, her body felt numb. She reached for the baseball bat that she had
carelessly thrown when she ran.
quickly jumped up with her weapon in hand only to find Rafinha and Gil close to
tears from holding their laughs for so long, next to a smiling Neymar who has
holding a giggling Estella. The deafening silence turned into a chaos of loud
laughter from the boys, as Neymar sang his victory and ran around the room with
a now full-on laughing Estella.
threw the baseball bat on the floor. “Oh you’re gonna pay for this. I’m gonna
get you back so bad you won’t even know what hit you.”
A/N: I love Harry Potter and I love Criminal Minds, so I present a Hogwarts!AU. Tell me what you think! Also thank you so much for every like, reblog, and comment on my last fic Adventures in Babysitting. You’re all so kind!
Summary: The one in which the BAU are all Hogwarts professors.
The Great Hall was abuzz with excitement for the weekend. The enchanted ceiling was all blue skies and sunshine, perfect for an afternoon on the grounds. You knew that lessons would be filled with talk of weekend plans.
“Good morning, Professor Y/L/N!” a group of your third year Hufflepuffs called out as you made your way up to the High Table. You stopped for a moment, asking your excited students about what they were up to this weekend.
“Don’t forget about your Care for Magical Creatures assignment,” you warned playfully. You had assigned a short essay on Hippogriffs at your last lesson. They bid you goodbye with laughing promises of at least E worthy essays.
You settled into your seat at the High Table next to the potions professor.
“Good morning,” Rossi said in between bites of sausage and eggs.
“I hear you’re teaching the sixth years how to brew Amortentia today, Rossi?” you ribbed, exchanging mischievous glances with Garcia who sat in the seat by the empty chair next to you. You remember the tittering excitement in the classroom when you had learned about that potion in your own sixth year. Amortentia had always smelled like peppermint, coffee, and old books to you.
Rossi made a disgruntled noise.
“If I catch anyone sneaking love potions out of my classroom they’re in for a weekend of scrubbing cauldron bottoms in the dungeon. Without magic,” he warned, pointing his fork at Garcia sternly. “Even you Professor Garcia.”
“Oh David,” the Divination professor said as she shook her head condescendingly, “I don’t need any potions to get my Chocolate Thunder.”
“Speaking of your Chocolate Thunder…” You pointed at the man walking up to the professor’s table, leaving a trail of giggling students behind him. You let out a laugh as soon as you realized just why they were laughing at the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.
“You’re looking good today, Morgan,” a smirking Luke called out. Derek shot the Astronomy teacher a half-confused, half-irritated look.
“What is up with you guys? Gideon said the same thing when I bumped into him outside of the greenhouses.” He obviously hadn’t quite caught what was so out of the ordinary.
“Professor Morgan,” Headmaster Hotchner said in his usual no-nonsense tone, “why are your eyebrows blue and yellow?”
Derek paused for a moment before his hands went flying up to his face. A laughing Prentiss transfigured a cup into a hand mirror and passed it to her colleague. As he moaned about his colorful eyebrows, you caught a whiff of that peppermint and old book smell.
You turned towards the History of Magic professor who just slipped into the seat next to you. He flashed you a small smirk before sipping at his freshly poured coffee.
“Professor Reid,” you asked amusedly, “you wouldn’t happen to be the reason why the Head of Gryffindor has Ravenclaw-colored eyebrows, would you?”
“He enchanted all the books in my office to sing Gryffindor is the Best House, Ravenclaw sucks over and over whenever I tried opening them. I had to retaliate,” he admitted matter-of-factly. You shook your head affectionately at the infamous competition between the two Heads of Houses.
Every year, Professors Reid and Morgan engaged in an all out prank war. While the competition was mainly between the two professors, it always pulled in the participation of the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students ready to defend their Head’s position as Hogwarts’ Prank King.
After winter holiday, every person within the walls of the castle was on alert, knowing that at any second, they could fall into a trap placed by a member of those two Houses.
It may have been a dispute between the brave and the wise Houses, but it was very easy to get caught in the crossfire. One year, the usually even-tempered Professor Lewis had put the entire fifth year Gryffindor class in detention for rigging the hallway to the Arithmancy classroom with Dungbombs meant for the Ravenclaws on their way to that class. They thought the Professor would already be in the room and therefore out of the line of fire, but she had been running late and was hit with the smelly bombs as well.
“I hope I don’t get caught in another trap,” you mused, thinking back to the Peruvian Instant Darkness powder incident of last year. Derek had begged for forgiveness, saying he couldn’t have possibly known that Spencer would be with you in your office instead of his own when the owl delivered the package.
You felt pressure on your right hand.
“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ll protect you,” Spencer said only half-jokingly, brushing his thumb against your skin. You felt a warm tingle travel up your spine and fought to keep the blush off your face. Garcia’s suggestive look from behind Spencer did not help one bit. He gave your hand one last squeeze before angry footsteps approached your side of the table.
“Hello, Professor Morgan, you’re looking lovely,” Spencer greeted mildly, not even bothering to hide the smug look on his face.
“You better watch your back, pretty boy,” Derek warned, Ravenclaw eyebrows set menacingly, before storming off to JJ, probably hoping her expertise in Charms could rid him of any evidence of Reid’s prank.
“As resident expert of Magical Creatures, would you be able to tell me if we had any Billywig hives in the Forbidden Forest?” Spencer asked you innocently.
“I refuse to be an accomplice to your crimes,” you deadpanned, earning a whine from the Ravenclaw professor.
“It’s not like Aurors will be kicking down the castle doors to arrest me for making Morgan float a little.”
You shook your head firmly before going back to your breakfast, refusing to think about how cute a pouting Spencer was.
You met Spencer Reid on your first ride on the Hogwarts Express. He had been sitting alone in a compartment, surrounded by books you recognized as first year school books just like yours. He offered you a seat and as soon as you mentioned your Muggleborn status he had launched into a lengthy explanation of everything he knew about Hogwarts. Which was a lot.
But when you asked him about Quidditch and flying, he admitted he probably wasn’t the best person to ask about the Wizarding sport and took you to find his friend Derek, who was in third year at the time.
On that train ride you were introduced to Spencer’s two closest friends. The three had grown up together in the Wizarding world. Spencer was a half-blood who was basically raised by his mother alone. Derek came from a long line of wizards and Penelope had been adopted by a magical family after her Muggle parents passed away.
Your initial fear of meeting these older students was quickly washed away by their warm welcome. The colorful third year you’d later fondly refer to as Penny was the first to greet you at the Hufflepuff table after your Sorting.
Though you were sorted into different houses, the friendship between you and Spencer blossomed throughout your Hogwarts years.
One time, a horrid Slytherin boy had been insulting your Muggle heritage and Spencer had stuck him onto a wall in retaliation until he apologized and swore he would leave you alone.
You had convinced yourself that your feelings for Spencer were purely platonic ever since a strange almost-kiss occurred in fifth year. You were just friends that had an awkward moment, you told yourself often. Your little feelings were purely a result of a strong friendship and raging teenage hormones. And you believed it.
Until the day Professor Rossi taught that Godric-forsaken Amortentia lesson. You walked into that lesson and the most comforting scent wafted throughout the dungeon. You thought nothing of it as the lesson went on and didn’t realize anything was amiss until that same exact smell appeared in the library well after your potions lesson.
Your stomach sank when a smiling Spencer settled into the seat across from you, animatedly talking about some discussion he had with his Ancient Runes instructor, Professor Blake.
You vowed to keep your feelings a secret, never wanting to ruin the friendship between you two.
The only person you ever told was Penelope, which had been an accident really. You had both been accepted as Hogwarts professors and had a celebratory night of drinks. Too many drinks, in your opinion.
Your girl’s night at the Leaky Cauldron had turned into an all night drunken confessional about your feelings for your best friend over bottles and bottles of Firewhiskey.
When Spencer and Morgan left the Auror force to teach at Hogwarts, you were more than happy to have your closest friends working with you. The four of you and the rest of the teaching staff had actually become quite the tight knit family over the years.
A family that often teased you about what was apparently your obvious secret relationship with the History of Magic professor. You cursed Penelope and her habit of sharing everything with Morgan. You often squashed the rumors before they could reach Spencer, fearing he’d find out and reject you, making an awkward mess out of everything.
You had been very good at keeping your feelings a secret from your best friend and you were determined to keep it that way.
You were walking down the halls of the castle, on your way to Garcia’s for afternoon tea. Professor Callahan was 6 months pregnant and about to go on maternity leave, so Garcia wanted all of the female professors to spend as much time together before they had to say goodbye to their friend. You heard the temporary substitute for Kate’s Muggle Studies class was quite good, but it was still sad to have a friend leave.
As you turned the corner, you collided with an invisible barrier.
“What in Merlin’s name…?” You walked in another direction in order to get around the obstacle, but found yourself trapped in that one spot. You glanced up and groaned at the source of the barrier.
Enchanted mistletoe. Damn.
“Finite incantatem!” The invisible barrier stayed stubbornly in place. You were royally screwed.
You panicked at the sight of Spencer walking towards you.
“Reid, no don’t come any -”
You brought your hands up to your face in frustration, doing nothing more than pointing up to the ceiling when Spencer asked you what was wrong.
“Was this one of yours?” you asked, positive that this was part of the prank war.
“Do you honestly think I’d get caught in my own trap, Y/N?” He glared up at the sprig of mistletoe above your heads. “This is too unpredictable of a trap for Derek to set for me personally. I just happened to be in the hallway by chance. It had to be one of the students.”
The two of you tried multiple spells to get out of the trap. You had even tried setting the mistletoe on fire, but all that came out of that was a couple of singed eyebrows for Spencer. You were at it for a while, frustration building after each failed spell.
“What about finite?” Spencer asked, laughing as if he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that before.
“Hate to break it to you, genius, but that was the first spell I tried. Obviously it didn’t work.” You tapped your wand against the palm of your hand impatiently.
Spencer cast the spell, despite your words, sighing when it didn’t have any effect. You frowned, poking him in the chest with your wand.
“Do you doubt my ability to cast a fourth year level spell?”
“No, of course not! I just - I was just - I’m just desperate to get out of here!”
“Well, why don’t I just kiss you?” you blurted out. “L-like on the cheek! You know not an actual - I’ve kissed you on the cheek before! I -”
You were silenced by Spencer swooping in to press a swift kiss to your right cheek. He pulled away unfazed, waving his hand around, only to hit the invisible barrier once again.
You cleared your throat, ignoring the Flitterby moths in your stomach. It was a simple press of lips to cheek, for Godric’s sake! It wasn’t like he had grabbed you by the waist and kissed you passionately like a starved man!
“So that didn’t work.” You managed to keep your voice even and nonchalant, despite your inner rambling.
The two of you stood in silence, poking uselessly at the invisible wall with your wands.
“Well, well, well… What do we have here?” You groaned at the sound of Morgan’s smug voice. He appeared around the corner, grinning like Peeves with a water balloon at the two of you under that damned plant. “While I can’t take credit for this, I’ve gotta hand it to whoever did.”
“Morgan, just get us out of here,” Spencer begged. “I’ll grade your next set of Defense essays for you!”
“Tempting.” Morgan rubbed his chin, taking ages to contemplate the offer.
“Come on, Derek!” You jabbed at the barrier, sending sparks out of the end of your wand. “I was supposed to meet Pen and the girls 30 minutes ago!”
“You would think that two people as smart as yourselves would know the easiest way to get out of this.”
“We already tried that.” You rolled your eyes. “Just help us.”
“Oh come on, if it’d been a real kiss we wouldn’t be here right now,” Morgan argued.
You could basically feel the goading behind his words and you knew Penelope’s matchmaking tendencies had rubbed off on him.
“Derek Morgan…” You hoped he would take your tone as a warning.
“I don’t want to kiss Y/N for real! We’re just friends. And I know there has to be some loophole to this! It’s a simple prank from the Weasley joke shop. There has to be another way,” Spencer practically shouted, bursting into a long ramble about how he refused to be outsmarted by a couple of leaves and berries.
But you were still caught up on the whole ‘I don’t want to kiss Y/N’ part…
You felt a combination of hurt and resignation swirl inside of you.
You knew this was just a platonic friendship. You knew he only cared for you as a friend. But he had never said it in a manner that completely denounced any possibility of mutual feelings.
You glanced at an incredulous-looking Morgan. Perhaps he thought his teasing would end in a completely different way. One that ended with bringing two of his closest friends together.
He was wrong.
You had to get out of there. Fast.
You grabbed the front of Spencer’s teaching robes and pulled him down to your height, sealing your lips against his.
It lasted all but a second before Reid ripped himself away from you, a shocked expression on his face.
Your cheeks burned and you kept your gaze trained at the wrinkled spots on Spencer’s robes, unable to make eye contact with the man you just kissed.
“I- I, uh, I need to go.”
Spencer was gone before you could even look up, the echoes of his footsteps fading away quickly.
You bit your lip, feeling your eyes water with tears of embarrassment. You brushed them away roughly, smiling hollowly at the man still standing there with you. He reached out, concern etched on his face.
“Sweetheart…” he muttered, about to take a step forward.
“Stop! Just… just don’t get any closer. You might get trapped here with me.” You laughed humorlessly. “You wouldn’t want to have to kiss me, right?”
You turned away from your concerned friend, walking towards Penelope’s private quarters, hoping that an afternoon with your girls would erase the bitterness swelling up in your chest.
You prayed to Merlin you hadn’t just lost one of the most important people in your life.
Hope you enjoyed this little piece! I know it wasn’t a very happy ending so I was thinking of doing a part two… Let me know what you think! I’d really appreciate any comments, questions, or requests ♥
Hi! Can I ask a Gabe x reader where he costantly pranks her? She’s unruffled and kind so she doesn’t mind at all but when he cross the line, making her believe that Lucifer is coming back for her, she explode, for good and refuses to talk to him again. He’ll try to make it up to her in his on way: saying that he’s sorry in the most creative ways. XD He’s such a dork…
Flash fam with s/o who can stop time for short time periods:
Barry would seriously consider begging to get you into the Justice League. Because you’re so freaking useful and he’ll get to keep you close, and he’ll have a better chance of protecting you around the clock. Plus he’ll think you’ll be helpful to stop time so he can run away quickly when he gets in trouble with Bruce.
Or even help position the perfect prank.
But he’ll ask you sweetly to stop time for the romantic parts like if you find out you’re expecting and he just wants to stay in that moment forever, but your short time limit will be enough for him.
Did I forget to mention that he won’t be able to run away from you if he fucks up? Like forgets the trash? Cool stop time, put it in his hand.
Bonus Sin: If you’re teasing him you could stop time and just watch him beg.
Or your doing a lap dance and he’s not allowed to touch and you see him move, you can just freeze time.
Or if you’re giving him head and you need a minute.
Oh god if you thought pranking was already up his alley, then prepare for trouble and make it double, or triple if Robins in on it too.
Honestly you’re the best with him. He forgets something? Homework, gym clothes, sleeps in class you’ve got his back allowing him to stay in your reality as the rest of the class stays still as he speeds home to grab his stuff.
He accidentally ate all the ice cream again, boom his mom’s glaring at a magically refilled container, while telling him off.
It may not be much to you but it’s a whole world of opportunities for him and he’s going to make you know it. He like Barry would love you to freeze frame sweet moments. But if Roy’s pulling an embarrassing face or Conner got his foot stuck in a bucket he’ll BEG you to stop time so he can get the camera.
Dating Wally comes with atleast getting his humour so he doesn’t actually need to ask, he’s more checking if you’re feeling up to it.
You need a snack during sex ? Stop time, eat his snack, pretend it didn’t happen.
Don’t feel bad, he’s got a stash of food under his bed.
Oh sweet Jesus.
The team love you they really do but God damnit if you stop time one more time for Bart’s pranks or goofiness, they might cry.
He’ll more often than not ask you to stop time when he cannot think of something “Bartish” to say. Like goddamn, what is the word he was thinking of? It’ll take him 4 time stops before he gives up.
Or if he needs more time to finish a mission you bet he’ll need you right there. If you’re not on the team though, he’ll try and get you to stop time the entire time you’re together. Then he’ll try to convince Nightwing to get you on the team. And if that doesn’t work he’ll just bug them until they do.
Bonus Sin: he’ll probably get sentimental during sex and ask you to stop time just to last that bit longer. Then tell you that your love is so powerful it stops time. Then the team will be hearing all about how powerful your love is. (I guess Wally would do that too but I can see Bart just saying it at really inappropriate times like when you’re fighting a tough villain and he’ll be like “OUR LOVE CAN STOP TIME SO WE CAN STOP YOU!”)
Are you still doing prompts ? I would love to see Regina's reaction to Emma giving her a puppy for Christmas! You are truly talented!!!
Thank you for the compliment. I greatly appreciate it. XO
Here is your drabble:
“I positively loathe pranks, Emma,” Regina told her girlfriend, narrowing her eyes in suspicion at the large box that the blonde had very gently scooted in front of her, “unless of course it is at someone else’s expense, most preferably your mother’s.”
The two had taken the night of Christmas Eve to open their presents for one another in private, and would share the following morning with Henry. They sat in Regina’s study, side by side on the cozy couch in front of the fireplace, and exchanged the three or four gifts each that they had gotten one another.
It had finally come down to one.
“It’s not a prank, babe,” Emma laughed out. “I swear.”
“The box is moving!” Regina exclaimed. “And there are holes punched along the top. If these are not tell-tale signs of a prank, then I don’t know what is.”
“Since I told the story of the screaming lady from my dream, I might as well pile on all the less significant weird shit that has happened since then. Three stories are very recent, having taken place in January, while the first happened in early November.
I was not home alone, though I’m positive this wasn’t a prank for two reasons; my mom was asleep and my sister wouldn’t dare make loud noises on purpose while she was sleeping, as she can be very wrathful when woken, and two, the people sleeping over were much too kind and soft in manner for a prank like that. I was attending a comic convention over the weekend and had my girlfriend and a friend of hers from university staying over so they could attend with me. We would drive across the US-Canada border in the mornings and return at night to sleep.
I don’t remember which night exactly, but I was in the shower minding my own business when I very clearly heard screaming from the living room, where we slept. I stopped and listened; it sounded like a girl was being viciously attacked by someone or something, not saying any words, just screaming in the hope of catching someone’s attention. I was not only terrified, but confused. Who would be screaming like that? Why only one of them? Why would my sister let anyone risk waking our mom at this hour?
The screaming died abruptly before I thought to turn off the water so I might hear better, and when I got out of the shower no one gave any indication that there had been loud noises, screaming or otherwise, in my absence, or that they had tried to prank me. They were all snuggled up in bed, nearly asleep or already asleep, and I still have no idea what happened or who screamed that night.
More recently, I was attending a concert with a group of friends, caught up in the music and excitement (as would be expected), when I felt suddenly dizzy and uncomfortable. I hadn’t had a chance to react when I heard a voice (definitely male, which puzzled me because I had been under the impression that if I was indeed being haunted, the spirit was female) scream, “QUIET!!!” loud and clear over the rest of the sounds. For a split second afterward, all noise around me died completely and then roared back to life like nothing had ever happened. I was quite frightened and uneasy for a few minutes after that, then decided all the lights and noise were messing with my head. When I think about it now, I can still hear the voice clear as day, like somebody was screaming right behind me but through the whole stadium as well, and I get chills.
About a week ago, while I was at work cleaning the washrooms, I saw a reflection on one of the stall doors while it was swinging shut. Not my own; the door wasn’t angled toward me, and I still have a pretty good mental picture because I was so scared I swear my heart stopped beating for a second. It’s quite difficult to forget things you see in moments of fear that overwhelming. She had straight-across bangs, hair so dark brown it was almost black, and her complexion was oddly green in spite of the grey paint on the door. She was wearing something light in colour, perhaps yellow or off-white, and appeared to be sitting with her hands on her lap. She was smiling, and looked just like – you guessed it – the screaming lady. Needless to say I did not finish cleaning the washroom.
Three days ago, I was standing alone in the front lobby area of my workplace, waiting on party guests to arrive so I could sign them in, and I heard someone say, “Excuse me,” so close to my left ear that I, being a skittish person, jumped back a couple steps. It wasn’t even said aggressively as though I was standing in someone’s way and they didn’t want me there, but more like they’d been standing around for a few minutes and wanted my attention. Except, no one was there. At all. I was alone up front, and I booked it the fuck out of there.
Now, as an honourable mention: while I was typing this, my mom called me upstairs to ask me what I was doing. I told her I was sitting on my bed writing. She asked what the thumping was. I did not know. Her boyfriend told me he’s been hearing it the past two nights and wanted to know if it was the cats. The cats, I knew, had been asleep on the bed. One was in my lap and one against my knee prior to me going downstairs, and both had been that way for at least 20 minutes. So I went quiet and listened. After a few seconds of silence, I heard four distinct thumps, like someone was knocking on the floor right above us. I opened the door at the bottom of the stairs so I could go investigate, and both cats were sitting right outside waiting. They weren’t even up here to make the noise I just heard. I want a full spiritual cleansing or something.”
To anyone claiming that today’s announcement of both Steven Universe (and Uncle Grandpa as well with regards to the announcement) is part of an early April Fools joke, I’ve got to firmly disagree. What would Cartoon Network or EW have to gain by pulling such a stunt outside of upsetting their readership and fanbases?
The entire announcement does not read to me prankish in the least as the article takes great care to mention the devoted fanbase for Steven Universe (with reference to its strong presence on tumblr no less) as well as both series rise in popularity in a similar scale to other CN series like Adventure Time and Regular Show. The article sings nothing but praises and positivity for the renewals and return of both shows. These announcements turning out to be a prank would be a terrible PR move by both the Network and EW, and I highly doubt this is the case.
Of course it never hurts to play it safe, but this article as well as several members of the creniverse’s own expression of excitment at the news are all strong indicators to me that this news is again legitimate and not at all a crummy prank.
TL;DR- I am entirely skeptical that today’s news is a ‘prank’ and will eat my hat if it is.
Wandering about our university campus one night, my friend and I decided to explore one of the science buildings. There we found a lone chemistry student, and had an incredible time hanging out with him. We often went back to find him again, but we were never there at the same time as he was.
One such night, we tried the knob on the door to the tutoring center, to find it unlocked. We opened the door, and the room was empty. We walked in and looked around. I turned to my friend and said, jokingly, “We should alphabetize their bookshelf." He said, "Okay.”
So we did.
(We were feeling whimsical)
This was our first positive prank, and we felt awesome afterwards. It was cool to to do something randomly helpful and anonymous. It was late in the year, but we started planning for more.
Next we did the classic “Egging” prank, as Easter had just passed. We rounded up a bunch of plastic eggs and filled them with candy, except for one which had a piece of paper in it that said DFTBA. We pinned it outside the tutoring center with a note informing them of the nature of the prank.
For our last prank, we wanted to do something more elaborate. After some thinking and searching the internet for ideas, I came up with something–we wrote haikus about the elements, copied them onto strips of paper , and taped them all over the hallway of the chem building.
I was disappointed that we couldn’t do more, but it’s a project to get ready for next year. I hope people continue to do positive pranks, and if this gives you some ideas, so much the better.